Jude and Sadie had talked it over that night, Jude was going to finish her tour, by the end of it, she would be just over 4 months along and probably still be able to hide it if she wore loose clothing. After the tour, they would figure out what to do next, but they both decided that they weren't going to tell anyone, at all. Sadie, Jude, and her doctor when she found one, were the only people who were going to know. She wasn't going to raise her child amidst scandal and heartache. She'd learned the hard way that fame was over rated, and in the end you ended up getting burned more than anything.

Tommy was having a hard time adjusting to "family" life, it's not like he didn't want a family some day, he just didn't want this one.

TommyT: What is wrong with me? I look at my son and I feel nothing, he had blonde hair and brown eyes and acts, looks, talks nothing like me, shouldn't I feel something, god I'm a horrible father.

Kim walked into the room, she was a beautiful woman of 25, she had been a model before she became pregnant with Christopher, but now was a secretary at a local agency. Her bank account had dwindled before she'd moved to Montana, she had a bit of a gambling problem and Atlantic City had been a hop, jump, and a skip away. Tommy was the answer to her, Keith, and Christopher's prayers. He just didn't know it yet. Hopefully by the time he did they would be too far away to touch.

Tommy sat in the living room a few nights later watching the tv in the living room. He was barely paying attention until he heard a familiar name that immediately got his attention.

Tv reporter: We're here at 17 year old rock princess Jude Harrison's 35th stop on her 50 stop tour, here is a live feed to her concert in New Orleans,

The scene switches to Jude up on stage, singing a new song ( my immortal by evanescense)

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

You used to captivate me

By your resonating life

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts

My once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away

All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

As the song ends the scene switches back to the Tv reporter

Tv Reporter: wow, that girl has got some vocal power and an amazing ability to capture heart break in all of her songs, who ever that one is about, Ouch. He must have worked her over good.

Tommy couldn't stand it anymore, he clicked off the TV and stood there running his hands through his hair, he was going to ask Kim for a paternity test, and if she says no, he'll tell her he's leaving.

Jude walked off of the stage after performing "My immortal" and went straight backstage to get a drink of water. It had been 3 months and 4 days since Tommy had left her, and unknowingly their unborn child. Jude was exactly 3 months and 2 days pregnant. A doctor in Louisiana had confirmed it just yesterday.

Doctor: Miss Harrison, you have a healthy baby as far as I can see, but from what you tell me you've been under a lot of stress lately, in my medical opinion I think maybe you should lighten your work load a bit. 50 states in 4 months? If you strain yourself too much you could be putting yourself and your baby in danger.

After that appointment Sadie made Jude slow down but always made it look like things were still normal to everyone else. Jude had to drink 10 glasses of water a day, take her pre natal vitamins, and when Sadie and Jude were alone in their room, they would talk about baby names, and put the head phones on Jude's quickly growing stomach so that the little Harrison could hear it's mama's music.

Jude still wasn't whole, but she was getting there. She still missed Tommy terribly, but she knew she had to be strong for herself, but more importantly for her baby, the baby that both she and Sadie had come to love in the past 2 months. Instead of crying, she would pour her heart and soul into song after heart wrenching song about Tommy and how he'd made her feel. She hadn't heard a thing from him since the night before he had left, and late at night she still caught herself wondering what he was doing, if he was happy, or as miserable as her. I hope so, you deserve it Tommy. She turned over in bed quickly trying to stop the tears in her eyes from pouring out, she almost succeeded but one silent tear slid down her face and onto her pillow.

Tommy was sitting in his room at Kim's ranch and had just finished watching Jude's concert, she hadn't looked like his Jude, she was pale, and she looked kinda chubby, but she was still beautiful. To him she'd always be beautiful no matter what. Tommy glanced down at the piece of paper In his hands, he had been working on a song for the past 2 days and he thought to himself

TommyT: I wish I could sing this song to her, just so she'd know that I haven't forgotten about her, and that I'm doing this for her. Then he had an idea, I can record it here, I have my equipment and I'll send it to the radio stations, they'll never know where I am, and Jude can hear how much I still love her, but I need her to move on.

Tommy spent the rest of the evening and night recording his song in the mini studio he had set up for himself in one of the guest bedrooms. He was sitting at the soundboard and held the final bootleg copy of his song in his hand.

Tommy: Here's my song Jude, I hope you hear it.

Tommy left and drove to the nearest post office, he walked up to the counter and said "Hi I'd like to send this to the nearest national radio station" The man gave him all the information he needed and Tommy paid him. "How fast will this get there"?

Man: Over night is an extra 10$

Tommy hands him a 10 and say's "thanks".

Tommy made his way back "home" He still couldn't quite think of it as home. He went to bed early that day, and couldn't wait for the next day when he hoped his song would be played on the radio.

Jude was laying down the next evening listening to the radio, Sadie had just gone out to get her chunky munky ice cream, because Jude was having a craving. Jude was thinking to herself how much of a good sister Sadie really was.

JudeT: I wouldn't be able to get through this without her, she really has come through for me, and my baby. I know we've had our differences over the years, but she's here for me when it really counts and she has completely waited on me hand and foot since she joined the tour, I'm really lucky to have a sister like her.

Just then her thoughts were interrupted when she heard "His" name.

Radio: Well guess who popped up with a new single almost 4 months after he disappeared somewhere in the states, yes that is right folks, little Tommy Q formerly of Boyz Attack apparently sent out this bootleg copy of his new song "Hate me"

Here you go, call in and tell me what you think the number is --. (hate me by blue October)

There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain

An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again?

And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?

And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with

The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again

In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night

While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight

You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate

You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take

So I'll drive so damn far away that I never cross your mind

And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways

Yeah ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave

Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made

And like a baby boy I never was a man

Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand

And then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"

Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be

And then she whispered "how can you do this to me?"

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways

Yeah ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

Radio: Well you have to wonder who that number is going out to. Well Tommy Q who was Jude Harrison's producer until his mysterious disappearance, has been in hiding since May, but we hope he comes back, and produce's some more great hits by the one and only rock princess herself. Since were on the subject of Jude Harrison, here is her hit single "Skin" (Skin by Alexz Johnson)

I drift away to a place
Another kind of life
Take away the pain
I create my paradise

Everything I've held
Has hit the wall
What used to be yours
Isn't yours at all

Falling apart, and all that I'm asking
Is a crime, am I overreacting

Oh, he's under my skin
Just give me something to get rid of him
I've got a reason now to bury this alive
Another little white lie

What you had didn't fit
Among the pretty things
But never fear, never fear
I now know where you've been

Braids have been un-tied
Ribbons fall away
Leave the consequence
But my tears you'll taste

Falling apart and all that I question
Is this a dream or is this my lesson

Oh, he's under my skin
Just give me something to get rid of him
I've got a reason now to bury this alive
Another little white lie

Oh my permission to sin
You might have started my reckoning
I've got a reason now to bury him alive
Another little white lie

I don't believe I'll be alright
I don't believe I'll be ok
I don't believe how you throw me away
I do believe you didn't try
I do blame you for every lie
When I look in your eyes, I don't see mine

Jude and Tommy were both listening to that same station and though they were a thousand miles apart, each cried. Both of them crying because they knew the other wanted them to get on with their lives, and one cried because she knew she never would, no matter how much she tried.