10. Maybe You're Better Off July 27
Little angel, go away
Jonathan Crane sat in a small café. It was in the Narrows, and not a particularly good part of the Narrows, either. But he figured it would be hardest for him to be recognized here. The small amount of cash he had on him wouldn't last long. He reflected that he would soon have to find some way of making money. Probably not anything legal, he added sadly. He couldn't afford to be seen by law-abiding citizens.
Shaking his head, he looked up at the dark windows. They were quite dirty, but he could see some of the street and the people on it. He froze as he recognized a familiar form. Jenny. He turned away from the window. He didn't want to be seen by her, either. He didn't need her. He didn't need anyone. "Eye on what I'm after, I don't need another friend," he told himself.
Come again some other day
On second thought, she could be very helpful. She was clever, not to mention well-connected. She managed to be the friend of most of the criminal underworld as well as of the police without making anyone hate her. That was indeed a feat, he thought. But no matter. He had no intention of asking for help from anyone.
Perhaps later, he decided. Later, when he had made a name for himself once again, he might go find her. Or perhaps not. He didn't know. The future was not of pressing importance. It was best to find someone who would hire him now, not daydream of what he would do after that. It was pointless. "Clever got me this far, then tricky got me in."
The devil has my ear today
"Hello, Mr. Zsasz," Jonathan said to the man sitting at the bar next to him.
"Hey, Doc. How'd you escape?" the man asked.
Jonathan smiled. "Never mind that. You said you could find a job for me with your boss, didn't you?" he asked.
"Yeah, I think so. But we'll have to ask him. He might just want to get rid of you," he replied, laughing.
Jonathan forced his smile to remain. "Let's hope not."
The criminal shrugged, putting a slip of paper into his pocket. "I'll give this to him. He knows where to find you?" he asked.
"No. But you do. I'll be here every evening until I hear from you."
"Sure thing, doc," the man replied, rising. Jonathan watched him leave the bar, wondering what he was doing. Working for the new mob boss didn't seem very wise, especially since he could barely hold onto his power.
"Time to feed the monster, I don't need another friend," he mumbled to himself, as he rose to leave.
I'll never hear a word you say
Jonathan sat in a different café. It was morning, early. He didn't want to be noticed as being in the same place all the time, in case anyone became interested. He was sleeping in a warehouse most of the time, and making do as best he could. He didn't know how heroes in stories did this sort of thing all the time. It was rather difficult.
"Lisa! Get over here!" the cook called to a waitress.
Jonathan started, looking at the woman who answered the call. Could be the Lisa I know, he thought. That's my cue to leave, he decided, rising.
"Leaving so soon, sir?" the waitress asked, coming up behind him. Apparently, she'd finished talking to the cook.
"Yes," he began, then stopped when he saw how she stared at him. "What?"
"Dr. Crane," she whispered. "She was right… you should go back," she added.
"I can't," he replied sharply
"Why? Wouldn't you be happier there?" she demanded.
Jonathan snorted, and left. He smiled a little as he listened to the song playing in the background. "Comfort is a mystery, crawling out of my own skin. Just give me what I came for, then I'm out the door again."
He promised I would find a little solace
Back in the bar, Jonathan sat quietly, trying not to draw any attention from the staff. He didn't have any money left, and he doubted that they would let him stay if they knew. He glanced around, hoping that Mr. Zsasz would hurry up. He didn't know how much longer he could take this life on the run. Maybe the boss would just kill him. It would be a relief.
"Hey, doc," a voice said behind him.
"Ah, Mr. Zsasz. Glad you could make it," he said softly.
"What, nothing to drink for you?" He laughed. "You won't have to worry about that much longer, doc. Got good news for ya," he continued.
And some piece of mind
Jonathan sat in what he considered to be his warehouse, holding a note. He hadn't opened it yet. He didn't know if he wanted to know what the boss wanted. He felt like he stood on the threshold. He could throw the note away, and try something else. He could turn himself in, he supposed. Or he could read the note. And work for a criminal again. What had happened to make those his only decisions? Hubris.
With a sigh, he opened it. It guaranteed him a job of power, similar to his old one. He would not be able to work at Arkham, but the boss assured him that he could get him another identity to work somewhere out of Gotham. Provided he helped out the man whenever need be. He shook his head, staring at the paper. He knew what that meant. And he didn't want to help him. But what to do? "Lie to get what I need," he thought.
Whatever, just as long as I don't feel so
Standing in an ally, Jonathan stared intently at the apartment. It had been over a week since he had lived there, but he had come back a few times since then. He was careful to stay in the shadows, and avoid being seen. He wondered why he was acting like this. He'd never had any doubt of what to do next before. Why were all his goals gone? Maybe because none of them involved being wanted by half the city, he thought bitterly.
He heard footsteps approaching, and quickly hid in a side street. He stayed there a few minutes thinking. Well, he couldn't live in the past anymore. He had to move on with his life, he decided, and turned away. He would go find someone to take him to the new boss. Days later, he still hadn't found any criminals he thought he could trust. He had recognized a couple, but they were lucky to be sane at the moment, and wouldn't be too happy to see him. He sighed as he walked past the bar he had frequented for a while. But they realized he was broke, and wouldn't let him in. He looked anyway, hoping to find someone he knew. He did. But not who he wanted.
Desperate, ravenous, so weak and powerless over you.
And I listen for the whisper of your sweet insanity,
Jenny sat in her living room. She was holding a slip of paper in her hand. She had read it twice already. She looked down at it again.
Dear Miss Ducard,
While I did enjoy my stay, it has come to my attention that I have remained longer than was wise. I doubt we will meet again. To tell the truth, I'm afraid I have broken the most important rule in my profession. Never get involved. I fear you have committed this transgression as well, so I must go. Farewell.
-Jonathan
She sighed a little, tossing the note away from her. She turned on the TV and stared at it for a while. It occurred to her that she had turned off the sound, and was waiting to hear something. She shook her head, and turned the sound back on.
While I formulate denials of your affect on me.
"I told you already, I'm fine," Jenny said irritably.
"You've done nothing but mope lately. What's up?" Lisa asked.
Jenny frowned, and turned away. "Leave me alone."
"Why? Why won't you talk to me anymore?" Lisa asked. "I thought I was your best friend," she said, frowning in mock anger.
Smiling a little, Jenny shook her head. "I thought you were too," she replied.
Lisa laughed. "That's much better," she said when Jenny joined in. "So, what happened to not having a type?" she teased.
Jenny shrugged. "I still don't. Probably just temporary insanity," she explained. Lisa smiled.
You're a stranger, so what do I care?
Jenny paced her apartment. She hadn't been able to hold still for days. "What's wrong with me?" Sighing, she forced herself to sit down at her desk. She started to arrange the magazine clippings that she had moved back there. But then she came across the article about Arkham. She glared at it, and tore it savagely in half.
Then, she leapt to her feet. "Why did I do that?" she wondered aloud. "I must be crazy… you don't even know him," she chided herself. She shook her head, and walked out the door again.
You vanish today,
Jenny was walking home. It was late. She looked around nervously. She kept a careful watch on all of her surroundings. It was stupid to let her guard down just because she had other things to think about. And she had a lot to think about. The new mob boss was really bothering Eddie, and she didn't know how much longer their little café would last without "protection."
Suddenly, she saw something in the shadows. A person. He, or she, slid away quietly into another alleyway. She walked a little faster, wondering why the silhouette was so familiar.
Not the first time I hear all the lies
Jenny sat on her couch again. She had to go to work in a few minute, but she couldn't bring herself to move. She was tired and felt like she hadn't slept in days. Which she hadn't. The phone was ringing, she realized. She answered it.
"Hello? Oh, hi, Lisa. Yeah, I'll be there. I know, I'm hurrying," she said irritably. She hung up and sighed. She rose, and caught sight of the note on the floor. It had been there for a while. She frowned at it. "Got attached, did you? Heaven forbid," she snarled at it. "Like I've never heard that before," she grumbled, walking away.
What am I to do with all this silence?
"It's so quiet at home," Jenny told Lisa. "Maybe you could come over for a while?" she asked tentatively.
"I have a better idea. Why don't you come stay with me for a couple days?" Lisa said gently.
"Why?"
She sighed. "Because you're not happy."
"And your house is just paradise, I take it? No thanks," Jenny replied, shaking her head. "I wouldn't want to inconvenience you," she said politely. With that, she stalked away. Home wasn't bad. Just a little lonely nowadays. Why hadn't she noticed how lonely it was before? Maybe she had just forgotten. That must be it.
Shy away, shy away, phantom, run away, terrified child
"You know, he was here the other day," Lisa said quietly. It had been days since their fight. She was glad that Jenny had returned to work. She worried about stepping on such dangerous ground again, but hoped to make things right soon.
"Who?" Jenny asked, feigning nonchalance. But Lisa noticed the way her shoulders tensed.
"Crane. He was here. He left as soon as he realized who I was," she added.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing. That is, I told him to come back," she added truthfully.
"You what?" Jenny demanded.
"I thought it might help if you guys talked a little. I didn't mean-"
"I'm sure you didn't," Jenny said tiredly. "Whatever. I have to go."
She walked home, leaving the bright lights of the café far behind her. Every where she looked, she thought she saw someone in the shadows. "Get away," she whispered to the apparitions only she could see.
I'm better off without you, tearing my will down
