Author's Notes:
Aaaahhh I am procrastinating!
Damn it! I didn't want to write this, but omfg… I just had to… ugh.
Current status of my OG fic chapter splitting: prologue + chapters one through three complete. Chapters four through ten, pending. I also have to write an all-new chapter to insert between CH3 and CH4.
Yep. Totally feeling the laziness strike at my heart and soul… goddammit.
Well, at least you now have this little entry to enjoy!
The characters Katsuharu, Lorem, and Ipsum will be featured here. I reviewed the game script a little bit just so I don't butcher their character portrayals. Hopefully I didn't.
Happy reading!
Adapt or Die
"There are two options."
~ Andrew Grove
Joshua emerged from the forest, exhausted from yet another night of playing hide-and-seek with Adine and her two friends. It had been over a week since his visit to Uncle Megun's, since he'd begun job hunting in earnest.
The whole place being a small town played for and against him. Most business owners didn't need an extra pair of helping hands and the few that had accepted him so far required him to report in an office in the middle of town, near city hall and the more modern infrastructure that had CCTV cameras watching every alley like dogs.
That wouldn't have been a problem if he hadn't been the only human living in this modern, Earth-like world of dragons. The powers he'd gained from his first transmigration had been a tremendous boon in his survival, but there was more to life than feeding on microorganisms, hunting wild game, diving into dumpsters…
…and willfully ignoring the Dragon Realms' incessant call to return.
The temptation of opening that one-way wormhole to the Spyro universe was growing stronger by the day. Joshua might have already done so, and out of sheer boredom at that, if he didn't have nightmares plaguing his dreams every night. The call had only gotten stronger because of Adine's "human hunting" campaign, trying to seek out the rumored human lurking in the forest, employing methods similar to teenagers going "ghost hunting" in supposedly haunted places back on his Earth.
His nerves were cracking from the lack of rest. Regardless of whatever mutations that his element had done to him or that the Portal Masters had inflicted upon his body in their pursuit of knowledge, his control was thinning out and it wouldn't be long before even projecting his "Corey" persona to the locals' souls gave him a bad headache.
Using his sixth sense, Joshua spotted the old ice cream vendor in this desolate park, still sitting in some corner by his lonesome. The old dragon wasn't that much larger than a hippo, his eyes barely above the human's own. It was a bit strange, coming from the City of Warfang where adults stood as tall as mammoth elephants. Even Spyro and Cynder were taller than this elder vendor, and they were like, what, 29-years old when he last saw them in Lightcore?
Joshua shook the thoughts away. The less he remembered the other world, the better. He started walking towards the ice cream vendor, quickly glancing into Naomi's wallet. He chose the smallest bill he could find there. It was probably a bad idea as the lack of sales meant the old dude didn't have any change, but at least he'd be able to use it and get something that wasn't burnt meat, garbage, or tasteless life force.
When the ice cream cart came into view, Joshua expanded his ego boundaries—a feat he'd been capable of since his initial transmigration—and enveloped the old soul. He began perception masking immediately, overwriting the scent and sight of a human being with that of Corey, a bipedal "runner" dragon.
Joshua waved his hand as soon as the old reptile noticed him. "Hey there! I'm feeling like I want to treat myself to some ice cream today. What do you have?"
When he got close enough to the cart, he realized there were a ton of things to offer. It put a lot of ice cream stores back on his Earth to shame, and that was something when he didn't remember much from that world anymore. The old dragon, of course, put on his best sales pitch. "Anything under the sun, young dragon! I have ice cream, gelato, frozen yogurt, frozen custard, soft serve, sorbet, sandwiches, popsicles, mellorine, sherbet, cold taffy, snow cones, and even halo-halo! They can be served however you want it: waffles, sticks, pretzels, cups, wafer cones, cake cones, sugar cones, chocolate-coated cones, double cones, or vanilla cones. And the toppings—
"All right, all right! Alona's cloaca, I get it. You have a lot of variety," Joshua stopped him before he could keep rambling.
The old dragon smiled, showing that he still had a few teeth left behind his wrinkled lips. "That's why I got this big cart here." Calling it a 'big cart' was a massive understatement. Even the food vendors in Meredy Square's night markets didn't have stalls this large!
"So what'll you have?" the vendor asked.
Honestly, Joshua was craving a combination of chocolate and vanilla, drizzled with strawberry chunks and banana slices. He literally hadn't had ice cream for decades and the old vendor had the ingredients available. The human pointed this out, but before the vendor could get to his work, he pulled out the bill he'd taken out of Naomi's wallet. "Will this be enough, sir?"
The dragon winced. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid I don't have any change. Sales have been slow today."
Joshua sighed. So much for that idea. He would've had better chances socializing if he'd been able to break down the bills into smaller denominations without arousing suspicion (or without getting in clear view of a security camera). Still, he wasn't walking away from his ice cream. "Don't worry about it. Maybe you can keep the change? I really want some ice cream right now."
"Oh no, I can't! That doesn't sit well with me. That's enough to buy six of my best products!" The old dragon refused his offer, to his surprise. It was a bit shocking to Joshua. People in both his Earth and the Dragon Realms wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of his kindness.
"Okay… then, if you don't want to take it all, why not just take it and put it on credit or something? This won't be the last time I'll have a craving for ice cream." The suggestion made perfect sense to him.
Still, the old dragon was diffident. "But, the other customers…"
Frustrated, Joshua palmed his face. "What other customers‽ Sir, I've been seeing you in this corner the last few days. There aren't a lot of people coming out here."
"The last few…?" A glint appeared in his eyes. "Ahhh, you must be the new dragon in town, right? I think I heard about you. Cor… Coral… or… uhm…"
"The name's Corey."
"Ah, right! Corey. Yes, a lady flyer mentioned you a while back. She said you have a distinct coloration. I am inclined to agree with her." A lady flyer? Oh, he must've been talking about Adine.
"She was with two friends, wasn't she?" Joshua asked.
"Indeed, she was. How did you know that?"
"I sleep around here. They've been disturbing my rest lately, rummaging around the forest and making enough noise to wake the dead," Joshua grumbled, pouting.
The old dragon responded, "They claim to be 'human hunting'."
"Do you believe them?"
"I've done a few of those in my youth. All, acts of futility. But I think they might be onto something. I've heard about what happened to that poor police officer. Oh! And our courier, too."
By the Ancestors, even an ice cream salesman in this empty park had heard of him. Joshua cringed at the thought of more "human hunters" joining the fray. He needed to keep an even lower profile now. No, he needed to stay inside a freaking home! But where? Where would he sleep? Lorem hadn't sought him out even until now.
The old dragon cleared his throat. "Ahem! Ahem!"
Joshua was startled out of his thoughts. He barely held on to his perception masking. "S-sorry, I didn't hear you. What did you say?"
"I was asking if you're all right sleeping in the forest. Aren't you afraid that the human might get you?"
"No way. That doesn't exist. Even if it did, it wouldn't have all that supernatural stuff mentioned in the stories. I bet they're just exaggerating." Besides, he was the subject of those tales. Why would he be afraid of himself?
"You sound like a grounded fellow, Mister Corey," complimented the ice cream vendor. "Your ice cream, by the way." He placed the cone on a holder near the front of the counter and extended his forepaw, beckoning Joshua to give the money. "You made a good point earlier, so I'll accept your offer."
"Thank you." Joshua handed over the bill and dug in. Rather than licking it, he took a big bite out of all three scoops. A few bits of strawberries fell out, but he didn't mind. He shut his eyes and relished in the flavors. It was exquisite. Certainly tasted much better than the Nestlé ice cream he used to have back in the day. "Weaver of Epics, this is amazing! I've never had ice cream as good as this!"
The elderly reptile crooned. "Thank you. As the only dedicated ice cream confectioner in town, your praise is music to my ears. I've never had a dissatisfied customer in the 30-plus years I've been doing business."
"Thirty years‽ And the only ice cream guy, too? Then how come people aren't flocking to this place? You ought to have lines! This stuff just tastes way too good!" Joshua was taken aback. Businesses that lasted for decades were oftentimes labors of love and celebrated by the townsfolk. That logic applied not only on Earth but also to the Dragon Realms. The Stone Hill Artisans had been that way ever since Joshua started writing mysteries for them. The same could be said for the local coffeehouse that Warfang's nobility called Conillion Hollow—Gavinus always put his love and soul into his 'qawa' and it showed in both presentation and taste.
The thought ambushed him, unbidden. Are those places actually still around after—
Luckily, Joshua only had a second to dwell on it when the old dragon started chuckling. "It's obvious you aren't from here, Corey."
He felt nervous. "Why is that?"
"You're definitely from the city if you don't know the history of Katsuharu's Confections. People used to line up back in the day, like you just said. Long lines, all the way to the back of that shed over there." Katsuharu pointed to the distant waiting shed over a nearby hill. "Before, if they didn't see me in this park, some customers would even rush over to the nearby villages just to line up and get their favorite cone!" Joshua had been living among dragonkind for so long that he could easily imagine it.
"...what happened?"
"Tatsu Park happened," Katsuharu growled. He lamented how it put them closer to stores where people could waltz in and buy premade ice cream. He rambled for a long time about how ice cream was a work of art in itself, going off on a tangent about a dragoness he had mentored under.
The cities were a bad influence on dragons nowadays, he complained. People no longer appreciated the art, settling only for what he called "ugly, mass-manufactured pulp". Even the customers who sought his tutelage were products of the same mentality, expecting quick and easy recipes rather than a slow and dedicated process. People were becoming lazy in this day and age, and it showed in the dwindling customer flow over the years he'd been staying here. They would much rather go to Tatsu Park and buy their cheap trash. Why fly or run over to the other side of town when they could just go spend a few minutes at some fancy-looking supermarket and return to their homes without breaking a sweat?
Joshua had to admit: Katsuharu made a good point. One reason he liked to stay here was because of how much less populated it was. Few locals rarely came here. He could relax, walk around without the perception masking, and be as free as he wanted. The only problem was that he didn't have anyone to talk to. Having people to speak with had helped tremendously in his first couple of months in the Dragon Realms. This place wouldn't be any different. If he spent any more time alone with his thoughts, he'd go mad!
He swallowed another delicious mouthful of Katsuharu's finest. The artisan in him simply wouldn't accept this jewel rotting away in isolation. Luckily, what the old dragon had to do to turn around his misfortune was obvious. Even a dumb egg could point it out.
"Why don't you move somewhere else?"
"Move somewhere else?" Katsuharu looked like Joshua had just punched his muzzle. "But, this has been my spot for the last 30 years!"
"Sure, but it's not working out anymore, isn't it?"
Katsuharu raised a claw to his chin. He fidgeted with the locks of his flowing mane. "For now. I'm just hoping that young dragons will, like you, realize what they're missing and start coming over to my old spots again."
"And how long can you even wait? Won't this land you in financial trouble?"
"I can wait. I've gathered a decent retirement fund over the years." He postured proudly. "I may be an avid player of Mahjong, but I don't let it sway me!"
Joshua's mouth went agape. Mahjong. A Chinese game from his Earth. A gambling game. He glossed over the implications and focused on the fact this dragon was playing it, and avidly, by his own words. It was only a matter of time before he did something stupid and he started hurtling into dire straits.
This had to be fixed. He couldn't let Katsuharu just leave things to Gintomyr. "Katsuharu, won't you be in a better position if you change things up now? What if you lose all your savings or something 'cause you couldn't control yourself? I know you can stake real money on games like Mahjong."
"You sound like you know the game…"
"My grandmother used to play it."
The old dragon hummed. His furrowed expression made it clear he was deep in thought. "All right, Corey. Fine, I'll hear you out."
The skepticism in his voice was natural. Joshua shifted his view to his mental constellation and kept a close eye on Katsuharu's sphere of life—a frozen, azure ball of ice. He'd have to cheat a little if he had to try persuading what looked to be a stubborn, old merchant. "I know this'll sound like getting your scales dirty, but please keep an open mind when I suggest you move your cart to Tatsu Park…"
.
.
.
.
.
.
Katsuharu sighed. "I'm not sure how I let you convince me to come here when this is the place that stole all my customers from me."
Joshua huffed. "Remember what I said. The winds are always changing, ever-turbulent. If you're lucky, the turbulence becomes a tailwind. Other times, they become a storm. You need to have the cloaca to brave the currents. If you just leave it to—ehem! If you just drift along the winds, someday you might find yourself trapped between a storm and a mountain. You either adapt or die."
His life signature shrunk, turning slightly red at the harsh words. "Corey, has someone ever told you to be softer with your words?"
Joshua would have laughed if he didn't know it would annoy the old vendor some more. Be soft with his words? Valorem the Principled, why should he? There was no such thing as softness back in Warfang. Even diplomatic speech had an edge to it. It was far better to fly straight with someone except when the obstacles were bigger than he could chew.
There wasn't much to be worried about anyway when the local dragons posed no threat to him. He could also discard his Corey identity anytime and replace it with another.
"A few times," he answered the old codger. "But where I come from, it's better to say it as it is. Changing your words to make it more polite also makes it prone to misinterpretation. Besides, it doesn't suit me." Vara had taught him that one years ago. It was a bad habit that rubbed off on him fairly quickly, albeit one that facilitated the few good things that he'd had back in those days.
Katsuharu smiled. "I concede, your approach has its merits; you should still be careful. Even if you're absolutely right, you still don't want to anger the wrong people!"
"...I learned that the hard way." Joshua coughed. "Anyway… here we are! Tatsu Park!" He spread his arms wide in melodramatic fashion, like he was acting out a play or he was fifteen—no, twenty years younger. "What's the plan?"
Under Joshua's, well, Corey's guidance, Katsuharu remained open-minded enough to consider transferring over to Tatsu Park for the rest of the day. He had framed the whole flight as "bringing the glory of Katsuharu's Confections" to a crowd that didn't know real ice cream until they tasted it.
Joshua knew multiple ways to attract people to the ice cream stand. It would've helped greatly if he had what the locals called an Ixomen Sphere, but he had a feeling that digital technology in this alternate Earth hadn't exactly caught up with the year 2015 on his. For all he knew, social media probably didn't exist yet.
He kept quiet about his methods of attracting customers. Katsuharu was what people called a boomer back on his Earth. He seemed like a nice, old dude, but when his ire was simmering at the very notion of coming here, then how would he react to standard marketing practices like freebies and promotions? Better to let the old fogey take the lead, and then slowly push him forward. It wasn't as if he could throw around his humanity to get him to try everything he suggested.
"The plan?" He blinked, confused. "Nothing special. My ice cream speaks for itself. People will come to me like they always do."
Yeah, that wasn't going to work. They'd have to be more aggressive than just sitting quietly in one corner. "I'll go promote you actively around here, okay? Just don't forget our deal: a reasonable portion of the day's sales!"
"Go right ahead," said the dragon.
Having gained Katsuharu's approval, Joshua quickly went to work. He got one of the spare signages from the cart and began shouting about his ice cream. "Ice cream by the one and only Katsuharu, here in Tatsu Park!" the human would yell out. He wiggled the board that put Katsuharu's Confections on prominent display, even tossing it about like the sign spinners would in the United States.
Everyone who looked at him saw a red and purple runner flipping and twirling the sign and screaming at the top of his lungs. Joshua cheated a little, of course. He tapped into his otherworldly power, linking up to a few spheres of life and willing them to feel thirsty, to crave some ice cream. Nobody even bothered with the brief flashes of light twinkling in the daylight. It certainly helped that the signboard had a bit of gloss to it.
His strategy bore fruit, and it was shockingly effective. Within half an hour, a line had formed. It was a long queue. It seemed that Katsuharu's previous estimate was not hyperbole!
Business was booming for the old dragon. Several times, he would glance in Joshua's direction, wave at him, and give an excited thumbs up. Joshua maintained his work for as long as he could, meandering around the park, even after he was starting to sweat in his tattered cloak. Several fans of Katsuharu's ice cream even approached him to express their appreciation not only for convincing the old dragon to change location, but also for assisting him in drawing people out.
"He can't do everything by himself nowadays," one said. "I'm glad he's got someone to help him out."
"Heeey, aren't you the new dragon that's in town? Adine mentioned you the other day! Seems like you're starting to do well for yourself!" Someone complimented him. It was encouraging. If he could get a steady income from here, well, finding a place to live was next. Then, returning Naomi's wallet. And then, enjoying what life had to offer here in this alternate Earth.
Joshua kept at it for another hour. His head was beginning to ache from all the perception masking he was doing. He persisted, knowing full well he was still far from his limit. Not until my nose starts bleeding, he told himself.
Then, he felt a familiar soul in the crowd. The sphere of life was heading his way. Joshua turned and saw a face he'd seen before, hovering towards him, ice cream cone in hand. "Hey, Corey!" It was Lorem in full uniform, complete with hat and sling bag. "I knew I recognized those scales."
"Clear skies!" Joshua greeted. He belatedly realized he was not in Warfang when Lorem didn't shoot back with the customary response. "Sorry. I meant hello."
"I guess the response should be 'steady winds', 'swift hunting', or something like that?" The diminutive dragon snickered at Joshua's mistake. "Should've expected you to be an RPer too. You did say you used to be a playwright."
Whew! Praise the Ancestors roleplaying had been a thing in modern civilization. "The proper response is 'steady winds'," Joshua said. "World-building is really fun when you go into all the little details."
Lorem smiled knowingly. "You're preaching to the choir! Now hold on a minute. Let me call someone over."
Lorem turned and beckoned over at someone. Joshua's eyes didn't know which dragon it was, but his sixth sense discerned one of the souls contracting in response to his waving. An eastern dragon separated himself from the crowd. He walked towards them, eyes on the excited blue. "There you are. Was wondering where you went." His eyes shifted to Joshua. "And this is…?
"This is Corey," Lorem spoke. "I told you about him last week. I met him at Uncle Megun's." He rounded back on Joshua. "And Corey, this is Ipsum. My roommate."
Joshua regarded the eastern dragon for a moment. Golden eyes behind a pair of spectacles, light purple scales reminiscent of Vara's, and a flowing, green mane. Underbelly was yellow but iridescent. He was still looking for a place to live, so if he could convince this guy, the better. "Hey Ipsum, nice meeting you."
"Likewise." He gave his ice cream a long, drawn-out lick, relishing the taste. "Haven't had something this great in a while. I heard you were responsible for this?"
"That's right," Joshua said without any embellishment. "Did Lorem tell you about my situation?" Wait a minute… 'Lorem' and 'Ipsum'? Seldoot's horns… what poor taste in names.
"He did." His sphere of life remained calm. No sympathy to be had from this dude right here.
"Well, I usually sleep in the forest beside the other park 'cause it's quieter there. I've been seeing Katsuharu there for a few days now and I eventually got curious as to why he was sticking it out there, where he wasn't getting any customers at all. I bought some ice cream from him, we had a chat about his predicament, and now here we are." The explanation drew an understanding nod from the two males. Lorem's eyes, though, seemed to widen from realization. His life signature even shuddered, briefly going yellow.
"That was very kind of you," Ipsum remarked. "Not a lot of people will go out of their way to do that."
Lorem chimed in, "And hey, from the looks of it, you might be getting a job now! I don't know how well Katsuharu will pay you, but now you'll have something to get by."
Joshua grinned at them. "Tell me about it! Only thing left to do is find a place to stay. I'll probably ask Adine for help. With all the flying she's doing, I bet she knows her way around town." Lorem fit the bill too, but the less weight he put on his wings the better.
The two roommates glanced at each other instead of reacting. While Ipsum's life signature remained difficult to read, that wasn't the case for Lorem's, which started spinning faster. It expanded slowly, as though filling up with happiness.
"Actually, we've been talking about it on and off," Lorem began.
"But what you've done with Katsuharu convinced me," said Ipsum.
Joshua wouldn't hold out any hope until he was absolutely sure. He hadn't had much luck in his life since his first transmigration, but the few good things he'd gotten had truly, truly been good to him. "Convinced you that what?"
"That you're worth getting to know better."
Lorem flew into Joshua's face, stopping just before where Corey's mouth should be. "In other words, you can move in with us!"
"...R-really?"
"Yeah! We just needed to know if you're someone who can be friends with a couple weirdos like us."
Joshua chuckled. "I don't mind at all! My closest friends back home were all misfits in their own way. We were a bunch of weirdos ourselves but we didn't care a bit." He thought back to all the people he'd become close to in the past.
A possessive little girl with a torn wing and a love for inventions. A talentless noble with lofty aspirations and a penchant for teasing her friends. A timid commoner who liked flowers, drawing art, and found a kindred soul in the city's only human. A rebellious engineer who disdained figures of authority and sought to live life for himself. A stoic mentor who had somehow seen it all and did it all, providing sober guidance and stability to anyone in the group who needed it. And an aspiring knight who'd been humbled by his supposed lessers and grew fond of those he used to bully—
.
.
.
Joshua was gasping for breath, his eyes staring dumbly at the lifeless corpse in front of him. It was a dragon he'd called his friend for several years, bleeding to death from a giant hole in his neck. "You, you stabbed him. You really stabbed him!"
"I gave him a warning. He didn't listen."
"Suck a fucking egg! Did… did all those years even mean anything? They trusted you! We trusted you!" Joshua couldn't stop staring at those dying, scarlet eyes. He could literally feel the soul leaving the confines of the body. The dragon in question could barely raise his head, for it dangled awkwardly off of a thin sliver of flesh.
"Peace enfeebles, Joshua. It breeds complacency. Spyro, Cynder, and the Guardians had always been optimistic fools. Didn't Kaos warn you all those years ago? A fat, juicy sheep always attracts the fiercest predators."
"...you… I can't, I can't believe it. You… You fucking piece of dung! I'll, I-I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I SWEAR TO FUCKING AZEROTH, WHEN I GET OUT OF THESE CHAINS, I'LL—
.
.
.
Joshua Renalia staggered back. His breath hitched. A memory he had repressed slammed him. His heart felt like sputtering out. Tears suddenly burst from his eyes.
For a moment, he felt his connection to Lorem and Ipsum—his connection to the other dragons in the park—flicker. He clamped down on it and forced his emotions out before his true form could be revealed. Blood spurted from his nose.
Ipsum, chucking his ice cream cone into his maw, took off his spectacles and rubbed his eyes. "Wow… what was that… I felt a little dizzy all of a sudden."
"Corey? Everything okay? You seemed a bit… fuzzy back there." Lorem let out a panicked yelp. "Oh no! Your nose is bleeding!"
Joshua pinched his nose and lifted his face, swallowing all the excess blood. "I'm sorry, I… I have to go." Luckily, there was a public restroom nearby. He could use that. "I'll, I'll come look for you guys tonight after work, okay? It will be very nice to sleep on a mattress for once."
Vaguely hearing Lorem yelling at him to meet at Uncle Megun's later that afternoon, the human maintained his sprint to the restroom. He felt his control slipping by the second, emotions of shock—betrayal—profound sadness—returning to him in waves. He lost his grip at the very second he shut the door and locked it.
Joshua balled up his cloak and screamed into it, biting the fabric. He clutched it so tightly that it began to fray. No amount of self-control could stop the man from weeping. He let everything out and sobbed, not giving a damn about any of the concerned whines and growls coming from the random people entering and exiting the public toilet.
"Leave me alone," he would shout. "Please, just leave me alone!"
...
...
...
Joshua came out thirty minutes later, forlorn. His eyes were lifeless. At the very least, the human had regained the mental strength and the emotional stability required to resume his perception masking.
If Katsuharu noticed or learned about it from the passersby, he said nothing. He only mentioned how a "Minister Emera" had just dropped by and purchased all his remaining inventory for the day. She sounded really important from the way he was raving. A fellow connoisseur of the finer things in life, the old dragon called her. Joshua would have asked about Emera if he hadn't been feeling dead inside.
The ice cream vendor was truly grateful for everything and, in a show of incredible generosity, rewarded Joshua with 20% of earnings after setting aside payments for the costs of production. He hoped to see the runner again in two or three days, once he's made another batch.
Joshua accepted the job. Katsuharu gleefully shoved the wads of bills into his hands. He was excited at the prospect of making money and having a loyal and resourceful assistant to spread the word of his precious craft.
The money settled heavily on his palms.
Yet to Joshua's heart, they were as light as air.
Insignificant.
Irrelevant.
Worthless.
Author's Notes:
No notes for this installment.
But... shit, I really need to stop procrastinating. -_-;
