Chapter 12: The Wait (Two of Them)
"Eos, you clearly aren't yourself. You are much too dreamy," Berylla remarked while brushing her sister's hair. They were both sitting on Eos's bed and getting ready to turn in.
"I was always dreamy when we were girls, Bear," Eos retorted.
"When we were girls, Eos! We all were dreamy. You're a woman now."
"We can all have our childish times, Bear, don't fret." Eos turned around to brush Berylla's hair.
Berylla leaned back into her little sister's hands. "Didn't you all used to call me 'Bear'?"
"I believe so."
"We used to come up with all sorts of nicknames for people, remember? Tanta Boffin was 'Tatty'."
"And Pansy was 'Boiling Pan' – "
"And Rosie Cotton was 'Resin' – "
"'Resin'?"
"Tree sap, remember?"
"Oh…"
They laughed for a while, then Berylla abruptly turned back to Eos. "What happened when Frodo Baggins was here?"
"Why should you ask?" replied Eos, trying not to blush.
"You've been acting odd ever since he came. Something happened while he was here."
"How do you know that I'm acting odd because of him?"
"I'm your sister, and I've known you since the day you came into the world screaming. Admit it."
"Just because you're my sister doesn't mean you know."
"Come on, Eos, tell me."
Eos shrugged.
"I didn't say shrug at me, I said tell me!"
There was a long pause and a deep intake of breath. "Promise you won't lash out at me?"
"Well… yes, I promise."
"All right. Frodo came to the smial, and I prepared luncheon. We worked on my divorce for a while, and we just happened to talk about what had happened to me and how I felt about it. I didn't want to talk about it anymore, and before I knew it I was in his lap, and we were kissing like mad beasts. I guess what happened next was partly my fault, but… we made love in here."
"WHAT!"
"I knew you would be that way."
"B-but – you – and him – you actually – ?"
Berylla stared at her sister. Eos looked back at her blankly. The older woman tried again. "You really let him in? You made love to him? Have you no shame? Have you ever thought of the consequences – what if he got you with child?"
"We considered the consequences, since I'm not divorced yet. But he does love me, Berylla, and I love him, so there was no shame in it."
"Hasn't our Ma told us enough times? Many men who get you with child will run away from you if they find out."
"I know Frodo wouldn't do that. He wouldn't. If he was that kind of man, he wouldn't have held out all those years I was married."
"I suppose so. But what's done is done, we can't help it now." Berylla held Eos's hand. "I suppose I can accept that you and Frodo Baggins are really having a love affair. But do keep your mouth shut around Ma and Celandine. Especially Pa, too. He's upset about this Bracegirdle business, but I don't think he would take this well."
"I was thinking the same thing too. I'll keep quiet. And if they ever ask about my odd behavior, give them an excuse, will you?"
That same moment, Frodo was tucking Crystal in. He was just pulling the blankets around her when a question popped up.
"Did you ever marry?"
"No, I never did."
"I thought everyone married when they grew up."
"Most of the time people do. But some, like my uncle Bilbo and I, prefer not to."
"Why?"
"It could be because one never finds another that he truly loves. Or it can be because one likes to be alone most of the time."
"Then why did Ma marry my Da? She didn't love him, right?"
"No, she didn't, but your grandparents wanted her to."
"Why?"
"They thought it was right. They loved your mother very much."
"Don't you love my Ma?"
Frodo laughed softly, but did not answer right away. "Yes, I do."
"Then why didn't you marry Ma?"
"Because your Da married her first, silly! You ask too many questions! You should go to sleep now, poppet." He kissed her and blew out the candle. As he closed the door behind him, he wondered, How does she know everything somehow?
When in his room, Frodo changed into his nightshirt and wished Eos was there to slide her gentle hands under it to reach him. He slid under the covers and wished Eos was waiting for him there. He lay his head on the down pillows and wished that his lover would lean over and give him the sweetest of kisses, while her bare skin slid across his. He blew out the candle, and wished her low, melodic voice would sound in his ear, telling him that everything would be alright, and that the shadows would not hurt him anymore.
"Romen, andúnê."
"What was that, Crystal?" Frodo had brought Crystal to his workplace for the day. She was perched on his lap while he pored over his work.
"But doesn't that mean, 'sunrise, sunset'?"
"It does, but how did you figure that out?"
"You told me that was what it meant in the elvish song you like to sing. See?" She got down from his lap and started singing it, clapping her hands to the rhythm.
"Romen, andúnê
Romen, andúnê
Lintime sira loar.
I tuilë khila lossë
Ar lanta laire
Mí cul lassi yávieva.
Romen, andúnê
Romen, andúnê
Melmet balë-y hyn rér!
Quantar a lalaith
Ar nainiër
An er ré tula
Ve tulmet Mithlond…"
"I forget the rest of it," Crystal said.
"Two verses is plenty for a little girl! I'm surprised you remembered beyond the chorus!" Frodo drew her close and kissed her. "One day I'll sing it all for you, but now Frodo has to work, alright? Good girl."
She sat in front of his desk and sucked on a sweet over a picture book. Frodo's heart lifted as he worked. It was so fulfilling to take care of a child. If only Eos could see her, see how bright she really was, and not be ashamed to see her. Why, the child was meant for great things beyond the Shire like him, even if she wasn't really his daughter! If only she was my child, and that would make us…perhaps I shouldn't say.
"What person in their right mind tears down so many trees?" Sam lamented to Frodo. The Cottons had finished supper, and the two of them were seated around the fireplace, smoking on their pipes. Sam had been making his rounds all day with Galadriel's gift of soil.
"I hate it, seeing trees all black and splintered and lying on their sides. They ought not to have been burned and cut just for fuel in Sharkey's foul huts!"
"Well, come spring and we need not fret," said Frodo in a voice he had picked up from foster-parenthood: soothing but at the same time eluding. "The Lady's gift will do for you in time."
"I know that voice," Sam grinned wryly. "I think you're just using it so that your mind can wonder at the same time."
"What?"
"Didn't you go to Eos's place two days ago to go over her divorce papers?"
"Yes, why?" Frodo's pulse was quickening its pace. Did Sam know about what he and Eos did?
"You've been strangely aloof since that evening. And I haven't seen you smile during your quiet times in a long time."
"So maybe it's a good sign. I need to spend more time with her."
"I do know you love her, Mr. Frodo…" Here Sam paused.
"I will not deny that I love Eos Took. So what? Why bring that evening up?"
"Because my hobbit instincts tell me that more than divorce plans came up then."
Frodo's scalp prickled. "What do you think happened?"
"I don't know, I thought you would tell your Sam." Sam's face was not greedy like the town gossipers' faces were when they heard interesting news, nor was it mocking, like a lad smirking at his little brother for kissing a girl for the first time. He simply fixed his eyes on Frodo, waiting for an answer.
"Er… I really was working on her divorce with her…" Sam nodded with understanding. "And I guess we just happened to talk about other things, like her family's condition after Sharkey came by, and her marriage. The next thing I knew, we were kissing and touching like mad, and… I would have stopped her if I hadn't been so aroused myself… we made love, in her bedroom." Frodo gulped.
Sam sat back in his chair, as if too incredulous to speak. At length, he spoke. "I would have thought as much before this Ring business came along. But, Mr. Frodo, I wouldn't have thought you would be so wanton after you've altered so much."
"Wanton is a harsh word." Frodo, who'd been waiting for the axe to fall, was surprised at the quietness of Sam's reaction.
"Maybe it is. But – I don't understand, what happened this time round?"
"I don't know, it just happened. My wounds have changed me, as you say, but there's a part of me that hasn't changed, Sam, and that is my love for Eos. My temerity may seem abrupt, but you must understand, dear Sam. I don't want to lose her again; I can't afford to lose her as I have in the past. It was always so easy for you and Rosie. You two were betrothed in your cradles; you grew up loving and playing with each other, and you are bound to marry each other sooner or later. During the Quest, she was always at home, waiting for you to come back, and you still remembered her clearly. Eos and I never were certain about our love until she was married, and our future has always been blowing in the wind. During our journey, as the Ring took hold of me, her face began to fade away, while I clutched feebly at the memory."
"Didn't you once say that you went on the Quest to forget about her?"
"That was what I had planned to do, initially. But before we found Gollum in Emyn Muil, I realized that her memory was all I had, and without it I was helpless. I loved her desperately, but there was nothing I could do."
"I do not doubt that you truly love her, Frodo. But leaping to next level so rashly bears consequences. What if you get her with child? There will be a burden on both of you, or you may end your relationship with her to avoid it."
"End my relationship with her! Why are you saying this to me? What makes you think I would ever try to do such a thing?" Frodo had leapt forward in his chair, staring at Sam wildly.
"I didn't say you would definitely leave her, I'm just reflecting on what has happened to other girls in the past. You will argue that Crystal is no trouble, and yes, she is good and obedient. But being Deputy Mayor and all, and the work you have, do you think another baby will help anything? Babies aren't as independent as little girls."
Frodo put his head in his hands. "O, Sam, I can't believe you are giving me advice instead of it being the other way round."
Sam took Frodo's hand, as he did many times in Mordor. "Only tryin' to do for you, Mr. Frodo. That's what I've done near all my life."
"You're a good friend, Sam." Frodo smiled at him. His expression became pensive again. "We'll see how things turn out. I'd rather not think about this right now. I don't want to spoil my meeting with her tomorrow."
