Disclaimer: (Running around in blue moons pajamas with her arms up, screaming at the top of her lungs) "Sesshy is mine, I tell you, mine!"
Sesshomaru unsheathes Tokijin and sticks it through her gut.
Says with a calm, cold tone: "No I'm not. INUYASHA isn't hers, either…"
----------------------------
"We're back!"
"And not a moment too soon!"
Ss pie looks oddly and says dryly: "What are you guys doing?"
Kagome and Inuyasha both have reporter clothes on.
"We're going to lead the audience through another one of those What goes on behind the scenes of INUYASHA series." Kagome says innocently.
"Yeah, I believe it's OUR turn, now" says Inuyasha (Ailee did it last time, remember?)
Ss pie lifts an eyebrow as she closes her eyes and veins pop on her forehead. "Didn't you guys READ the message at the bottom of the first chapter?"
(you can tell that she's pissed)
Kagome and Inuyasha go to the FANFICTION site and click the story.
… (They're reading)
…
…
…
… (Still reading)
…
…
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Our bad. Sorry, ss pie."
"That's okay. Now, let Sesshomaru in so that we can get on with the show."
(He's going to be the main character today)
Kagome and Inuyasha stare at each other.
Both eyes: Blink, blink (look kinda questionly- or rather yet, innocently…)
Now they are running at full speed away from ss pie.
Ss pie? 'What in the world is wrong with THOSE two?'
(Hears a muffled voice come from the closet)
Walks over and open door. "Sesshomaru!"
Starts to untie the demon lord and takes off the duck tape from his mouth.
"They put me in there, I tell you! The nerve of those two. They got so jealous just because I was this chapter's main character that they locked me in there! I swear, I'll-"
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Chapter two:Sesshomaru's bad luck at home
Sesshomaru: Growls. "Hey! I wasn't finished yet!"
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Chapter two:Sesshomaru's bad luck at home
Sesshomaru: Groans. "FINE. I get the picture..."
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Chapter two:Sesshomaru's bad luck at home
Day 1
Sesshomaru started walking towards the studios' exit. He had changed from his fluffy and armor cloths back into his professional working suit. (Jacket and everything).
"Goodbye, Lord Sesshomaru!" Rin waved happily as she came to her mother, who was there to pick her up.
"Bye Rin." 'sheesh. that girl never stops calling me "lord" even after the shooting for the episodes are done with...'
"Goodnight Kouga! Goodnight Naraku! Goodnight Kagura!...Goodnight, Sesshomaru!"
Sesshomaru looks down. "Goodnight to you too, Shippo."
Suddenly, as he was about to go out, Sesshomaru heard something crash to the floor. 'hm?'
He walks over to a fallen trashcan. (Sigh) 'How embarrasing...'
"Inuyasha, you never stop making a fool of yourself, do you?"
Inuyasha looks up from the pile of trash on the floor. He had something in his mouth.
"Hooohhhh. HHhhhwei Sessshhsoummmarrurrr. Ai waahaa juoshhhh luuukkkeeiih fhhuu-"
"If you took that thing from your mouth, maybe I could understand you, you idiot."
"Ohhh. wwwwiiiihh..." Inuyasha spit the thing into his hand. "I said, I was just looking for this box that we had used earlier in the show today. Myoga was supposed to be locked up in here by a demon but as soon as we stopped shooting, production forgot he was in there and threw him out by mistake."
"Mrehhejiijgee... Liiufheeethss...Kiihjjnnvbbrr..."
Sesshomaru and Inuyasha both stare at the now, jumping box.
"Huh? What is it, Myoga? Are you trying to say something?"
"...I think he wants to get out, Inuyasha." Sesshomaru still had his emotionless face on. 'Duh'
Myoga is let out. "WHY THOSE GOOD FO NOTHING PIECE OF ! THIS IS THE SIXTH TIME THIS HAPPENS TO ME! Sure, I reasoned with them (production crew) the first few times it happened, because they weren't used to such a little actor like me, but ITS BEEN FOUR YEARS SINCE THEN, MAN! IM CALLING MY LAWYERS THIS TIME! THEY CANT DO THIS TO ME, YOU KNOW! I HAVE A CONTRACT THAT CLEARLY STATES-"
"GOODNIGHT, Myoga, GOODNIGHT, Inuyasha." Sesshomaru started walking out the door.
"Goodnight Sesshomaru! Have a nice ride! ...now where was I?...oh yes...THOSE BASTARDS! WAIT TILL I..." Inuyasha whined at Sesshomaru hoping he would take him with him but it was no use. He sighed at his luck. 'I'm probably gonna stay here the whole night if I don't do something quick...
(A light bulb turns on)
"Hey! Naraku! Old buddy old pal..."
Time later...
Sesshomaru opened the front door to his apartment and locked it after him. He threw his car keys on the fishtank table and started walking towards the bathroom.
"Ahhh...Finally. Home sweet home..." 'Now, to take off my makeup...'
(Giggle)"There you are, big boy. You've been such a naughty, naughty boy, leaving me here all this time, waiting for you..."
Sesshomaru: 'What the?'
Sesshomaru walks to his room, turning on the lights, revealing Kagome in a sexy, waitress uniform, holding a strawberry in her mouth.
(She drops the strawberry) "Sessh...Sessh...Sesshomaru!. What are you doing here?"
(In his normal, emotionless tone and face) "What do you mean, 'what am I doing here'? This is my HOUSE, Kagome..."
"Your house? But... I thought this was Inuyasha's-"
"-He lives next door, remember?"
Kagome sweat drops. "Hehe. Sorry. I must have entered the wrong door, again..."
"So you have." (still emotionless, but a little irritated)
"Right...I guess I must be leaving now..."
Kagome grabs her -stuff- and starts to walk outside the apartment.
"Sorry about this, Sesshomaru...I PROMISE this will NEVER happen again."
Sesshomaru: SLAM! (the door, of course)
(sigh) 'One of these days I'll have to throw her out.'
'Say, just how DID she get IN, anyways..?'
Some time later...
Sesshomaru: (yawwwwwwwwn) 'Finally, some shut eye'
(Noises from next door: -creak-...-slam-... "You've been such a naughty, naughty, boy, Inuyasha..." "Ooooo...Kagome...fancy meeting you here..." ; )
(giggle) "Stop that! your tickling me!" "You cant escape from me now, sweet thang!"...)
(music)"WHATS IN YOUR HEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEAD, IN YOUR HEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEE--EEEE--EEEEEAD, SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMBIE, SOOOOOOOMBIE, SOOOOOOOOMBEE-EEEEEEE..."
Sesshomaru had turned on the radio full volume. "DAMN THOSE KIDS! DONT THEY KNOW WHEN'S THEIR CURFEW!"
Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy
Day 2
Sesshomaru comes home from shopping and leaves his groceries on the floor. He then throws his car keys on fishtank table and- 'damn it. They fell in the fishtank.'
He goes after the the keys with his claws when suddenly all the fishies start to 'float' on the water. Sesshomaru looks at them.
'Damn fish. WHY DOES EVERYTHING SEEM TO BE AS SCRAWNY AND HELPLESS AND USELESS AS THOSE HUMAN FOOLS! (sigh) My poison killed them again. I guess I'm gonna have to buy more fish tommorrow. (I should learn never to put my claws in there...)'
Woman's voice: "Mmm... Yummy"
(giggle)
Man's voice: "Sweet... and juicy..."
(giggle)
Same woman's voice: "Here. You have one now..."
Same man's voice: (giggle) "Mmm... tasty..."
Sesshomaru: 'What the...? (sniff) Oh no... not THEM again..."
Sesshomaru stomps into his room. "What the HECK ARE YOU GUYS DOING in here, huh!"
Inuyasha and Kagome look startled and drop a box of strawberries on the bed.
Inuyasha: "Huh- Sesshomaru? What are you doing here?"
"Inuyasha. It seems you have forgotten WHERE IT IS YOU LIVE!" (points toward the wall)
"Huh? Oh- oh my. (sweat drops and chuckles) Sorry. I got so carried away that I led Kagome into your room by mistake..."
"OUT. NOW!"
"Sheesh, alright..."
"AND NEXT TIME, REMEMBER I HAVE MOON SHEETS INSTEAD OF YOUR DOG BONES SHEETS.
"Ohhhh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... (feels bed) Huh. I'ts even comfier than mine, too"
Sesshomaru: (groul) Takes out Tokijin...
"Run, Kagome. RUN!"
Sesshomaru: SLAM! (the front door)
'I knew I shouldn't have bought a place so close to that no-good half breed...'
'- say...HOW IS IT THEY KEEP GOING INTO MY HOUSE IF I NEVER MADE COPIES OF THE KEYS IN THE FIRST PLACE!'
Dum dum DUM!
Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy
Day 3
Knock
Knock
Knock
Sesshomaru gets up from bed and looks at the alarm clock. 'Just who in tarnation could be knocking at mu door at 6:00 a.m.!'
He gets out of bed, scratching his moon pajamas and slips his feet into his blue slippers. (Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn)
He opens the door. Blink blink. "Rin? What are you doing here?"
(Giggles) "Good morning, Lord Sesshomaru! Nice weather we're having, huh?"
'Again with the "Lord" stuff...' Sesshomaru looks behind her. "So it is... -wait a second- Why ARE you here, anyways?"
"Mommy said I could play with you today" (big grin on her face)
Sesshomaru is now wide-eyed. "Huh? She said WHAT, now?"
"Ohhhh! Today is going to be SO MUCH FUN! Huh. Lord Sesshomaru?"
Rin had run between his legs and had already started unpacking her toys. Sesshomaru had followed her with his sight.
"Now Rin-"
""Look at this, Lord Sesshomaru! I made it especially for you!" She handed him a drawing of him and her holding hands with their feudal era clothes on.
Sesshomaru had taken it and as he looked at it, his little, itty-bitty soft side couldn't just kick her out of his apartment. ' She really likes me… Maybe too much. (sigh) ' He looked at her. She broke into the widest, biggest, sweetest face you could have ever seen.
'Why do I even bother?...'
"Alright, Rin. You can stay. But only for a littl-"
"Yeahhhhh! (giggles) Now we can have fun!"
(Tummy rumbles) Um, Lord Sesshomaru... Do you have any pancakes? I'm hungry..."
"Well, I don't have any made but, I have the mixture with the instructions on the box-"
"Yeahhhhh. Lord Sesshomaru's making pancakes!"
"Hey! Wait a sec- I didn't say I was..."
Hours later...
The house is a wreck, the kitchen is burned, and Rin just got a call from her mother.
Sesshomaru throws himself on his big, black couch.
'Boy Im beat'
"Hey, Lord Sesshomaru. Mommy just called. And guess what?"
"What, Rin?"
"She sayed I could stay over!" (big grin)
'God, help me...'
The real story behind what went on in Sesshomarus' babysitting Rin day will be told on a future chapter : )
(It was too long to put in this chapter)
Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy
Day 4
(sigh) 'Monday is soo rough on you...'
He goes into his apartment and gently puts car keys on fishtank table. He looks at Rin's choice of fish (they had gone to a pet store the day before). For some reason they were all either silver, pink, or blue...
"Hi hooooooooooooo"
"Hi hooooooooooo"
"Hi hooooooo--hi ho--hi hooooooo--hi ho--hi hoo..."
Sesshomaru blinks. 'Just what could it be this time?'
Many voices: "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go!" (Whistling) "Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho hi ho..."
Seven little men with little caps on start walking out from his bedroom door.
guy 1: "Hiya, feller! Have you seen prince charming around? We need him to wake up Snow White"
Sesshomaru blinks. "Prince charming? Snow White?"
guy 2: "Uh -huh. We layed her on that bed over there until prince charming came to give her the kiss of life."
…"Why would she need that?"
The little men looked in silence at the floor. "…she…is dead"
Sesshomaru blinked and had a moment to fully absorbe all this.
…
"YOU MEAN THERES A CORPSE ON MY LOVELY NEW SHEETS!"
Five seconds later...
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Run! Run away!"
All the neighbors came out to see what all the commotion was. Little men carrying a glass box that held a woman inside were falling down the steps.
"AND DONT YOU EVER COME BACK!"
Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy
Day 5
Sesshomaru gets home but this time he opens the door slowly...
'Hmf. Safe so far...'
(sniff)
growl. 'There's someone in my room again...'
His bedroom door was shut but he could see light coming from under it. He opens the door and sees that Ailee (see first chapter. You know, the love struck tour guide)
She had a long, simple but yet elegant soft yellow dress that went up to her knee. She was lying on his bed with her left arm sustaining her upright to the side and her long, brown hair was well done into curls. The room seemed perfumed, in a way…
(giggle) "Hiya, handsome"
Sesshomaru is stunned and wide-eyed.
"Ai-Ailee? What are you doing here?"
"Im waiting for you, silly"
Sesshgomaru blushed slighty. True, Sesshomaru sort of felt…how do you say… a little "attracted" (as much as he would towards anybody, anyway) to Ailee (you would too, if you were followed by the same person 24-7) (They sorta grow on you, you know?)
'She always did smell nice… -Hey. - Wait a sec...'
"Uh...Why are you looking at me that way? Huh? Sesshomaru? What are you doing!"
(Sesshomaru opens window)
Ailee: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Ailee starts to plunge to her death down the building ( Sesshy lives in a VERY high floor) when she then turns into a baloon-Shippo.
"Shippo! How many times have I told those guys at work how I hated to be joked on like that!"(he'd been tricked before…)
A very scared Shippo, from far away." They MAKE me do it, Sesshomaru. I-I have no choice."
"Grrrr. DAMN those lousy co-workers of mine..."
Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy
Day 6
Inuyasha, the next morning: "Good morning, Sesshomaru! Had a good time last night?" (Has a devious face on)
Sesshomaru was changing into his feudal era cloths on when he looks towards his actor room door.
"One of these days, Inuyasha, I just MIGHT forget that your my HALF BROTHER and go after you in your sleep."
"Boo hoo, Im scaaaaared" He said mockingly.
5…4…3…2…1…
/Sesshomaru. Stop chasing Inuyasha around the studio with your sword / (production)
Back at home...
guy1: "You just have to think of a happy thought and you can fly!"
girl : "You can fly?"
guy 1: "You can fly!"
guy 2: "We can fly?"
guy 3: "We can flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"
Sesshomaru burns the front door to his apartment open. He sees four kids, all flying about in their payamas. One had kinda long ears for a human and green cloths on and tights…
Peter Pan: "Oh no! It's Cap'n Hooke!"
Sesshomaru: "What the h--- are you doing here! …Hey, you (looks towards smallest kid) Stop throwing up that teddy bear like that or you'll hit my-"
(crash)
A lamp falls and breaks on the floor.
Silence.
Dead silence.
Veins start popping on Sesshomaru's head…
Peter Pan: Uhhhh… Off to Neverland!"
"Oh no you don't!" Sesshomary grabs his ankle. "You're not getting off that easily"
"Ahhh! Tink! Help me, Tink!"
A small, bugging light started to "hit" Sesshomaru.
Five minutes later...
Neighbors once again look outside the window to see what it was that was going on in a certain lord's house. They heard frases like:
"Stop it, NOW (growl)"
and "Arggggggggggghhhhhhhh. He's going to eat us, Peter!"
and "Hey, don't throw that-" (crash)
"Peter! Start breaking his stuff! Hitt em' where it hurts!"
"Nooooooooooooo! That's an antique!" (crash)
"Ok. THAT'S IT. I promised I'd stop messing around with little kids, but this has gone on LONG ENOUGH! And I bet you're with NARAKU!"
(window is opened. Out come four kids and a fairy flying out with increadible speed)
Sesshomaru holds the youngest kid's teddy bear, burning it with his poison claw.
"And stay out! Neverland, 'the place where no one ever grows up', my a—"
Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy
Day 27
Sesshomaru arrives at his apartment. 'Here we go, again...'
He had smelled someone's scent in his bedroom.
"Shippo. That won't WORK on me, anymore."
Ailee looks up from under the covers.
"But Sesshomaru. It really IS me." (cough)
(Turns red-cheeked) "So it is...Wh-why are you here again, Ailee?"
(He kinda likes the thought of it being her in his room this time, instead of wierd characters from other shows or his stupid brother and his stupid girlfriend.) (Oh! and Shippo, too. dont forget about Shippo...)
"I seem to have a cold, Sesshy. (sniff) I thought you might want to take care of your little Ailee-poo..."
Sesshomaru: (SIGH) 'Bummer. There goes the idea of-'
Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy
Day 4,362
Sesshomaru gets home in a war tank and hasn't taken off his armor and fluffy. He also wears a Rambo headband thingy on. He stands in front of the elevador, thinking whether or not if he should get to his' place.
Two hours later...
He has his Tokijin ready and is in an attack position.
(He starts talking to himself) 'Careful now, Sesshomaru... You dont want to grow gray hairs now, do you?...Although they wouldn't be noticed between the silver hair...'
He shakes his head. 'What am I thinking!'
He sighs and stands up correctly as he turns the doorknob.
"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
"Baaaaaa" "Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
"What the?"
A flock of sheep and a woman come out.
"Pardon me, sir. But I FINALLY found my sheep. Thank you soo much for keeping them safe in your apartment for me!"
"Keeping them safe in my apartment? I never did such a thing."
"Well, if you didn't do it, than who did?"
(Both look towards the computer screen)
dum dum DUM!
Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy
Disclaimer: I also do not own Snow White and the seven dwarfs, Peter Pan, Rambo, Little Bo Peep or the fishies from the pet store. I only own my imagination. So there.
Well, hope you liked it! It was really fun to write.
Sorry it wasn't out sooner. I had it a LONG time ago but it kept erasing on me and I'd have to redo it a LOT of times.
As I promised, a future chapter will have the whole "Sesshomaru babysits Rin" incident, so watch for it!
Rin: "Me and Lord Sesshomaru had soo much fun, didn't we Lord Sesshomaru?"
(Sesshomaru hides)
Hours later...
"Hey, ss pie, is she GONE yet?"
ss pie: "Yes, Sesshy, she is"
(Comes out from under the rug)
"Boy, no one saw you there, big fella..."
Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy Sesshy
Review! And tell me what type of stories you would want to hear about next (you know, themes and/or characters and such). Either that or I'll just keep posting the ones I have planned for.
Next time: The Halloween Party
See you soon!
Review!
