Disclaimer: Inuyasha…stop…is not…stop…mine…stop. (End of telegram. Stop)

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Chapter 7: Fox Fire

On a grassy set, the actors were doing a scene where Rin had been captured by Naraku (again) and Sesshomaru was on his way to save her (again). Rin struggled in Naraku's grasp while our faithful Inuyasha group was menacing him to let the girl go until the lord came.

"Let her go, Naraku!" screamed Kagome, pointing a finger at the half demon lord.

"Muahaha! You think that I, Naraku, would do such a pathetic and stupid thing like that? Never! Muahaha!" Naraku finished up his last laugh like as if in a sci-fi horror movie.

Rin tried to move. "Uh, help! Lord Sesshomaru!"

Inuyasha turned to Kagome and started whispering in her ear behind his hand, "Hey, Kagome, since when did Naraku start referring to himself in the third person?"

Kagome shrugged. "Yeah, I noticed that too. Maybe it was the script writer's idea?" Inuyasha shrugged.

"Cut, cut, cut!" The director signaled to the rest of the crew to get ready for their next shoot. Turning to Naraku, he said, "Naraku. Your line was 'Heh, heh, Try and stop me, you pathetic fools!', not that crap you just said. And what's with the freaky accent and laugh?" Turning back to his crew, he said again, "Alright, everybody! Let's take another shot at this and this time, please do it right, people! And…Action!"

Naraku sighed. But I just wanted to--"

"—And cut! Naraku! What have I always told you! Do as I say, or you're fired!" The director seemed a little pissed of now. "We've taken this scene more than six times now, for the love of Mike!" Suddenly a guy pouring coffee looked over at the director and asked him if he needed something. "I wasn't talking about you, Mike, I meant the other Mike, so mind your own business!" Just then one of the guys from the lighting called on the director, asking if he had called on him. "Damn it! I wasn't talking to you either, Mike. How hard is it to get good help these days! Have you people ever heard of that expression before!" Getting up from his director's chair, he started barking more orders. "…and somebody get me a donut! Pronto!"

The Inuyasha group sighed and some of them sat down on the floor of the set, seeing that their lunch break wouldn't happen any time soon. Rin, who had been in a slumped position all along dangling from Naraku's right hand, looked up at her co-actor and said, "I think you can put me down now, mister Naraku, sir."

Naraku looked down at her and, at seeing her cute little face, smirked evilly. "You're not going anywhere, girl."

Rin gasped. Naraku's usual evil and sinister voice had come back, and though he wasn't really bad whenever they weren't shooting, he could be pretty evil. His face now said it all. Rin knew she was being Rin-napped and for real this time. He'd done things like this before. Sometimes Naraku could be evil on and off set. Trying to get herself together, the little girl cried for help. "Ahh! Somebody, help me! The evil monkey's being mean to Rin again! Ahh! He's surely going to do something unspeakable to Rin this time, I swear!"

Rin's cute little language would make anyone think that she was much older than she really was. "Don't speak such fowl language, weak human!" Jaken was the first to react, since he was supposed to come into scene promptly after their last shot and was close by on stage. "Don't swear."

Kagome spoke up, worried. "Wait guys. I think this is serious! What if she's telling the truth!" The group heeded their companion's words since the situation was not one they hadn't encountered before and looked over to where Naraku and Rin were prepared for battle.

Naraku just smiled back at them in a weird, yet almost human way, and said, "Sike!" The guys sighed in relief, putting their weapons down, glad that it was all just a joke. Laughing at themselves, they started heading towards the snack table.

Rin, still a little nervous, laughed awkwardly. "Uh..heh heh…you really had me there, mister Naraku. I was scared. Now, will you please let me down? Pretty please? I'm still a little scared now."

Naraku bent down to face her and said, "Well, you should be…"

-------------------

"Yes! Everything's going as planned! The cast and crew are out of sight and have no clue to as our fiendish machinery! A hahahahahaha!" A squeaky little voice chimed in.The small creature was in a mafia suit with matching shiny shoes and hat. His eyes gleamed from behind his villainy black, eye mask.

Naraku had his back leaning from a wall and said while eyes closed, "Yes. Whatever you say. So when are we going to get our pay, Fox Fire?"

He replied, "Soon, very soon…"

-------------------

"Mmm… these are good!" Inuyasha took another mouthful of donuts.

Kagome grabbed another from the table. "Hey, you know what? Maybe we should, you know, keep an eye on Naraku for a while. Sometimes I believe that he would actually pull something on like that for real, ya know?" She bit off the pastry.

"Well," said Sango, "He is a little… awkward at times. But I don't think we have to worry while security's around."

Miroku took a sip from his cup. "Heh. You guys give this too much though. Why, when a man wants to kid around, he kids' around! Here, I'll show you…" The monk slipped a hand under Sango's behind. Sango shrieked, slapped him hard, and walked away.

Miroku rubbed his cheek and looked at Sango's back as she walked away and said, "Hey! I was only kidding! Didn't you get my example! Sango? Sango!" He started running after her.

Inuyasha sighed. "He'll never learn, will he?"

Kagome nodded. "Your right. Just like someone else I know who knows nothing about women…"

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"Kagura. I expect you did your part, eh, correct?" came the rusty, killed-a-thousand-with-my-bare-hands voice of the midget boss.

Kagura walked over to a door and opened it to reveal dozens of security guards muffled and tied up. "Yes, sir. All caught and counted for."

The boss laughed maniacally in a high-pitched way that made even Kanna cup her ears. "Yes! At long last, I shall become ruler of the world, hahaha!"

Naraku lifted a brow. "What's this kind of talk? Didn't you say you were some kind of mafia boss or something?"

Fox Fire ceased his laughing, straightened up, and replied in a deep, hair-raising voice, "Of course I am, fool. What's it tuh you? I'm de boss, see, and if you's got a problem with dat I'll tell Franky over here's to take care of you's, see?"

Kohaku, an unlucky lackey, side stepped over to Naraku and whispered, "Don't make him angry. I think he means it."

The little boss guy started his hideous evil laughing again. "Muahahahahaha! Power! The powerrrr!"

------------------

"…Hmmm… nope, no I can't say I have. Go fish."

"Oh darn it!" Jaken hissed at his bad luck and picked up a card. On the other side of the table, Hatchi was the happiest raccoon-dog in the world. He was winning.

"Jaken." The cold voice made any hairs on the back of the toad's back stand on end, for he knew it too well and most of the time the situation would get worse for the poor, slimy amphibian-freak.

Hatchi looked up and sweat dropped, while Jaken turned around and ever-so-slowly replied, "Y-yes, Lord Sesshomaru?"

Sesshomaru, still in his work outfit, looked down at him with his trademark emotionless-face. "What are you doing?"

"I…uh…" The toad started to sweat. Not trying to sound smart-ass, he said, "I-Im playing 'Go fish', milord."

Sesshomaru's face made a slight change of displeasure. "I can see that, Jaken. My question is, where is Rin?"

The toad jumped up. He'd forgotten all about her! Somewhere he knew there was a butcher just crazy about the idea of preparing frog-leg stew for the demon lord's next meal. Hatchi took this to be the perfect time to go somewhere and hide, so he did, leaving Jaken to fend for himself.

"R-Rin? Where is she, you ask? Well…I uh… you see…"

Sesshomaru got impatient and narrowed his eyes. "Well?"

After more fidgeting and an attempt to buy some time, the toad answered, "I…uh…d-don't know, milord." After that he tried to defend himself from any future beating by placing his small, frail arms covering his face.

Sesshomaru played in his mind over and over again all the times he'd wanted to kill the little nuisance off with his Tokijin than later revive him with Tenseiga and finish up by killing him again. Seeing that this would be the perfect excuse to prove his little 101- Ways-to–Calm-Down theory out, he placed a hand on Tokijin.

Just then, Ailee (Who I randomly picked to show up) came by coincidentally and stopped the demon lord in his tracks. "Sesshy! I haven't seen you in like, forever!"

Sesshomaru gulped hard, hoping it would have stayed that way and put his hand down, frantically searching the room for an exit. Seeing that the only one available was standing behind the eccentric fan girl, he tried to find a way around her. "So, Ailee…nice weather we're having, right?"

Ailee giggled. She just loved it when he referred to her by name. " Teehee! But you can't see the weather form here, silly!"

The lord mentally slapped himself. On to plan B, whatever that was.

"Say, and speaking of plans, Naraku's Rin-napped Rin again and is going to do something evil with this 'Fox Fire' guy. You should go and save her."

Sesshomaru was speechless (as if that were odd, for once) "You...what…how…when…what the…?"

Ailee noticed the cute rambling of surprise coming from her favorite Fluffy-kins and addressed him ever-so politely. "Well, I've been reading this fanfic on the internet all this time and found out about all that stuff. Here. You should try it." Ailee hands the dog demon the fanfic's script, and he started reading it out loud.

"Mua-ha-ha! You think that I, Naraku, would… Uh, help! Lord Sesshomaruuu…director says 'cut'…blah, blah, blah…everyone goes to the snack table…" He suddenly got a sweet tooth and licked his lips. "Ooh! Do they have the donuts with the creamy filling inside?" That last part was directed over to Ailee.

Ailee nodded, Sesshomaru smiled, and the girl reminded him about the task at hand before he'd forget and leave to grab a bite. Sesshomaru snapped back to reality, put on his emotionless mask again, and continued reading. "So then, where can I find this guy?"

"I don't know. The author hasn't said yet. Here, it even says so on page 6 of the fic's script, 'Sesshomaru asks, So then, where can I find this guy? and Ailee follows up by replying, Gee, I don't know, the author hasn't said yet."

A little confused as how the girl even got the script in the first place, he inquired, "So then what do I do now?"

Ailee thought for a minute. "I know! You can follow your nose, wherever it goes! To the flavors of fruit, wherever they gr--"

"--I'm in no mood for commercial jingles, human."

Ailee gulped but silently praised the appearance of his angel-like demeanor of stubbornness and thought again, forgetting about the toucan cereal. She spoke now in total seriousness. "Well then, just flip to the part in the script where it says you arrive to save Rin and go there."

The demon lord was surprised at her idea but nodded, since it seemed reasonable enough. He then started flipping the pages, but found that the rest of them leading to the end of the fic were all blank. "Uh…"

Ailee looked at the script from over his shoulder by jumping up and down. "Hm…Maybe the script's still in process and the author hasn't thought up of a hideout yet?"

Sesshomaru glared at her from the corner of his eyes a little angry. "You think?"

--------------------

"Heh. These fools have no idea that I, Fox Fire, have taken control! Muahahaha!" Again, the little freak's act of mafia boss had changed a little.

Kanna looked down at her mirror, thinking up of a way to deal with this nuisance. Silently, she started walking over to the midget. Kagura looked at Kanna for a second and held her back once she knew what she was up to. Shaking her head, she said, "Wait till Naraku gets a chance to double cross this guy, than you can sap his soul as many times as you want, ok?" Kanna held back a sigh and nodded creepily.

Fox Fire glared at them maliciously. "You think I don't know what your planning?" He took out a script from out of his back pocket and waved it at them. "I've got a copy of the author's fic and I know exactly what you two are planning! Always be prepared, I say. Muahahaha!"

Kagura lunged for the freak's neck but was held back by Kanna this time. "Grr. I won't follow orders from a little twerp!"

-------------------

"Alright, so Rin's held hostage and Sesshomaru's gone to save her?" Ailee nodded. Inuyasha continued, "So? What does that have to do with me?" This made him receive a bump on the head by Kagome.

"Come on, we've gotta save her!"

Sango agreed. "Yeah. I feel awful about not believing Rin when she needed our help."

Ailee jumped up excited. "Yeay! So you're all going?" The group nodded, all except for Inuyasha.

"What makes you think that I'm going with you?" At this Kagome took out her copy of this fanfic and showed Inuyasha the next scene. Inuyasha grabbed the thing and read out loud.

"Blah, blah, blah…and, uh… Inuyasha is stubborn…Kagome "sits" Inuyasha'..." He stopped mid-sentence. As soon as he realized what was coming to him he sweat dropped. " Uh…heh, heh…Okay, you've got me."

As the group was about to leave, Sango just noticed something. "Hey, wait a sec. Where do we go to now?" Everyone saw her point and not knowing themselves the answer to that question they all looked at Aileen, who found it a little difficult to breathe all of a sudden, since she couldn't even help Sesshomaru out, either, who had left to find by himself the secret hideout where Rin was taken to.

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"Muahahahaha!"

Naraku, who had gone back inside the 'secret hideout', talked to Kagura, who was still a little ways off from choking the Fox Fire guy. Damn screechy voice, he thought "This is getting tiresome. Maybe we should kill the little guy once and for all." Kagura agreed.

"I am the almighty Fox Fire! All who see me shall cower in my grace! All who hear my voice shall quiver with fear! All who touch me shall…Wait, that's a little awkward…Ahem…Fox Fire! All shall remember my name! Muahahahaha!" A very unsuspecting boss man with his back turned to his co-helpers was in his own little dream world when the other two bad guys were sneaking up on him, ready to pounce.

"Aha! Think you can pull something off like this, eh!" The two demons froze. The little man turned around to revealed a mini video game in his paws that he was playing and talking to. "Aha! You won't escape me now!" Still oblivious to the other two who where ganging up on him, the little guy surprised them with his next exclamation. Turning off his game station he screamed, "Alright! Now on to the rest of our plan, muahahahaha! Bring in the slave!"

Kanna, who was having a little 'fun' with their guest, put down her lighter and threw away the dynamite while sighing. Man, I almost had her there. She then entered the room holding a tied-up Rin in her hands which was kind of funny, since both where almost the same height and Kanna really hated Rin. No one was sure why, though. After that the hostage was sat in a chair and her mouth was taped.

Rin tried to say something, but her muffled voice wasn't any help. The boss man laughed. He also changed back into his mafia voice. "You see, my little rumpling, I am Fox Fire, and what I say is do, capeesh?" Rin stopped her jabbering and sat still. "..and what I is is a little…how should we say…not in a good mood, eh? You see, I've got a bone to pick with you's master, see? He owes me somethin', see?" Rin watched scared at the small fry walking from one end of the room to another, still unable to understand a word he'd said.

"This is duh deal. You see, you's and me, we can be buddies, Rin. All you's have to do is give me what I want. You's know what I want, don't yees?" Rin shook her head 'no' nervously. "Hm. Well, I guess there's a first time for everything. Hey, Franky!" The mafia boss signaled over to his tiny henchman with a remarkable reddish, fluffy tail slipping from under his coat. "I need to talk with yous, and your little friend…"

Suddenly the wall exploded, making everyone lose their composure and for a time there was chaos, with the whole room shaking and all. "Hey! Who did it? Who did this!" screamed the little booger, and after the debris and smoke was cleared, everyone could see that a big hole had been made through the wall and standing beside Rin in her chair was Sesshomaru, holding up his Tokijin sword with one nasty look in his eyes.

Rin screamed with excitement and relief, from behind the tape. "Maaah! Wool Essomau! Yu hav meh!"

Sesshomaru looked down at his little ward and nodded. "Of course, Rin."

"Sesshomaru… you've come to save that little brat, have you?" inquired rather valiantly the midget.

The demon lord showed a canine tooth. "Don't call her that."

"Well then, what should I call her…bait! Hahahaha!"

Kagura smirked. "Now that's an evil laugh"

"Where is he? Where is he!" Inuyasha came in through the hole in the wall with his Tetsusaiga out, followed by his trusty companions. Of course, Kagome had made him say that, but hey.

Sesshomaru looked back at his brother while freeing Rin from her ropes with one slash of his claw. "Inuyasha, I don't need your help."

Inuyasha scowled. "Feh! I didn't come here for you, I came here to help Rin!" In his mind he could still see Kagome's past menace so he had added that last comment to impress her.

Sesshomaru lifted a brow, and Rin ran into his leg after the ropes fell to the floor. "Oh lord Sesshomaru! You saved me!"

Everyone else in the room sweat dropped. "Uh..heh heh. So I guess she's saved…let's go, guys!" Inuyasha turned to leave as fast as he could before Kagome could make him do anything else. Too bad she caught him by his collar.

"You chicken! We still have to defeat the bad guy! Now come on!"

"Wait a minute! No one gets to my minions before passing through me!" the little guy's young, squeaky voice yelled.

Kagome blinked. "Hey… I know that voice…"

"Stop calling me your minion, you little runt!" cried Naraku.

Fox Fire jumped on a table and directed his insults toward the dog brothers, pointing a finger. "Hey! How did any of yous' get in here, anyway, you cat pooped hooligans!"

Rin spoke up, "It's not polite to point your finger at somebody…"

Inuyasha'as ear twitched and his face was priceless, "W-what did you call me! I mean, Sesshomaru, okay, but me!"

Sesshomaru ignored his stupid brother's comment and said, "Page 13 of the script."

Fox Fire flipped to page 13 in his copy of the script and read that the lord had found out about the secret hideout. "W-Wha! This can't be! B-but it was a secret! How could you find it!"

"Easy." The lord pointed with his sword to a sign that read, 'secret hideout' in flashing, neon colors on one of the doors leading to the room. Everyone fell back.

"B-but, but… How come I never knew of your intrusion! I had a copy of the script!"

"Tsk, tsk, "replied Sesshomaru, smirking. "Have you ever heard of a hard draft?" By then everyone who had a copy of the script, including Rin and Kilala, took it out and began to look through it and realized that in the tiny print on the bottom of the front page it read 'hard draft'.

"Damn, he's smart. That's why he's my Sesshy!" chimed in Ailee who appeared all of a sudden threw the whole in the wall and in a blink of an eye left.

Everyone else was left speechless. "Damn those small prints!" cried Inuyasha, who was in position to slash his copy in half. Kilala was eating Sango's and her's up and Miroku sent his to the nether world with an incantation. Kagome tried to purify hers with an arrow, but missed her target.

"Alright then, Sesshomaru. Just tell us how to kill this guy so we can finally get this thing over with!" Inuyasha was now pointing his sword at Fox Fire.

"No, no! Wait! I can explain!" cried out the midget boss, waving his hands frantically in front of him. "Please don't kill me!"

Sesshomaru wondered just who this guy really was and skipped to the 'credits' page and found out something very interesting…

Sesshomaru started to chuckle, which made everyone uncomfortable, since he rarely did that and when he did, it usually meant something evil was going to happen. "You won't believe who it is." Inuyasha's gang gathered around the youkai lord and huddled together, all very curious to who it was. Naraku and his minions decided to keep out from the kind group hug, but remained all-ears. Sesshomaru eyed his fellow actors and they got the message to back out a little.

Finally, he spoke up, "It's Shippo."

Dun dun dun!

Everyone in the room gasped except Sesshomaru and Rin. Fox Fire just started shaking, scared.

Sesshomaru noticed Rin not taken aback from the comment. "What?" she said, "I knew it was Shippo all along." This made everyone stare at her now. "What? You guys didn't see his tail too?"

Now Fox Fire turned around and shook his little fuzzy fox tail, apparently caught outside of his disguise's pants. "Oops. I missed that." The rest of the actors slapped their faces.

"Grr. You're going to pay for this, Shippo!" Inuyasha lunged toward the kitsune. Everyone else followed except for Kagura, Kanna, Rin and Sesshomaru. A rather large dusk ball emerged from there.

"Naraku is furious because he had blindly followed orders from a small child" said Kanna in her usual raspy, asthmatic voice.

Kagura nodded and sighed, "He should have seen that coming." She directed her attention to Sesshomaru now, smirking and eyeing him. "My, my. So I've finally caught you alone, have I?" Kagura hid her face behind her fan, blinking like crazy and speaking in her sexiest voice, which made Sesshomaru change his emotionless demeanor to an embarrassed one. At hearing Kagura's voice, Ailee reappeared through the whole in the wall, where she had gone out of just a few seconds ago.

Rin pulled on her lord's sleeve, which made him look down at her. "My lord? Is that mean, old lady hitting on you?" The Five were caught in an awkward silence, for Rin was obviously too smart for her own age. Kagura barked at her. Ailee just smirked. Leave it for Rin to defend her Sesshomaru.

"Who are you calling old, you little rug rat!" That's it. The witch had pulled a nerve.

Sesshomaru took out his Tokijin and stepped in front of Rin, all the while un strapping his left arm from hiding (used for shooting reasons) and using it to hold the sword with both hands. Ailee got pumped. "Ooo. You don't want to mess with Sesshomaru when he's using both of his hands, Kagura." Surely this was going to be good.

Kagura, unfazed by her opponent, directed her attention towards the nobody to her left, "What, you want a piece of me, wench?"

Ailee blinked. Had that momma's girl actually called her a bitc—

"Uh-uh, oh no you din't," said Ailee, waving her finger at her match. "Don't go there, girlfriend. Do not go there. You don't want tuh go there. Did you just talk about my momma?"

Kagura was now blinking confused at her, Sesshomaru was as still as a stone, and Rin was taking refuge behind his left leg, clung to him like lice on a dog. (Get it? Dog? Sesshy? Lice? Oh peewee.)

"I know you didn't just talk about my momma. No one talks about my momma like that. Mmm hm." Ailee did a freaky twist of her head and hand, lips perked outward.

Kagura blinked again. "I didn't talk about your 'momma'."

"Uh-huh. Oh yes you did, you talked about my momma!" Sesshomaru was now backing away slowly from the inevitable cat fight that was approximating and took Rin with him. Ailee flicked her head toward him.

"Sesshy, where do you think you're going?" Sesshomaru froze on the spot and didn't move as Ailee stretched her right hand out to him. "I'll be needing a sword, Sesshomaru; may I borrow yours?" A drop of sweat fell down Sesshomaru's cheek. Whenever that girl would address him in his full first name, she usually meant business. Not wanting to ask her what she was planning to do with it and knowing that even in her human body she could wield Tokijin since her demonic drive was now on, he handed it to her without a second's hesitation.

Ailee wielded the Tokijin and pointed it while holding it with both hands towards Kagura and scrunched her eyebrows, mad. "You'll pay for what you've done!"

Kagura let her fan down and put a hand on her waist. "What are you talking about? I've done nothing to you and for the last time, I didn't talk about you're mother, not mentioning that I don't even care how she's doing!"

Ailee rested the sword on her right shoulder and stared cockily at Kagura. "In the first place, Kagura, I know you didn't talk about my momma. I was just messing with you. Number two, little miss 'I am the wind' queen, it's momma, not mother. And number three? You messed with my Sesshy, and no one messes with my Sesshy! So prepare to die!" Ailee darted towards Kagura and Kagura dodged the blow, slashing out one of her own moves on her.

Damn this wanna-be! She's so the jealous type!

While the two fought for the right to hit on Sesshomaru, he and Rin took the time to make their escape through a back door.

"Grr…I'll slice you into pieces, you worthless human!"

"Not before I make you into the union dip, miss flirty pants!"

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And so, leaving the two girls on their own and after much debate, the rest of our friends arrived at the best punishment for the little fox after catching up to him in a tackle and strapping him down to a chair.

"No! Not that! Anything but that!" cried the one formally-none-as-Fox Fire, alone in a screening room with a big-screen t.v.—and no cable. The t.v. screen just showed fuzz.

"Nooo! The horror! The pure horrooor!"

Outside the door, and in the next room, Inuyasha played with the t.v.'s antennae cord and couldn't have a smugger face on. "To plug, or not to plug, that is the question."

Kagome crossed her arms. "Oh Inuyasha, your so mean to him."

Inuyasha, thinking it over and let a little down, stopped playing with the cord. Beside him, Sesshomaru lifted his right claw, emanating poison from it. "Either you go on with it, half breed, or I'll just have to go through you to do it myself." Obviously he was still pissed at the whole kidnapping-Rin thing. Inuyasha gulped a little.

Kagome let down her arms. "Aww, go for it! The little squirt deserves it!"

Inuyasha made a double take at her and, not wasting any time, grew a sly smirk and instantly plugged in the cable's cable to an outlet.

Inside the room, the t.v. started showing commercials and Shippo looked on with excitement, seeing that his friends had finally given in and had some pity on him. "Yeah! I knew you guys couldn't just let leave me here like this!"

Then, as if the Heavens themselves had heard his cute little reply, the channel changed to show an image of four alien-look-alike creatures; a tall, purple one with a purse, a green one, a yellow, and finally, a small, red one. And yes—they were all nude.

"Eh-oooooooooooo!"

"Eh-oooooooooooooooo!"

"Eh-ooooooooooooooo!"

"Ahh! No, not that! Anything but that!" screamed Shippo, as if being killed with a chain saw, slowly.

(ss pie: Now cue the music!)

"Tinky winky…Dipsy…La-la…Po. Teletubies, Teletubieees, say hell…o!"(Emphasis on h-e-l-l…)

"No! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Save me, I'm being attacked by stupid, naked wannabies! Get me outta here! I want my lawyer! Ah!"

Outside, the guys were drinking their coffee. "Ah. This is pure music to my ears…" Miroku blew into his cup to cool it a little.

"Haha…yeah, music." Suddenly everyone turned to look at Naraku who had brought in some popcorn to enjoy the torture show. Naraku just stared back, shrugged, and continued sipping his drink.

"Ahhhhhhhhh! Help me! H-E-L-P meee!"

"Hey, Kagura, pass me the sugar, won't you?"

"Certainly."

"Nooo! The bunnies are comin'! The bunnieees! Argh!" Yup. The staff and crew were finally happy that they could find a good excuse to make the pain-in-the- butt screechy-voiced kid get his just deserts. Heck, if they were lucky, he'd scream his voice box to death, too. "No! Nooo!"

Rin came in and overheard the t.v. She grinned from ear to ear. "Say! Is that what I think it is!" The guys looked at her very oddly. "It's Te-le-tu-bieees! I so love the Teletubies!"

Barely spitting out his drink, Sesshomaru issued Jaken to take her to another room and show her good t.v. "Watch some Rambo. That'll do her some good," he ordered.

Naraku plumped into a sofa and changed the channel. Everyone argued and Shippo praised him, until they saw what he was doing. The announcer came on. "And now, for our 24-hour special marathon…I give you, The I Love Lucy Show!"

The wierd music came on and Shippo started screaming again.

"Lucy! Look at what you've down now!"

"Whaaa!"

Shippo got into cardiac arrest after that.

"Good one, Nar," nodded Kagura. Naraku gave her a bad look. "What? Like you don't like it when I call you 'Nar' after a whole night of—" Naraku cupped her mouth and kept her from finishing the sentence. The guys looked at them, disgusted.

It was then that Kikyo made her last-minute appearance and walked over to tell Inuyasha something, but not before tripping over the cord, breaking her neck, and damaging the t.v. The guys got pissed, threw their popcorn on the floor, went home, and although Inuyasha tried to help her out he was held back by a jealous Kagome and soon after everyone forgot about both her and Shippo and for that reason they needed to go under emergency care. Kikyo for...uh…breaking her neck (duh) and Shippo 'cause he got depressed about staying in a very dark room for hours, unattended; although he did ramble non-stop for five whole days how he could see dead people while strapped in his white, looney gown in the freak's institution.

The end.

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(No kitsunes or clay pots were harmed in the making of this fic. Hopefully. And of course, I really didn't mean any of that…well, up until the Teletubie thing, anyways.)

Disclaimer: on Teletubies, Rambo, I Love Lucy and midget and mafia reputations that I, of course, know nothing about (so don't kill me) and everything else that's not mine. So this time I decided to do a randomy story. I always like those. They're so randomy and…awkward. Yeah for weirdness! …Yeah... I still need a lot of practice but this'll do for now.

Disclaimer 2: it was evuljenius's idea of Shippo letting his act slip and the truth that he is a 50-year old mob boss is reavealed. Sorry, but, Shippo's character kinda ended up being actually everything in between with nothing on the side but with a little bit of the you-know to top it all off, all at the same time instead of a mob boss. Clearly, if you just understood what I've just said, you deserve a kitsune plushie. (Too bad I don't have any to give away, though, heh heh…) I'm still thinking of adding other requests for the chapters concerning Sango and Miroku's relationship soon enough.

Read & Review! pwease!