Disclaimer: I. Inuyasha. Not. Own.
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Chapter 8: Lights Out!
It was like any other afternoon in the INUYASHA studios, except the lights had been out for minutes and it seemed it could stay that way for a very long time. The staff and crew were all but happy, mainly because this usually meant that their shooting would last hours more than they had intended it to be. They were behind enough as it is.
So take it to Miroku to devise a flawless plan to walk hundreds of feet to the nearest elevator, go down a couple of floors and walk hundreds of feet beyond that to reach the main power switch to save the day.
Problem was there wasn't electricity, main point it being the problem to begin with, so while he tripped, fell flat on his face, hit himself with falling objects or just bumped into hard-ass concrete and got bruised all over just to get into the elevator, it then took him pain-stabbing strength to open the thing, close it tight, and a mere push of the button to make it go 'down'.
"Ingenious, Miroku. Pure genius." Sango blinded Miroku by pointing the only flashlight they had at his face. "If I had known this was your plan to begin with, I would have never had come along with you," she continued bluntly.
"C-Could you get that thing out of my face, please?" Sango let the light face the floor. "Look, I'm sorry I got you into this mess, but Sango, dear…where's your sense of adventure?" He said that with one of his supposed 'luring' tones he always used around females.
The demon slayer pointed the light towards his face again, making him flinch. "Adventure? Adventure! Who in hell would call being trapped inside an elevator 'adventurous', Miroku! This is your fault, and you're going to get me out of here, now!" She stomped her foot for authority.
"Now, now, Sango. Don't do anything too hasty…And…c-could you please take that thing out of my face, huh?"
"Listen, you," she practically dug her face into his, only mere inches away from breathing on him. "You listen and you listen well. I'm tired, sweaty, and stuck inside an un-working tiny-spaced elevator here, along with the most ignorant, stupid, most disgusting man I would ever want to be with, even if he were the last man on the planet! So I suggest you either find us a way out of here, or you stay out of mine so I can find a way out myself!"
Miroku shivered under her glaring eyes. He'd take being blind under the flashlight's light any day. He laughed nervously, afraid for his dear life and lured the light away from his face again with his pointer finger very slowly as to keep the woman's intense stare on him less intimidating.
"You really mean it? Even if I were the last man on earth? I mean, you know, hypothetically speaking, if it were only me, Sesshomaru or Naraku—who would it be, baby?"
Sango growled and threw her light crashing down on the floor, making the small room go pitch dark. "You really can't take a hint, can you, monk! Was there ever a time you never thought about something perverted!"
By then a tiny drop of drool started dangling on said monk's lower lip which, to his own sake, could not be seen because of the fact that the only light available to them had been…uh…broken.
And when Sango had realized it, it was too late. Dropping to the floor to see if it could be fixed, she found herself with hundreds of tiny glass scattered all over the floor, and to her horror, the thought of being in a locked-tight, tiny room with no lighting whatsoever, accompanied by the most lecherous, perverted person she had ever known to exist had come to her mind like that.
"Sango, is something wrong?"
"Uh…no…no, it's all fine…fine…"
"But, I can hear your voice shivering. Are you cold, honey?"
Slap. "Don't touch me there, pervert!"
"But Sango! I was only trying to—"
Bonk. "I said, stop fondling me!"
By now Miroku's cheek was red, and his head throbbed. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't—" he sighed heavily. "Look, I'm sorry I got you into this mess, alright? I just wanted…."
"…you just wanted to save the day, yeah, yeah, I know."
"But you don't understand! I," by now a faint sniffling could be heard. "I wanted everyone to be able to see what a good--"
"--person you are? Boy, where have I heard that on before?" She rolled her eyes sarcastically.
"No, I meant to say that I wanted everyone to know what a good boyfriend you have. But alas, it was not meant to be…."
"Oh…Miroku I…I-I'm touched…" Slap. "Not like that, idiot!"
Miroku held on to yet another flushed check. "My beloved Sango...If only the world knew how much I cared for you…"
"Miroku, I believe that if you'd stop touching other women then the 'world' would be a happier place, already…"
"Sango? Your voice has lost its sweetness…" The monk still couldn't let off on the tender talk.
"And I'm telling you some one else here will lose something that's sweet to him if he doesn't stop talking crap and shut up!"
Silence. "Oh…oh my."
"What is it?"
"It is your beauty, which amazes me so, Sango."
"…What?" What crap was he talking about now!
"I…could never admit it before, my dear Sango, but…It is your wonderful anger and strength in containing this man's wild heart that I admire the most in you."
"…Do me a favor, will ya?"
"Hm? Yes? Anything for my love."
"…Hand me what's left of the flashlight, 'kay?"
Search. Scramble. "Uh...here it is. What do you need it for, Sango?" Bonk.
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So minutes went on by and the two swore they had even become so accustomed to the darkness that they could see each other's bodies just enough to avoid any uncomfortable ness on Sango's part. They had screamed and yelled for help, but none came. Miroku had tried just about everything, so when nothing seemed to help, he got up and felt his way to the floor buttons on the elevator wall and began playing around with them for a while.
Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.
"Miroku, stop it."
"Right." Silence.
…Ding! "Alright, that's it!"
"W-What are you doing, Sango! Sango? Sango!"
Punch. Crackle. Crash. Thump. Thump. Thump. Ding! Cough,cough.
"What did you do to it! You could have had us killed, Sango!" Miroku's voice was rather high-pitched for an average man's right about now.
"Miroku… I think we're in a closet…"
"…I think your right, Sango."
Slap. "If you were looking for the light switch, then that wasn't it!"
"Uh...heh heh…sorry…didn't mean to…that time…" Slap. "Hey! What did you--"
"In case you were thinking of doing anything else, pervert."
Sigh. "I guess we were just inside that fake card-board elevator we usually use to prank Shippo when we want him to be quiet for a while."
Sigh. "Yeah. Now I know how the poor guy feels… You think he'll ever find out we made him sit inside a cardboard for hours, thinking he locked himself inside the elevator all these years, Miroku?"
"…I won't tell him if you don't." Chuckle. "…Is that laughter, I presume?"
"Oh Miroku…sometimes you can be so evil…"
Chuckle. "…Well, I can show you how evil I can be--" Slap. "Ow."
"Forget about that. Let's just stay here and hope this humiliation that has been brought upon us is forgotten by the next Christmas party."
"Right."
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
"…So…How long do you think it's been? Minutes? Hours? Days, even?"
"I don't know. I mean, Kilala must be worried sick about me already…Do you think she's looking for me, Miroku?"
"Of course she is, darling. Of course she is."
"…Miroku, you're lying."
"No I'm not!"
"Yes you are!"
"No I'm not! And thank Kami you don't have your Hirakotsu here or—Oops. I take that back."
Deep sigh. "Look, let's just find ways to entertain ourselves, alright? It might make time go faster."
"Seem faster."
"—What?"
"You mean, 'it might make time 'seem' faster'."
"…Miroku?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
"Right." Silence. "What now?"
"Um…How about 'Go Fish'?"
"…No cards, remember?"
"Oh yeah…"
"And there's the matter of no light to see the cards with, too."
"Right. Now, let's see… 'I Spy'?"
Sigh. "Sango..."
"Right, right. Um…" Shuffle. Swish. "Oh my gosh! Ew! Ew! Get it away from me!"
"What's wrong, Sango!"
Shuffle. Grab. Scream. Hit. Hit….Hit, hit, hit.
Hit.
"Sango! What's the matter Sango!"
"Oh my gosh, Miroku! I just felt this," Sango began to sob, "there was this...this...thing touching me and," her sobbing became full-hearted crying, "and it scared me, Miroku! Hold me! I'm scared!"
"Of course, of course. Here, come to me."
"Oh Miroku. I always do feel safe in your arms…"
"And I always love to hold you so, my love…"
"Uh…guys…can you play 'couple' somewhere else, please?"
Double gasp. "K-Kikyo! Is that you!"
"Yes, Sango, and by the thing your holding in you hand I'll have to say that you just hit me with a candelabra!" Her accusation grew in both speed and volume.
"W-What? That creepy undead-thing I felt was you?"
The priestess' eye twitched in the darkness. "Does everyone have to say it like that?"
"Lady Kikyo. Why—how—when—"
"How did you get in here, Kikyo?"
"Some idiot thought it would be funny to see if I could be used as fertilizer and locked me in here for later use. Damn those Kikyo Haters for stirring up such ludicrous about me!"
Hit. Flop. Thud.
"…Miss Kikyo? Sango? What just happened?"
Hit. "I banged her on the head again with the candelabra. Why?"
"…S-Sango! You did what!"
"Who wants a creepy, zombie-thing like her around here, anyways? Besides, the last thing we need here is the smell of old scum in the room—besides you, anyway."
"Well, uh…" Hit. Hit, hit, hit. "Sango. Will you please stop hitting lady Kikyo with that thing?"
Hit. "…Why?"
"Well, because…" Hit, hit. "Gee, I don't know! Isn't that just cruel, unlawful punishment for an outcast? A god-forsaken child not of this world? Hasn't she suffered enough?"
"…You want some of this too, don't you?"
"Uh...N-No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine." Hit. "So, uh," hit, "c-can I have a try?"
Hit. "…Sure, why not?"
Hit. "Oh, this is kind of…fun," Miroku giggled. Hit. Hit.
"Isn't it? Beats having to kill you for getting me here in the first place."
Hit. "—What!"
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Disclaimer: The idea for the random Kikyo bashing with a candelabra and Sango and Miroku being locked inside a closet was Sangonesan's idea, so check out her review for more details.
Alright. So this was…crazy. But hey, I had fun bashing Kikyo's head with the candelabra; didn't you? I know that was my favorite part. (squeal) No offense to Kikyo lovers out there. Just trying to help Sangonesanhere with a story. Sorry for the wait.
Read and Review.
