Between Love and Hate

Disclaimer: As you already know, i do not own Gundam Wing.

A/N - Hey guys, sorry this chapter is longer than the others,but i just couldn't leave any of it out, and i had to get the end bit in lol. Anyways, any EY readers, i am truly sorry, but i'm just having some difficulties with that story at the minute, hopefully they will be overcome soon. (Hmm i am soooooooooo tired... zzzz)

miroku-has-darkness: Thanks for the review!

Faerex: Yep he is a jerk, lol, but i can't gve anything away yet, although, you will get your wish. Thanks for the review!

RayxJade: Lol nope, sorry, no can do. Duo and Hilde should play a big part, i love them two... watch what happens in this chappie! I love your story btw, just havent got round to finishing it yet, sorry! but i will soon, damn these exams! Anyways thanks for the review!

edhel-tarien: Thanks for the review, its a great confidence booster, i have a habit of making people dislike my fics as you may have seen in the reviews for this lol. Anyway yeah Matthew's a jerk, but he's gone... for now!

sonia: Thank you very much for the lovely review! Lol, but pairings won't be revealed til the end lol, hope you all aren't disappointed.

whimsy007: Trowa isn't there all of the time in this fic, and yes he does see somethings, but... this chapter may explain it...

Charliechaz: Hey, thanks for the review, you're the best! lol AND i totally agree with you about the whole characterisation thing.

burgandy3721: Nah it's no problem lol, well done you updated rogue... hehe. But as for Nikki.. we'll have to see how things go. Thanks for the review!

jen: Hey, thanks very much for the review, well here's the nest chapter (smiles)

Rin Amaru: Ahh, really? Please point them out to me, i do normally re-read them before posting, but sometimes i just miss things out, or like today, there might be a lot cause i'm like... well tired! Thanks for the review!

Chapter four: Waking up

Relena dashed outside, wallowing in the pleasant fresh air that she was currently drowning her lungs in. It felt like she was waking up from an endless waltz of nightmares and it was surprisingly exhilarating. She exhaled her held breath, feeling an emotion that was half joy and half dread wash over her. She couldn't wait to see her friends again, it had been so long since she had seen most of them, however, she was dreading the fact that since Quatre had stated in his letter that he was inviting them all back, Heero was going to be there.

She honestly didn't know what to expect from him, it had been a long three years and mixed emotions were emerging from within her at the mere thought of meeting him again.

She ran swiftly up to the dark sports car that was waiting for her in her driveway, she glanced towards the windows, but since they were tinted, she was not able to see the driver through them.

Opening the passenger door, she lowered herself into the car and threw her bags in the backseat. She could feel the glare of her driver upon her and she raised her eyes to meet his gaze.

Trowa glared at her, his emerald eyes glittering with a mix of annoyance and perhaps regret.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He growled. Relena scowled back at him. 'I didn't expect him to be so cold.' She thought.

"Trowa, I didn't tell anybody, in fact you're the first to know. Look, I don't want to talk about this, can you just drive us to the Winner Mansion?"

Trowa however, didn't move and Relena could still feel his eyes trying to pierce through her barriers.

"I asked you…" He started, "I asked you to be honest with me and I asked you to tell me what was going on in the house. I knew there was something going on when he banned me from setting foot in there." His voice was rising as he grew angrier, but his anger was not channelled towards her, but towards Matthew. This was the first time that Relena had witnessed Trowa showing his true emotions, and it was, in her mind, a rare event.

"You denied that anything was going on… and I knew it wasn't true, but I never pushed you to tell me because you would always shut down on me when I asked. God dammit Relena, why?" He was now turned so that his whole body was facing her, Relena's eyes drifted down to stare at her own hands, she couldn't bear the pained look that was painted across his face, it was all too much for her, to see the once expressionless man glaring at her with such confusion and distress.

"Trowa… I've been through a lot and I don't want to-" Relena started, but surprisingly, Trowa, who now seemed to be losing his patience with her, interrupted.

"I could have prevented this, and you know it. Why didn't you just tell me? Why did you just keep suffering in the dark? I could have prevented this!"

"No you couldn't have Trowa! Matthew's a powerful man." Relena rebounded, her anger also beginning to increase. Trowa scoffed.

"How long Relena? How long had it been going on?" He wanted to know. There was a silence for a few minutes whilst Relena fidgeted with her hands, nervously. "Since you stopped going out, am I right?"

Relena nodded silently, watching Trowa from her peripheral vision. 'He's disgusted; I knew I shouldn't have told him. I wonder what he's thinking now." She sighed deeply and Trowa put his keys back into the engine, starting the car.

"You weren't the only one suffering Relena, all of your friends have been suffering because you've been down all the time. I just wish you could have told me." He stepped on the accelerator and the car sped out of the driveway, Relena grabbed her seatbelt and pulled it round her waist, she had forgotten how all of the pilots had always had a craving for speed.

"I thought you at least trusted me that much." He told her, glancing towards her a few times, but mainly keeping his eyes on the road.

"Trowa… I do trust you. I just… don't trust Matthew. There was no point in getting you involved in the situation too."

"Yes there was Relena; don't you see that what he was doing was against the law? That man needs to be locked up." He paused, "And you seem to have forgotten who I used to be before the wars ended." He pulled the car into gear, adjusting the stick a few times. "Do you really think that a man like Matthew could really do any damage to me?"

"No- Yes- I don't know Trowa. I just didn't want to drag you down with me, it wouldn't have been fair."

"Oh what? And its fair keeping me in the dark is it?"

'I never remember Trowa talking so much, he's so worked up.' She thought.

Relena turned away from his scrutinizing gaze and looked out of the window.

"I already told you that I don't want to talk about this okay?" She told him quietly, but sternly.

"Relena…" Trowa growled, aggravated by her stubbornness. "We need to talk about this."

"No we don't. Look if you want to do something for me, just keep driving and get me to Quatre's."

"We can go further." Trowa stated, his voice was once again calm, and when Relena glanced up to his face, she noticed that it was back to its expressionless mask.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I don't think this is as far away from him as you'd look to be and I'd be happier if you were further away from him. I need to make sure you're going to be safe."

"Trowa, I hardly think that he will be able to do anything to me at the Winner's mansion, and after all, aren't all the ex gundam pilots going to be boarding there?" A trace of a smile made its way across Trowa's lips. "I don't think that I could be in a safer place."

"Okay then." Trowa stated, swerving his car into the driveway of the Winner Mansion.

As they pulled up in front of the house, Trowa put the handbrake on and stepped out of his car, walking to the other side to allow Relena to step out. He held his hand out for her and she accepted it after she had lifted her bags from the back. Trowa politely took the bags from her and swung them over his shoulder.

Relena shivered as she remembered why she was here and whom she was running from, and as if sensing her fears, Trowa slipped his hand into hers and gave it a tight squeeze for reassurance.

Relena smiled, she knew what that had been for, he was telling her, in one gentle squeeze, that from now on, everything was going to be okay and he was going to be there for her.

'Never again,' Relena thought, 'will I keep a secret from Trowa.'

"Lena!" Hilde's squeal tugged Relena from her musings and she looked up to see her best friend, charging down the steps of the mansion and bounding straight towards her and Trowa. Relena glanced behind her to see Duo walking down the steps, wearing his trademark grin and his long chestnut braid swinging behind him.

"Oh my God! Lena, Duo and I were just heading out for a walk-," Hilde panted, in between gasps for breaths. "I didn't think you were coming." Relena stared at her curiously, it had been nearly a year now since she had had contact with her best friend, no thanks to Matthew, but she couldn't have gotten so unfit in that space of time.

Duo appeared behind Hilde, still grinning, he wrapped his arms around his wife and cuddled her gently. He noticed Relena's frown, and if possible, his grin became even wider.

Relena narrowed her eyes at him; she knew that mischievous look all too well.

"Hey Lena!" He said happily and then turned to look at Trowa. "Hey Trowa!"

Trowa nodded in return, a faint smile appearing on his lips.

"Hilde?" Relena asked her friend, who was still panting and out of breath. "Why are you so out of breath? You didn't have to run that far to get here."

"Oh?" Hilde looked up at her, confused, "You didn't get my emails?"

Relena grimaced; Matthew had banned her from using her email address and had put a block on the computers in the house to stop anyone from contacting her, or her from contacting anyone else.

"No. My computer's broken." Relena lied, feeling somewhat guilty, Trowa turned to look at her, sending her his 'knowing' look, obviously this time he could see right through her rather pathetic attempt for a lie. However, Hilde bought it as she nodded in acknowledgement.

"Oh right well-" A large grin, made its way across her face and Relena couldn't help but notice that it looked very similar to one of Duo's. "Umm… how do I say this…?" She looked towards the sky, thinking for a second; Duo in the meanwhile, planted a kiss on her neck. "Duo!" Hilde moaned and shrugged her shoulders to remove his lips from her collarbone.

"Just tell them babe, or else I will." Duo told her.

"Okay, well, Relena…" Relena frowned, she could feel the anticipation building up inside of her, "…I'm PREGNANT!"

Relena's jaw dropped as she stared at her best friend, and then down to the barely noticeable bump that had replaced her usually toned and flat stomach.

"OH MY GOD!" She squealed and pulled Hilde into a tight but rather gentle embrace.

Trowa smiled, this was the first time that he had seen her so happy in what had seemed like a very long time.

"Congratulations!" He told Duo, his face breaking out into a true smile, Duo just grinned back at him.

"Thanks man." His eyebrows furrowed as he looked as though he was pondering, "Do you know whether Heero's coming?"

Trowa shook his head and glanced somewhat nervously back to Relena who had tensed in Hilde's arms. She pulled back, and smiled insincerely at them.

"Well shall we go inside?" She asked Trowa. Trowa nodded and once again lifted Relena's bags.

"I'll talk to you later, Hilde." Relena told her friend, whilst giving her another hug.

"Ok, Lena!" Hilde said, and grabbing her husband's hand, they set off in the opposite direction from the mansion.

Trowa and Relena strolled leisurely up the stairs to the Winner Mansion and were about to open the main entrance doors when they were pulled open by Zechs.

"Sister!" He greeted her and pulled her into a brotherly embrace, Relena frowned, he hadn't done this in a very long time.

"Why, Relena, I didn't know you were coming." Noin greeted her from behind Zechs.

"Oh, if it isn't my favourite sister-in-law." Relena told her, stepping into her embrace. Noin chuckled.

"You mean… you're only sister in law." Noin glanced behind Relena, "Hello Trowa, how are you."

"Good thanks," he told her quickly as Relena stepped away from Noin to look at him, "Yourself?"

"I'm great." Noin told him kindly. "Why don't you two come inside? We'll find Quatre and find out which rooms you are both allocated. I would show you, but this place is huge, I've only been here two days and I've been lost numerous times."

Zechs stepped out of the way, to let the pair in, and then sauntered off, to let his wife and sister find Quatre. Relena frowned after him, noting his peculiar behaviour.

"What's up with him? He's acting so strange." Relena asked Noin.

"Oh, Zechs? Well, he's been acting weird ever since he found out that Heero had accepted the invitation to come here." Trowa winced involuntarily, and turned around to face Relena who had frozen on the spot.

"Relena?" Noin questioned, also turning around to stare at the stationary girl.

"Huh?" Relena asked, snapping out of her stupor. 'Oh my god, he is coming.'

"Relena? Trowa?" Quatre emerged from a room to the left of the corridor. "I didn't think that you two were coming, but I am so glad you came. Relena, maybe you could talk to Dorothy, something's bothering her and she won't tell me what, every time I ask her what's wrong, she gets into a strop with me." Quatre pulled a frustrated hand through his platinum blonde hair and turned to smile at Trowa, his closest friend, who nodded in return.

"I will talk to her, don't worry." Relena glanced around, "Where is she any-"

"Quatre?" A deep masculine voice called throughout the corridors. That voice made Relena's blood run cold and her heart speed up rapidly in her chest until it was thumping against the side of her ribcage.

Relena spun around, only to have her thoughts confirmed.

She watched the young man with dark unruly brown hair and piercing prussian blue eyes stride up the corridor towards them.

'Heero…'


"I want you to hate me as much as I loved you" – Jux Czar

Wayhey! Heero is BACK! lol... yeah... i didn't expand on much on this chapter because i was just clearing a few things up that i hadn't put in.

But yeah... next chapter should be a better one lol.

Please review!

Love ya'll

Allura