Between Love and Hate

Chapter sixteen: The Truth Behind the Lies

"Shit, look at this goddamned mess."

A numb sensation swept over her body as she stepped through the automatic, glassy, double-doors; her eyes widened, dramatically, at the sight that was portrayed before her and she absently gasped, clasping a hand across her mouth in the process.

"How could they do something like this?"

A stale, heavy and repulsive stench of death, reached her nostrils and she choked on her breath at the intensity.

"How long have you been here?"

She felt so empty and devoid of feeling as her light blue eyes roamed across the room, taking in the barely recognizable faces of the people that she had only just met. She shuddered.

They hadn't deserved a fate like this. No one did.

"Not long," another voice joined the conversation, in the distance, "Zechs and Noin dropped us off, not too long ago, and as soon as we entered and found this; I contacted Quatre."

Not caring to find out who was talking, Relena sidestepped the guard's burly and unconscious corpse and made her way round to the side of the room.

The receptionist lay in front of her desk, her body twisted in a way that Relena imagined to be extremely painful and a pool of dark blood spilling, carelessly, around her head from open wounds. Relena's stomach jerked, violently, as she observed the linear slice across the taught flesh of the girl's neck, maliciously tearing across her jugular; a smear of blood darkened her forehead where it rested on the ground and Relena fought down the strong urge to retch up her previous meals.

A cold, cutting wind blew ferociously through the open doors and rustled the drapes, twisting and turning the fabric in an almost haunting way.

"Heero?" The Spanish tone of the girl's voice, cut straight through her thoughts, tugging her, with a jolt, back to reality.

"Go away, Nicola," was the only, impassive, reply. The room grew still, as the tension between the members of the living, grew even more intense.

The room spun, dizzily. She tried to drown it all out again, hoping to hide from the present catastrophe in the cold, numb world that seemed so much more inviting than the one she was trapped within now. It brought promises of easing her current pain, with a less emotional one of barrenness.

"But, honey-"

Her breaths were falling out of rhythm, coming now at irregular and infrequent intervals, yet at a fast, uncomfortable pace. Was this what they called hyperventilating?

"Nicola!" Heero's voice loudly rand out to her; it was devoid of emotion – like her – and back to its regular uncaring, unfeeling, emotionless drone. "Leave. Now!"

Sorrow suddenly ripped through her chest as her eyes fell upon a young boy, barely older than six, vibrant blonde curls hanging limply around a pallid face, which was so out of place amongst his other lively features. It was so sad, fearful, but most of all … lifeless, his bright, blue eyes, held tremendous terror as they stared up at her in shock. She swallowed, hard.

Wrenching her eyes away from the painfully powerful sight, Relena stared at the Spanish girl, with a hollow gaze. The girl was shook by Heero's sudden, rash anger, the expression was clearly painted upon her face and yet she was not attempting, at all, to hide the wounded appearance. Instead, she followed Heero's orders and ran from the room, swiftly.

The unbearable smell of blood was overpowering. It was jarring her senses and impeding her breaths. The excitement from earlier had been malevolently ripped from her chest, and the empty hollow feeling that now occupied that space was excruciating.

Closing her eyes, she realised that her mind was now burned with the anguished images, each body … each corpse was scarred so deeply into her memory that she knew she would have recurring nightmares for weeks to come.

The sudden contact, as a warm hand grasped, almost protectively, around her upper arm, snapped her from her reveries and Relena started, spinning around quickly to stare at the person who dared to intrude her thoughts.

"Come on," the masculine voice was reassuring; however it did nothing to ease her pain. Relena stared up into the comforting, dark pools of emerald and shook her head gently. "Relena, I'm serious. I have to get you out of here; this is just … too much."

"I can handle it," she choked out, causing Trowa to raise a questioning eyebrow.

"No," he stated, "You can't. Nobody can. Look at Heero, he's losing self-control, and for a robot like him, that's definitely something."

Relena eventually forced herself to glance at the brooding brunette, who was shaking his head, regretfully, as he studied the surroundings. She then cast a furtive glance at the three men behind him. Quatre was frantically throwing demands into his cell phone, whilst ruffling his hair, nervously. Duo and Wufei were in the far corner of the room, both looking extremely agitated and distressed; Duo's arms were thrown, obstinately, across his chest, as he argued heatedly with a stubborn Wufei.

Relena swallowed, before turning back to her tall bodyguard.

"Now let's get you out of here, the other girl's have already gone to their rooms."

Relena allowed Trowa's hand to slip under her arm, and let him guide her to her room. The journey there, although short, was tense and awkward; the friction between the pair, so dense, that Relena felt that she was being slowly suffocated.

As soon as they were outside her room, Relena stared, blandly at the three-digit number, carved elegantly into the thick, heavy wood. 'Two-oh-three' it reading gold, elegant script.

Unsure of whether she could handle any more of the awkwardness, and feeling as though she would rather be alone, Relena sent Trowa a short smile before sighing deeply.

"I think… I'd rather go in alone, if you don't mind."

Trowa returned her smile, a little more enthusiastically, with his own crooked one, as he studied her with powerful emerald orbs, causing her to shuffle uncomfortably under his watch.

"I understand," he replied with a curt nod, after a short while. He slipped his curved index finger under her chin, and as her head tilted skywards, Relena closed her eyes slowly.

His strong lips grazed against her forehead as he wrapped an arm around her waist. Relena, feeling, at once, comforted by his warmth and tenderness, slipped easily into his embrace, pressing her head firmly against his strong chest and breathing in deeply, relishing in the enticing scent of his cologne.

"Call me if you need me," He told her as he pulled away, "I'm just two doors down, that way," he gestured, with his strong hands, down the hall, and Relena nodded, understandingly.

A soon as he had disappeared, Relena crept quietly into her room, feeling the need to not disturb the serene silence that fell upon her at entrance.

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Heero, irritated by the thick, grating tension that filled the room, departed through the double doors. As he stood outside, reminiscing, he briefly remembered his attitude towards Nikki and grimaced, not sure of why he had acted that way towards her.

He cared about her. That was why he had sent her away; it had to be why. What other reasons were there?

He sighed. He shouldn't have been so harsh. His behaviour was, as Nicola would say, uncalled for. He had to stop acting so coldly towards others, he had to stop blocking everybody out in order to hide his own emotions. 'This,' he thought silently, 'was going to be his new year's resolution.'

A sudden movement in the far corner of his eye intruded his thoughts and caught his attention. Straining his ears, he listened carefully, taking in the light rustle of the trees with curious eyes, as something moved away from him.

Or someone.

He frowned, before looking back into the main entrance, the glassy doors depicting him the full view. The room was how he had left it; Quatre was pacing tensely up and down, through the room and Trowa was leaning against a back wall, looking as though he was listening intently to his best friend's frantic ramblings. Finally, Duo and Wufei, still captured in their animated argument, were at the back of the room; Duo flailing his arms around, irritated, as Wufei managed to remain cool and composed. He guessed that this was what was infuriating Duo so much.

Heero scowled slightly before spinning silently and dashing, stealthily, after their intruder, pushing his way, as quietly as he could, through the thick, dense plant life that surrounded the building.

At last, it looked as though he was going to be given his chance, for revenge.

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Relena lay on her bed, amidst the darkness, trying to sleep away the events of the day. She stirred and shifted, eventually ending up on her back, staring into the pitch of black above her. For some strange, unknown reason, she had a sudden urge to turn on a light, a lamp, anything that would shed light into the world of darkness around her.

Releasing a sigh, she shifted slightly again, before becoming still.

That's when she felt someone's presence in the room. Blinking against the darkness, she tried to gain focus, but the darkness was suffocating her… blinding her, and whoever was in the room was concealed in the abyss before her.

Breathing deeply and more irrationally, she suddenly pushed the covers off her body and switched on the lamp beside her. As the light spread throughout the small corner of the room, Relena realized that she was, in fact, very much alone.

Lying back down again, she clung to the covers with damp palms and closed her eyes, trying to shake off the feeling of being watched.

The trees outside her room rustled, their twigs and branches scratching eerily against the window pane and the wind howled gently as it tried to gain entrance to the room.

She shuddered, and after a while, finally realized that she wasn't going to sleep.

Sighing, Relena draped her long legs off the edge of the bed, and dressed quickly. She left her room after locking it and swiftly made her way to the back of the hall, where she had earlier spotted a fire escape.

Reaching the heavy door, she pushed on the bar, allowing the door to glide freely open on its hinges.

The wind caught her breath as she stepped out into the open. The dull lighting, emerging from the open moon above and the infrequent lights from other rooms, only partly lessened the blackness of the night.

Her feet were cold against the harsh wind and the cold metal, spiral staircase, which wound to the ground, granting her easy departure, as she stepped out. The metal creaked, unceremoniously underneath her weight, and Relena unknowingly held her breath as she made her way down, until her feet brushed with the light soil as she reached the ground level.

She heard the rustling first and then guiding her eyes towards the point of her attention, she saw it. The tremble of the leaves as they swayed, pushed by a much stronger force than the wind.

Diverting her eyes to the ground, she then noticed the strange yet familiar shape; there were footprints scarring the ground and directed into the forest. Relena breathed heavily, at the angle that the prints of the shoe had been imprinted into the soil, Relena realized that the offender must have been sprinting. Most likely to escape.

Without much thought, Relena torpidly moved towards the dense trees of the forest, and pushing a few branches out of her way, she picked up her pace, following the intruder.

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The radio was blaring loudly in her ears, its volume almost deafening and vibrating greatly against her eardrums, and yet, she couldn't hear it.

Her foot was hard-pressed onto the accelerator as she dared herself to go faster. She could feel her leg trembling with her tensed nerves, but still, her foot remained wedged on the pedal and the car unceasingly gained speed.

Salty tears stung her reddened eyes before overflowing the rims and rapidly coursing down her tanned, chiselled face.

She meandered around a corner, her hands twitching as they thrust the steering wheel to the left, causing the wheels to twist into the desirable direction. Reaching up with one hand to wipe at her damp eyes, she tried to remain focused on the road. The dark foliage at the sides, blurred hazily past her eyes, due to her immense velocity. However, she didn't care.

The moon ahead, vibrant amidst the vast black sky above, cast rippled, glowing rays onto the raucous sea below as wrathful waves crashed against the jagged rocks.

She needed to feel. She needed to feel the increasing excitement, which suppressed her thoughts and the intense exhilaration that plagued her mind, body and soul. Her heart was torn … broken, pumping obstinately in her chest. Each beat falling into an even more irregular pattern than the last. Her blood was chilled with fear, anxiety and apprehension. She didn't care.

The tears became fiercely frequent as her eyes captured the shadowy view in front of her. Her vision was obscured and hazy; impaired by her heart-rending emotions. The bright light shining from her headlights and onto the paved roads was scattered and futile to her rendered worthless eyesight. She was entirely numb. She was blocking out the pain in her body, and instead, she was left with a hollow emptiness, which consumed her body with a turgid restraint.

The car shook, threateningly, as it gunned another brusque bend, taking a hard left swerve. She swallowed. Her speed was too alarming, perilous … dangerous, it was mounting to the stage where she was nearly completely out of control. And she knew that she neededto slow down.

She raised a wavering foot from the accelerator, yet as she lifted it, the pedal remained fixed, unmoving from its position. Panic rose steadily within, no longer capable of drowning her emotions they rapidly flooded back to her, filling her with grief, clutching her chest tightly and painfully constricting her heart with a callous grasp.

Kicking the pedal, she clutched the steering wheel rigidly with white knuckles, and pleaded with the accelerator to move, yet still, it never bounced back up. She slammed her foot down, hard, on the brakes but her action remained useless, rendered by the fixed accelerator.

There was really nothing that she could do. She was out of control. Completely.

Her headlights flickered on and off before pulsing to a dim glow that was completely of no use to her. The bonnet of the car collided fiercely into something on the road, undoubtedly the edge of a higher cliff, and the car swerved closer to the edge, causing a startled shriek to be maliciously ripped from her throat.

She was blind. She could see nothing but the moon ahead, blinking through the dark clouds in an almost taunting way. Her terror was heightened and the car grew chillingly cold, the bitterness wrapping around her body with a pitiless embrace. She shuddered.

Continuously kicking at the acceleration pedal, she willed it to release, but after noticing that her actions were utterly ineffective, she slammed her foot against the breaks.

She was so focused on her attempts that she hadn't noticed the bright light, flickering on and off, from the front of her car. Casting nervous eyes out of the steamed window shield, she finally saw. Her headlights were beaming brightly, throwing the black road into a pool of light. However, what she saw triggered the wild pummelling in her chest as her heart hammered against her ribcage and her feral, frantic breaths as they raced rapidly from her mouth.

Attempting, hopelessly, to control the vehicle, she veered to the side, whilst aghast sobs escaped her frail lips.

The car took the corner at a dangerous yet miraculous speed, nevertheless as it turned, what lay ahead was no more pleasant.

Heero's face swayed before her as she drove her foot relentlessly and adamantly against the brakes. Her body was shaking violently as she recalled memories from the back of her mind.

---

"See…" She told him in between kisses, "What you would be missing, if I wasn't here." Heero pulled away from her, diving under the water, he grabbed her legs, and hearing her incoherent squeal he pushed her up onto the edge of the pool.

"Yes, a whole lot," He jumped up beside her, "and all of this." He added whilst kissing her lightly on the lips.

---

"I love you, Heero…" She pushed herself up to his body, running thin hands down his shirt, vigorously, as she awaited his reply.

Heero bowed down, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss before pulling away and smiling, ever so slightly, his breaths hot against her cheeks as he breathed deeply, "You know exactly how I feel about you." She smiled.

---

She didn't actually. Know, that is. He had never, once, told her how he felt; she had loved him, and she had thought that he loved her back. However, his actions as of lately were telling her different.

The angry screech of the silver BMW, as it swerved in the night, startled her from her thoughts and she quickly smeared the hot tears off her face. She was getting what she wanted… finally. Exhilaration. A tearing, cutting, fearful exhilaration, as the car hit the edge of the cliff.

She couldn't hinder the inevitable. That was an impossible feat. She couldn't prevent Heero from stealing her heart, she couldn't make him love her back and she couldn't impede the finality that lay just seconds ahead of her.

Her limbs trembled, her skin crawled and the car flew through thin air, gliding aimlessly to its downfall.

Nicola de Rivera inhaled profoundly as the car bent forward, tipping and portraying to her, her concluding fate.

The silver glinted beautifully, beneath the moon's glowing, iridescent rays, as it moved, silently, through the black night at a threateningly fatal speed. Nikki released her breath with a last piercing scream, which tore through the dark lands around her, as she fell to the murky, rocky waters below. To her death.

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It was pitch black. The only light from the moon was obscured by the thickness of the towering trees above, and the darkness was shrouding. Heero leapt agilely over the rustling bushes, his ears pricked with anticipation and listening carefully for the footsteps that he had been following for the past five minutes.

Silence.

'Damn.' He came to a stop, his hands falling to his knees as he bent over to catch his breath. How had he lost them? It wasn't possible. Not for him anyway.

He knew, by searching his surroundings that he was deep into the forest. The trees around him were dense and thick as he cast cautious eyes, scanning the area for signs … anything.

In milliseconds, Heero was up again, hunting the grounds, with sharp, incisive eyes, resembling a wolf pursuing his prey.

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The soil was cold and moist beneath her, as bare feet padded quickly along the ground, chasing, following and seeking.

The cool air was whipping her soft blonde locks across her face as she ran and her breaths were quickly falling out of pace as she gasped for air.

She pushed her speed, needing to catch up, and impelled her legs to move faster, but under the pressure and strain, they quickly buckled and Relena tumbled to her knees onto the muddy earth below. Her hands quickly tapered her fall, as she landed, under a shimmering patch of ghostly pale moonlight, bathing down on her, amidst the darkness of the forest, like a spotlight.

The natural silence enveloping her was suddenly interrupted as the careless crunch of heavy boots treaded across the leaf littered floors.

"Relena?"

She froze. Her body stiffened. Her blood chilling in her veins as the icy tone of the masculine voice swept a cold numbing sensation over her tensed body.

No, this was not happening. Not now.

Terror stricken eyes swept up, shakily, to stare at the daring blonde directly in front of her, as steely orbs glared at her in a mist of confusion and alarm.

"Matthew?" Relena choked, hoarsely, her fear grasping her larynx, impelling her voice; compressing her lungs, impeding her breaths and strangling her heart as it hammered heavily in her chest.

Then with a wave of horror, she had one final thought. 'He was back.'


'Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival.' – Hannah Arendt.

AN – Hey guys. Thanks for all the reviews. Not all the love in my world could describe how much that they mean to me. So yeah ... I'm back. I'm sooo sorry. This was meant to be up earlier, but then i came home from school, planning to post this and logged onto the computer to find that my internet had been cut off 'cause my dad wanted to change servers. So yeah. Sorry. Hope this chapter made up for the wait. If not ... well, i'll try harder.

Love yaz

Allura