Thank you reviewers! Here it is, what we've all been waiting for! The door creaked open to reveal—
Patrick: ISAS! Sorry I'm late, my little brother ate all the toothpaste in the house and—
Patrick! Do not interrupt me when I'm working on a cliffie! And besides, no one wants to know about your toothpaste obsessed little brother!
Patrick: Oh…well you don't own Naruto.
And you don't own a toothpaste company. Let's be thankful. On with the story! (Warning: This chapter is very random. May be hazardous to your health if you are allergic to stupidity.)
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The door slowly creaked open revealing…huge piles of gooey cheese all over Kakashi's living room. The worst part of it was little mice were skiing down them and squeaking with delight. "See the family of mice that lived in your kitchen was bored, so I made a ski resort out of cheese for them! Aren't they cute? Alexander jr.!" Nari ran over to a small mouse about to ski down the tallest mountain of cheese. "you are not allowed to ski the big slopes yet. You have to go on the small hills before you try something like that ok?" The tiny mouse squeaked in agreement as she set him down on a smaller mound of cheese.
"Where did—how did—why did—what in the name of shinigamilenne happened here?" Kakashi stuttered. "I told you," Nari chirped, "The mice in you kitchen were bored and—" "I meant the cheese! Where'd all this CHEESE come from?" "Hmm…" she fell deep into thought, something that didn't happen very often. "I don't know. Where'd we get all this cheese ISAS?" She looked up at the ceiling. A really amplified version of my voice replied, "I think I saved it from that cheese convention last week. When I heard that you needed it for such a good cause, I just couldn't turn it down." Kakashi was almost angry enough to, well, do something very bad to me. But instead he got all calm and creepy. "Nari, I want all this cheese gone…now…" he said in a painfully sweet tone. "Well I want a million bucks now and that's not gonna happen," the cheerful horror child said with a smile.
Kakashi was on the edge of busting out his kunai knife and murdering her on the spot. Really, he was. But something distracted him. Two little Kakashis, one dreesed in white with wings and a halo, the other dressed in red with a tail and horns appeared on his shoulders. "Don't do it Kakashi," the angel mini-Kakashi squeaked, "It's mean." "Do it! Do it!" screeched the devil mini-Kakashi, "Shut that stupid kid up for good!" "Uh, who are you?" the confused jounin asked. "I'm your under-nourished, under-used good side," chirped the angel. "And I'm your cool, Icha Icha-reading bad side," the devil said, "But mostly cool."
"Oh…so you're the guys who tell me whether the things I do are good are not. Where was my good side for all the years I was an ANBU anyway?" Kakashi asked. "What, I can't take a nice, long, relaxing in the vacation in the Bahamas without you becoming a conscienceless killing machine?" the angel asked in return. " Ok, subject change," the devil interrupted, "Don't you want to know why we're here?" "No, not really. I can make decisions on my own thank you," Kakashi said. "Oh…" the angel mumbled, "So Kakashi's Bad Side, wanna go get sushi?" "Sure." After two little puffs of smoke the mini-Kakashis were gone.
Meanwhile…
Sasuke was sulking in his room after his fight with Itachi. Their duel came to a magnificent end when Itachi poked Sasuke in the eye and he started to cry, saying that he cheated. His brother got away, AND his self-esteem could have practically dropped dead after people saw him crying. He was now more determined than ever to defeat Itachi. However, for the time being, he decided that he would take his anger out on someone else.
Meanwhile Meanwhile….
Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro were walking through Konoha's streets. Two of them looked bored while one of them kept throwing death glares at everyone. I think you can guess who's who. Anyways, all three were surprised to hear yelling and a crowd growing around the center of town, so all three ran over to see what was the matter. "I'm gonna kill you Nari! Then I'm gonna bury you, and then dig you up! And then clone you and then kill all your clones!" Three other people plowed through the crowd. Nari was being chased by Sasuke who was shouting threats at her. They were followed by Kakashi, who was chasing both of them so he wouldn't get in trouble. Nari ran up to Gaara and shook him yelling frantically, "Hide me!" With that she hid behind him and his siblings. Sasuke stopped running and looked around. "You can't hide from me for long!" he shouted, "For I am invincible!" Thunk! The Uchiha boy fell to the ground with a reasonable sized bump on his head. "Yeah, invincible," Kakashi said, holding up the frying pan he used to knock Sasuke out.
"Man, that Noneofyourbusiness is one mean guy," Nari said as she downed some more ramen. Kakashi and Nari were sitting at the ramen stand after Sasuke got taken away to therapy. Gaara and his siblings were still trying to recover from the shock the last five minutes had brought them. That's when Naruto walked over to the stand. "Hi Kakashi-sensei! Hi Nari! Hey! You like ramen too?" Nari smiled and nodded her head, her mouth too full of ramen to talk. She swallowed her food and shouted, "I bet I can eat more than you!" "You're on!" "Okay on one condition." What?" Naruto asked. "Kakashi pays!" "WHAT?"
Two hours later…
It was down to the last bowl for both Nari and Naruto. If either of them took one more bite, they would be deemed champion. A small crowd had formed around the stand, interested in the competition. "Must…eat…one…more…bite…" Naruto struggled to say, "If…I…can't…beat…this…I'll…never…become…hokage…" Nari was unnaturally quiet, for once in her life. She stared at the last bite of ramen in her bowl. Then, at the same time, the two passed out from overeating.
"Is she waking up?" "Looks like it." Nari woke up in the hospital. "Hey, could ya keep it down? I was just in the middle of a nice dream where I was walking down a warm tunnel with a magnificent light at the end." Someone came over to Nari and shook her violently, "Stay away from the light, kid! Away from the light!" "Calm down doctor, the patient has visitors." A nurse opened the door for Kakashi and the Third Hokage. " Hello Nari, how are you feeling?" the old man asked. "I'm fine, but I can't remember why I'm in a hospital," she replied cheerfully. "You ate three times your body mass in ramen," Kakashi sighed, seeing as he was the one to pay for it. "We haven't forgotten," the Third said glaring at him, "And Tsunade has something to say to you." "Oh crud." As if by cue, Tsunade burst in the door and yelled, "You incompetent idiot!' She grabbed Kakashi by the ear and yanked him out the door while he said, "Ow! Why the ear?"
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Wow. That was like, the most random collection of events I think I've ever written. Oh well. Next time I'm doing an early Christmas special. Muahaha, Muahahahaha! Trust me, this next one is actually going to make sense. And if you're wondering where the Shirley temples came in, I was drinking like 8 of them while writing this chapter and that's why it's so…whatever it is. Anyways, what will happen when the Third and Tsunade decide to make the ninjas of Konoha do a Christmas play? All I can give away is that I'm sorry to Cindy, cuz I'm sort of making fun of her play. Later.
