Savior Self

Kashyyyk part three.

Rated PG13

Disclaimer: Get this. I put PG131. Maaaaan.

Savior Self

Cortessa wished vaguely as she walked along that she had not left the others behind. Just fighting the beasts along the Great Walkway was tough for the rest of them; two extra blasters and even an insane Wookiee would be a welcomed help. Dozens of kinraths burst from their dens in the tree bark, or swung their way over on vines from nearby trees at the smell of fresh meat. Cortessa, subdued greatly since her bloodthirsty attack on Carth, hacked and slashed without much conviction, eyes blank and face expressionless. Her moves were not graceful nor did they hit their targets where they should have, and her targets ended up only stumbling when she whacked them with the flats of her blades. Bastila and Juhani, both colorful, humming blurs with their lightsabers, were beginning to sweat and pant. Juhani's ears were plastered to her skull; Bastila leaned against the railing whenever she could catch a break. And other than these three women, they were alone. There was no Carth; there was no Canderous. There was no Mission; there was no Zaalbar. Cortessa thought with a disheartening pang in her gut that she missed all of them.

What have you done?

They started forward again, stumbling over carcasses, only to be overwhelmed by even more beasts. Cortessa saw the nearest one and struck downwards; her blade cut its head in two. Poison burst forth from its opened stinger, spraying her fingers and burning like acid.

Cortessa screamed, staggering backwards and clutching her wrist, her face twisted with horror. Before her very eyes her skin was melting, turning red and green with blood and poison and pus… She shrieked in agony, finally losing her balance and falling to the ground. The stench of decay suffocated her – was it her skin or the dead bodies around her, or both? She retched, choking on vomit, tears, the stench, and her screams. The choking rendered her helpless, so she lay there convulsing and writhing in pain. She could feel the hot poison throbbing beneath her skin, feeding into her bloodstream and melting away everything it found. A kinrath rushed forward and pinned her, fixing it teeth around her neck before tearing. Hot blood burst forth, over her collar, over her face, over the ground around her. Cortessa bucked it off, now gargling pathetically, but Juhani and Bastila could not tend to her while fighting off waves of kinraths. Blood bubbled on her lips, pouring down her cheeks and chin. She saw the world throb red, then a dull grey.

Her head felt heavy. She wanted to lay it against the ground and have it sink into oblivion. But the wooden walkway was hard, so just lay there and waited for the pain to go away. Her hands felt like they were on fire, but she could not find the will to douse them. Her body felt much too large to move; she knew that wasn't right but somehow it was. The battle, the world around her looked foggy, pale… insignificant. It didn't matter anymore. The blood, the anguish, the people didn't matter anymore. She was completely composed, relaxed, for the first time since Carth. Except for the pain in her hands. Maybe she could do without that.

Her chest wasn't moving, was it? She stared at her body blankly, drunkenly. No. She felt like she should be breathing, but she wasn't. She didn't feel dizzy or lightheaded… she must be breathing. But she couldn't recall the last time she had inhaled, and she couldn't exhale; it never occurred to her to breathe in again. She just smiled, waiting for breath to come again, but it didn't, and she didn't care. It didn't hurt.

She lay back on the walkway and waited. Sure enough, darkness came to overwhelm her, and there was no more pain. There was no more chaos. There was no more Carth, no more kinraths, no more blood, no more poison. Only that gentle, soothing apathy, which she embraced until it pulled her down into darkness forever, for in apathy lies death.

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The End

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Author's Notes: This is what happens when I'm really bored. c",) I pull pranks. Go ahead and shoot me for this one.

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Cortessa woke slowly, immediately aware of the horrible, raw burning of her hands, which would not flex or move. Next, she felt the terrible pains in the rest of her body: her head, which felt swollen and heavy, and throbbed with every heartbeat, her arms, sore from swinging and cutting through kinraths with the flat of her blade rather than the razor edge, her stomach, where a kinrath had stood on her and tried to rip open her tender skin, and, of course, her neck, which was thickly bandaged, held in a brace, and also throbbed painfully with every breath and heartbeat. She lay there utterly still, eyes closed, and moaned softly. The sound came out raspy and faint, scratching ruthlessly at her throat, and she stopped with a halfhearted sob. Wet, hot tears stung at her eyes.

I am sorry, Master. I am sorry for my failure.

Apparently Bastila had sensed her awakening, for she and Juhani both came crashing into the room with a surprising urgency. The room itself was small, Cortessa noted, built entirely out of wood and wicker, except for the bed, which had been spun by some soft wool. The ceiling was very high, which, Cortessa thought, made up for the stench of decay.

The stench of decay. It smelled far too familiar. She retched and grimaced as her throat tightened in protest.

Juhani knelt at her side, pressing both hands on her shoulder with a motherly care, and gazing into her face. "Cortessa? Are you awake?"

Bastila knelt down beside Juhani, peering carefully into Cortessa's eyes. Cortessa opened her mouth, but could not speak. She swooned trying so instead she sent a message through the bond she and Bastila shared. She had neglected this bond since discovering it, but now, it seemed, she needed to use it.

So Bastila answered her questions aloud, so that Juhani may add input.

"You were incapacitated during the fighting," Bastila said. "You were poisoned by a more deadly kinrath. Normally, you would have just gotten an irritation and maybe some fever, but this kinrath was in season, and when kinraths are protecting or carrying young their poison is at least three times as toxic."

Juhani broke in. "Your hands will never again be the same," she said. "They will appear frail and you may not lift heavy objects… by heavy, I mean perhaps ninety pounds. At times your skin will ache or itch, but do not scratch it because it is also very thin and will tear."

"You are lucky you may use your hands at all," Bastila told Cortessa firmly.

Cortessa narrowed her eyes.

Bastila paused, considering her, before she continued. "After you were knocked out, you were attacked multiple times by kinraths. We tried our best to keep them off of you, but in the end we had to drag you back to the Ebon Hawk."

"Ah!" Juhani said.

"The ship was in terrible condition. The loading ramp had been torn from its place, the belongings inside were scattered about, as if there had been a struggle. Zaalbar, Carth, and Mission were gone." And, sensing Cortessa's incoming question, Bastila shook her head. "No, Canderous was not there. And no, Zaalbar had not done the damage. We found Wookiee blood in various places on the ship, but there was no sign of Zaalbar. We could feel impressions in the Force – his tribe had come to take him, and had taken Carth and Mission as well."

Cortessa's eyes flashed. Her friends were in trouble? Once she was able to use her hands again, she would use them to break the necks of every single tribe member.

"Do not be angered in haste, Cortessa," Juhani said quickly. "Your companions are unharmed."

"There was blood, moron," Cortessa rasped, even though it pained her.

Juhani pursed her lips. "From what I have heard, Zaalbar did that to himself."

"Like hell."

"Do not speak, you will hurt yourself," Bastila scolded.

Cortessa, now feeling very defiant, snarled, "Already… hurting…"

"Exactly. Silence."

"What… happened… where…?"

"We're getting there," Bastila replied stoutly. "Listen. After we discovered what had happened, we realized that you were still injured, and there were not enough supplies to care for you on our ship. So we brought you back through the Great Walkway."

"It was not easy," sighed Juhani sadly. "There were kinraths everywhere seeking a carcass to feed on. And they found us. We fought our way all the way to the gates of the Wookiee village."

"We begged for help. The Wookiee guards at first did not want us, even as we pleaded, told them what we were, what we stood for, what was wrong. And then we mentioned Carth… I can't remember how…" Bastila said vaguely, waving a hand.

"You lie!" Juhani gasped, staring at Bastila, who instantly blushed.

"What?" Cortessa croaked.

"We mentioned Carth as we spoke about you," Juhani said. "Bastila lied… she… she said that you and he were life-mates, put in terms for the Wookiees to understand. We said that Mission was your child, adopted because of… problems."

Cortessa groaned. You've got to be kidding me.

"The Wookiees could not leave a mother to die at the hands of kinraths, but still they needed persuading. We mentioned that we had a Wookiee companion named Zaalbar, and that was all they needed to hear. They took us in and put you in this village infirmary. The natural medicines and Force-related healings here are astounding…" Juhani broke off into a murmur. "The Wookiees are amazing people… you may be well in the next few days."

Cortessa's voice was failing again. She only managed to squeak out, "Speak?" before the pain was too great.

Bastila smiled and nodded. "That, too."

Cortessa asked her why she had lied about Carth. Bastila blushed and waved a hand, mumbling something about how certain details were unnecessary.

Cortessa asked her where Carth, Mission, and Zaalbar were. Bastila sighed, shaking her head.

"They are imprisoned in the Chieftain's quarters," Juhani mumbled. "Zaalbar had been locked in his own cage, shackled, and… judging by his behavior and the markings… he has been tortured. Mission and Carth are also locked in a cage, though they are together and not shackled. When we entered, Carth was holding her as a man will hold his child… and she was crying."

Cortessa's voice suddenly came back. "We have to help them!"

"Silence!" Juhani hissed, her ears snapping forward and the hair on her neck standing on end.

Bastila stepped in. "We will free our friends, do not worry. But we cannot now. The Chieftain says… he says that to get our friends back, we must perform several tasks for him…"

Cortessa ground her teeth before she rasped, "If… refuse…?"

Bastila sighed, lowering her lashes. "He will kill them."

And nothing else was said.

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In three week's time Cortessa was back on her feet, and, though she could talk for long periods now, her voice was still very soft and raspy, and it pained her to speak too loudly. She limped when she walked, and still wore a bandage tight around her middle. But she refused to let physical pain get the better of her; she swore to herself that she would help her friends whenever she could.

So, with Juhani and Bastila at either elbow, she hobbled to the Chieftain's quarters, her eyes determinedly fixed on the road ahead. Some of her old fire had returned to those icy eyes, a determination she had lost after her fight with Carth, and as she approached the door to the Chieftain's quarters, the guard did not hesitate to step aside. The guard himself was a gruff-looking Wookiee, with shoulders enormous even for his kind, grey with thin patches of hair, and his facial fur was beaded and braided. On his breast was burned the traditional mark for courage, strength, valor, and endurance. The skin was no longer pink here – it had healed over a long time ago. Juhani recognized this first and bowed to him; Bastila and Cortessa almost instantaneously followed suit. The Wookiee nodded, growling a low greeting.

"Step inside," he said. "But be aware that the Chieftain is guarded by hundreds. Perhaps not by the guards in the room, but by his tribe as well. So watch your tongue, human."

Cortessa paused, gazing up at him, before she barked in Shryiiwook, "Is it appropriate to speak the local dialect?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You'd better," he snarled. "Human ignorance here will be intolerable."

Cortessa's eyes flashed. "How do you expect us to know everything if you never open up?" she asked sharply.

He let out a guttural roar – soft, but a most definite warning. "I am not privileged to harm you, human, as you are a Sacred Mother, but do not test my patience."

Cortessa scowled, throwing Bastila a smoldering glance. Bastila smiled weakly and gently nudged her inside the doorway. The guard's wary eye followed them, and he grunted once they were through the door.

"Bow to the exalted one," he murmured after her. "Be sure to hold your tongue. Chuundar is not as forgiving or lenient as I am."

Cortessa stood up straighter as she walked, though it pained her greatly. She strode through a short hallway decorated with elaborate wicker paintings and baskets, lit with flaming torches and guarded on either end by two more surly-looking Wookiees. She reached the other side, stepped through, and froze.

The Chieftain's quarters were elaborate. Colorful orbs hung from the ceilings, giving off faint but warm light; the walls and floors were made of smooth, tightly-bound branches, polished to perfection; guards stood in pairs in the corners of the room ("Czerka guards!" Juhani gasped. "What in the world are they doing here?"); small, carefully-crafted shelves lined one wall, stacked with treasures and wicker baskets; and then, Cortessa saw with a sinking sensation in her gut, were three force cages.

One of the cages was empty except for a very old corpse that had almost completely rotted down to the bone. The middle one held Zaalbar, a foaming, moaning, quivering, hairy mass, rocking slowly back and forth with his hands and feet bound tight. Patches of dried blood made his fur appear darker in places.

Then Cortessa saw Carth. He looked worse than he ever had before in her presence. His face was pale and gaunt, his eyes shallow and blank, and his hair was nothing but a ratty mess. He hadn't shaven – his face looked a lot darker somehow. Mission was curled up in his arms, her cheek against his chest, eyes closed. Her lekku looked thin and pale, hanging limply from her head. She looked no better off than Carth.

Cortessa, without pausing to think, ran to them. Pain immediately seared up her legs and made her stomach clench, but she didn't stop until she reached them, where she collapsed to her knees and cried out.

Carth started, jolting Mission from her sleep. He stared for a moment, not believing his eyes, and then he reached out to try and touch her. The force shield gave a menacing crackle and he quickly drew his hand back, though his eyes were suddenly very bright.

"You came," he rasped, sounding not at all like himself. "We thought you wouldn't come. We were so worried… and when we heard what shape you were in when you arrived…"

Mission had begun to bawl, reaching out beseechingly to Cortessa, who sobbed dryly at the fact that it was only a shield separating her from her crew, her friends.

"Oh, Cortessa," Carth breathed, shaking his head as if he couldn't really grasp that she was there. He mumbled her name over and over, until Zaalbar stirred in his cell.

The Wookiee sat up, shook his mangy head, and looked around. Cortessa flashed him a wide, loving grin, and he roared at her in delight. "You have made it!" he bellowed. "You are now here and all is well! I was afraid I had betrayed my lifedebt!"

"You did nothing wrong, Zaalbar," Cortessa soothed.

"Corty!" Mission mewled.

Cortessa turned to her again and came as close to the cell as the force field would allow, feeling the soft currants of electricity tickle the skin on her face. "I missed you," she said. "I swear I'll get you out of here."

Carth opened his mouth, then slowly closed it, looking uneasy.

An icy voice cut through their excited chatter. It was amazing how cold and calculating the voice was, as it came in grating Shryiiwook. "Do not worry, human. You will have your time with your mate and pup… soon, but not now."

Cortessa's eyes snapped up and traveled for the first time to the front of the room. A great throne crafted out of wood stood there, with two smaller seats on either side. Wookiee guards sat in the smaller seats, and in the throne sat the Chieftain. He was tall and lean, with flowing silver fur that had been meticulously groomed, and sharp, almond-shaped amber eyes. Only a strand of hair against both temples was braided and beaded, left in a woven tassel at the ends. A harness had been wrapped around his shoulders and chest – this was also beautifully beaded. And on his breast was seared the insignia of royal tribal blood.

Cortessa paused a moment before she remembered that she must speak. She stumbled to her feet and bowed low. "Majesty," she growled in trembling Shryiiwook, recalling the rules she had been taught earlier that day. "Forgive my feeble human presence."

The Chieftain waved a hand in a bored way, signaling for her to be silent. "I care not for your tiring formalities today," he said lazily. He peered at her for a moment before he nodded. "I have never seen a human quite like you before. Tell me, are you a Jedi?"

"Yes, sir," Cortessa said, making sure to keep her head bowed.

"Look at me while I speak to you!" the Chieftain snapped, and then, swift as thought, his mood changed. "Ah, silly me. I forgot to introduce myself. Quite a leader indeed. I am Chuundar, Chieftain of this village."

Zaalbar rattled in his cage until he got close enough to the shield to be electrocuted into submission.

Cortessa swallowed the knot in her throat. "I am Cortessa, sir."

Chuundar snarled. "I know this. I am no fool. I summoned you here, not the other way around. Know your place!"

Cortessa shuddered. Bastila lay a comforting hand on her back by her shoulder. Juhani slipped her hand into Cortessa's and, while her ears lay flat against her skull, her eyes were wary and calculating.

Cortessa fixed her gaze above Chuundar's shoulder. "You summoned me for a quest, sir," she said monotonously.

Chuundar's lips peeled back from his teeth and he grinned a nasty grin. "Ah, yes," he murmured. "Let's talk about that."

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Author's Notes: Whee… That was fun. I have no idea what I had going in my head in the beginning, but I guess crap happens. Cortessa's neck is just a suffering thing. First a rakghoul rips it apart and now a kinrath. What next? A selkath? Probably. Who knows. ANYWAY. Stay tuned. Or something.

And again, I AM SO FRIGGEN SORRY THESE CHAPTERS ARE TAKING SO LONG. PLEASE don't lose faith in me. I swear I haven't given it up. I swear I swear I SWEAR. I just got this HUGE breakthrough with my novel and I've been busy with camp, but I promise I'm not through with KOTOR fanfiction, or this fic. I promise. I PROMISE.

FaintlyAlarming- Thanks for taking the time. XD

SarahBearX- I think I'll give someone the habit of calling him that. Everyone needs a nickname. Huh.

Dante-Raven- Hahaha. Candy to the Rescue!

Dark Lord Daishi- Wouldn't you get all flustered? I know I would.

Greatstar - I always figured Zaalbar was more unstable than he let on. It somehow got into his character and now it's who he is.

Child-of-the-Dawn- Now we're screwed.

Sandra Evans- Guess we'll have to wait and see...

Ilea Dreike- No Candy yet. :(

Lunatic Pandora1- I do so like cookies.

Amme Moto- I always like to twist people in stories into what you don't usually see. I'm sure when he got to his planet he was flipping out. I mean, he's so loytal to his vows, and now he's being dragged to the place he had been BANISHED from! Or maybe I just look too deeply into things.

Anarchy's Ashes- Carth is stupid to go up against WOOKIEES.

Queenofinsanity- We'll have to wait and see about Canderous. And as for Cortessa looking a bit better... Haha. Definitely not. I'm lulling you into a false sense of security. Watch out.