"What are you doing?" Carly asked bursting into the apartment later that morning. "I'm bored out of my mind." She finished flopping down onto the couch next to Liz.
"I was just sketching." Liz replied closing her sketch book and focusing on the blonde. "How are you feeling?"
"Better, I can't wait until the morning sickness goes away." Carly replied fidgeting nervously under the other woman's gaze. She hated this, lying to her. "I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. It'll be the first time I get to see the baby."
"Of course I'll go." Liz replied.
"Thanks." Carly replied smiling. "I was also wondering, if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight. Rick and Alexis will be there." Carly asked cautiously.
"I don't know." Liz began. "After what I said at the funeral, they probably think I'm nuts."
"Hey, it's ok. Rick understands. He's really a good guy." Carly replied.
"I guess I can come." Liz replied reluctantly. "Your not cooking are you?"
"I see my reputation preceded me." Carly laughed. "No, I'm ordering in. It's safe."
"Just checking." Liz replied.
"Ok, I'll see you at six, try and see if you can talk Jason into coming." Carly said walking out the door.
Liz sat after Carly left staring at her unopened sketch book. Something was up. Everyone was acting strangely. Carly seemed to be taking her husbands death a little to well. Liz scolded herself. She knew how much Carly loved her brother. Who was she to judge how other people grieved, it wasn't like she was the poster girl for normalcy. But, she knew something was up and she planned to find out just what it was. She thought determinedly as she returned to her sketching. At five she decided she should start getting ready. She quickly reviewed the small selection of clothing she'd brought with her. Deciding to dress casually in a pair of jeans and a deep red turtleneck sweater. Brushing her hair into soft waves and adding a touch of makeup she wondered why she cared so much. She felt badly about what she said to Rick, but that didn't make it any less true. He seemed nice enough, she would just go to dinner be nice and see where things went from there. She pulled a photo from the pocket of the pants she'd changed out of the edges where worn and the color fading. She looked at the smiling faces beaming up at her. Her mother, her brother and her. They looked so happy, but it was a lie, fake smiles that to anyone else seemed real. She ran her finger over their faces. You can do this she told herself slipping the picture into her pocket. She carried it everywhere like a security blanket. She could still picture it sitting on the mantle of their home. The day she left her mother had given it to her. She plastered that fake smile on her face and headed out the door.
"Great, you came." Carly said ushering her inside.
"I said I would." Liz replied. Turning to face the other guest.
"Hello." Rick greeted cautiously.
"Hi." Liz replied. "I'm sorry, about the other day."
"Don't worry about it." Rick said smiling.
"So, who's hungry." Carly asked breaking the tension. They all sat as Carly laid out the food in front of them. "Jason didn't want to come?"
"I don't know, I haven't seen him since this morning." Liz replied. Conversation seemed to fall after that, noone really knew what to say.
"So last I heard you were applying to grad school." Carly said passing a plate to Liz.
"I'm looking into it." Liz replied.
"I've seen some of your work, it's great." Rick commented.
"Thank you." Liz replied with a small smile. "What?" Liz asked uncomfortably as he stared.
"I'm sorry it's just, you look so much like our mother, I mean the pictures I've seen of her anyway. Except for." Rick began apologetically.
"Except for my eyes. Michael had her eyes." Liz finished for him. "I guess I get my blue eyes from Mike. Pretty much all I ever got from him."
"I just wish I could have met her." Rick replied wistfully. "I'm sorry to bring it up, I know it was hard for Sonny to talk about her."
"It's ok. I understand. What do you want to know?" Liz asked.
"Just, what was she like?" Rick asked.
"Michael acted like she was a saint, perfect. He tends to do that to the women in his life." Liz began. "I mean I loved my mother but, she had her faults, we all do. She was a wonderful cook, but she always burned the toast, no matter how hard she tried, it always burned." Liz began smiling. "She loved to dance, some days when we'd come home from school she'd push the couch against the wall and put on one of her records. She always smelled like fresh flowers, even in the middle of the winter. She had this infectious laugh, no matter how bad things were you couldn't help laughing along with her." They where interrupted by the door opening.
"Sorry, I tried to get here sooner." Jason said walking in.
"It's fine. Grab a plate." Carly replied from her seat. Jason nodded at Rick and Alexis giving Liz a small smile before sitting.
"I just don't understand." Rick began. "I mean why would she have married a man like Deke."
"It was complicated." Liz began cautiously. "I asked her the same thing once myself."
"What did she say?" Rick asked.
"Do you believe in soul mates?" She asked.
"I guess." Rick began confused. "So she thought he was her soul mate."
"No." Liz explained. "She used to tell me, you can't help who you fall in love with. There's someone out there for everyone, someone who may not seem to make sense, or even be the 'right' person for you. But, it doesn't matter, once you find them your theirs forever and no matter what happens anyone else would be settling. She loved Mike, god knows why but she did. And we all know how reliable he is. She knew he'd never settle down, She was young and alone with two kids to raise so she settled and married Deke. And when things went bad, she was stuck, you know the rest more or less."
"You really don't like Mike." Alexis commented.
"Mike and I, well that is an even more complicated story." Liz replied. "He made his choices now he has to live with them."
"You don't think a person can change?" Rick asked.
"They can't change the past." Liz replied sadly. Carly wisely changed the topic and they spent the rest of the evening discussing Rick and Alexis's practices and Carly's club.
