House of Lords
Andy's POV
Disclaimer, I don't own charmed, if I did, there would be more swear words and I'd kick out Aaron Spelling and I'd have a really hot new Source so it would be more interesting and I'd burn the scripts cause they are horrible, they really are. I mean, that's why I write, because they don't freaking do what I want them to do, and now the show is over and the didn't even bring Prue back, give me a break…anyway, enjoy.
Chapter 2
Barely myself
Do you know one of these days when you just don't know who you are? That's what is happening to me, I mean, I know it is pretty sad, I was supposed to be this hot shot and I am nothing, I am a little shit, a piece of white trash.
I know it's hard to admit but I am lame in that aspect of my life. I go around and pretend I am someone that is not me. I barely know myself anymore; I just can't figure me out.
The night was pretty dark, I mean, there wasn't a goddamn light in the whole campus, and I know I shouldn't be here after such a good game but I just don't feel like being anywhere else. I am at the only place where I can really be myself.
It was here, lying on the trunk of my car where I could really think and boy, let me tell you something; there was nothing better. The wind is getting pretty darn cold, so cold that my nose is all red and my face hurts, my knees hurt too but that's because of football. Football is the only thing I really like, is like…the last thing left of me.
Sometimes, when I am here lying on my car, I think about my mistakes. I wish I hadn't made so many mistakes…I wish I hadn't done so many things wrong…but if there is something I regret is Prue Halliwell.
She was smoking hot but that wasn't the most attractive thing about her. The most attractive things about here are those things that you can't see but you can feel. This dark halo of mystery around her, the sparkle in her eyes, her brokenness, her cold heart, her fear and at the same time her self confidence. Prue'd never tell you that she thought she was fat, she'd never tell you that something didn't fit her right, she just didn't care, you know what I mean? I remember this one time I saw her crying, only once, but it broke my heart and every time someone asks me about to picture something sad, I picture her and I feel like crying, I swear I feel like stop doing whatever I am doing and rush to hold her, but the truth is, I won't hold Prue ever again.
She broke my heart. That's all I am gonna say about her, she broke my heart in a million pieces. I don't know what I did wrong with her but she hasn't talked to me ever since. I tried to be charming, I tried to give her a perfect night and she got all mad and left me right there. I told you, she is cold and hard.
I couldn't stand the atmosphere of the school so I decided to drive off somewhere and have a drink so I'd take stuff out of my mind. I wasn't going to go home that weekend anyway so no one would notice if I was a little bit wasted. I got in my car and when I started it I realized I didn't have gas. I always forget to put gas.
Since I was stuck at the school I decided to go to my room and fall asleep until Monday morning, it wasn't such a bad plan, only that my roommate, Scott, was the dumbest guy alive. I wanted to room with Darryl, my old friend Darryl Morris but I got to the school one day late and there weren't many people left without a roommate. Only this Stuart nerd I really hated and Scott, at least Scott was somewhat popular—dumb—but popular.
The thing was, that I couldn't take old Prue out of my mind, she was the only person that saw the real me and not the person that everyone sees, the person I want them to se, maybe that was why she ran away, maybe I was an ass after all. Anyhow, I decided to go to her room and say something like, "Hey, what's up? Wanna go for coffee?" She wouldn't buy it but I had to try.
I tried to go to her room but I barely remembered where it was so I screwed up a couple of times after I actually found her room, which was empty.
I was just about to go back to my room when I heard something; a teacher. It didn't matter how much of a hot shot I was, I couldn't break the rules and being so late in the girls' dorms was one of the rules, so obviously I had to hide.
The steps were getting closer and closer and I started sweating like a pig, I wouldn't have minded to be found in some other girl's room, any room but Prue's, for two reasons, the first one, the whole school would laugh their heads off, the second one, Prue would chop mine off. Anyway, I decided to hide in the 'safest' place of the school; the bathroom. Boy, I was dumb.
I closed the door behind me and breathed as I heard the steps getting farther and farther away. I breathed again and stared at the bathroom, it was a total mess. It seemed like someone had been looking for something desperately without any kind of result. I can be rather stupid, so I decided to take a closer look.
Well guess what I found, inside the little cabinet where girls are supposed to put her tampons and creams and stuff like that, well, I found a bottle of vodka. I smirked to the idea of getting drunk right there, then I'd see Prue and my heart would tell her everything I couldn't figure out, and she would either break my legs or love me forever.
I looked for more interesting stuff but I couldn't find anything that called my attention so I just sat there and drank. I drank like the whole bottle all by myself, well not all but almost. I decided to stare at the bathtub just in case Prue was hiding in there, that's how drunk I was. I damn nearly fell in. I sat back again and started laughing like a mad man. The memories where seriously drowning me, misery. Man, I was miserable.
Do you know this thingy that you feel way down in your stomach when you are worried for something pretty big? I was worried about my future, about what my mother and father would say if I got caught. I was worried about my grades and not being able to go to college but mainly, I was worried about not being able to find myself. I was worried because I sensed that I was going to lose myself in all the misery and crap of my life. I know there were so many good things, but I didn't get anything out of them. Many people would say that being popular, a good student and a football player. Damn, I even played Baseball too, yeah; I was like the perfect athlete. God, I was so many things that I didn't even know.
That was me, a social chameleon.
All of the sudden, Prue opened the door but I was so drunk that I didn't even recognize her and yelled,
"You're hot!"
Then, I realized. I stared at her shaking and laughing. I must have looked really pathetic and all but I didn't care because she was there and that was all I needed, so I started shooting the crap;
"Where did I go wrong? Prue! Tell me, where did I go wrong? Was it because I wanted to f…"
"Shut up" She said with the coldest look that anyone has ever given me. Now I remember it, she was kind of out of herself. Her hair was all messed up and she wasn't wearing any make up and in her eyes, in her eyes there was this sparkle of pain that I had only seen once before. She stared at me with those eyes that hurt me so much that I broke into tears; someone could think it was the alcohol, but I know better, it was the sparkle of her eyes.
I thought she was going to hit me, I seriously thought she was going to hit me, but she didn't, instead, she went to the sink and wet some towels. Then, she put the smallest one on my forehead. "You're wasted"
"Don't you think I know, Prue darling?"
"Don't call me darling"
"Prue sweetie?"
"Stop it"
"Honey?"
"Knock it off Trudeau; I am not your lover or your friend. I don't even like you, so shut up or I'll kick you out"
B I was trying to confess her my feelings and she got all cranky about it. I tried to get up and leave but I felt right down and hit my head with the sink.
"Oh God!" Prue yelled. "Andy!"
This time there was no coldness in her voice but it was full of concern. She held me and helped me to get to her bed. It was a pretty awkward situation but I didn't care. I used to see Prue as the strongest person alive, now I know her game. She'd always come to save you even if she was the one that needed to be saved. She would never let you believe she was weak, even if she was. I tried to lie down but she didn't let me. "Sit up!" She said while she put two pillows behind my back. "You can't fall asleep"
"Why didja have a Vozzzka bottle in there huh, you drunken lady, you naughty lady"
She sighed, boy I was really getting on her nerves. Nevertheless, I went on;
"Why didja? Why didja? D'ya drink?"
"Be quiet" She said, she didn't say shut up. She said be quiet. She was being nice and I could see how she needed god and help to do it. I mean, be nice to me when I drink…that's a hard job.
"Itz the firsttss time I drink…I don't know why I didd it but I didd cause evegyone doez it and itz fun"
"No, it's not. Be still, you're bleeding"
"No, Imnot" I said being all stubborn. Then, she put the towel on my head so my wound would stop bleeding, it hurt as hell. I couldn't help but whine.
"You are a cry baby"
"ZutUp. Why can't I fall asleep? I wanna sleep"
The next thing that happened I don't know if I imagined it or it actually happened; Prue lay with me on her bed and made me lie down too, then she said, "You can't fall asleep, okay Andy. Promise you won't fall asleep"
"How could I?" I said, believe it or not, when she put her hand on my forehead she mad me feel better, at least, she cleared my head. She placed one thought in my mind; make her mine. I guess that's how it all started, or restarted.
I gazed at the amazing woman I had in front of my eyes and nothing, nothing made sense, although it was perfect. I felt horrible because it was the first time I drank, I didn't lie to her, I wouldn't. I don't know if it was the alcohol or what but when I started looking at her, her eyes, her mouth, her smooth hair as black as the night, and again, her blue eyes, never so sad, never so caring, it was weird but I could see a little girl inside Prue, a girl I wanted to protect, and love…god, I could only describe her with one word, Prue.
We didn't do anything she just stared at me like no one has stared at me before, she was singing some kind of song but I couldn't hear the words, I remember the rhythm of the song, it got me, it really did. I don't know what got into us that night but all of the sudden, her eyes started watering, just like mine were.
I sort of started stroking her hair while she placed her head on my chest. I felt like I belonged somewhere after all, I belonged to her. I totally belonged to that woman; I'd have done everything she asked me to do. I couldn't hear her crying but I knew she was, I could feel her tears, and somehow, they were stabbing my heart.
I thought about kissing her but I figured that our relationship wasn't too good so I decided not to. I decided to stay still and say nothing. Her body felt so good against mine, one of these warm bodies that you just have to lie down by. With Prue, I felt safe, I felt good.
"I'm sorry" I said, "For all I did, I am sorry"
"You are drunk" she said. She didn't believe me.
"I am" I laughed. "I am sorry for that too"
There I was, being al cocky again. Why couldn't I shut up for once? Why couldn't I be civilized for once?
"Prue, I am really sorry. I don't know what I did wrong but I am sorry" I don't know if I really meant it or I was too drunk.
"You are drunk Andy," She stood up.
"Where are you going?"
"I am going to get my boyfriend; he'll help me take you to your room"
"What?" I don't know what I liked less, the "boyfriend" part or the "my room" part. I hated them both. "Why can't I stay…I fine"
"You are drunk"
"Why do you keep saying I am drunk? I am not!" I yelled, I was getting really sore about Prue's boyfriend. I mean, imagining her being touched by another guy made me mad. "Fine, whatever, I am leaving, not that I want to be with you anyway"
I am a little shit.
She stared at me with coldness and then smirked. "Do you know what? I just had a second thought." She said and I got scared. That couldn't be good. She grabbed my arm and threw me out of the room.
"Are you just gonna leave me here?" I yelled through the door that was already closed. She closed to me again. However, that night I realized three things, the first one, I was an ass, the second one, I am barely myself when I am not with her, and three, I refuse to live one more day without Prue Halliwell. It was a war.
