All So Hidden
Author's Note: Finally the next chapter, I know I've been a bad author TT. But still I am happy that there are still readers out there reading and enjoying my story. And I made a special poem… I am not sure if it's good or not. Please tell me what you think.
Disclaimer: All the characters and places are extreme property of the anime entitled Inuyasha. Only the plot and the whole endeavor of this story is my own logical product.
Unconquerable Soul
When things get twisted and up turned down, people are in the world of anxiety trapped by the devil of misfortunes. The thing is that it can get worse in the resolution…
The outside world beyond the hospital seemed so peaceful and calm like nothing ever happened. People were hurrying along the streets knowing there next destination. Faces that differ each, feelings inside that they ditch and go on for best. Some way they were illusions to her. Nothing but a dream, one thing she didn't ponder about. There she was; person who couldn't understand the world for being like that. A world that gives her criticism each and everyday of her life, which won't resolve at all but enters the worse, and tortures her with the confusion. Like the weather outside, who seemed to be the only one to understand this person's feeling, the cloud begun to darken and raindrops started to fall, side by side... there was no noise in the room except for the drops of rain hitting the window one by one; it was heard loudly and clearly around the room. It was pretty dark in the room now, barely seen a thing. But there stood two people in the room with different thoughts but similarly the same reason going around there mind rapidly at the same time… She was speechless. Her whole body was numb. Her mouth went dry and her eyes went sore. Her ears couldn't catch a sound. Her nose couldn't give in to the tender smell of cherry blossoms caressing about approximately in the room. She felt herself shrieking with disgust… yet she felt nervousness and pleasure praising her inside. Why is she feeling like this? What was her real feeling? What could be her second reaction? She couldn't think well right now, all of her thoughts were useless. Her suggestions, her heart, her mind, her soul, and everything were worthless. She sensed them… his affection towards her. She was actually taken aback by the consideration she was making; she couldn't believe herself for falling for him. But what can you do with your heart that started to pump hard and seemed like it won't ever die out. And yet there was something wrong and she knew there was, one thing that didn't allow her at all but she didn't know what, a thing that will never let her give in to this, somehow she didn't understand why… was it because of the dream she was having? The unknown dream… she didn't even know the reason for her insensitivity on those. Or may be it could be mere imagination. Her consternation was getting clearer and touchable.
She stared straightly at him. Her eyes opened wide, and mind running with many thoughts that doesn't seem to work out at all.
"Kagome" he muttered, who seemed out of breath too.
"…" she didn't respond, lowering her face.
"Why are you trying to make things so complicated for you? Aren't you contented? Why? Is it because it was me not my half brother-?" he was cut in the middle.
"No!" Kagome shouted unaware of her current reaction, her face went crimson red. She couldn't analyze what hurried her to say…
"… then what? I can help. You can trust me. You can count on me." He said a bit taken back but continuously, "Because I love you. I can give you the love that you wanted to get, that you wanted to feel, I know you were waiting for so long. Please stay with me and don't turn your eyes to someone else then me."
"Inuyasha… I…" she had nothing to utter out. Was it true that he truly loved her? Did she finally meet her everlasting love of her life? Or was he just like Kouga, whom she fell for; false happiness, false trust, false Love… everything was going the way she never imagined that it could happen to her, this only seemed possible for some freak-show-romance movie. Besides she was in age of 15. She felt the world stop revolving. She felt like all she trusted was giving up on her. She was left alone. No one to carry her when her ankle strains, no one to pat her back when she lose, no one to lift her up when she was falling endlessly, no one to face the trial with her for protection and security, she stood by her own, single-handedly not knowing a thing that was going around her. Now-
"Things I prayed for and lived for
Turns out to be a blank picture; how I cry
Everything that I thought someday it would work out
Went the opposite direction of the pointing arrow
Trusting is once never called love
Meaning of disgrace pierced through my heart of prejudice
Patience isn't love either
Gave all the longings that dreaded your own
The thing you called Love now never awaken.
The dark wall that stands up in depth of lies
The serenity that lives on
Ponder and wonder the sorrow of your mind…"
Kagome couldn't open her mouth to say a word, her mouth were dried up. What he just said was unbelievable; she couldn't understand what he just said. Even with her intellectual intelligence she couldn't comprehend a word. Was it because of his bad poetic background or was it her, that lost her way?
"I can never give you up
Even if hell awaits and greatest punishment approaches-
Kagome's eyes went wide and watery, approximately right after the 1st line, hearing this poem, she knew this. It felt so familiar, she felt like someone else rather than the person in front of her read this poem to her, as if someone else loved her, and she loved him back. But there was always the same problem with her… she didn't know when she heard it, from whom she heard it and how she heard it. If she could understand why, if she only could remember how, everything was cruel to her, nothing told her the truth and no one will ever. It could be only her and herself that could be dealt with. However, she needed someone, a person who could support her until the end. Was it Inuyasha? …or was it him?
I will follow you and find you where ever
Nothing is everything and everything is nothing
If you are not here, within my heart
I will stop loving you when the rain drops stop to drizzle
And when the hue of the rainbow fades away
I will stop loving you when the tides of the water start to descend forever
When the sky hit the ground and when space breaks apart
I-"
"Stop…" she whispered softly in between tears
"-will give you up when wealth subsides from earth
And love comes as the most powerful sword-"
"Stop." She said a bit louder her perturbation shown all over her face
"- I will give you up when-"
"I said STOP!" she shouted "Please stop it… please stop reading it… I can't hold it, I can't bare it. It hurt so much, my heart aches so much, I don't know why, but I feel like my lungs are going to explode… I beg you…" Kagome pleaded
Inuyasha was surprised and didn't know what to do. The abrupt plead from her made him stun and froze on his spot. He couldn't understand why she was acting this way, very different from whom he knew and loved. Was it him who made her like this? was it him who caused her all the pain in her heart? Or was it the poem? He actually didn't know how it was made, for it wasn't originated from him. It was given to him not written. He read not thought. He memorized not understood. A piece of paper that was told to impress the heart of this young one, came from the hand of the person who is now hidden in darkness, afraid to come out and shout.
"Why is it me?" asked Kagome in despair
"K-Kagome…" uttered Inuyasha
"Why does it have to be me? I don't know what to do. I can't think. And I don't know why… I feel so stupid! I feel like I don't know myself anymore, I feel like everything is betraying me! From the seed of the unroot flower to the sparkling star in the dark… nothing is with me. I feel like I am being punished. I didn't wish for this kind of thing to happen, I didn't want them from the start. Why can't I live like the normal people? Why did you have to show up? Why can't I sleep soundlessly in the night without any disturbance and interruptions? Why does that dream need to keep on appearing in my head and suffocating me? I can't breath-"
"What do you mean by that dream? What kind of dream?"
"I don't know… I don't want to think about it. It makes-"
"Tell Me! What are you dreaming nowadays!" shouted Inuyasha
Kagome looked terrified and he looked furious. One was suffering and one was confused…scared. Both of them looked at each other for some times and looked away. Inuyasha was felt like killing himself for shouting at her when she had done nothing wrong. When it was all his fault that she fell and tumbled down the road. While she couldn't take it either, she wasn't given any appreciation for piety. Those traits seemed like a phenomena for human kind. They say they believe but they are different when they turn back… that was the way she thought and believed.
"No. Please go now. I want to sleep. I feel dizzy and I don't want feel like having a row with you. Go. Now!" exclaimed Kagome
"Okay, I'll go. Just take care."
"Bye. Er- Night."
"Night." Said Inuyasha and leaned to her hoping to catch another kiss, but Kagome gave none of those. She merely turned back down and pulled the blanket up to fall into sleep hoping for a better chance… but as she expected she had another… may be something that will last forever.
