All So Hidden
Author's Note: Sorry for the late update, anyway, it's finally the last chapter of the All So Hidden! Well… there's still epilogue so… anyway, but do you think this would be the end of the story of Kagome? Thank You for all the supports! The only thing I can say now is my favorite word. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: All the characters and places are extreme property of the anime entitled Inuyasha. Only the plot and the whole endeavor of this story is my own logical product.
Last Breath
She was on his lap, her cries and tears descending in to sobs. Then there was silence around. Soon, the sun was setting and hiding itself behind the mountain over the ocean to the other land. She slowly tried to seat up straight and face the one, who loved her. She was ready now. She knew what to say and how to defend herself. May be she was expecting this from long ago, but can't remember why. Her determined soul shall never be damaged again even for the deepest crisis. And she knew… it was him who gave her the pendant. She succeeded in seating up beside him. Now was the time she needed to tell him the truth.
"Sesshomaru…" she called with out looking at him
"…" he gave no reply.
"Sesshomaru?" she called once more now looking at him.
Then did she realize that he actually fell asleep. She somehow felt offended by this because, how could he fall asleep while she was crying? But in some way she loved his manly lit up face by the reflection of the half faced sun. She couldn't help herself from smiling. Perhaps, the truth can wait. Until they are both ready, and when there shall be no more of those tear sheds when everything is told. No more pains, when the future comes. No more neglecting of their destiny. No more fear about their unfortunate fate. That should be the time when things are complete to stand on it's own to start a new day with new life.
Now, it was her turn to nestle him within her. She slowly laid down his head on her shoulder… it was quite heavy though. And watched the sun gone forevermore; waited the new moon to bright on the sky in dark. In some minutes everything went dark, and the chilly wind started to blow. Kagome was beginning to feel rather cold, so she tried to wake him up. However, it hardly affected his slumber after all. He went closer and hugged her even tighter in his sleep. She just let out a deep sigh and let it be. Staying out here for one night couldn't be harmful.
Everything was seen and quite heard by one; or may be two. One in disguise and another in jealousy, still both in the same thought. All the same hatred rising in their body, which was once pure and hearty. Inuyasha couldn't understand why Kagome can't realize his desperate need for her. Just wondering again and again if he weren't enough, if his brother is the one meant to be. 'Why? Why can't you feel the same way as I do towards you, Kagome? Why do you always look at him that way and can't turn your gaze with your eyes to me? Can't I be sufficient to you?' Was it that he chose the wrong path that will never be achieved? He couldn't think more, and walked away hidden by the shadow of the building and the dusk of the night. May be tomorrow or the day after or any other day would bring triumphant that could satisfy him. He walked on that way, passing by the doors and walls, until he saw Kikyo leaning on the fence, on his way home, looking horrified. He was surprised at first seeing her as white as a ghost, but he recovered himself after. He tried to say something that could comfort or at least make her better, but nothing came up. That was so like him. Useless.
Kikyo knew he was there, right beside her, and knew what he was thinking. She was with him long enough to know how to read his face. Though, she didn't bother to say anything. She was already tired of all the things that are happening around her. Everything was now worthless to her. Things going around this world seemed unfair. Always on the side of her twin rather than her. It was always like that since her first day in school, with her friends and even family. Everyone loved Kagome but not her. Once, she thought she was just different, and may be there could come a time when she deserved more than her sister. People around her right now in school they call 'friends' are only there because of her change when she was with the one she thought; 'The Worthy One'. They were there after her change, not when she was… she. Before they always thought that she was creepy. But one was different… Inuyasha. She thought he could be hers that time, and that he was meant to be with her. Yet, everything turned out to the opposite direction.
"Kikyo… So, how are you?" asked Inuyasha
That was like the lamest thing to say in this kind of situation. How could he ask such a question while knowing that she also saw what he saw and heard what he heard. Knowing that she was after all, alone.
"Bastard." said Kikyo
"Huh?"
"You are such a coward! You sick bastard!" she then turned her face towards him. Showing what she wished never to show in front of him: tears. She felt like whipping herself for being a poltroon like him.
"K-Kikyo."
"Get out of my site. I don't want to see you ever again. So go away!"
"Kikyo…"
"Get lo-"
She couldn't finish what she wanted to say, that was stopped by a sudden embrace from the person whom she dreamed to be with… forever. She felt the warm aroma rising in his body. How she wanted to be with him this close. She wouldn't have anymore of those regrets and whishes.
"Don't cut my sentence." said Kikyo in warning voice.
"What?" he questioned, backing away.
"I hate people, who stop me when I am talking." stated she with fire flaming in her eyes.
Someway, this journey would be a long one to take. A late start and a forever end, but many may be lost in the trap made by love.
'A dry breeze that sweeps the sand
My vision is getting blear.
I have lost my destination
I lost it with myself.
People passing by; laughing and giggling
What is there to be fond of in this world?
I have traveled far enough
But my mind is never letting me stop.
My feet is all scratched up by walking
But my strength doesn't allow me stop.
So I walked farther and farther.
A cool breeze slapped me soft on my cheek.
I look at the blue sky
Birds flying here and there
How I wish I could fly so high and read the clouds.
I couldn't stop my subbing hear beat.
I wanted to go back.
I wanted to start it over again.
I wanted to stop.
But all parts of me didn't permit it
My mind, my soul, my heart, my body
I hated myself…
Why? Why?
I questioned myself thousands of times
But how many times I ask there is no answer
Only sorrow is left in me…
How I tried to stay strong
How I tried to go on.
Why does it have to be this way?
My efforts of journey has ended
I now question myself once more…
Why did I start this?
For what? For whom?
I have no goals, no destination.
Nothing, but myself standing right here with zilch.
Now I understand…
I had journeyed long for happiness, for freedom, and for you.
Now I'll go on to concur it.
Now I'll walk forward and no looking back.'
Everyone went to their respective places that night. Kagome in her hospital room, hoping for a better day tomorrow. Sesshomaru in his hospital room across Kagome's wishing everything would be fine. (Both of them were kicked out of the garden by the guard.) Inuyasha in his room unconsciously knocked off. Kikyo in her room, praying for strength to last another day.
After some weeks…
"Kagome! Time for school!" shouted Kagome's mom downstairs.
"Alright, alright! I am coming!" insisted Kagome in an annoyed tone. Tying her hair up like she used to do always, even when she stayed in the hospital. Now, she was going back to those school days.
Then she was down stairs prepared to go to school, like the old times, after a long break in the hospital. Well, it was great, thinking of meeting her classmates and friends again, but sad that you can never stop your parents when they start nagging and preaching you.
"You know how many days you skipped school? And now you are planning to be late for the school and another detention? Have you ever thought of your grades? Our money spent on you seems so useless now! Kagome! Are you listening to me! Why are you so hard to control? Why-"
Then there it goes blah, blah, blah. Something never changes now does it? She tried not to listen to her mother and get out of the house as fast as she can. When she's out of the house, there was her best friend, Sango and her boyfriend Miroku waiting for her. Sango never told Kagome how they got together when she was in the hospital. Being with them was like the best time for her. She always felt safe and secured when she was with them, nothing to worry about at all. Except-
"So, Kag. did you study for the chemistry and literature test we are going to have today?" asked Miroku.
"What! Please tell me you are joking! I didn't study for any of them!" exclaimed Kagome.
"I think you are going to be excused since you were absent for weeks." said Sango.
"Yeah, with some MINUS on your grade." teased Miroku.
"No way, I am getting that! My mother will kill me for sure… I'll go first guys. At least study a bit in the library. See you then!"
So she ran as fast as she can. 'Darn! I should have brought my bicycle.' thought Kagome. Checking her watch reading '7:03' she ran faster. She was now ten blocks away. '10th, 9th, 8th, 7th, 6th, 5th, 4th, 3rd, 2nd…' before she could pass the last she bumped into something or someone and tumbling down once again recalling the accident in the hospital.
"Ouch! Watch where you are going, you-" she saw the one, who she bumped into; Sesshomaru.
"Sesshomaru?" called Kagome in embarrassment
"Good morning, Kagome." greeted Sesshomaru, rather in glee
"G-Good morning." her face turning red
"Here, take my hand."
"Thanks." said Kagome, standing up.
"What's the hurry?"
"Huh? Oh! The test! (looking at her clock '7:10') I need to go, bye."
"See you later!" he shouted at her disappearing feature.
In the library…
"My gosh! I don't know any of these things! Especially chemistry! This is my weakest point." said Kagome
Then she grumbled on, understanding none of them, not realizing she is only reading and not memorizing.
"Here." said a boy, who came near by.
"(turning her head to look up) What?"
Inuyasha.
"I said take this." explained Inuyasha
"Oh… um… what is it? (taking it from his hand)"
"Reviewer. Thought you needed one."
"(looking through the pages) Wow! Thanks! This is great! Did you make this?"
"Yeah." then he turned away to reach for the door of the library to exit
"Inuyasha! Thanks."
By the time she greeted, he was already out of the library.
"That's weird. What is the matter with him? He was never like that before… probably because of the stress and everything."
Then she went to study the reviewer Inuyasha gave. After some minutes she realized that the library was quiet… too quiet. So she looked around searching for an answer. Apparently everyone went up to their classrooms for their morning class. Then did she realize that it was 8:17.
"Darn! Why didn't the librarian tell me!" later she stormed out of the library to her classroom. 8-1.
Bang! Door opened!
"Sorry, sir! (breathing hard) I was in the library and… Sesshomaru!" uttered Kagome.
"…Yes, and you look like you didn't expect me here today, when you actually saw me in the gate." said Sesshomaru standing near the board with a chalk with widened eyes.
"Yeah! Of course! Because this is my classroom! So why are you here?"
"…Kagome? I think you should learn how to read numbers before entering high school." he spoke with a sheepish laugh and everyone in the class started to laugh loudly.
Not understanding what he meant, she scanned the room slowly wishing she hadn't done anything stupid again. Yet, there she was standing in the classroom full of grade 11 students. Apparently, she was in so much hurry that she rushed up two more floors, pass her class. Startled and her face red she backed away noticing Sesshomaru, who was answering the question on the board, was watching her in awe. She wouldn't be so embarrassed if he was the only one. Unfortunately, everyone was looking at her, some laughing quietly at the back. She was accumulating her own grave deeper and deeper nowadays. Finally she reached the door with a silent 'Sorry' and went out of the room. Not able to rift her face anymore she exited the room right away. 'I must be going mad!' her legs felt weak and she felt her stomach coiling up inside her, at the state of throwing up. She walked in fast pace to her class looking at her foot rather than front, not realizing that she was near the staircase down already. When she looked up it was too late. She tripped and was leaning forward. 'I am falling'. But the pain of her body rolling down the stairs and hitting the floor never came, except for the voice she dreaded to hear now: Sesshomaru's. With his right hand holding her waist, his left hand holding the iron bar on the side, his arm wrapped around her, and his broad chest touching her small body. For the first time in her life, her hair tie gave up on her and loosened up helplessly letting her hair down. But Sesshomaru didn't look surprised at all rather pleased. They were in that position for some seconds; giving Kagome time for her to analyze what was going on.
"You okay?" asked he.
'God help me! I am dying!' thought Kagome.
"Kagome? (lifting her on her feet) You okay?" he repeated.
"…Yeah. Thanks. Bye." spoke Kagome as she turned away to hang herself.
"Forget about what happened today. It's a common mistake for everyone. You weren't the first one anyway (smile)."
"…and you needed to make it worse by making some lame joke." she whispered in rage as she walked down the stairs.
"Wait."
He grabbed her wrist and turned her around to look at him. Straight into his eyes she looked. He gazed down at her with burning sensation, which Kagome couldn't stand looking at them and turned her head to the side. Unexpectedly, he smiled and spoke one word.
"Beautiful."
Kagome looked at him with a questioning face.
"What do you mean by that?" demanded Kagome
"Pleasant to the eye, ear, or mind; lovely; excellent. Just like what the word means. You look pretty when your hair is down. I knew you would."
She blushed at his compliment. She stared down again, her stomach full of butterfly, however it didn't last long. She glanced at her clock that alerted her '8:30'.
"Shit!" exclaimed Kagome.
"Excuse me?"
"I am late! I need to go now! Catch you around!"
Next thing he knew, she was gone with the wind. Then he went back to his classroom with a smirk drawn on his face.
So, the day went on like a daily routine. Lessons after lesson, works after work, and some run in the open field during PE and lunch time. Everything was the same from the day before, except Kagome was present with a late start of the day in detention. 'I was just half an hour late!' growled Kagome imagining what will her mother do with the fact that she was caught in detention for two times this school year: dreadful. Time went by and it was afternoon, time to go home. Everyone in the school packed up their bags each in different direction; some to the house, some to library, some in cyber café, and other places. For Kagome, knowing that Sango and Miroku left right after the class was done, she walked to the near by playground alone and climbed up to the near by slide and sat down at the top of it. She sat at the side of the stairs with her legs hanging in the midair swinging. The playground was quite deserted from people.
Sigh.
Crouched up, her chest touching her knees and hugging her legs, she drew herself back to think about all the things that had happened today. Running, bumping in to Sesshomaru, library and studying, the reviewer, Inuyasha, walking in to the wrong class, embarrassment, Sesshomaru hugging her… she shook the thought away as fast as it came to her… detention.
Everything was crazy. Something was surely going wrong. It was like someone was playing fool with her life. Especially those two brothers who kept on appearing in her vision. She stayed that way staring at the reddened sky above until someone interrupted her.
Inuyasha.
She knew. His voice was clear enough for his identity.
"Aren't people suppose to sit in the swing when they are lonely and alone in the playground?" he asked teasing her.
She looked down, but he was nowhere to be seen. 'Inuyasha. Jerk. Where are you?' she glanced around and saw him down in front of the slide, and then she faced up once more, not minding him.
"Not your business. Besides air up here is much more refreshing than down there and breathing soil." she replied
"You like the smell of the polluted air? I didn't know you were already acclimated to that. But you might get cancer."
"It's not polluted!" she erupted turning her head towards him again.
A small chuckle was heard under. She looked down once more and saw Inuyasha chuckling and then smile. At that instance, she felt her body go numb, her heart pumping in faster beat than the usual one and her face heating up. Startled she looked away trying not to show her face to him. Carelessly, she slipped and her balance was off, sliding down the slide. 'I am falling again…'
Once again she didn't feel any pain from the fall but the warm embrace by one. Now, her slim back was touching his chest, he protecting her with firm grip around her waist with his hands and arms and her head just below his chin. Her arms and legs were airborne seconds ago, later they hit the ground with a some what great impact. Kagome didn't feel so much of the soreness, but Inuyasha was badly hurt. Addition to the fall there was a rock on the ground which hit the head of Inuyasha. After a split second he felt the screech of pain and the blood pouring down his head. Then, he saw the crying face Kagome bleared.
'Kagome…' he thought and afforded a weak smile to assure he was okay, but later on his whole world went black and blank.
Right away Kagome called for help. Fortunately, a security guard was passing by; with his help they carried Inuyasha to the hospital. As soon as they reached the hospital door, people in the hospital came out rushing and brought him inside the surgery room. She was scared and was lost. She didn't know what to do. She sat down on the chair near the surgery door, her tears dropping one by one rushing her up. Finally, she broke in to a deep cry. 'It's my entire fault! If I just didn't slip! I wasn't so stupid!'
Minutes later Sesshomaru and his mother came; Izayoi. Sesshomaru rushed to Kagome and asked what happened, but she couldn't open her mouth to explain. The only word she could utter was 'surgery'. Hearing this, Izayoi knelt down on the floor and cried, fear of losing her son. Sesshomaru didn't know what to say next, so he supported his mother to be seated on the chair and hugged Kagome as she cried on his chest in silence. Seconds, minutes, and hours passed. Their anxiety not subsided a bit. Finally, the doctor came out of the surgery room looking gloomy. They were all terrified as the doctor spoke.
"Are you the guardian of the patient?" asked the doctor.
"Yes, I am his mother. What happened to my son? Is he okay? Is he hurt? Or is he… gone?" Izayoi said painfully.
"He is not dead, but his brain was damaged greatly. He won't be able to use some part of his brain… well, most of them. The fall was hard and unfortunately the rock has hit the lethal part of human brain. It's just a miracle he is still alive…partly." the doctor explained.
"So what are you trying to say? What happened to him?" demanded Sesshomaru in deadly voice.
"Did he get amnesia?" asked Kagome.
"I wish it was… I am regretful and sorry to say that what your son has… I mean what your son became is much more horrifying." the doctor answered.
"What he became? What do you mean?" questioned Izayoi.
"Well…" the doctor paused and wished he didn't need to say it.
"WHAT!" barked Sesshomaru.
"V-Vegetable man… he is in a stage of human vegetable."
"What? I don't understand." said Kagome in fearful eyes.
"Simply put, he is dead. Yet, his heart is pumping. Yes, he has lost his memory but he doesn't even know that he did. He doesn't know he's alive. He doesn't know that he's opening his eyes. It's only his heart pumping and blood circulating."
"No…" spoke Izayoi in despair and fell back to the chair.
"There must be a cure. Isn't there, doctor?" asked Kagome in hope.
"Sorry. There is absolutely nothing we can do about this." this was the last statement the doctor left and walked away leaving incurable scar on three of them.
Inuyasha was lying on the bed in room 504. This was a private room so it was only him inside the room. The thing is that he doesn't know. The three of them entered the room after listening to what the doctor said. As soon as they saw something that was laid on the bed unmoving, they froze on the spot. The picture was horrifying. The silky hair Inuyasha carried was gone. The eyes that always fired up with passion were now misty and blank. His mouth opened with his cold blue lips. It was unspeakable. More tear drops flooded in Kagome's eyes. Izayoi walked nearer and nearer to Inuyasha, standing beside him. Sesshomaru went to his lost brother leaving Kagome in the doorway. Not able to take anymore, Kagome turned to leave the room, when someone barged in the room banging the door.
Kikyo.
She looked hysterical. Her face was as white as ghost and her body was shaking. Kagome was surprised to see her sister like that, and the confusing part was 'Why is she here?'
Ex-boyfriend.
"Kikyo?" pronounced Kagome with a nasal voice. She never called Kikyo 'sister', sounded untrue.
"No… No… Inuyasha…" uttered Kikyo, ignoring Kagome.
Izayoi was still crying, her face buried in the bed sheet and her arms, seating on the floor. Sesshomaru turned to look; he looked pale, but unshaken. He didn't cry. Kagome turned to him and then back to see Kikyo glaring at her with range and betrayal. Everything was written in her eyes. 'It's Your FAULT.' But then her eyes softened soon. Finally, her eyes became watery and one… two… tears kept flowing.
"I… Kikyo… I am sorry."
"What… What happened to him? He's not dead is he? Haha… of course he's not dead! That's why he's still in the hospital! He's okay right? Yeah… he'll be fine. Nothing's wrong with him. He's just sleeping." Kikyo spoke as if she was going crazy.
"Kikyo… Inuyasha is-" Kagome tried t explain.
"Stop! He's alright! He… He will wake up! " argued Kikyo. Her tears were overflowing now, denying the fact about Inuyasha. Then did Kagome realize that she wasn't the one who was suffering the most. Kikyo, Seshomaru, and Inuysha's mother. They were the people who suffered. How selfish she was to think of herself only. She always thought that it's only her who needed to be endured, that she was the one to suffer the most and the only one to get hurt. To be betrayed and lost. Alone. They were not referring to her anymore… she knew.
Kikyo went nearer and nearer to 'dead' Inuyasha slowly and painfully. Each step was like hell. Seeing him this way wasn't what she wished for. She wanted to see his smile again. His stupid grin. His innocence. His voice. His embracement. His warmth. How he called her… she wanted all of them back. She sat on the bed beside the creature that lay looking hysterical with fear in his eyes. Slowly, she leaned down towards him hugging him within her… and cried.
Kagome ran out as fast as she can to avoid the scene in front of her. She ran and ran… 'Faster! Faster!' she thought. She was running down the hallway which was left empty and no people were seen. Suddenly someone grabbed by her wrist and stopped her. She turned around to see Sesshomaru. Her vision was bleary because of the overflowing tears. Then, she buried her face in her palm hiding her appearance. She felt so ashamed.
"I…I am so… sorry. I didn't mean… to… it's just…an-" startled Kagome
"That's not the point!" shouted Sesshomaru.
She looked up shocked by the sudden shouting.
"It's okay. Let's go on, alright? Everything's fine."
Kagome was confused. Was he telling her that it wasn't her fault? Didn't he care about Inuyasha? Was he telling her to be beside him? And leave Inuyasha alone, when it was her fault that he turned to a monster?
"What are you talking about?" questioned Kagome.
"I only want you to be happy Kagome. Forget about everything that happened here. Let's just-" said Sesshomaru.
"No… I can't… that's so selfless. I don't want to be selfish anymore. I will pay for the prize. I will take the punishment if I need to…"
"Kagome… What are you-"
Ssshomaru stopped, looking at the oddly placed smile on Kagome's face. It's seemed pained but happy.
"I will stay with Inuyasha… until his death."
