Disclaimer: I do not own King Arthur.
IV : In Love With Pigs
Lorelyn found him that night exactly where he should have been, in the straw with a pig resting at his side. He seemed to be either in deep thought or was sleeping as she saw that his eyes were closed. She smiled gently at the sight; it wasn't the first time he had to sleep out here. As a young boy, Lancelot was detached because of the separation of his family, and sometimes he hid out here in the stables for the night. Lorelyn would find him here in the morning and she would sit with him until it was time to do chores.
She was now standing above him, shifting slightly as she held her lightest fur throw in her arms. Early spring nights weren't favorable as the weather cooled down considerably, and the wind nipped with hard bites. She knew that as a knight, he was used to spending his nights in even the worst weather, but he wasn't out in some eastern forest; he was home and Lorelyn would make sure he was comfortable at the least despite his uncomfortable bedding.
Watching him as he slumbered (or so she thought) put Lorelyn's mind at an uneasy state. This morning's musings were coming back around and steadily gripping at her conscience, forcing her to recall her thoughts about him. She frowned as the thoughts of conceiving his children came back to mind, the embarrassment causing her to flush all over again. She never intended on having those kinds of wonderings when it came to Lancelot, but lately her heart and mind have been rebelling.
Lorelyn bit her lip and pushed those thoughts away, at least until she can get some time to discuss this with Guinevere. For now, she would be the good friend she was and give Lancelot some warmth for the night. She approached Lancelot and kneeled down next to him, peering closely into his face. As they grew up, he perfected his false slumber, but she perfected the detection of this forged sleep as well.
When she saw a slight movement behind his eyelids, she smirked and leaned closer, her playful side gaining control of the situation. She blew lightly, watching as the stray curls resting lightly on his forehead sway to the side. A twitch in Lancelot's frowning mouth made Lorelyn smile and she pulled on a curl as she moved to sit down next to him.
He pretended to stir awake and the sluggish smile he sent her way caused the butterflies in Lorelyn's stomach to spread their wings. Or maybe it was the smoky look in his eyes that made her shiver. She blinked and forced those strange apparatuses down her throat and smiled at him.
"Lorelyn, what are you doing here? I was the one who lost the fight, have you forgotten?" He pulled himself into a sitting position against the bundles of hay and gestured for Lorelyn to come closer. She complied and leaned against him as she threw the mantle over them.
"Yes, I am aware that I had you defeated," she paused to grin smugly at him, "but the nights this season are not favorable. I brought the fur for you," she finished, blushing slightly at Lancelot's soft smile.
He gently pulled on her hair before settling himself into a half-laying, half-sitting position, forcing Lorelyn to follow as he wrapped an arm around her previously. "It is just like you to as well."
Lorelyn shrugged, though the burden on her shoulders made the action harder to execute with ease, and she was aware of how his long fingers brushed against the point where her shoulder joint was. She sighed and shut her eyes, trying to push the heavy feeling in her heart away.
Lancelot; however, noticed and looked at her curiously. "What's the matter?"
Lorelyn opened her eyes and stared down at the blanket strewn across their laps. "I have had many things on my mind today, that is all."
Lancelot gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, unaware of the affect it was having on Lorelyn, minute or otherwise. "Would you care to share? You have worried yourself over preparations for this upcoming trip, I have noticed, and you are going to exhaust yourself if you keep it up," he pointed out, concerned for her well being. "Have you been sleeping much?"
Lorelyn laughed softly and patted his hand. "Lancelot, do not make such clutter over me; it is my duty to do that for you men. I'm fine, and I am not worrying too much over everything. It isn't as if I haven't been on a trip before, you know," she said and gave Lancelot a pointed look.
"Yes, I know, but I still can be concerned for you, can I not? It isn't as if I have not been watching you," he said lightly, but Lorelyn froze at his last statement.
"You were watching me?"
Lorelyn looked at Lancelot and saw something flicker in his eyes before they slanted with his smile. "You think I do not?"
"Yes," was her brusque reply and Lancelot chuckled. Lorelyn felt the vibrations wave off his chest and her heart lurched an inch.
"Silly woman, you forget that I see all."
Lorelyn laughed. "Excuse me, then, Sir Clairvoyant."
They shared a laugh at her comment and after their chuckled died down, silence ensued between them except for the snoring of the pig beside Lancelot. Lorelyn had braced herself for the awkwardness, but was surprised to feel the familiar comfortable silence that they used to share during the cool nights on the parapets. It was a nice feeling. Reassuring.
"Lancelot, do you ever think about having children some day?" she asked after the long stillness between them, but chastised herself for blurting out such an uneasy topic.
Lancelot did not show uneasiness, though, and instead smiled fondly. "Yes."
She was surprised at his answer. She knew that he was very good with the children of Camelot, but he had once told her that he did not deem himself worthy of a being a father whose hands had killed so many. But she knew that he would eventually want children of his own, to have young sons to teach the ways of fighting. "Really?"
He nodded thoughtfully and looked down at her with a gleam in his eyes that softened his expression. "The fighting had been over with for a while now, and things have been calm around here and…the possibility of having sons of my own is greater now."
"So, there was a possibility before? But I remember you telling me that you felt ashamed to raise children with hands that slain so many men."
"Yes, and the dishonor is somewhere inside of me, but deep down I have always wanted children…and a wife to bear them for me, of course," he added with a wink but Lorelyn couldn't help the thought she dared to think earlier resurface in her mind.
"You are still young; you can find a wife. There are plenty of women that I know of who would be glad to bear your children, you oaf," she said with a slight sting in her tone. The thought of all those girls whom Lancelot has bedded didn't sit well in Lorelyn's mind.
He grinned arrogantly. "I know plenty of them as well." The smile soon faded into a small grin. "But none whom I would consider a suitable wife and mother to my children, I'm afraid to admit."
Lorelyn felt flushed as she sat there next to Lancelot talking about the potential candidates for his future wife. In the crevasse of her heart, Lorelyn was distraught to know that a woman would claim Lancelot's heart and forever seal him away from her. Her heart constricted in fear of the nearness of losing her best friend. They would not stay young forever, and Lancelot was talking of settling down as if he was considering doing it in the near future.
"Oh," she said, trying to calm her frazzled mind.
If Lancelot noticed her distractedness, he ignored it and gave Lorelyn a grin. "But I might say that I have a slight desire for someone."
Lorelyn's eyes widened and twisted her head to look at Lancelot, to see if what he said was a joke of some sort, but he had the same thoughtful smile on his face as he regarded Lorelyn. She quickly regained her composure but her heart kept its fast cadence. She rolled her eyes and looked away. "Why in the world would you tell me such a thing, Lancelot? Your romance should not be any of my concern."
Lancelot chuckled. "It should," he said softly and Lorelyn opened her mouth to demand what he meant by that, but when she turned her head Lancelot's eyes were closed. The peaceful look on his face looked authentic this time and Lorelyn sighed. His comment would stay in her mind until she solved its enigmatic nature, but a yawn escaped her mouth and she soon leaned against Lancelot, grumbling about puzzling men as she pulled the throw up to her shoulders.
It was silent when Lorelyn's eyes reopened and she yawned as she looked around at her surroundings, disoriented a bit. Yes, she was in the barn, and yes, there was a body lying next to hers with an arm wrapped snugly around her midsection.
Lorelyn let out a small squeak when she turned and found her nose buried in a mass of dark curls. She was in the straw with Lancelot's arm around her. It wasn't the first time she had woken up to find her dear friend's arm strewn across her stomach in the midst of sleep, but that had been years ago. And especially with her heart at an uncontrollable rate and her mind jumbled with thoughts of him and his last words coursing through her brain, Lorelyn was afraid that the heat her body was accumulating would steam off her clothes and awaken her companion, which would put her in a more uncomfortable and unbearable position.
She needed to leave, and quickly.
Unfortunate with the fact that Lancelot was a light sleeper, Lorelyn was challenged at escaping his grip. Never mind that the weight of his arm was dangerously close to being delightful, Lorelyn focused on removing the now heavy arm off of her. She lay there for a moment, willing her heart to slow down, but it didn't comply and left her befuddled and irritated with her own emotions.
Lorelyn sighed and finally gave up on thinking of a way that would not disturb the slumber of Lancelot. She gingerly lifted his arm and slid away from his embrace and the warmth of the blanket, then slowly returned his arm to its previous position, now on the blanket. She exhaled in relief when Lancelot didn't stir awake.
Now free, Lorelyn rose to her feet silently and pushed the stray tendrils away from her face. The nippiness of the night's air was a relief on her burning skin as she ran her hand over her face, trying to make some sense of her embarrassment. There really was no need for being this flush at waking up with Lancelot's arm around her, but Lorelyn was now extremely fearful that there was a logical explanation to her reaction.
Now fully awake and restless, Lorelyn disregarded the time and turned around, walking out of the barn and toward the apartment wings, where Arthur and Guinevere's room was. She needed to sort her feelings out now before they burdened more on her mind.
But if she dared turn around as she swiftly walked out of the wooden doors, she would've seen the small smile that graced the knight's handsome face and a hazel eye peeking through under his dark lashes.
By the time Lorelyn reached the door to their room, the cold air had taken away much of the heat and she was now shivering in cold. She knocked lightly on the door, knowing that Arthur, and all the other knights for that matter, was a light sleeper as well. She waited a few moments until she heard the door handle rattle and soon enough there was a crack in the door along with Arthur's head poking through. When his drowsy gaze settled on the trembling woman standing before him, his sleep wore off and he quickly ushered Lorelyn inside without a word.
Once inside and in the vicinity of the fired hearth, Lorelyn waited for her primary sensations to return to her before turning to address Arthur who was standing near with a concerned look about his face and the now rising Guinevere from the bed who didn't look at all as if she was just awakened in what Lorelyn knew was the middle of the night. She suddenly felt guilty and small standing in front of her King and Queen, and silently cursed herself for being brash in trying to solve her petty issue.
"Lorelyn, what is the matter?" Arthur's voice was soft yet so unassailable, his commanding skills apparent, as well as his concern as he stepped forward and lightly gripped her shoulders.
Guinevere was now in front of her too, and she pulled Lorelyn away from Arthur's grasp and steered her to a nearby chaise, settling her down and soon sitting herself down. "Lorelyn, you look alarmed! And the time! What in the world are you doing up this hour?"
Lorelyn shook her head and moved to get up, but Guinevere's hold on her was tight. "I apologize. I was in a sudden predicament and did not think out my actions until after I knocked on your door. I did not mean to wake you and Arthur up," she said and cast a glance to the King who was standing close by with his arms crossed over his broad chest.
"I was hungry anyway," Guinevere proclaimed and smiled at her clearly distressed friend. "Now, since you are here and we are not going to let you go back out there in the cold, I want you to tell me what had brought you here in the first place. Are you hurt?" she asked quickly and swept her eyes over Lorelyn's frame, trying to find any tear in her skirts or on her bodice.
Lorelyn couldn't help the giggle that escaped her mouth at her friend's attention and shook her head. "No, I am not in any danger. At least not any physical danger," she added softly and Guinevere's eyes widened at the quiet assertion.
"What are you going on about?"
The exasperation in her voice made Lorelyn sigh and she decided that she might as well say what she principally came for. It was no use keeping them up any longer guessing what has Lorelyn in such a mess. "It's Lancelot," she said quietly, feeling mousy as ever as she shrank from their alarmed looks.
Arthur spoke up first after the slight pause. "What did he do?" The tone in his voice was hard and Lorelyn quickly raised her eyes to his, shaking her head fervently.
"No, no, it is not anything he did. Well, I mean, he did do something, of course, to make me feel like this, but he did not know," she rambled on and realized that she let on more than she would have liked.
But she had Arthur calm again and she swore she saw a glimmer of something akin to amusement in his eyes. Guinevere clasped her hand, but when Lorelyn turned to look at her, Guinevere wasn't looking at her and instead at her husband.
"Arthur, why don't you go check on Lancelot? He might be alarmed of Lorelyn's absence," she said and Lorelyn's eyes widened.
She opened her mouth to deny her being there with him, but Arthur was already moving out the door with an extra fur blanket in his arms. Before he walked out completely, he gave Lorelyn a wink and a sly grin.
Lorelyn blinked and turned to Guinevere who was looking at Lorelyn with a knowing look on her face, along with a grin that Lorelyn could tell was verging on breaking into a wide smile.
She stammered with her words. "I – uh – we – Lan – it –" She groaned and rested her elbows on her thighs, then holding her head in her hands. Guinevere rubbed her back comfortingly.
Lorelyn raised her head after a few minutes and stared at the charming and pregnant woman next to her. "What am I supposed to do?"
Guinevere smiled softly. "Nothing. Fussing over your emotions will not smooth the bumps underneath, Lorelyn."
She sighed and looked down at her clasped hands, her blacksmith hands that were rough and lacking in femininity. Hands that are not meant to be kissed by some handsome man, or held by one for that matter. "It is all so sudden. After that night in the gardens, I knew that things were changed between us. But I did not want to believe it because this was Lancelot and my heart was moving too fast for my head. I…this feeling has caught my heart and it is so unbearable whenever he is near, Guinevere. The simple gestures are making me feel like such a…" she trailed off, embarrassed by how naïve she was sounding.
"Woman?" Guinevere offered and Lorelyn nodded slowly.
"Yes. The simple actions are meaning so much more to me, and even more with what Alis said to me this morning, my heart has yet to halt in its thrumming."
"What did Alis say to you?" Guinevere asked and Lorelyn sighed, recalling her conversation with the older and wiser woman.
Lorelyn played with a frayed thread from the pocket of her skirt, twirling it around her finger. "That she saw the way Lancelot looked at me. She told me that he looks at me with a love unlike the looks he gives other women, and he sees a woman in me." She looked exasperatedly at Guinevere. "What woman is there to see, Guinevere?"
She smiled at Lorelyn and reached up to remove the clasp from Lorelyn's hair, freeing the waving tresses across her back and sweeping it over her shoulder. "You are beautiful, Lorelyn. You are just too stubborn to see it. And the looks that I know Lancelot gives you." She gave Lorelyn a pointed look. "Do not overwhelm yourself with thoughts of being unattractive. Because you are far from it."
The austerity in Guinevere's eyes was sincere and Lorelyn sighed again, pulling at an auburn strand. "Do you believe that Lancelot could possibly have a fancy towards me?" She included what Lancelot had told her hours before about him having a desire and the necessity for her being concerned about his love life, and when she told Guinevere about waking up and finding his arm around her, the young woman laughed with glee.
"What more can I tell you, then? His feelings for you, though unabashed because this is Lancelot you are complaining about, are sincere and you need to accept them."
Lorelyn chewed on her bottom lip and thought about the possibility of Lancelot referring to her. But she refused to believe it because she knew that though Lancelot had a caring heart, his manhood was too prevalent to allow him some earnestness. She could believe that he was attracted to her, but maybe because she was not fawning over him and he was fond of challenges.
"His feelings for me would never be more than what it is now," she said dejectedly, finally coming to a conclusion that Lancelot would always be the man he was, and she was ashamed of herself for almost believing that she could become another harlot of his if she allowed him to lure her into his trap.
The scowl on her face made Guinevere smile softly.
"Lorelyn, tell me this."
She looked at Guinevere and raised a brow. "What?"
Guinevere leaned close. "What are your feelings for Lancelot, then? We went on and on about how he feels towards you, but you did not tell me if you feel anything for him. I know you do, and your confession earlier proves my point."
Lorelyn stared at the hearthrug in front of the fire, letting Guinevere's words sink into her mind. She was now tired of ignoring her feelings and the ache in her heart was beginning to weigh heavily on her soul. Even if she tried, the care she has for Lancelot could never fade away, and she realized that if she tried fighting it, she would be easily defeated by the simple semantics of love.
Lorelyn let out a shaky breath and finally confessed whatever it was that she tried to hide for the past few days.
"I am irrevocably in love with the most pigheaded man alive."
Author's Note: Well. It has been almost nine months since I have updated this story and past a year since I started it. For all that time it took for me to brainstorm and complain about my procrastination, it took a total of four hours to scrounge up something for this chapter. Late at night is the best time for my inspiration to spark up. And yes, I understand that Lorelyn is now in love with Lancelot, and I am still a bit iffy with the way she reveals her love for him, but the basics are there and written. The fun part can now start!
I hope I was not forgotten! I have a pretty clear idea on the upcoming chapters, and now that school is over with, I have no reason why I shouldn't get moving along. So move along I shall. I'm definitely not going to promise anything, because my inspiration is a wry and tricky thing.
