A/N: This popped into my head one day and so I ran with it...tell me what you think!
Tsuzuki sat by the window in his apartment. The room around him felt cold, even though sunlight came through the windows.
It was early in the day, and it was his day off. His eyes swept the sidewalk below. No one was out today, but the sky was clear.
He sighed softly and leaned his head back against the wall. He let his eyes close slowly. Tsuzuki hadn't been sleeping well lately,
nightmares were frequent and he couldn't get them out of his head. He didn't want to sleep, it meant reliving his painful past.
He thought about his partner then. His thoughts often turned to the emerald eyed empath that was Hisoka. Hisoka liked to keep his distance with people. He often called Tsuzuki an "idiot" or "baka" and then blush. But Tsuzuki didn't mind. He smiled to himself, he liked to make Hisoka blush like that. He blushed so easily Tsuzuki just couldn't help himself. Hisoka was an enigma to him, but his partner was slowly revealing himself bit by bit. The painful past the young guardian had was always catching up to him and Tsuzuki made sure he was always there.
Tsuzuki did not like to reveal a lot about himself however. As he sat he absentmindedly stroked the watch on his right wrist. Only Tatsumi knew part of his past. He suspected that Hisoka may have figured some of it out. Sometimes he would catch Hisoka looking at him and he could almost feel his worry. He didn't want Hisoka to worry, so he always tried to hide what he was feeling. His walls blocking Hisoka's empathy were sometimes so strong even Hisoka noticed.
Memories sometimes hit Tsuzuki full force, even in the middle of the night. Sometimes, he was too tired to live. But after Kyoto...he had a reason to live. Tsuzuki and Hisoka hadn't talked about what had happened at Kyoto yet. They carefully avoided the subject, it was like they were dancing around each other. Tsuzuki's feelings for Hisoka had changed; he'd stopped thinking of him as just a partner a while ago. He just couldn't bring himself to tell him, Tsuzuki was too afraid of the rejection. He sighed and got up from the windowsill. He put on his coat and walked out his apartment with no destanation in mind.
He ended up at the park, cherry blosoms in bloom, as they always were. He sat down on an old woden bench and leaned his head back. He looked up at the ever blue sky and watched the flower petals float by. It was a peaceful moment, one of too few in Tsuzuki's life. He let no thought pass through his head. He lifted his head when he heard soft footsteps approaching. His eyes met with emerald ones and he smiled lightly. He motioned for Hisoka to sit next to him.
"How did you know I was here?" Tsuzuki asked. Hisoka shrugged, "You weren't home," was his simple reply. Tsuzuki smiled and said, "Look at the cherry blosoms! Aren't they beautiful?" Hisoka said nothing for a moment but Tsuzuki thought he felt Hisoka shaking. "Why do you always have to pretend be so damn happy all the time?" Hisoka said accusingly. Tsuzuki stilled, it seemed they had come to the Kyoto issue at last.
"I know you...you pretend all the time. Pretending won't make it just go away Tsuzuki," Hisoka started again. "I know...but sometimes its easier," was Tsuzuki's hesitant reply. "Tsuzuki..." Hisoka started. Tsuzuki felt Hisoka's slim hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at his partner. "You have to stop pretending, for your sake...I'm your partner, can't you trust me?" Tsuzuki looked at him with sad eyes. His heart screamed yes but his head was slower to accept. Hisoka seemed to understand the internal struggle that was going on within Tsuzuki. He made a choice then, a choice to finally tell Tsuzuki what he really wanted to say in Kyoto. He had been struggeling with this for a while and now he could finally say something.
Hisoka rose off the bench and kneeled in front of Tsuzuki. He took Tsuzuki hands, they were so cold, into his own and began to speak. "Tsuzuki...you've always tried to show the world you were happy. But after a while I could see that wasn't so. But still, over the these past few months, I've grown to trust you. I've never trusted anyone before you. And yet it seems you cannot trust yourself. So I am going to try and show you that I have enough trust, and care...and love for the both of us." Tsuzuki stilled again, not breathing, had he just heard Hisoka right?
When it seemed like the silence stretched on too long Hisoka shook his head and said soflty, "You baka, that means I love you." Tsuzuki barely heard the insult, he could feel and hear that Hisoka was telling the truth. He stood up and quickly pulled the boy into his arms. He embraced Hisoka like they were standing in a raging river and Hisoka was the only stable thing around. Tsuzuki was afraid of drowning but he knew now that Hisoka would be there for him.
"Hisoka...I love you too," Tsuzuki said through his tears. Hisoka looked up and held Tsuzuki's chin so that the older gardain would look at him. Amethsist clashed with emerald as Tsuzuki looked up. "Tsuzuki, I want to be there for you. I always have that's why I risked my life to save you in Kyoto...I love you Tsuzuki." Tears were now streaming down Hisoka's face as well. Tsuzuki rested his forehead against Hisoka's and quietly whispered, "Thank you Hisoka, you mean more to me than anything." They stood together like that for a long time before Hisoka took Tsuzuki home. After that, they always took care of each other. Each of them giving and taking when needed. The amount of love and trust they had for each other was unsurpassed by others.
fin
A/N: Let me know what you think!
