Author note: Well, my sis and I have been playing poker all day, so I didn't have time to update, so I'll do that now.

I could actually feel fear rising into me as it neared 4:00. I spent the whole morning with Spot, and I was still with him. I had to choose – take his life, or Erica's.

Well, I've known Erica longer, and she's been my friend since ever she came to Ned's stupid death school, and I've only known Conlon for a few weeks now. It was hard to believe that I hated him at first, and now I was lip locking with the boy whenever I felt his hand brush mine.

I didn't know how you could choose between your best friend and the boy you think you like. I wouldn't say that "love" describes my feelings, but it was something. I guess it's just this first love thing, nothing big, right?

I hadn't seen or spoken to Stephen, Erica or Cadince the whole day, and I was quite thankful for that. If I did plan on killing Spot, then I wouldn't want any of my friends to appear. This didn't only involve Spot and Erica's lives, but it also involved Daniel's. I knew, somehow, that Ned would drag the poor boy into this.

I was actually quite confused about everything. What was this thing going on between Spot and I, and what would Ned do if I didn't kill Spot?

"You should really get ta know da udder guys," Spot said, dragging me out of my thoughts.

I shifted my eyes over to him. We were sitting in a park; the two of us perched up in a tree, on separate branches. I sat with my legs dangling off the side, but Spot lay back against the trunk, his arms tucked behind his head, looking as relaxed as ever.

"Your newsies?" I asked.

"Mmhmm," Spot answered. "They'll really like ya, but dey'll be scared of yer tough side."

"Scared? Why should they be scared when their leader is not?"

"Because their leadah fears nothin."

I tore apart a twig and looked down at the ground, far beneath me. "Are you afraid of death?" I asked.

Spot looked over at me, a little surprise and a little compassion shining in his river blue eyes. "'Course not," he said. "We'll all die eventually, so why should we be scared of da one thing dat happens everyday?"

I lowered my head once more. "You value your life, don't you?" I ask.

"Who doesn't? I'd die for one of my newsies, and for Cromwell," Spot said. He ran a hand through his hair and smiled. "And you."

I raised my eyebrows, amazed. "You barely know me, why would you die for me?" I asked.

"Hey, we're friends now, right?"

"Right," I said shakily.

"Well, den you count too."

I closed my eyes and imagined Spot taking a bullet for one of his friends. Would he really die for me? Even after I promised to kill him after sunset? He wouldn't be able to die for you, idiot, he'll be dead because you killed him! I yelled at myself.

"Who would you die for, Parker?" Spot asked.

I sighed, and could only see very few people come to mind. "My little brother, Stephen, Cadince, Erica…and you, I suppose. Since we are 'friends.'"

"You have a brotha?" Spot asked, sending me a look of confusion and surprise.

"Yeah," I muttered. "But I never get to see him."

"Why?"

I sighed inwardly and licked at my lips. "Because I'm not allowed to."

"Fattah won't let ya?"

"My father won't let me do anything!" I suddenly snapped. "I wish he'd fall off a cliff and die!"

"Oh, Parker, you don't mean dat."

"Yes I do! You have no idea how much he's ruined me, and neglected me as a daughter. I hate him."

"Yer lucky to even have a fattah," Spot said a bit angrily.

"Yeah, well, you're lucky not to have one. I'd give up everything just to be like you, living out here on the streets, living a life like yours," I said.

"Well, I'd give up everythin to live a life like yours," Spot spat back.

I sent him a dangerous look and narrowed my eyes. "Don't say that. You don't deserve that much pain, I do. I deserve it all."

If only Ned didn't have a way of blackmailing me if I ever ran away. The moment I even try to escape, he'd tell the world about me, and that's what kept me in.

"What is it exactly dat you hate so much 'bout yer life, Anomie?" Spot asked.

"And that's the bad part. I just can't tell you-"

"Why? Why can't you tell me? What is this secret that everyone but me seems to know? Huh?" Spot suddenly asked.

"Maybe if you looked at other people more often, instead of looking at every rich girl that passes by you, then you'd probably understand!"

I pushed myself off the tree and landed steadily on my feet. I had to admit it hurt my feet a little jumping from the tree, but I ignored it. I began to storm off and heard Spot jump out of the tree – or maybe he fell – and he began to run after me.

Spot grabbed my arm and forced me to turn to him.

"Jesus, Parker, calm down!" he exclaimed.

"Oh don't tell me to calm down. How come everyone I know wants me to calm down? Do I look like I want to calm down?"

Spot growled angrily and tightened his grip on my wrist. "Yer so aggravating Parker, and I'm getting tired of it!" he yelled.

"Grow up, Conlon, just grow up!"

Spot looked as if he had the sudden urge to hit me, and raised his hand to do so. But instead of hitting me, he forcefully pulled me towards him and tore at my lips with his. I pushed him away angrily and glared at him.

"I'm not your whore, you ass, so stop trying to win me over by kissing me all the time!" I yelled.

Spot finally lost it, and before I could size up what happened the two of us were rolling down the hill, trying to punch the other. There were small rocks here and there that cut into our skin, but that was the least of our worries. Once we hit flat ground, Spot pinned me, a deadly look in his eyes.

"Yer such a snob!" he told me.

I turned over so I was pinning him and struggled to keep him down. "I'm not a snob, I'm just right!"

Spot forced himself back to pinning me. "Yer not right 'bout anythin! Don't flatter yerself!"

I pinned him again, and this continued until I finally built up enough anger and punched him in the jaw when he was pinning me. He didn't react to this; he just kept a firm grip on my shoulders, and made sure I stayed down.

"Why do you have ta be so different?" he asked furiously.

"I can't help it that I don't want to be like one of your whores," I said through clenched teeth.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way," Spot argued back.

His bangs fell in his eyes, and he had a trickle of blood running down his cheek from being sliced by a rock.

"Well what did you mean?" I asked, trying to push him off, but did not succeed.

"I mean, why do you have to be so poifect?" his eyes suddenly went soft, and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Perfect…?" I repeated.

"Yeah, poifect…"

"What are you talking about?" I suddenly growled. "How can I be perfect when my life is hell, and Satan is manipulating me?"

Spot smirked and chuckled. He chuckled! How could he be 'chuckling' after we rolled around in the grass like three-year-olds, fighting over who is snobbier? I was actually too surprised to even notice that there were people walking by, giving us odd looks.

"Parker, do you know how many guys would kill to have a goil like you?" Spot asked.

"Guys want a girl who fights back, who is probably tougher than him, and who has no manners whatsoever?" I asked confusedly.

"Yer not tougher den me," Spot said. "But yeah. You can take care of yerself, and those rich snobs are really annoying."

"Yeah, well, you're annoying. Get off me!"

Spot did no such thing. He actually acted as if he didn't hear my last comment, and surprised the world by gently caressing my lips with his. I was still shocked at how tough he was, and now I was even more shocked when he ignored me!

I kissed him back (surprise, surprise) and ignored the weird looks we were getting. I felt at ease when I kissed Spot, and felt butterflies fluttering about my stomach.

Spot pulled me to my feet, and smirked once more. I didn't know why he smirked so often, but oh well.

"Come on," he said, grabbing my hand in his and leading me away from the park.

I looked out at the sun, and felt a lump in my throat when I noticed that it wasn't long until sunset.

"Spot, I can't, I have to go," I said.

Spot didn't reply, and just kept on walking. I had no choice but to walk with him to the docks. It was empty – nobody around to witness the death of Spot Conlon, except for one man who looked a lot like one of Ned's spies. Hell, it probably was.

I felt as nervous as ever as we walked on the dock, listening to birds flying by above. We stopped near his perch (where Ned's spy was standing) and Spot sat down and hung his legs over the side. I reluctantly joined him, and could feel something wet on my leg. From rolling down the hill and being cut by the blade in my shoe, I reminded myself.

I shivered at the mere thought of the blade and hung my head. The sun was going down, and Spot looked peaceful, even with blood here and there.

I can't kill him, I thought, looking over at him. He deserves to live more than I do. I should take my own life instead of Spot's…its just better that way.

"Look at da sun," Spot said, nodding towards the big, orange ball in the sky.

I looked out at it, and sighed in misery when it was nearly set. I bent down slightly, and reached for the dagger. I pulled it out, without Spot noticing, and hid it behind my leg. I gulped and kept my gaze on the river below.

"Get out of here, Spot," I whispered.

Spot looked over at me, puzzled, and chuckled. "What?" he asked.

"Just do it," I said.

Spot raised his eyebrows and leaned back slightly. "Gettin tired of me, Parker?" he asked.

"There's no time for jokes, Spot, just go!" I hissed.

Spot cocked an eyebrow as I slowly rose to my feet, the dagger now hidden behind my back, and watched as Spot rose too. I felt something wet hit my cheek, and looked up to watch the dense, threatening clouds burst out into tears. I blinked to get the water out of my eyes, and looked over at Spot.

"What's goin on, Anomie?" he asked.

"Just trust me when I say I'd never hurt you…"

Spot blinked a few times, and I was glad he couldn't see the tears mixing with the rain. He stepped forward and kissed me in the rain, and I can't lie; it's the best feeling anyone will ever experience.

He slowly pulled away and turned around, walking away. I closed my eyes shut and exposed the dagger.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't want to murder you. I didn't want to murder anyone."

I threw the dagger with as much force as I could summon, and the dagger was embedded in his head. He froze in shock and looked at me in surprise. I wiped at the rain and tears on my face and watched him.

He brought his hand up to the dagger, eyes wide, and closed his eyes. The spy dropped dead…

Next Chapter: Anomie feels broken now that she is a murderer again. Cadince and Jack meet up again.

Author note: Well, I hope you liked it. Very genius, no?