Regina tried to convince herself they were not trying to get pregnant, but who was she kidding? They were trying. Robin hadn't kept his hands off of her since her period had ended. So needless to say Regina was very disappointed to find that her period had returned a month later. She had hoped that she was pregnant. She told herself over and over again to stop worrying about it and hat it would happen for them, but she kept thinking that maybe the potions delayed effect on her body would have caused damage. She pushed through the thought of it and tried to focus on the task before her, Zelena. Her envy ridden sister had a plan to open a time portal to the past to kill Snow White's mother, but she needed one more ingredient, Snow and Charming's unborn child.
Regina ran her hands over her face and sighed. Time was definitely not on their side. Snow's due date quickly approached with each passing day and Regina was nowhere close to figuring out how to stop Zelena. Robin and his men took to the forests to set a perimeter around the town and watch for the the witches minion monkeys. She was grateful he returned to her bed each night.
She flipped through the pages of the book on her desk to find a way to trap Zelena, but nothing jumped out at her. She sighed and dropped her head to the book.
"Giving up already, are we?" a voice spoke. Regina rose her head to find Emma standing in the doorway holding two root beers and a paper sack.
"This book is useless, as are the others." She said motioning to the books scattered around the office.
"Regina, how about you take a break. I brought lunch from Granny's" Regina eyed the bag. "It's not lasagna, yours is far better than hers."
"How do you know? You've never had my lasagna, but not that I don't agree with you."
"Henry brought me some for lunch once at the station. It is the best I've tasted." She said and sat the bag in front of Regina. Regina peeked into the bag and was impressed at its contents.
"A salad and turkey club. You pay attention well." She said and pulled out the sandwich.
"You never eat anything remotely good and you eat like a bird." Emma scoffed and sat down in the chair. Regina shoved the book away and placed her lunch in its place.
"We need more time." She said. "None of these books have anything close to something we can use. I doesn't help that the baby will be here anytime. Why does all of this stuff always have to do with a Charming child? No offense."
"None taken, but you don't get why Regina? I find that hard to believe." Emma said, crossing her arms.
"Please, enlighten me. "
"Me and that baby? We are products of True Love. I've been told since I got here that True love is the most powerful magic. Though I find that hard to believe. Henry had mentioned soulmates, and I would think that soulmates would have the most powerful magic. But alas I'm just a beginner sorceress, what do I know?" she said, shrugging her shoulders.
"What did you say?" Regina asked.
"What? Oh, the soulmates thing? I was just spitting out crap. I mean it's not like it actually exists. Two people specifically made for just each other, please."
"With everything you've seen you are still so blind."
"But it doesn't exist!"
"Emma, you are talking to who you grew up believing was a fairy tale character and you are claiming that soulmates don't exist."
"Touché. Well I mean, that would have to be my parents to, wouldn't it? So we are back at square one."
"Not exactly. Your parents have True Love. They chose one another out of their overwhelming love for each other, even when your father was engaged to someone else. They were always destined to be together. Their meeting changed fate for them. Soulmates have no choice. Once they meet, they are drawn to that person an only that person. Many people go through their lives never finding their soulmate and find love in other places but never get that feeling of being complete." Regina explained. Emma sighed.
"That still doesn't help us."
"Would you let me finish for once in your life?" Regina scolded.
"Sorry."
"As I said, many people never find their soulmate, but a pair of soulmates do exist here in Storybrooke."
Emma jumped from her chair. "We have to find them!"
"Miss Swan, listen to yourself! You're so quick to take another woman's child to take the place of your mothers?" Emma realized what she was doing and slumped back into the chair.
"Oh my god. I can't believe I thought that."
"It's fine. The child doesn't even exist."
"Why not?"
"Because I haven't had it."
"Oh, I see…wait did you just say you haven't had it?" Emma asked.
"I did."
"Wait, so the story you told me in Neverland? Robin is the guy with the Lion tattoo?" Emma asked. Regina nodded.
"He is. I found saw the tattoo just after you came back with Henry. I was so afraid of it. Before you got Henry to break the curse, he had no idea who I was other than the Evil Queen, but he didn't see that. He was willing to help me find Zelena."
"Wow. Did you guys know each other in the forest during the year?" she asked.
"We did, but I found him very annoying but I was beginning to see past his arrogance and disregard for me. After all I apparently did kill his wife. I have no memory of it, but I had so many people killed during those times, I didn't take names. I was so bent on revenge I didn't care who they were If they got in my way they died." Regina shuddered. She hated to admit those things outloud. She had tried so hard to change.
"Hey, you are not that person anymore. You have changed and have found love. I hate that you can't create that child though. With the potion you told me about." Emma said with a look of sympathy. Regina smiled and shook her head.
"The potion no longer works."
"What?"
"The potion, Gold gave it to me. It has a limited effect on it, but with my original curse, time stopped and the potion was in a stalemate. I assumed that the potion just continued working. I got my first period in 30 years two months ago."
"So.. are you guys…" Regina smiled and her cheeks began to turn pink.
"We are telling ourselves that we aren't but we are. I told him we could wait until this whole mess was over but he told me that he couldn't wait to see me pregnant with our child. And honestly, I can't either. But I'm afraid it won't happen. Belle has told me she thinks I'll get pregnant quickly, but I'm afraid that with the potion being in that stalemate that it could have done permanent damage. I really want this. I have regretted the decision I made all those years ago. And the decision I made before I took that potion." Regina told her. Tears began to form in her dark eyes and she choked out a sob.
"Regina are you okay?" Emma asked. Regina nodded.
"I haven't told anyone what I'm about to tell you. I told Belle part of it, but I didn't tell her what really happened. I feel like I can tell you this I don't know why, but I trust you." Regina said and waved her hand over the office.
"What's that?" Emma asked.
"Just a silencing spell."
"Oh."
"When I married Leopold, I was just barely 17 years old. I was aching because of what my mother had done to Daniel. My heart felt as if it were torn in two. I believe that Daniel had been my true love. Leopold, was not the man Snow claimed him to be. But Snow, didn't see the man I did. He took a child as his bride, a girl barely 4 years older than his own daughter. One our wedding night I was terrified. I had never been with a man before and he was not gentle. He ripped away my innocence that night and before he left me to be cleaned he whispered in my ear that he would plant his son in me if it were the last thing he ever did. For two years, night after night he would come to my bed and each night I would bleed from the force he used on me. It was never easy. Each time my period would come the angrier he got at me and began calling me to his chambers during the day to take me in his bed. His healers told him to give it time and that I was still young. He left me alone. Then my period stopped but I refused to believe it. I had morning sickness but still I refused to believe that I had become pregnant. I could imagine the child of that filthy man growing within me. I hoped that I would miscarry the child, or that I would die with the child never leaving my womb. It wasn't until I felt the child move within me that I fully accepted that I was pregnant. I hid it. I hid the pregnancy for months. I was just starting to learn concealment charms so I hid the belly that had formed. I still didn't want the child. I contemplated throwing myself down the stairs. It wasn't until Snow had called me Mother, that I had the courage to asked Gold for his help. I left the palace on a relaxing trip, as per the Kings healers suggested, and went to Gold's castle. There he gave me a potion that would induce early labor. He told me my child would not survive long after the birth. I labored for 2 days. Gold helped me as I writhed in pain to give birth. Then he came. I had expected the child to not be breathing or make a sound, but he cried. Gold went to take him from me but I asked to see him. He said it wouldn't be wise but I didn't care. The moment that little boy was placed on my chest I regretted what I had done. He was a beautiful little boy, so tiny. As he began to struggle to breathe, I begged him to stay with me and had begged Gold to save him, but he couldn't. He died in my arms. My little prince, my Adam. Gold took him from my arms and I cried for 2 days grieving the boy I had willing put to death. I am an evil person. Gold gave me the potion to stop further pregnancies when I left his castle."
"Regina…." Emma spoke softly. She had no idea what to say. Regina's body shook with sobs, to the point that she began to cough. Emma stood and went to her, hugging the woman to her.
"What if all the progress I've made, doesn't make up for the fact that I killed my baby?"
"Regina, you live in a world where women do what you did on a daily basis. You are a changing and becoming a better person. You deserve your happy ending." Emma told her.
"He never knew."
"What?"
"Leopold, he never knew I bore his son until I was standing over him about to take his life."
"From what you've told me, he didn't deserve to know him."
"He was so beautiful, Emma. I would do everything in my power to take it all back."
"I know, but you cant. So let's focus on what we can do. Save my brother." Emma said.
"How do you know it's a boy?"
"I just do, I knew Henry was a boy. So lets work together to make sure that my brother doesn't end up in the hands of that bitch." Emma said and picked up a book and began looking through it.
Regina chucked and wiped the tears from her face She had hated that insufferable woman but as the years past the girl grew on her and reminded Regina of herself in her younger years. Regina picked up the book once more and set to work.
