Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist is not mine, nor are the characters. Used without permission, no money is being made.

Warnings: This fic contains the sexual assault of a minor. Please do not read if the previous offends or in any other way upsets you.


Frater Certamen

There were plenty of drawbacks to being practically immortal. Boredom, Envy decided, was the worst. Of course, it wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't stuck in some backwater town in the middle of nowhere. He didn't even have Lust to keep him company - no she got to actually tail after those stupid brats. He just had to hang around their stupid home town and pick up information. Since when had he been regulated to a fucking beagle? He couldn't even kill anyone while he was here, and he was supposed to blend in. It wasn't fair.

Besides all of that, he hated this place. He hated the streets, he hated the people and he hated the buildings. That bastard had lived here, him and his perfect little family. Just the thought of it was enough to make Envy's blood boil. Sometimes he would pass by certain places and his fists would clench and his lips would turn up in a sneer because he could just see that fucking maggot and his stupid whore frequenting it.

He didn't feel like he needed to be here. The brats weren't going to come back here, any idiot could see that. But all his protests had been ignored. He was half-convinced this was just to keep him out from underfoot and away from her precious little alchemists. What did she think he was going to do? Kill them or something?

Okay, so it was probably a valid concern. But they didn't need them. There were hundreds of other alchemists out there. So they'd been stupid and performed human transmutation, so what? So they were looking for the Philosopher's Stone, big deal. He was sick and tired of her acting like they were special.

Frustrated and angry, Envy sulked at the bar of the one pub in town, nursing a drink that didn't do anything for him. It didn't help matters that the whole stupid town was all excited over some kind of dumb festival that was happening the next day. These farming communities had about a dozen different kinds of celebrations, and they all revolved around planting. He'd already had half a dozen people bugging him about it and telling him he shouldn't miss it. They all thought he was a traveling musician - it had been the first that came to mind as an excuse to why he was passing through, and nobody questioned his strange clothes with that in mind. Luckily they didn't ask for any proof of this. He supposed he could probably coax some semblance of a song from a piano - he had dim memories of playing the piano - but he didn't want to.

He'd learned a few things, at least. He wasn't going back empty handed. The little idiots had burnt down their house - which had been disappointing. Envy had been looking forward to destroying it himself. He'd gone to the ruins and picked through them, out of some morbid curiosity. He'd had to leave pretty quickly, though. That stupid automail mechanic had shown up and asked what he was doing there. He'd lied well enough - just curious, really, he'd seen the ruins and was poking around for anything salvageable - but he hadn't wanted to stick around after that.

He'd leave after the harvest festival. He didn't care if she didn't want him back yet, he was leaving. He was bored and restless and feeling trapped. And he knew it was too much to hope that the old bastard would wander back - and he had hoped, in the beginning, because killing him would have been worth the trip.

The evenings were long here, fading slowly into a blue-grey night. Envy found himself passing by the ruins of the burnt down Elric place one more, without thinking of it. He had lived here. Envy walked among the rubble, toeing a burnt beam here and a shattered chair there. In the cover of darkness he almost shifted. He almost slid back into his true form, the one he'd been born with. But he didn't give in to the temptation. Instead he continued to prod at the rubble. What ashes made up the things that had been his? Envy crouched, his hands sliding through the silt and ash that lingered. He didn't really want to be here, but he found himself drawn to the place all the same. And it hurt and he hated it and he wanted to take what was left of the place and destroy them completely.

"You're here again."

Envy leapt up, glaring as he turned. He hadn't done much to change his usual appearance - all he'd really done was trade in his kilt for a pair of pants. He wasn't under watchful eyes here, he wasn't going to go to any great lengths to hide his usual face. Besides, it wasn't like he couldn't just shift into someone else completely if he had to.

It was the stupid automail mechanic again. She was bundled up against the cool night air in an oversized blue sweater, and she had a dog with her. Fuck! What the hell was she doing here? At least it was dark and she was down the hill from him, and probably hadn't seen him change.

"Yeah," he said, not exactly up to sharp wit at the moment. "So?"

"You really shouldn't trespass…." she said, her blue eyes narrowed some.

"Trespass?" Envy scoffed. "It's a pile of burnt down rubble!"

"It's a home!" the girl exclaimed, lunging forward almost angrily. Envy raised his eyebrows in surprise at her. What the hell was her problem? It hadn't been a home in a while, any idiot could see that.

"No, it's not," he protested, rolling his eyes. "Not anymore, anyway." But he was upsetting her, and if he pissed her off she'd probably make a big stink in town. "Look, it's not like I'm hurting anything."

"Just leave it alone!" she went on, her arms wrapped around herself and her eyes shiny. Shit, was she going to cry?

"Okay, okay, fine!" Envy threw up his hands and stepped out of the rubble, shaking his head. What a pain in the ass. "There, look, I'm leaving it alone."

"Thank you. You're that man who's staying in town, aren't you?" she questioned, peering carefully at him.

"Uh, yeah." Why was she still talking to him? He knew she was potentially useful - she was the little brats' friend, after all - but Envy only had so much patience and it had been wearing thin all day.

"Why do you keep coming here?" she asked, her head titled to the side and her yellow hair falling into her eyes. He just shrugged.

"Why do you keep coming here?" he countered. She shrugged right back at him. She looked miserable and Envy wanted to get the hell away. He wasn't in the mood to fuck with her head, even though it was a temptation.

"I knew the people that lived here," she said, finally. Envy looked up at her. She was still talking. At least she was talking about things he was supposed to know about. Not that he really wanted to hear some tearful recollection of the dumb brats at the moment.

"They bite it in the fire?" he asked, casually. That would have been a fitting end for them, he felt. Too bad it hadn't happened that way.

"No." The girl shook her head, her ponytail swinging.

"So why are you so weepy about it?" Envy pushed, tossing his head. Humans were weak anyway, but the girls were the worst.

"I should get back home," she said, instead of answering him. "Are you coming to the harvest festival?"

Why did everybody ask him that? It wasn't like he had a choice at this point.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, I guess I'll see you there, then." She offered him a trembling smile. Envy just stared at her as she turned and jogged back down the road, the dog at her feet. That had been weird.

He didn't need to sleep. He pretended to, for the sake of passing as a normal human, but he didn't sleep. He lay on the bed with his hands clasped behind his head, staring at the ceiling. If he had slept, he would have been pissed off at how early things started. The sun was hardly up and he could already hear people yelling and running in the street below.

He bypassed breakfast - what did he need it for? - and wandered outside. It was all so damn provincial. He expected it to be, though. He'd wandered around the same sort of deals in Dublith before. Trying to keep up the whole idea of 'blending in', he'd thrown a long black jacket over his pants and shirt. He didn't feel the cold, but humans did.

That was it. He was leaving tomorrow. The stupid brats weren't coming back, and he wasn't learning anything useful. She could bitch and whine all she wanted, but he was sick and tired of this.

After an hour on the streets, he was already bored out of his wits. Did people really enjoy looking at giant pumpkins and crap like that? He kicked at the dirt of the main road, ignoring what was going on around him. He almost didn't hear a high pitched, feminine voice yelling behind him.

"Hey! Hey! Are you even listening? Hello!"

"Eh?" Envy turned. Oh. It was the blond mechanic. Great, he had a friend.

"I was calling you!" she said, trotting up to him. She was in jeans and another over-sized sweater.

"Oh. I wasn't paying any attention." Why would he be? What did she want, anyway?

"Are you having fun?" she asked, brightly. Great. She was trying to be friendly.

"No," Envy answered, without even thinking.

"Well, it's only just started." She grinned at him. "Come on, you've got to taste Mrs Madison's apple cider." And then she was tugging on his hand and Envy had to fight the urge to fling her away. He didn't like it when humans touched him - the only one that could get away with it was her, and that was different. And she was hauling him down the road, chattering incessantly as she did so.

How the hell was he going to get rid of her? He couldn't stand humans as it was, and this one was particularly aggravating. Especially when she started talking about the stupid brats. Envy suppressed a growl as she rattled on about Edward, the fucking alchemical golden boy.

Envy didn't talk. He had nothing to say that wouldn't get him slapped or thrown out of town. He sneered silently as she rambled, darting from stall to stall and pushing various sweets onto him.

She sure sounded enthusiastic about the fullmetal brat. Envy smirked to himself. He bet they'd played doctor behind the bushes when they were little. Did she lift up her skirt for him? Did she…

"What are you smiling about?"

Envy blinked, losing his train of thought. "Nothing," he said with a dismissive shrug. She was smiling at him, though. She was always smiling at him. At least she wasn't pissed off over last night at the ruins.

The day stretched on. Envy didn't even know what he was doing half of the time. All he knew was that he'd somehow ended up with a fourteen year old girl attached to his hand. One that just. Wouldn't. Shut. Up. About. Fullmetal. He wanted to smack her or strangle her or something. She was probably wishing that stupid brat was with her right now. And what would she have done, if he was? Envy was half tempted to come back and find out. Would she giggle and blush over him? Maybe she'd even drag him off for a little naughty play. The thought made Envy sick.

Eventually evening fell and Envy forced himself to eat and tables were cleared away in the square for the harvest dance. Envy tried to slip away, but found himself unable to. He was herded along with the rest of the young people - he was four hundred years old, damnit! Just because he looked eighteen didn't mean he was! This was it. He'd had enough.

"Alright, I'm getting out of here," he told Winry - he'd heard her damn name shouted enough times over the day that he doubted he'd ever forget it. "I need some air, or something."

"Oh, okay." Winry nodded and followed after him. What the hell was wrong with her? Envy gritted his teeth and stalked off into the shadows, the blond mechanic following after like some sort of eager puppy.

"Edward never liked crowds either," she said, tossing her ponytail. Envy growled low under his breath. If he had to hear one more word about fucking Edward, he was going to scream. It was always Edward this and Edward that, and Edward was gone and the stupid little bitch was still going on about him!

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Envy snapped. He was tired of playing nice - not that he'd been doing a very good job of it anyway.

"No. You know… you sort of remind me of him…"

That was it. Envy whirled on her, his eyes flashing. "Shut. Up. About. Edward!" he hissed, grabbing her about the shoulders. He just wanted her to shut up. She looked up at him with wide eyes, and Envy tensed. He couldn't hurt her. He'd be in trouble if he hurt her. But he'd grabbed her, and there she was, a scared fourteen year old girl staring up at him in confusion. He did the only thing he could possibly think of to do.

He kissed her. He kissed her because she wouldn't shut up about Fullmetal, and he wanted to rip that name right out of her throat. He didn't want her, not really, but she was Fullmetal's but for a brief moment she was Envy's, because it was Envy kissing her in the long shadow of a tree in Risembool. And she was kissing him back, awkwardly and hesitantly and he could tell she'd never been kissed before. He pushed her back against the tree and held onto her tightly and her lips tasted like apple pie and chocolate and she was soft and warm. He could have her, take her away from her precious Edward. He pinned her against the tree, pressing against her and kissing her hungrily. And she moved against him jerkily, a young girl who didn't know quite what she was doing, but that made it all the better. Because he was claiming her. She was his now, because he was kissing her and holding her and pressing his erecction against her. His tongue invaded her mouth and she made a small noise into him, and his hands moved down to the front of her sweater, over the small rounds of her young breasts, bunching up her sweater as he squeezed them and she moved more firmly against him and...

"What are you doing?" And she was pulling away and slapping him, her cheeks flushed and her eyes angry.

"What do you think I'm doing?" he asked, glaring right back. "Come on, you've been following me around all day, then you come out here with me, you kiss me…" What the hell had she been planning on doing? Talking? She would have let Edward feel her up. She probably would have let Edward fuck her, right there against that tree. Envy clenched his fists and stared at her, wanting again to strangle her.

"I didn't…you… just get away!" Winry tugged her sweater back down, her face still angry. Envy only shrugged, a sharp movement.

"Fine." Dumb bitch. It wasn't like he'd even done anything to her! Stupid little brat. He turned away and stalked off without another word, leaving her standing there huffing and glaring.

At least now he could drop this stupid charade and go home.