Chapter nine:
Rose's once exhausted state of mind was now plunged into some sort of exhilaration. She had awoken that morning, after failing to do much sleeping at all. Her dreams were plagued by him. Her stomach was an absolute riot. Jack Dawson seemed to have overtaken much of her entire life in two short days. She had seen the dawn break hours ago from the window, which had brought a grey sky, with thick dark clouds which hung about the sky like a fog. The humidity of the spring sunshine in comparison with the rain had combined to cause a turbine of weather. Matching her emotions.
Rose had agreed to spend the day with Jack. The intention of doing so had been unclear. Their intentions to the other were just as unknown. So that was all that she could do...enter the unknown.
She had opened the heavy wooden door at which he had left her the evening before to find him there: dressed, bathed, shaved. She was to ask how he had managed to. Where he had stayed. How had he slept? But then, something prompted her to ask…
"Where...have you slept out here all night?"
Jack's mouth set straight. She couldn't help but notice the absence of hair growth above his lips. Across his chin. She could recall how that felt across her own delicate skin the day before when he had kissed her, and felt a blush spread across her cheeks without needing to even see her own face.
"Yeah, the rain came down after I left. And...I didn't want to leave you alone. I stayed out here."
Rose parted her lips to speak when he started to.
''Rose…''
How he spoke. Across Rose's whole-body, goose bumps appeared across her flesh beneath the ill-fitted dress. Butterflies took flight within her stomach, fluttering as though they had contained for over a decade and now, they had their freedom… finally.
His lips formed her name expressively, and Rose opened her mouth for a word that she could not produce. She told herself that she needed to move, meet him halfway, but her feet remained glued to the spot where she stood. Her eyes filled with tears that just wouldn't shed. Her heart hammered. Dropped. Twisted. Breathing was painful, heavy and restricted, and that was with her loosened corset. She needed to cross the threshold of the door. Of the room. To step out with him. She felt him step closer, and heard his breathing. Two hands, shaking, came to her waist and then she was falling into him, unable to stop herself. Falling into his body, into his arms. Jack moved his hand to her hair. It fell down, cascading down her back as the pins popped out one by one, because she had been unable to insert them securely enough to bind her hair as it usually was. Rose's eyes bore into him, staring as if she didn't believe that he was here. That there had truly been such a shift. He had softly asked her, " Do you trust me enough to come with me?"
She nodded. Her hand in his. Trusting. Always.
The walk out into the cool morning air was a complete blur to her, until she seemed to finally gain her senses as another flash of lightning came across the sky and it was then, both saw just that laid out before them was a gravelly beach, leading down to the rolling waves of the sea. Rose shuddered inside, how could she even begin this dangerous game? How could she stand by the ocean when it was so angry, without the ability to swim? How could she trust it? How could she trust him?
Raising her chin to meet the eyes of the ocean; she held her breath as though waiting for some calling from beyond to cease her actions but instead of retreating inwards, she longed to reach out for the waves to caress her aching soul. Perhaps even soothe away the riotous nerves. Deep inside her soul, Rose felt a fire begin there in the pits of her stomach and flare outwards, coursing through her veins and accelerating her heart, her breathing and her entire being. Adrenaline...
She longed to go to the waves. With Jack. Longed to feel how it would lap against her dress before soaking it through. The chilling wind ripped through the air, screaming to be heard over the sound of the thunderous waves that crashed into each other creating a massive swirl of frothing water. Every few minutes, there was an explosion of thunder that shook the sea bed. Sea spray was thrown to the heavens only to fall down again, indistinguishable from the rain that was fired into the freezing water. Waves loomed over the crumbling rocks nearby, dwarfing the cliffs. Through the oppressive rain and cloud, a shuddering light struggled to illuminate the headland for any ships unfortunate enough to be caught in the storm. It had been going on for hours, and who was to say that it wouldn't continue for many more. The cool winds whistled around every rock and under every doorway. On the shore, waves crash against rocks and onto the sand, shattering shells with its immense pressure. The sound of rain now overpowered the quieting rumble of thunder. Rays from the sun pushed through the cloud and released the shadow from the sea. Wind still pulled at the sea, splashing waves upon the shore, making pebbles jerk against one another. The trees released tension from their exhausted roots. Birds finally ventured out into the unsteady weather after their long wait for food.
And then, Rose stood facing Jack, with the rocky beach beneath her feet, just as the rain had come to a stop. They were damp, but not wet through. But there wasn't a care about them both. This time, at the beach, beneath the grey clouds, it felt different to the last, even though she was filled with the same hesitancy. The same fear of falling. Of the unknown intimacy which existed there between the two of them. She listened to her own heartbeat and how it urged to trust even though it was terrified to. Time with the other seemed to stand still and yet fly past with the blink of an eye. Time between them had always been in measures before she thought of having to return to her world, but now it seemed timeless. Perhaps that was because she was allowing it to be. Today at least. Because they would only have today.
''Have you ever danced?'' Jack's blue eyes were warm, against the coolness of the brisk winds. She didn't know what hour it was. She could only glance down at her attire of a terribly overgrown sack of a dress. The material was soft against her skin, but not half as thick as the starched collared dress which she was due to sail to New York in. It wasn't as detailed in finery. It wasn't really anything but plain. Panic in her eyes dissolved into a curious rush of heat.
''Of course.''
Her blue eyes were smudged with faint lavender shadows and her soft looking lips were pressed into a tight seam. Her hair was somewhat idly shining down her back, and the feel of the unrestricted ensemble seemed to complete her current careless nature. There was still an air of rigidness about her. As though she had to recall her station. Her place in this world was above him. But she had forgotten, especially as he had kissed her. The first man to have ever put his lips to hers, and he wasn't her fiance. He wasn't really anything but beautifully distracting. The long-legged stride towards her was enough to cause goose bumps to appear across her bare arms. Determined. Certain.
Out of the blue. That was the turn of events. A new beginning, a new chapter of her life. Eyes were wide shut, completely unaware of the energy which was coursing through her. She felt renewed. As soon as he had sight of her, she felt on fire, burning. There was no way that she could fight the emotions, the way her destiny was currently being controlled. He was glowing. The world had turned to dust, gathering into specks about her and the once wondrous ocean disintegrated into nothing and he emerged...colour was in the world once more. Fighting was pointless, for she had lost control of it the day before. For one day, she would give in. Allow herself to feel.
Rose was an innocent, a girl unopened to the wonders of the world, whilst trapped in a small bracket which was enough to make her once wish to succumb to suicide. She had contemplated it many times as a means of escaping the dark clutches of Society. Then, a pair of cornflour eyes had filled her universe. A pair of hands had caught her when in need, breaking a long fall into an unknown territory. Ears had listened with such fascination. Eyes had watched her. Just as they did now…
''I promised you a dance.''
Rose's eyes were still. ''But, it is about to rain, again.''
If it was a way of a protest, then it was a feeble one.
"Dance with me," Jack surprised her by murmuring. Rose shook her head with a little laugh.
"I don't know how."
''You don't need to know any steps.'' Jack stood behind her and crossed his arm around her front, drawing her back against him. Another surprise. She had never had a man to touch so openly. But amid the goings on, she seemed unable to concentrate. His voice was hot and soft in her ear. "When you think, you can't feel what you really want to feel. Just go with it.''
Rose could only nod, feeling how her feet dug into the sand with her shoes still on her feet. Above them, rain threatened and the rumbling of the thunder was imminent.
"Come on," he murmured, and hooked his hand around her waist to urge her forward. Rose followed him shyly, fascinated by a side of him she hadn't seen before. She wouldn't have expected him to be this self-assured, drawing her into the dance with animal grace, watching her with a wicked gleam in his eyes. He coaxed her with his arms, as she stepped into them. They moved slowly, Rose seeming to mould to Jack's body. Rose could feel her heart thudding in her ears, the beat growing faster every time Jack tightened his grip. Their faces weren't touching, and they simply gazed at each other. Suddenly, the rain was falling and it came down in giant, cool droplets, licking across her face and seeping into her dress so fast before she could stop it. Jack's shirt was soaked through, clinging to each and every part of his torso and contouring itself in such an indecent way that she could only guess that her own dress was just the same. She couldn't seem to stop giggling. They were dancing, and he was so good at it, turning it into a cat-and-mouse game. She twirled in a circle, and he caught her around the waist, pulling her close for one scalding moment. The scent of his skin, the movement of his chest against hers, filled her with intense desire. Leaning his forehead against hers, Jack stared at her until she was drowning in the depths of his eyes, as dark and bright as hellfire.
"Kiss me," she whispered unevenly, not caring where they were or who might see them. She had never demanded such a thing before.
A smile touched his lips.
Rose flinched away from him, a playfulness stabbing at her belly. ''Come catch me then!''
Rose was playing with him; the devilish streak which he had discovered existed within her more than once. She disappeared further towards the sand and then he saw her shadow once more.
''I thought you were coming to catch me. I thought you would be fast!'' She called, quickly stopping a way from him to discard her shoes and throwing them into the boggy sand, completely forgotten. She went further towards the water, screaming her delight as she went, with the hems of her dress tangled within her fingers and the contrast of her white fiery curls to the paleness of her dress amongst the grey day caused Jack to ache. She was beautiful.
''If I catch you then you will be going into the water!''
Rose squealed again, turning to him, from afar, and he walked towards her slowly. ''No I will not.''
''Yes, you will.''
The feeling building up inside his stomach, Jack couldn't take it much more as his heart was beating heavily in his chest. Crossing the sand, feeling it sink beneath his determined feet, Rose saw and quickly moved closer to the surf and squealed like a child about to be caught. Her laughter sang its way across the empty beach and it was that which made Jack tenderly catch her hand and crushed his lips to hers as he pressed her forehead against her own. He could taste the sweat on her face as he ran both of his hands down the curve of either side of her body, not in a greedy way but in a tender and heartwarming stroke. Their eyes found each other's eyes in the daze of the passion within burnt brightly.
''I've caught you.''
''Now you have to let me go.'' Rose whispered.
''I can't. You have the spirit of a drifter…'' Jack smiled, ''You would learn to survive.'' It was as though he was convincing her to stay with him, there, but she couldn't give into the urges. She fought them.
''Is that how you came to be a good swimmer?'' She asked, changing the subject.
''No, that was from falling into too many sheets of thin ice, from falling into the river fishing as a kid, and from swimming in the surf in California.'' He smiled, and she felt his hand stroke up again. The empty spaces within her stomach felt whole somehow when he watched her, talked to her, filled her with such hope.
''I have never swam.''
Jack moved his hands, slowly, downwards, and placed them at her waist ever so gently and she trembled as they snaked down the silhouette of her dress. She had told him the day before that she had never taken a swimming lesson.
''I can show you, if you like.'' Before she could respond, he continued, ''The water would need to be about here.'' He tapped her waist and then held her there, steadily. ''I would hold you, then you would kick your legs out and move your arms. When you felt confident enough, I would let you go...'' Jack's hands moved from her waist, and one tucked back within his pocket.
''What if I didn't want you to?''
When Rose breathed, she took him in and slowly, she was drowning...
Rose saw how heavily he swallowed, moving his hair from his eyes which had fallen out of style from the rain slicking it back so that she could truly see his face. Intensely, he concentrated on how serious her face had grown. ''It wouldn't be up to me to save you, though. Only you could do that. Only you can change that.''
It was suddenly clear that they were no longer talking about swimming. About anything other than them. She had told him the day before that it wasn't up to him to save her, and now, she was in his arms. She could only lean herself against his shoulder, feeling his tenseness through the soaked shirt.
Even if the rain subsided now, even if the sea turned into a tsunami, it wouldn't deter them from their own world. A world which they had created entirely for the two of them. Their own little reverie was beyond possible. He was incoherent to anything else. He was unsure of how to touch her, but yet he knew just what to do. The conflictions of an eternity were startling. Glancing to the sky, he found that it was black. Horrid. Bleak. Lethargically, Rose lifted her head from his shoulder, her hair a blanket about them as it stuck to her face, her chest...all over. Suddenly, she was in his arms, cradled like a child and she held onto him for dear life. He was strong; holding her weight effortlessly and she felt how tense he was beneath the outer layers of his clothes. They should have been shivering, perhaps they were, but the quivers of nerves caused the coldness to disintegrate into nothing. Swollen lips turned up into a smile, and slowly, without warning, he kept moving forward until the water was up to his legs, without even so much of a flinch. Stripped down, without care. When the splashes hit her legs, her back, her belly, Rose gasped but had no time to think as Jack's mouth was on hers in the most precious, claiming way. It was intoxicating how a man could kiss with such love and affection present there within the way he massaged her tongue and explored her in a way that before that moment, had never been done.
Jack's shoulders were strong, making it easier for her to cling, to clutch his shirt and massage her fingernails into it, leaving lovers' marks all the way across his body, without even meaning to. Now, they frolicked in the sea,; their bodies open to it. The water lapped against their skins. Jack's eyes, beneath the deeply blackened horizon, was glimmering with sensuality and his lips moved across her cheek causing flares of fire to spiral throughout her entire nervous system as though she had been hurled upside down. Suddenly, she was submerged into the sea. Water came completely about her, and she was absolutely terrified until a pair of arms came to her waist and held onto her. The waves could only woosh past her.
''Move, Rose, I need you to move, just like I told you to. The weight of your dress will work against you, but you have to push strong and through the waves.''
''I can't.'' She told him, with such terror, he could only soothe her.
''Yes, you can. You can do anything.''
As though the words were completely her saving grace, whilst his hands were holding onto her, Rose slowly lifted her legs, and slowly started to flutter kick her feet, ignoring the way her dress wrapped its way about her legs. Jack gathered the materials of it, floating about them like a ghostly diver and held onto it with his hands still at her waist and as water wrapped its way around her bare legs for the first time, Rose gasped.
''I can move!''
''Yes, now your arms. Swing each one, back over your head and into the water. Your face might go under, so you will need to turn your head to the left or to the right to breath in.''
''Jack, I can't.''
The water seemed to take her with it. Propelling her further towards the sand, whereas Jack was her only anchor to anything. She wasn't cold. She wasn't anything.
''Yes, you can, I have got you. I won't let you go.''
Fuelled with determined fire, Rose moved, just as Jack had instructed. The idea of it terrified her. The feel of his fingers splayed across her back and stomach were the only things which kept her concentration going but then, as quick as she had gained a rhythm of her arms and legs, his hands were gone…
"Jack!" she whispered; with every ounce of her breath, she was capable of finding.
''You're swimming, Rose. Keep going!''
She moved, through fierce waves and as the salty water came almost claiming her, she kept going through the powerful strength whilst her dress floated about her. She thought of discarding it. Of completely losing her own senses.
''I am swimming.'' Oh, how she wished to scream with such delight and then, her body was pressed, sliding against him in the wetness of the waves as he came to swim next to her and she was aware that her feet were no longer able to reach the sand below her. Jack circled her, keeping afloat and his hand came to her waist slightly to keep her there. She should have panicked, glancing momentarily back to the beach which seemed so far away. They seemed so far away. From anything.
