Chapter eleven:

Rose could hear his breathing in the darkness. It was completely silent aside from that. Occasionally, he would shift about and she laid completely still in her rickety bed, not wishing to wake him. Sleep wouldn't come to her very well and she wished to whisper to him, "are you awake?"

The deepness of his breathing answered her question though, he wasn't, at least not for most of the night.

To be alone with another man at night. A man who wasn't even her fiance should have been terrifying, or she should at least be contemplating her reputation. The truth was, that she had never felt safer or even more trusting in another man. It was his breathing which had kept her completely calm; knowing that he was as awake as she was but there wasn't a single word exchanged between them both. As she laid, the unsettled feeling stirring within her belly was causing it to turn over just like her first bout of seasickness which had come in waves the first evening aboard Mauretania. There was a thrum of giddiness within her though. The melancholy blues which had clouded her existence since boarding the ship to come to Europe, and which had lingered with her at times until now, seemed to have shifted, or was at least temporarily put away into a pocket. Her heart seemed to skip a single beat and then hammer four or five times. Palpitations, they were called. For an unknown length, laid within her bed, simply watching the ceiling and listening to the way her heart went, and feeling how her stomach reacted. It had happened the first time upon seeing Jack Dawson intensely watch her with eyes so dazzlingly blue that one had to pull themselves from the depths of drowning because falling into them was never going to be an option. Or so she had believed. That first glance intrigued her. The first time their eyes had locked, on the others, her entire universe had become filled just momentarily. Everything had changed.

And then...then, he had taken her to the beach. To run. To experience that rush. That was the moment her heart had beat for him. Fast. Unsteady. Pacing. Her breathing had started to waver, and within his arms she had found the freedom which she had so craved, for a length that was undetermined. It wasn't just the freedom, but the way of life entirely. It was completely wild, carefree and the more she had surrounded herself in that existence, the more in which she wished to throw her entire abysmal life away and go with Jack. Run away with the circus. Take another name. Another life. And so, the evening before, she had decided to never return to Caledon Hockley.

Some time must have ticked by, because suddenly, Jack's breathing was deeper and softer. He stopped moving about so much. And she welcomed the silence of the stillness but it did nothing to lull her to sleep.

The rain still tapped upon the thin windows, but it did nothing to disturb Jack's deep sleep. Since he had curled up, on a woollen blanket beside Rose, upon the floor, using his coat as a pillow, he had not moved. Watching the window rattle against the weight of the wind; Rose contemplated just what could happen past today? She started to shiver for a moment and realised the fire had burned out in the grate and they were still wearing somewhat damp clothing.

Jack recalled the silence. The beautiful sounds of Rose's sighs. There were pauses, then his eyes would grow heavy. Sure that her voice had whispered his name, he had tried to remain awake but some minutes after that, he must have fallen asleep. He was awoken by an ice-cold hand at his face, stroking across his forehead and down to his cheeks. The light outside told him that it was daylight.

''Good morning,'' a quiet voice came, completely uncertain ''I didn't wish to wake you.''

A sharp pain crossed his entire neck and back as he realised that he had fallen asleep in possibly the strangest position. The fire in the grate was low and the water on the stove would have grown cold by now.

''Good morning,'' his voice came out in a grumble, but he was furthest from unhappy. Clearing his throat, his eyes opened to find Rose; with just a corset adorning her body, the upper body agape with her bare shoulders exposed. It was a sight to ensure that he was now fully awake as she leant over him; her eyes filled with concern and confusion. He furrowed his brow at her expression.

''What is it?''

Rose straightened, her cheeks flushing. ''I-I have had a little-trouble-'' A foolish frustration escaped her. ''I was cold wearing the dress from yesterday and I cannot get out of this.''

Awareness fell over Jack's stiff body. ''It is all right.''

His eyes didn't waver from hers and she found no hint of pity in them, instead, she found an unfamiliar glint of something.

''It is my corset,'' Rose told him, ''I failed to remove it since Wednesday, and it is still damp from the rain yesterday. I do not wish to catch the death of a cold.''

''Have you worn this for days? Rose, how have you breathed.''

Her cheeks remained flush. ''I am aware that one should at least be able to remove her undergarments without the aid of-'' As soon as Jack went near her, her words were frozen within her throat. Her hands held her chest in place, she found herself starting to shake as he approached her to help. His bare hands near her body were enough to cause her to fall to pieces with nerves. ''Of another person, but I have been so used to the aid of a young woman named Trudy who had dressed me since as long as I can recall.''

''Turn around so that I can see.''

Slowly, she presented him with her back. Bare. Without a stitch beneath it. A loud pound came to her heart, echoing all the way up to her throat as it did. ''I-I cannot reach the buttons and then the laces are completely unfathomable.''

From the waist up, the laces were frayed and pulled. Rose had obviously had a damned good go at removing them and her frustrations were completely inevitable. His fingers reached forward and she could already feel the tremble in them. He brushed against her bare skin as he pulled the dress together at the top to ensure that the laces were all straight and untangled before he started to pull at them, ever so gently and slowly they fell looser and looser. As he tickled against her nape, she gasped, recoiling as he went and her back went ramrod straight.

''Are you all right?'' Jack pulled his hand away at once, sensing her prickle at his touch.

She nodded, swallowing the nerves away. It was as though she had been burnt with hot ash, trickling all the way down her spine and then into her stomach. His touch was like pure magic all the way across her body and even a gasp wasn't enough to let out how much he affected her.

''Yes. Just the cold, I am sorry.''

If he knew the true reason, he would never let on. He tenderly pulled the laces and loosened them one by one.

''You wear this damned thing every day?''

''Yes,'' Rose responded quietly, and she heard his disappointing sigh. Every now and then, she had the same flash when he came into the smallest contact with her skin but she managed to keep it under wraps as she bit at her lips to stop herself from sighing. The calloused fingers were wonderful, tickling as he went downwards. The gentle way of which he pulled at her dress and the whole process felt like a small version of torture. Her body seemed to want to be free of the garment faster than he could manage. The corset felt heavier and heavier against her arms, as it was coming away from her body. The ability to breathe fully once more was yet to return though; for his fingers were freezing her need to take in air. As the last one was fastened, he placed his hands upon her shoulders to turn her about to face him.

''Is that better?''

''Yes, thank you.''

His eyes were a stark blue in the light of day; charged with something which she hadn't witnessed until then. She could tell by the rise and fall of his chest, how he seemed to suppress the need to gasp for more air. Her unsteady hand was suddenly reaching up to his cool face to touch it, almost forgetting that just one hand was holding her breasts in place and her garment from revealing her entire modesty. How was she suddenly so able to stand so tall and unflinchingly ashamed of her lack of clothing in front of a man who she wasn't bound by marriage to?

''When we met, you were unshaven, and then you shaved and now it is growing back leaving a shadow.''

Her hand grew clammy for some reason as it brushed against the stubble. It was fascinating to see a man with facial hair so…natural. Cal never had even grown a slight beard and the ones she had seen, like her fathers moustache, had been preened into shape, length and size each morning by his valet to ensure that it was quite a fashionable state.

''I-'' Rose started, but curiously she found herself following the stubble down his neck. Her hand rested there; flat at the base of his neck and his breathing had swallowed and his heart galloped. ''I can feel your heartbeat.''

Time stood still. Pinned beneath his gaze was the place where she found herself these days the most terrified and yet the freest. Moisture seemed to come to her eyes and she toyed with the idea of removing her hand for fear of what would happen if she kept it right there. Adrenaline seemed to charge her body in some way as though it was bestowing a need within her. It was almost animalistic in nature; a way in which she had never anticipated to feel in her entire life.

Then, the other urge, to run from the room, to dampen her stupid thoughts, but this way she knew he would chase her, find her…

He would never let stray far away; she knew that much. It lit a fire within her which she never thought would be ever ignited. She felt desired...

''I am alive,'' he tried to laugh, to make a joke, but it went flat and his smile faded off. ''I am nervous.''

''Of me?''

''Of you. And you're the most wonderful girl-'' His eyes went heavy lidded as he realised his mistake. ''Woman.''

Rose's heart began to drum with furious force. He approached her slowly. The closer he came, the more it seemed everything around her was unravelling, falling away, leaving her exposed and vulnerable. Jack's breathing wasn't quite steady. Neither was hers. After a long pause, he finally spoke.

"Gypsies believe you should take the road that calls to you, and never turn back. Because you never know what adventures await." He reached for her slowly, giving her every opportunity to object. Rose's throat cinched around a quick breath as she saw his fingertips approaching her cheek.

''Are you suggesting that I become a gypsy?'' Rose was completely confused. ''Or that I should just run away, for the seas, and to never return?''

There was a pregnant pause. All silence seemed to be deafening. Crackling. The air about her seemed to be completely useless and breathing was difficult. It wasn't the strength of her corset stripping away the last remnants of oxygen because she was still clinging to it with clammy hands. His blue eyes pinned her to the spot. His hand tenderly at her cheek. Her stomach was a riot. His lips were set in a straight line, as though he was as troubled as she was.

''No.'' Jack stood, both of his oddly trembling hands upon her cheeks. A grim sigh was exhaled and then she tilted her head, taking in his hauntingly beautiful face and then raised a brow. ''But you did say that you would run away with me.''

Rose wished to smile, but couldn't. Everything about her seemed to be completely fixed in place for a moment. She felt the desire to swim about them once more. Jack's desire seemed to have risen from nowhere and between them the heat seemed to rise and it was then, that all cold that Rose had felt all morning, was all gone. It didn't matter that the fire in the grate was almost out. Her skin burned, tingled, beneath his gaze. Her eyes gathered about his body, slowly down and then back up. A flush came over her from the awareness of her feeling matching his own. His nostrils flared as he concentrated on the steadiness of his own breathing but his racing heart which she felt against her hand betrayed his cool exterior.

''I said that? I don't know if I have already run away but I want us to go places together.''

Both of their defences were down, lowered so far down that they were sharing the same world or so it seemed. Rose was weak against his stare, forever pinned and feeling so utterly exposed beneath it. It was an intoxicating few moments that seemed to go on forever; the wind rattled against the window harshly but it didn't break their moment. A gasp came out, as she felt dizzy. He grasped her hand across his heart, she felt it race more there.

''I forget that I am stood, almost sans of my garments, in an unreputable part of town, in a foreign country, with a man who I have known merely days.''

''Do you trust me?''

''Of course.''

Her eyes questioned his own, but he dismissed it with a lopsided smile which disturbed her senseless.

''What is it?''

Rose didn't dismiss his approaching hand as it ran from the base of her neck up to her cheek.

''I won't touch you anywhere else.'' He noticed the goosebumps appearing across her body.

And she trusted him.

''Rose-,'' he started, but his steel confidence seemed to fade off for just a second until she urged him to speak with a nod. ''Rose, one day I am going to tell you that I have fallen in love with you.''

Her senses were divided in all ways. Beneath the Jack Dawson, she had come to know so well, was an endless beauty which she had failed to see before. He looked broken in a way in which she had never seen before. He was a man who had experienced a past which was lonely and the sincerity within his voice as well as the hesitance warmed her…

''What,'' she whispered, her eyes teary and her stomach soaring. They were the most beautiful words which had ever reached her ears. ''How could you know such a thing now?''

''Because pa always said that you just know. And I know so much that I never knew before.''

The gap between them seemed to be too wide, and they collided, possessively pulling at the other in order to achieve some state of cherishing the other. In the midst of it, their lips found the other, clashing and urging. The urge to remove all layers of clothing and lay unabashedly naked with Jack pulled at her. Instinct was what she followed as her hands were in his hair, pulling at the thin collar of his shirt as something to steady her unsteady legs. How could one even lose sense of their limbs when so engrossed in another person? His shirt was still damp and the growing need to rip it away from him clawed at her but she managed to find some rein on herself.

Jack's stubble brushed against Rose's fair skin, causing a shiver to start there, almost like it caressed her in a way nothing else ever had. His hand came to her waist, to her hip and then it stopped there where it lingered, trembling beneath the remnants of her corset. She sank into him, feeling every inch of his body rest against her as they fell backwards against the door with a loud clatter, both weak and unable to support their own weights any longer. It was as though their knees had turned to jelly. The fact that neither of them had taken a gulp of air for some time didn't seem to matter as Rose pulled Jack to her, his torso rested against her own. Desire flooded her, and she knew that he felt it as well. Perhaps it was that which drove her to the new realms which she had never encountered. It was risky for her to feel about him the way that she did. To give her heart to another; so young and so soon was wrong and yet, right in so many ways.

She had run away with him. And it felt completely right.

Oh, daddy's girl that she had once been was now almost completely ruined. The need to have him closer to her in some damned way made her want to claw at him; the urge was new and tempting to follow and yet, she stopped herself in many ways. Withdrawing herself from him would be very difficult. It seems she was falling into him more with each passing day, sucked into the world further, fully excited and intoxicated by his presence and the way he kissed her.

To gain air, Jack moved to her hair, lighting pressed his nose into her before it was as though the foggy mists of passion cleared away for just a little moment. It was long enough to think clearly for just a moment.

"Come on, we better get ready." Jack pulled back, feeling just how far they had come that morning.

"For what?"

"We're leaving Southampton today."

That was all Rose needed to hear to feel the giddiness arise with her stomach once more.

Today her life was going to change. Forever.