AN: Sorry for the long wait between updates, guys. I appreciate all the reviews! HUGZZ Thanks so much! I think this'll probably end in the next chapter. I have to work on another piece that's been sitting and collecting dust. >.> Sooo... here it is, without further ado. The fourth chapter.
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Don't sue! So there!
Warning: Nothing much. Surprise, surprise.
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"What power has love but forgiveness?
In other words
by its intervention
what has been done
can be undone.
What good is it otherwise?"
-William Carlos Williams
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Chapter Four
It had been weeks since I had last seen Sasuke. I had taken myself on missions that lead me hither-thither throughout the Fire Country on a goose chase for a deadly missing-nin that was plaguing the roads. I eventually found him, dead at the bottom of a cliff with his neck broken. The idiot had been running and not seen where he was going. I grimaced at that very sad yet suitable ending to the villain that had lead me on for so long.
When I got back into the village, I learned of Sakura's and Lee's hasty marriage. I was a bit shocked but at the same time, relieved that she was in better hands now. After what had happened with Sasuke, I really didn't want to think about the pain that this had caused. That would come later, after I saw her. Which I had to do, seeing as I was still her friend.
I showed up at her doorstep with flowers and a gift certificate to a boutique that sold baby clothes. It wasn't much, especially since Sakura had everything she could ever want, but I think it was more about the gesture. I was hoping to extend the olive branch but I knew that she wasn't going to take it unless I addressed what had gone on between me and the bastard.
"Naruto..." Lee muttered after swinging the door open and staring at me in shock for a few moments.
"Hey fuzzy eyebrows, is Sakura-chan home?" I made a point of the prefix in hopes of proving that I was here with good intentions.
His eyes took in my appearance, black sandals, bandaged shins, black pants, thigh holster, black shirt with a bright orange swirl on the front that was barely visible beneath my chuunin vest. He smiled, "Sure. Come in! Come in!"
I entered and smiled, shaking his hand, "Congrats, man."
"Thanks." He said, letting go of my hand. I took the opportunity to kick off my sandals and pad after him, through the hallway and into the kitchen where Sakura sat at the table with scrolls and books scattered about.
She looked up, her verdant eyes widening as I pulled up a chair beside her. "Lee... can you go to the store and-and get... some milk...? I'm craving it..."
"We have milk–"
"Please, I need some milk and I don't think we have enough."
He took a moment to grasp what she really meant, which was 'give us some time alone', but he eventually nodded and left without another word. Neither of us spoke until finally the door slammed closed. Sakura let out a small breath and closed the book she had been writing in. "How are you doing, Naruto?"
I laid my gifts on the table and then leaned back, crossing my arms over my chest. I wanted to just curl up into a ball and not have to deal with this but I knew that avoiding the situation would cause too much damage. I didn't want to lose her friendship, although I knew the chances of me ever gaining her love would never ever come true. "I'm fine. I was busy with a mission."
"And how did it go?"
Accepting neutral territory, I explained the farcical mission to her which left tears in her eyes because she laughed so hard. I hadn't seen her this merry in a long time, which thawed some of the ice around my heart that Sasuke had breathed there. "So... have you seen him since...?"
She shook her head, "No. The village finally gave him permission to go out. ANBU isn't watching him anymore."
"I figured they would do that soon..." I muttered, unable to meet her eyes as I finally breeched the topic that sat between us like a big pink elephant, "You know, I don't want your pity, Sakura."
"I know."
"And I want you to forget about this... I'll admit to you that I love you, that I've loved you since the first day that I laid eyes on you. When I was just a snot-nosed brat with a bad attitude and little to no discipline." I smirked but found myself too scared to meet her eyes, lest I find pity or anger written on her beautiful face, "Even then I think I figured that I was unworthy of you..." I laughed away the bitterness I felt at that confession.
"Naruto..."
I shook my head, hoping she wouldn't interrupt me again because I knew that my courage was crumbling. I had met the most deadliest ninjas head on without a thought, I had almost lost my life dozens of times and although I felt fear, I was never a coward. Before her, admitting things that we had both known for years but never acknowledged was absolutely terrifying. "Please, just listen." I said, glancing as far as her mouth and watched it clamp closed before continuing. "But I would rather... rather have this love go unrequited and be your friend than to be bitter about it and never get to see you again. I want to be there for you guys. I want to teach your brat how to eat ramen. I want to teach him my Sexy jutsu. And if it's a girl, that's fine... I'll teach her how to tie her shoes and defend her from all the boys. I want to be there for you and Lee. I want to know for sure that you are happy– genuinely happy. If you are, then that's enough for me." I said, finally letting the silence settle around us like a heavy cloak.
"Naruto..." her voice shuddered and she launched herself off of the chair, wrapping her arms around my neck. She buried her face in the crook of my neck, dampening my skin with tears and breath. I wrapped my arms tightly around her quivering body and pulled her into my lap, holding her there. I relished in that moment, I admit. This was, I knew, the last time I would ever be able to touch her like this and allow myself to feel this completely in love with her. But she was happy with Lee, and I was fine with that... wasn't I? God, I hoped so.
We pulled apart after what seemed mere seconds. My glimpse into what could have been, might have been, tragically closed like a window slamming shut. I looked at her for the first time since I had made my confession and I smiled because looking back at me was the same Sakura I had known since I was a kid. The woman who struggled with her insecurities, the woman who loved with all her might. She could move mountains if she thought it was necessary and for that, I loved her.
I pushed away strands of cotton candy coloured hair, tucking it behind her ear. "So I heard you and Lee tied the knot while I was away."
"Yeah... I'm sorry Naruto. I wanted you there but you were gone and we didn't know when you were coming back. Lee insisted as soon as he learned, that we get married immediately."
I nodded, "Fuzzy Eyebrows is a man who can take care of his business."
She grinned, "You are never going to call him by his name, are you?"
"Nope. I'm just going to call a spade a spade." I returned the grin with one of my own, flashing teeth sheepishly. There are some things that I know will never change. "I'm hungry. I want ramen. You coming?" I asked.
Sakura was still sitting in my lap, one arm slung over my neck and the other on her knee. "I would love to, Naruto... but I got work."
"Fine with me. That just means I don't have to pay."
"Stingy."
"No, you are just fat. You can eat more than I can."
"Hey! I'm eating for two now!"
I leered, "And what was your excuse before that?"
That remark earned me a smart cuff to the back of my head that left my ears ringing. I blinked back stars as she stuttered apologies. Sakura just never knew her own strength sometime. "Go on, you." She said, before hugging me and sliding off of my lap to sit in her own chair. "Get out of here before I rearrange your face."
"You couldn't catch me, fatso." I taunted as I skipped out the door, dodging Lee as I went by. "See ya around, Fuzzy Eyebrows."
—
I wandered into the office, feeling better than I had in a long time. I was willing to work now and Tsunade was more than happy to appease this zeal. She set me in the missions room to dole out assignments to idle shinobi. I saw a lot of familiar faces and a lot of new ones. With that being said, I also felt a certain amount of anxiety at the possibility of facing Sasuke, and this was predictable since a run-in was almost certain. I mentally geared myself for meeting him. I decided that I would act nonchalant. I would paste a smile on my face and I wouldn't budge or let myself even think of what had happened a few weeks ago.
Then he walked in.
And I sat stunned, overwhelmed by a sense of panic. Genma, who was sitting beside me, had been quick to pick up on my panic– I must not have been covering myself so well. "You ok?"
"I'm fine." I said underneath by breath as Sasuke approached, followed by three gennin.
"We finished our mission." He handed me the scroll which I took wordlessly and opened. It was his report on how it went and how the kids had handled it. Obviously these kids had plenty of talent because they had come up against some brutal criminals.
I glanced at the kids over the scroll. "Come here, please." I nodded to the kids. They approached with a reluctant glance to their sensei. "How did you enjoy your mission?"
There were two boys and a girl. All the same age born in the same month and all of them were orphans. "It was fun! Sasuke-sensei was awesome. He taught us some cool stuff." The girl, Michiko piped up, earning a few grumbles from her teammates. Obviously, this was her usual behaviour. "And-and..." She trailed off when she became aware of the scowls.
"And?" I urged.
"And so was Kazuo and Saniiro..."
"And what about you?" I asked.
She blushed to the roots of her blonde head, down. Staring at the floor before her feet, Michiko mumbled, "I got hurt... and they protected me." She lifted up her bandaged arm.
"And are you ok?"
"Yep."
I turned to look at the two boys, who reminded me so much of Sasuke when he was their age. So sullen and angry. "You two, come here."
Sasuke held out a hand, preventing them from walking closer to my desk, "Is this necessary, Naruto?" He asked.
I paused, realizing that I had drawn a crowd while I was talking to the little girl. I glanced at Genma, who was sitting and listening in on the conversation, watching Sasuke and me with an attention I didn't think he was capable of. "I guess not." I said, leaning back and holding Sasuke's inky gaze. "You may leave. I'm sure you have other things to do."
The girl whirled and grinned at her unsmiling companions. Unshaken by their scorn, she asked, "Sasuke-sensei, can we go for ramen?"
"I promised, didn't I?" He threw over his shoulder as he left, followed by his two young doppelgangers.
Michiko whirled and grinned at me, "Bye, Naruto-senpai!" She yelled before dashing out the door.
"Reminds me of someone..." Tsunade spoke behind me, I turned and met her sharp, pointed gaze.
"I'm sure she drives him up the wall just as much as I did." I gave a self depreciating laugh before turning to accept the next scroll from an awaiting shinobi.
Tsunade's hand fell on my shoulder, "Go to Ichiraku's and have ramen with them." An order, obviously.
I left reluctantly and went straight to Ichiraku's feeling a potent mixture of fear, annoyance, anger and eagerness. I didn't want to see Sasuke because I didn't want to have to contend with the feelings that he had brought up when he betrayed me. I still had no idea what i was supposed to feel but figured that maybe anger was a safe enough emotion to stew in.
"Naruto-senpai!" Michiko said gleefully from her perch at the ramen bar. I looked up and smiled at the pretty little girl. She was sitting at Sasuke's side, the other was occupied by one of the boys, Saniiro I think. I could never tell the two apart. They were twins.
"Michiko-chan." I said, settling myself into a seat beside her. I glanced at Sasuke before ordering a bowl of ramen. "That's the good stuff." I pointed to her pork ramen that was almost finished.
"And her second bowl." Sasuke commented dryly as he lifted chopsticks dripping with noodles to his mouth.
Michiko grinned, "I like ramen!"
"Me too!" I agreed.
She was such a sweet little girl. She chattered on happily, referring to Sasuke who she obviously admired. I guess even little girls weren't immune to Sasuke's...er... charm. I bought her a third bowl after finishing my second. "Sasuke-sensei is an awesome ninja! I wanna be like him when I grow up!" Michiko announced.
I grinned, "Sasuke is pretty special, isn't he?"
Her eyes grew wide as blurted, "Naruto-senpai, Sasuke-sensei said you are gonna be Hokage someday, is it true? Is it? Is it?"
Shocked that Sasuke would mention me to his students, I glanced at him but his eyes were on his bowl as he fished out the last piece of carrot floating in the broth of his ramen. I looked down at Michiko, "Yep, one day I'll be Hokage."
"But Sasuke-sensei is stronger than you." One of the boys piped up, glaring at me from the other side of Sasuke.
"How do you know?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Has he been bragging about himself?"
Sasuke shot me a dark glance before turning to chastise his student, "Naruto is stronger than me. He has something that I do not; strength of character. No matter how much muscle you have, no matter how much power you have in your punch, nothing matters if you don't know when to use it."
"But you do, sensei. You saved me when I got in trouble." Michiko argued.
I was stunned to silence. I couldn't believe that Sasuke had admitted that I was stronger than him... and somehow, I found it a bitter victory. I pushed away the rest of my ramen and said, "How about we go do some training? I can use the workout." I grinned.
The gennin jumped up, eager for a new sparring partner. I glanced at Sasuke and wondered what he was thinking as he slid from his stool and followed the kids out. We walked side by side, letting the kids run down the street to the training grounds.
"How have you been, Sasuke?"
"Good." He said shortly, then sighed before asking, "And you?"
"Fine. I've been thinking... a lot... lately." I said, feeling lame.
"That's a first for you, Usuratonkachi." He said softly, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.
I wrinkled my nose and chose to ignore the comment, "You know... I don't think what you did is forgivable. But I'm thinking that... well, I'm thinking that–"
"Was it good, Naruto? Did you enjoy it?"
The blush crept up from the bottom of my feet to the roots of my hair. "Uhm... I-well-that is... yes..." I stuttered, trying not to let the memories rush over me. I wasn't lying. It had been good. Everything about him. He was completely different from anyone I had ever been with before... but this was Sasuke we were talking about. He stayed on anyone's mind that he came in contact with. There was just something subtle about him. In bed he was completely different.
"So what's the big deal?"
His question tore me from my struggling thoughts and I glanced at him, "What's the big deal, Sasuke? You used me! You lied to me! God, you manipulated me, you son of a bitch. Don't you feel bad about that?"
"Ninjas are tools to be used."
"But I'm your friend, Sasuke. You don't use your friends."
He shrugged, the argument slid into silence but there was still things begging to be said. The questions and the answers hung in the air like a hundred swords, ready to dash away the dizzying pretense that the two of us had breathed to life over the past few years. The training ground neared and out of no where, a foot came whistling by, attached to a young Saniiro. It was as if everything was in slow motion. I whipped a hand out and grabbed his ankle, I swung him around and sent him sailing to the other side of the clearing as Kazuo charged in.
Kazuo had brute strength, despite his frame. I could sense that he was feeding his muscles chakra and it didn't take a sharingan to figure that out since by the looks of the kid, he was pretty skinny. But the kid moved! He almost had me a few times, I could tell that Sasuke had been teaching him taijutsu. While I was occupying myself with Kazuo, Michiko added to the fray. For such a cute little kid, she was a monster in technique. Her hand brushed against my skin and immediately, I felt goose pimples. Oh god, what was Sasuke harbouring here? I glanced at him as I dodged a hand from Michiko.
"Don't let her touch you." Sasuke grinned, watching the fight from beneath a tree he was leaned against.
Just as he said this, her fingers grazed against my forearm and I felt a hot stab of pain radiate throughout my entire arm. I hissed in pain and caught her wrist, recoiling as the same pain flared through my hand, causing it to go numb and useless. I grunted and jumped back a few feet, quickly created a few bunshin clones to take care of the two boys that were circling around and trying to flank me.
Michiko giggled– she actually giggled and I stared at her as she ran towards me. "Holy shit." I muttered, tasting and smelling the chakra as it oozed out of her skin. With a few years' experience under her belt, she was going to be an amazing fighter.
The boys dealt with two bunshin apiece and they struggled somewhat with it. I hadn't seen anything spectacular out of them yet. Soon, they kids' energy was flagging. Michiko had grazed me one other time when I got caught off guard as Kazuo managed to destroy one of the bunshins. Finally, I had Michiko pinned to the ground with her hands beneath her.
"Quite a team, Sasuke." I muttered, touching the spots that Michiko had grazed on my arms.
I moved away from the trio and watched as the boys helped Michiko to her feet, "She got hurt after her fight. She fell over funny and the guy she was fighting landed on top of her." Sasuke answered the question I was already forming on my lips as I looked at her bandaged arm.
"Go home, training is done for the day." He called to the three gennin and they left reluctantly, both boys stood protectively over Michiko.
We stood, letting the awkward silence grow between us. "You know..." I said, finally finding it unbearable. "I'm sorry for what I said after we saw Sakura... You aren't a bad person, Sasuke. You're fucked up... but you aren't bad."
"Thanks Naruto." He said dryly.
I gave him a toothy grin. "Your welcome."
Somehow, the impulse to lean over and kiss him became too much to ignore. Before I could staunch the idea, my lips grazed his cheek. "I meant it, Sasuke."
He turned his head quickly, catching my mouth with his before I could pull away. One hand came up and cradled the back of my neck. I opened my mouth to accommodate the gentle tug on my lip with his teeth, letting his tongue brush against mine.
It was wrong, I shouldn't have been doing it. I pushed him away before I could become completely lost in the embrace and stared at him, feeling light headed. "Don't Sasuke. Just... don't..."
"No! You don't!" He clamped his mouth shut and walked away, shoving passed me as he did.
I didn't want him to embellish that statement. I knew what I was doing. I knew that it was me who initiated the kiss. It was me that put us in that position and it was me who fucked up the apology that I had meant to give. Instead, my good intentions had been for naught. I wondered, as i watched him walk away, had I caused more damage? Had I finally broken our friendship to the point where it couldn't be repaired?
TBC
