AN: Hey all... sorry about the slow update. But it's here, finally! I predicted that this would be the last chapter but my muse had other plans >.> There might by one or two after this. I'm just enjoying writing this so much. I'm very glad and pleased about the ammount of response that I'm getting to this. :Hugs, kisses and Sasunaru wishes to you all:
Warning: Lemony goodness ahead X3 Just a warning! If you don't like to see hot sexy men get down and dirty with each other than don't read this or around 80 percent of the fics that are on this site... or Brokeback Mountain, for that matter. It has been edited for content... if you want the unedited version then visit aaronfantasy (The link is on my profile) and get your fix. They are usually the first ones to get my fanfics so while you are there, sign up and told them death.by.shuriken sent you!
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L'Amour est un oiseau rebelle
Que nul ne peut apprivoiser
Et c'est bien en vain qu'on l'appelle,
S'il lui convient de refuser.
Rien n'y fait, menace ou prière,
L'un parle bien, l'autre se tait;
Et c'est l'autre que je préfère
Il n'a rien dit; mais il me tient.
Love is a rebellious bird
That nothing can tame
And it is simply in vain to call it
If it is convenient for it to refuse.
Nothing will work, threat or pleading,
One speaks, the other stays quiet;
And it's the other that I prefer
He said nothing; but he pleases me.
"La Habanera"
From the Opera 'Carmen'
-
Chapter Five
I wanted to know what the hell he meant by that comment, but that was after I had gotten into my apartment and had the time to analyse it. There wasn't much to analyse, really but sometimes I'm a bit slow on the uptake. So I sat simmering, alone in my apartment. I didn't know who I could talk to about this because there was no one that could really understand Sasuke.
I knew what I had done wasn't smart. It was selfish and it was rash. Me? Selfish and Rash? Never. But that wasn't the point! Sasuke was just wrong to have these impulses and cravings over.
I leaned my head back on the couch and stared up at my ceiling, tracing the water stains. I fought the urge to sleep, to close my eyes and just let it all drift away. That delectable thought slid through my brain as my eyes closed. With one jaw-cracking, eye-watering yawn, I dropped off to sleep.
–
Smells. Vivid and as bright as colours. The smell of him, his skin, his sweat and his passion. He coated my tongue, filled my brain and left me feeling empty all at once. Just a glimpse, a sweet heaven-scented glimpse of what it could possibly be like to have no denial. No pain. Nothing but two people. With no background. No feelings. Unfettered by rules and guidelines.
I arch back, feeling my body straining for release as fingers and mouth work to bring me to the brink. I'm tumbling. Falling. Flying.
"Naruto..." He whispered, his face contorted in pain and pleasure. His body shivers as I push boundaries, shatter them and caress them. Our goal, our selfish needs are the things that make the world spin 'round. Just that alone, encompassed in the length of our arms.
My skin seems to shiver and try to crawl off my body as that pleasure, for just the breadth of a second, turns to pain. I arch back further, feeling my muscles quiver as I'm finally pushed, pulled and coaxed over the edge of a release I didn't think was possible and while it's ringing in my ears, I hear... "I love–"
–
I cried out and sat up, blinking in surprise. Night settled itself in my living room, casting everything in shadows. I blindly fumbled for the lamp and then looked down at myself, realizing that I had been turned on by that dream... was it a dream? It occurred to me that it wasn't a dream, but a memory.
"Oh god." I groaned and stood up on shaky legs. I needed a shower and I needed to stop thinking. It was getting me into trouble.
After a cold shower, I realized that my answering machine was blinking. The message was from Iruka and it sounded like he had called sometime during the day that I was out. I figured that instead of calling him, I'd stop by his apartment since it was just a block away. Maybe what I needed was a desperate distraction from the drama encircling my life.
I didn't bother knocking since it was Iruka after all. I wish that I had because as soon as I entered, I came face to face with Kakashi. I frowned and then something occurred to me as my eyes slid from his concealed, smiling face to Iruka who was shirtless and had his hair out of its customary ponytail. I had never seen him like that. Sometimes, it was one without the other but now, seeing him like this, I was a bit shocked.
"N-naruto! What are you doing here?"
"You left a message on my machine. Said that if I got the chance to come and see you. So, here I am."
"Don't you know how to knock, Naruto?" Kakashi asked; a sardonic eyebrow lifting as he looked at me.
I grinned, "I never knock when I come over because usually, Iruka-sensei is expecting me."
Kakashi gave me a shrug before his attention shifted to the other man standing behind him. I watched them talk, trying my best not to seem too interested. I smiled as innocently as I could when my old sensei said his goodbyes and left.
"What the hell was that all about?" I asked.
"N-nothing."
I lifted an eyebrow, "Oh really?"
"Really..." He said but I noted the lack of conviction in his voice. I had known Iruka for a very long time and I knew when the man was bothered with something. I had a funny feeling that whatever was going on between him and Kakashi, it was sitting heavily in his mind. I eyed him as I silently debated on further dragging out the issue but was interrupted by a sudden overly warm smile and a clap on the shoulder, "Want a cup of tea?"
"Sure." I kicked off my sandals and followed Iruka into his apartment.
Over tea, he asked, "So, what's going on with you and Sasuke?"
"What's going on with you and Kakashi?" I countered, probably looking a tad bit defensive.
He blushed from the roots of his hair downwards. I watched this reaction and although I knew already what was going on, I wouldn't bother saying anything until Iruka himself admitted it. "Nothing, really." He said into the mug of tea he was holding against his lower lip.
I drank my tea. "As for Sasuke and I... things have gotten complicated."
"Why?"
"Would it be cliché if I said that I can't stop thinking about him?"
Iruka's mug paused in its journey to set back on the table between us. "It is cliché." He agreed and set his cup down. "What are you going to about it?"
"No clue." I admitted. "But he makes me so angry because he used me. He knew that Sakura would never..." I swallowed back the lump in my throat, "Never..."
"He knew she was pregnant with Lee's child when he came over the last time."
I was humiliated. My pride had been pricked. I didn't deal well with embarrassment and maybe that's the reason that I had botched things up with Sasuke as badly as I had. He confused me too. I shouldn't have felt the way I did, namely because he had manipulated me so thoroughly to get what he wanted and he didn't even feel guilt over it! The bastard didn't– could ever feel guilt. I wasn't even entirely sure that he felt guilty over deflecting to Orochimaru's side for those brief few years. His faithlessness had caused a war and he hadn't shown any remorse. None. How the hell did someone like Sasuke learn to love when all he had ever known was grief and anger? How did one show Sasuke how to love? Love? When had that shown up into the equation? When did Sasuke's ability to love ever show up in this problem?
I glanced at Iruka, inanely terrified that he might've grasped the train of my thought. He looked like he was concerned with his own so I dropped my eyes lest I distract him. I drank my tea silently as I contemplated my next move. Win him back? That sounded like some cheesy story line for one of Jiraiya's smutty novels. Maybe I could sell him the story line when I saw him next? I could split the profit with Sasuke half way... although the bastard didn't need it. He was stinking rich anyways.
Another glance at Iruka and I knew he had slipped deeper into his thoughts. I piped up, "You know, you should just tell him you love him." Before I set my mug in the sink and left to the sounds of Iruka guffawing and boisterously denying that he knew who he should make such a confession to.
The night air was cool despite it being high summer. I shivered a bit and looked up both ends of the street before picking my way back to my apartment. Maybe if I slept on it some more, I'd know what to do... or everything would miraculously fix itself: Here's hoping.
I didn't bother with the lights as I went through the apartment, pealing off my clothes as I went and dropping them behind me like breadcrumbs. Into my bed, I crawled under the covers and shivered as the cool linen touched my flesh. I buried deeper down, wishing that I could just sink into the mattress.
I was torn from a sleep that I had no recollection of falling into. I yanked the knotted blankets away from my legs and looked around my dark room, wondering what it was that had woken me up. I stood cautiously with kunai in hand and slipped from the room, into the living room. The patio door was open. I crept forward and slid it closed.
Strong arms wrapped around my body, one of them pinning my hand that had the kunai. I didn't fight but let those soft, long-fingered hands pry the weapon away from me. It clattered to the floor and slid to a rest beneath my bookshelf. I didn't have to turn to know who it was. His smell tantalized my nose and my heart skipped a beat as his name flashed in my mind.
"Don't move, Naruto." He husked, his lips so close to my ear that the brushed against my earlobe.
I didn't move. I stood as still as death as those hands wandered over my body. Finally, when they rested on my hips, holding me flush against his body, I found my voice. "What the hell are you doing, bastard?" I hissed between clenched teeth.
A hot mouth brushed against the side of my neck and like someone had pulled the stopper from the sink, all of the anger drained out of me. I leaned back against his hard body, feeling his hands ease until they merely rested against my bare skin. Teeth nipped, jerking at my senses. I gasped as a warm tongue brushed against the small spot he had just bitten.
"I'm not going to let you go, Naruto. Never. Ever." Each word was emphasized with a kiss planted on either side of my neck. "I've had just a glimpse... a taste of you... and I thought that it would be enough. But it's not." He hissed, sounding frustrated.
With my mind and my body mashing into one conclusion, I turned in his arms and stared into his trouble eyes. I watched every nuance and every shift for an indication that he was being deceptive. With Sasuke it had always been hard to tell. Voting against words, I leaned in and took a deep breath through my nose before lightly kissing the firm line of his lips. He tasted of something spicy that he had eaten before coming to see me.
As if the floodgates had been thrown open, I found his arms wrapped tightly around my body. He kissed me with a ferocity that made me feel completely consumed. Gasping for breath against his lips, I pushed against his chest to give myself room to breathe and to think. "Don't think, just don't think Naruto. Don't you fucking think." He hissed, his hands tangling themselves painfully in my hair. He tugged roughly on my head, causing me to wince as he repeated those words like a mantra. A spell against his thoughts that I could only assume were saying the same things mine were.
I found myself pushed against the couch and he straddled my legs. Our teeth clacked together, cutting tongues and bruising lips as we fought against the flow of our thoughts. I could feel myself, every fibre of my being screaming out to find a wholeness with him that I knew would never be possible with anyone else. This was my glimpse of heaven, encased in the lithe, beautiful body of my best friend.
He pushed back my head and seared a path of kisses down the side of my neck. His teeth nipped the beating pulse trapped in the confines of my skin. My heart thudded wildly against my ribs as his hands pushed away the material of my pyjamas to reveal more skin that craved his touch. A small sound, soft and pleading, fell from my lips as he bent his torso sinuously to touch a nipple with his mouth.
Tentatively, his hands traced patterns across my body that I tried to interpret. My addled mind wouldn't cooperate and I gave in with another cry as those same hands slipped beneath the waistband of my pyjama pants. I arched my back, feeling the pain of pleasure as his fingers deftly teased me. Wanting so much more contact than just his hand, I grabbed the hem of his dark shirt and threw it over his head. He laughed at my eagerness and I grinned back as my arms wrapped around his neck and tugged him against me.
"I'm going to stop thinking now, so I'm sorry if this gets a bit rough." I heard myself say, my voice husky with need as I pushed him off of my lap. He fell back onto the hardwood floor and soon, I followed him, straddling his body and pushing him down to lie on the floor. I licked a solid line from just above the waist of his pants, below his navel, all the way up to his collarbone. I bit down on the pulse in his neck, feeling it trapped between my teeth. The scary, destructive part of me wanted to bite down harder but I opened my mouth slowly and blew softly into the delicate shell of his ear before tracing its curve with the tip of my tongue.
"Naruto!" Sasuke hissed and with the sinuous move of his torso, had me pinned down on the floor. With a triumphant look in his dark eyes, he claimed my mouth and promptly swallowed back the protests I had intended to voice.
Hands pushed away at restrictive material and with it, inhibitions that left me distracted. I found myself pressed down on the cool hardwood floor with my legs spread apart. I cried out, grinding myself painfully into the discarded cloth of my pyjama top as his mouth, hot and wet, brushed the inside of my thigh. I found his name torn from my mouth, dark and pleading as his tongue followed the cleft my ass.
"Can't do this here… bedroom, Naruto." Sasuke muttered breathlessly against my leg before turning me over and scooping me up as if I weighed mere ounces. I kissed the delicate expanse of his neck, fascinated with his pulse thudding against my lips. I smiled against it before I found myself laid gently on my bed, the twisted blankets pushed away. I glanced up at him, his countenance afire with the silvery light of the moon. I wasn't quite sure what I looked like to him but what I saw in his eyes made my heart stop. The breath that came in fast, small gasps caught in my throat as he stood silently, impartial to the cool breeze that caused the curtains to sway behind him. I reached up, impatient and slightly self-conscious to pull him down to me. I needed him to wash away the self-doubt and awakening the already dwindling fires that he had kindled in the living room.
The palms of his hands were rough with calluses. They grated against my hypersensitive skin, a delicious torment that caused me to arch up and mash my chest into his, craving more and more of him. I couldn't believe the extent of my hopelessness. I was plummeting, spiralling into the depths of an insanity that I couldn't believe that I was embracing. "Sasuke!" I cried out raggedly as he yanked away the cloth that restrained my erection. I whimpered softly in anticipation as those rough hands grasped my hard shaft. He ran his thumb over the head, already slick with precum causing more jolts of pleasure to run up and down my spine.
"I won't be able to stop." He warned, his voice husky and ragged.
"Don't." I said, feeling panic bubble in my stomach. "Don't stop." I clutched his shoulders and squeezed, digging my fingers into taut muscle as he pulled down his shorts.
TBC
