Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Short and sweet...

A/N. So sorry for the late update! ;-; Anywhos, I've noticed that less people are reviewing...Like, what happened to all of my faithful reviewers? -cries eyes out- Reviews are like my drugs...I can't live without them! T.T

There were about 19 reviews on Chapter 9...and now, Chapters 10 and 11 only have about 8! I've lost about half of the average number of reviews! -cries again-

Oh well! ;-; Anyways, thanks to the people who did review! Thanks very much!

This chapter is mostly dedicated to: Tragic Priestess, armor4sleep, Devil Inuyasha, Kuroi Kaji, ShadowAngel4Ever, stupidisstupiddoes, kyuuket, Kikyo's Younger Sister, and Cold Kikyo.

Love you guys! -huggles every one of you- Anyways, I'd better stop rambling! xD On with the story!


Chapter 12 - Kikyou No Kokoro

Falling...

Death...

Darkness...

Eternal slumber...

Hopeless...

Betrayal...

Anger...

Hurt...

Sadness...

Loneliness...

Shattered dreams and hopes...

Inuyasha...

Those words strung together in a mocking mantra within her mind. All she could think about...was that she was falling.

Falling...

Falling in eternal darkness...

There was no one who could save her, she subconsciously thought, bitterness and anger gripping her firmly. She was going to fall in this darkness...alone.

Alone...

Her dignity kept her from crying out for help. But it didn't really matter. No one could save her. No one would save her.

If only, she thought sadly. If only she weren't falling alone...

Alone.

That word frightened her. She had lived suffering with this pain, and she despised it. If only...

If only she wasn't falling alone. She didn't care if she were falling for an eternity. She didn't care if she would never see the light again.

She just wanted someone to be with her. She wanted someone to embrace her, to fight the darkness away and her fear of being alone. That someone, she thought bitterly, just had to be the one who sent her to this darkness...

But she didn't care, at least not as much as she did before the light disappeared. She just wanted all of this thick, suffocating darkness to fade...

If she had succeeded in carrying out her goal, he would be here in this darkness too. She would look for him. And she would find him.

But he wasn't here, she thought mournfully. He wasn't here. No one was here but her. She was alone.

Alone...

She wanted to see the light again. She wanted to feel warmth again. She wanted to be with him...again.

But it wasn't right. It was wrong of her to fall in love with him. It wasn't right.

But why...?

Why had it felt so warm...so beautiful...so right when she loved him?

Why?

And now he had turned it all around and stole away what was hers.

The Shikon Jewel. Her life. Her heart.

He left her cold, hopeless, and heartbroken.

When had she become so weak?

Immediately upon hearing the sudden question in her mind, fear and confusion flooded through her. Weak...

What a fool she was.

Why didn't she sense Inuyasha slipping away?

Why didn't she sense...herself slipping away?

A soft whisper of despair escaped her lips as she strained to open her eyes. Her eyelids slowly slid open, revealing bleak orbs of deep hazel.

She was falling...

Falling alone...

Alone...

He wasn't here...

The darkness in the other rooms pulsated and throbbed. She stared off into the sorrowful darkness that surrounded her, an unending pool of nothingness...

As if a sword had sliced through the darkness, dim light began to glow faintly ahead. She stared blankly at the strange light, her eyes deepening into a more clearer color of mahagony.

Light...

The light grew stronger and larger rapidly, like the empty void that had rested in her heart ever since her birth. But this void...didn't feel empty. It felt...warm...

She closed her eyes, meeting the darkness behind her eyelids, feeling the lightweight warmth spread over her. She felt her mind being swept away...off into a warmer paradise.

Light.


Her lips parted to exhale a soft groan. She was still seeing darkness, but why did she feel so...different?

Like...she was...slightly warm?

She didn't feel as empty as she had been before when she was falling. Was she still falling?

The light, she subconsciously recalled. Light.

Instantly, she slowly opened her eyes, and instead of the darkness she half-expected to see, she saw...light.

The sunlight poured over her through the cracks in the branches that towered over her. Sunlight? Trees?

She weakly straightened up, her eyes widening slightly as she realized that she wasn't falling anymore. She was...sitting down on the solid ground against a tree.

What was going on?

Was this a dream?

Was this...a paradise?

Heaven?

She glanced over at her hand, which rested delicately upon her knee. She turned her hand over, staring confusedly at the palm that gazed back at her with the familiar lines that had always been embedded into the skin of her palm. Her eyes partly closed, she stared blankly ahead of her as puzzlement and bewilderment took a firm grip upon her.

If this was heaven, why did she feel warm? Complete, at least in a way? Whole?

"Kikyo."

Who was calling her name?

She felt like she was supposed to remember, but she couldn't.

"Kikyo."

Her eyes shot open quickly, widening with anger and remembrance. Now she remembered.

She allowed her eyes to flicker over towards the source of the voice, narrowing her eyes bitterly and angrily. Inuyasha.

He was sitting a short distance from her, his amber eyes slightly narrow from what seemed to be exhaustion, but he had faint relief in his eyes. He straightened up, walking quickly over to her.

"Kikyo! Kikyo, you're all right, I was so worried -"

He was cut off as Kikyo pushed him away harshly, her eyes brightening with a dim fire that seemed to burn with hatred. Hatred...?

"What is the meaning of this? You are lying to me again, are you not?" she demanded angrily, rising to her feet quickly as she glared hatefully at the startled half-demon.

"Kikyo, what are you talking about? I never lied to you! I would never lie to you!"

"Stop saying such things, Inuyasha. I know you have been lying to me the entire time. I was a fool to believe you..." A hazy mist settled softly in her eyes, and she clenched her fists tightly as she glared bitterly and sadly at him. "I will not succumb to your trickery, Inuyasha!"

Inuyasha's eyes widened with shock, which was instantly replaced with horror as he recalled what had happened. She still believed he betrayed her! What was he doing to do?

Her hand touched the flesh between her collar bones, and she narrowed her eyes slightly. She looked down at her chest, her eyes widening as she realized that the Shikon Jewel was gone.

"The Shikon Jewel...!" She snapped her head towards him, her eyes flashing furiously with a dangerous glint. "What have you done with it, Inuyasha?"

"...I used the Shikon Jewel to revive you! Kikyo, I -" he tried to explain.

"Stop it! Stop it!" she yelled angrily at him, feeling a mixture of doubt and confusion settling within her heart. Heavy pants escaped her lips, perhaps from being so angry and frusterated, as she stared bitterly at the bewildered half-demon. She smiled bitterly, straightening as she whispered softly, "You told me you wanted to become human...And I believed those words..."

"You used the Shikon Jewel to revive me..." she continued, ignoring the frantic bewilderment that marred his face. "Is that so, Inuyasha? Why have you done so? Do you believe that doing so will make me believe your lies!"

Inuyasha's jaw opened slightly, and he swallowed. "Kikyo, please believe me. I have never lied to you. I have always wanted to become human...for you...with you!"

Those last words seemed to make Kikyo hesitate a bit, staring intently at him, as if searching for traces of truth or lies. His heart rose with hope for an instant, but her eyes narrowed with bitterness and anger, causing his heart to sink with dread and horror.

"Lies...!" she hissed fiercely, clenching her fists tightly. She didn't know what to do at that moment. She had just realized that her bow was gone. And now...she could do nothing but deny that Inuyasha was telling the truth.

Was he...? Her heart sank with a cold chill, and she stared hesitantly at him for a moment before her eyes narrowed again.

No! What was she thinking!

He was lying! She knew it! And he knew it too!

It was his claws that sliced her shoulder; it was his hand that grabbed the Shikon Jewel; it was his mouth that laughed triumphantly and spoke coldly to her; it was his cold heart that forced him to betray her...

"Why do you insist on torturing me, Inuyasha...?" she managed to muster out, but her voice lowered with sadness instead of anger. "I believed you. I understood you. I...loved you..."

She loved him.

She had loved him.

But did she still love him now?

That single question pounded softly yet furiously in both of their minds, echoing with a sad whisper that seemed to grow dimmer as their hearts struggled to believe what was true.

Inuyasha's throat had gone dry, and he swallowed hard, trying to clear his parched throat. "Kikyo...if you do love me..." he whispered softly, advancing towards his beloved, his heart rising with hope and relief as he realized that she wasn't backing away or looking angry. "...You will believe me. You will know that I have never lied to you...and that I...truly love you too."

It seemed to both of them that she truly believed him. She closed her eyes slowly, exhaling softly as her fists unclenched slowly. Inuyasha smiled sadly, his arms having a mind of their own and moving of their own free will. As soon as she had become within distance, he spread his arms slightly to embrace her.

To his surprise and shock, her arms swept up quickly to shove him away. A soft grunt of confusion and bewilderment escaped his lips as he stared wildly at Kikyo. Her head had hung low, her fists were clenched tightly again, and she was trembling.

"Kikyo..."

She lifted her head up slowly, her eyes raising to meet his. He was shocked and bewildered to see that tears were forming in her eyes. "I was an innocent fool!" she cried out, her voice set between the tone of anger and sadness, yet perhaps filled with all of her emotions at once. "And I dared to imagine that I would truly live my life with you...-"

Her choked voice was cut off as Inuyasha quickly swept before her and threw his arms around her small form, embracing her tightly and holding her against his chest. "Stop it!" he ordered with frustration, shutting his eyes tightly and biting his tongue to keep himself from crying. Kikyo's eyes widened with shock and bewilderment, and she stood limply in his firm grip. What was he doing?

Why was he embracing her?

Why was he saying these things?

Why was he making her feel warm and...loved again?

No...!

She couldn't believe him again!

Why was he doing this to her!

Kikyo narrowed her eyes, her fists tightening as he continued to cradle her. Inuyasha's voice finally broke the empty silence, clinging onto the air with a strange warmth that Kikyo couldn't understand.

"Kikyo..." he managed to begin, his hoarse voice coming out all husky and choked, as if he were trying his best not to cry. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you've gone through so much pain. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. You may hate me and believe that I'm lying...but please know Kikyo...I'm not. I would never lie to you. I would never betray you. I would do...anything for you. Please know, Kikyo, that I truly love you. I love you so much it hurts, but I don't care. I never stop thinking about you, not even for an instant."

Inuyasha paused, as if trying to find the right words to end his wistful speech. He tightened his grip on her warm and soft body, closing his eyes tightly. "You know this more than anyone else, Kikyo. Please...find it in your heart to believe and love me."

Kikyo's fists dangled limply by her sides, unclenched. The tears that had welled up in her eyes were too much for her to handle, and she closed her eyes, feeling the warm wetness that trickled down her cheeks, an unfamiliar warmth that she had never felt before in her life.

Part of her was still doubtful. If it wasn't Inuyasha, who was it? He did betray her! He was lying to her again!

The other part of her was hesitant and thoughtful. He had used the Shikon Jewel to revive her. He had tried to convince her she was mistaken, even though he could have run away. He had embraced her, without the fear that she would push him away and hurt him. He had spoke these words, these wistful, seemingly true words that seemed to come right from his heart.

But he could be lying. He could be trying to gain her trust and heart back, only to break it once more.

But...he was Inuyasha. Another tear rolled down her milky cheek. He had loved her! He still did! He was telling the truth!

Believe.

Don't believe.

Believe.

Don't believe.

Believe.

Believe.

Believe...

"I do not know...!" she choked out, sobbing quietly as she felt the tears streak freely down her cheeks. She had never felt so empty and lost and weak...yet whole and complete and feeling like she was out of control. Was love the cause of all of these feelings?

"Inuyasha...I want to believe you...but I can not..." she whispered quietly, with a frantic desperation in her voice.

"It's okay, Kikyo." He tightened his embrace and pressed his cheek into the soft blanket of her ebony locks. "You don't have to, but just know...just know that I have always...and always will love you."

Her hands found the red fabric that layered his warm chest, gripping tightly on his soft cloak. "Inuyasha..." she wept, burying half of her face into his slightly broad shoulder . "I...lo-"

Leaning down slightly to meet her height, Inuyasha quickly kissed the corner of her lips, just as Kikyo had done to him back at the dock, cutting her off at the same words he himself hadn't spoken because she kissed him.

Hearing the soft breath of surprise that escaped her lips, he waited for her to respond as his heart prepared itself to rise with hope or sink with dread. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, she turned her head and his lips fully overlapped hers.

Her hands left his chest and her arms curled around to embrace his muscular body. For the moment, they didn't care about anything else - just the warmth of each other and the love that would never fade.


A/N. Awwww...-smiles- I can just imagine that...-stares wistfully off into space- If only that could REALLY happen! T.T That's what fanfiction is for! xDD

Anyways, c'mon guys, review! Even if it's a short, simple review, or anything else besides a flame, I'd very much appreciate it! x)

Kikyou No Kokoro means Kikyo's Heart, for those of you who don't know. xD

And yes, some lines were taken from the anime/manga. xD

Hint: I'm a review freak, and more reviews make me update faster...:)