Well... hi again it's me Laili. I'm suffering writers block for ALL of my fanfics... and i've been busy with an art show (looked like i only went for the food) and just got back from prom last night... and went out after cowboy bebop was over.
So... this has been sitting in my computer for about 4 months and deided to put this up to keep my fans busy. So Rufus-sama...Disclaimer!
Rufus: Laili does not own any of the following except for the ninja squirrels not present in this fic.
This is my next Turk Humor story... so i'll try and update on my other fic soon... hopefully...
A little bit of fun…
Chapter One: First Victim…
Six A.M. Midgar, Shinra Headquarters…
Rufus looked at the President's chair. They finally cleaned the building from Sephiroth's mess and Rufus was now Pre-Sid-DENT!
He saw the chair and smiled. He then walked over and sat in it. Something didn't feel right about this…
It was stiff and there were two things jabbing into his back. He sat up and looked to see… his dad had one of those built in massagers in his chair…
Rufus smiled as he sat down and found the keypad under the leather arm rest (it was a lid) and turned it on. He sighed happily as he was getting a much needed back massage. Now he knew why his father would be in a happy mood in this chair.
To top it off, Rufus hired a new assistant (Me!). She had short brown hair and blue eyes and today was in a maroon blouse and blue jeans with tan boots. She was excellent on the computer and many more things including video games… and her name was Laili.
Speaking of computers…
Rufus rolled over and programmed the massager for lower back as he went through the computer, cleaning off what was his father's and oy.. It had viruses…
He sighed as he turned on the virus killer on the computer, sat back and adjusted the massager to 'really good'. He sat back, sighed, kicked his feet up on the desk and put his hands behind his head.
"Mr. President?" Laili knocked on the door, holding a cup of coffee.
"Yes?" Rufus smiled.
"I have your coffee here sir." Laili walked in and placed it where he can reach it. "Costa Roast, two sugars and a shot of cream?"
"Indeed, the way coffee should be." Rufus picked it up with his eyes closed and sipped on it. "And you made it perfectly."
"Thank you sir." Laili nodded then was wondering what the hell was wrong with him. "Sir? What are you doing?"
"Getting a back massage and cleaning viruses off this thing drinking coffee." Rufus pointed to the computer and sipped his coffee again. Laili just shrugged.
"Shout if you need anything." Laili walked out, closing the door.
Rufus nodded as he went back to the back massage. When he closed his eyes, he didn't notice that the low battery light came on.
Three hours later…
"Fucking eh!" Rufus shook the chair. "I was enjoying that!"
It had been five minutes since the battery died and he never knew. Rufus sat in the seat and stared at the computer. "Ok, time to use the recycle bin, because you're my computer now."
He began looking through the computer with a disgusted look. "Jeez dad, you go to Honey Bee's and record all this… SICK!"
Another three hours later…
Rufus was bored as he just finished clearing off what was his father's. He had seen enough porn videos on it that Rufus doesn't ever want to see again.
He sighed as he was began writing his speech for the upcoming parade in his honor in Junon.
Laili was watching him at the door. Poor guy, busted chair, enough porn to scar him for life, now doing work which is killing him… he needs to smile…
Than something went 'click' in her mind. He does love that pen with his name on it on his desk… maybe… Laili grinned as a light bulb was turned on over her head, well, the light over his door to be exact when she flicked on the light next to her.
Laili quietly walked in and stood next to Rufus and looked over his shoulder. "Whatcha doing?"
"I'm working, what do you need?" Rufus said in a dull tone.
"I was just… uh... asking what you want for lunch." Laili placed her hand near the pen on his desk.
"And?" Rufus asked as he typed.
"And... I was asking if you have…" Laili was flicking her hands in circles, trying to think of what to say. "… Anything particular you feel like eating today."
She quickly got the pen and slowly pulled it behind her back.
"Well… I'm in a carnivore mood so maybe… I can go for some chocobo wings… can you order them mild?" Rufus asked as he stopped typing.
"Yes sir I can do that." Laili smiled, she slipped the pen in her back pocket. "Anything else?"
"Meat lover's pizza and a coke." Rufus pointed. "I'll have that too. Two slices, ten wings, and a huge glass or bottle of ICE cold cola."
"Two slices, ten wings, and ice cold cola, anything else?" Laili asked.
"One pint of cookie dough ice cream." Rufus said, back to typing his speech.
"Alrighty sir. On the way!" Laili saluted and left, grabbing the pen and hiding it in front of her and then leaning her head out the door. "Be back in an half an hour."
"Weird. She's never usually happy." Rufus printed out his speech and then turned to sign paperwork. "I just need to sign—"
His hand was tapping where he left his pen… but it wasn't there. He slowly turned his head in shock and then yelled. "LAILI!"
Laili was running and laughing down the hall. "YOU GOTTA CATCH ME IF YOU WANT YOUR PEN BACK!"
Rufus growled as he picked up the phone and call the perfect person to capture her.
Dun dun dun!
Well... there's chapter one for you all. I came up with this in study hall and i do have a one page comic on half of this chapter.. i need to finish up the next one for the next chapter...
Little question for you... who is the second victim? Guess right and you win a chapter decated to you on your idea for my fic 'Chibified' (see my other stories under my profile)
See ya later!
