LINK TO SECTION RESULTS BELOW
We now return to Catherine and… Just Catherine with a smile on her face. Instead of the dress she had the entire time, she was now wearing… An old-fashioned pink Colombian dress.
"And we are back!" Catherine beamed. "For those who are just tuning it and confused that you see me instead of Drake and Ashley, well, I'll fill you in."
She then nodded.
"Even though some of you saw it from miles away, Tinyhammer is finally ready to start the third Battle of the Luminaries!" She explained
Cheering could be heard.
"Yeah, even I have to be hyped here!" She nodded. "Because of this, Drake and Ashley have to leave to prepare, leaving me and Wally to cover the recap for the latest Tournament of Kikai's results!"
She then winked.
"But don't worry, you are concerned that this means that Drake and Ashley will be gone from the recap indefinitely, Drake already thought ahead." Catherine explained. "How? Well, you will find out. NEXT results recap."
She gave a descending whistle.
"But don't worry, with all of the crazy stuff that happened in this section, this should be more than enough to give you something to feast on." She said, rolling her eyes. "For context, we have to talk about one of the fighters that appeared in this section. Superman, you see, what we didn't cover in his node segment all of the way back in Bizarro's description is that…"
Suddenly, the light went out. After a few seconds, a sudden anthro kangaroo appeared behind a monochrome sombrero vueltiao with a matching ruana over a Colombian shirt and pants. Catherine turned around, confused before gasping as the kangaroo glared into her eyes.
(We don't talk about Superman Six-Ty-Four!)
(We don't talk about Superman…)
(BUT!)
Wally then took Catherine's hand and they started to dance together, despite how pissed Wally looked and scared Catherine looked.
(It was Section Eighteen!)
(It was Section Eighteen!)
(Monokuma took over)
(And there wasn't a Big Guy in the ring!)
(No Big Guys allowed in the ring)
(Then, Waluigi came in)
(With a mischievous grin)
(Throw the chair!)
Wally glared at Catherine.
(This is supposed to be MY thing!)
Catherine winced at this
(Sorry, Wally, keep going…)
(Miss Piggy revealed an infamous glitch)
(All because of Superman…)
(Seeing this makes me want ta bitch)
(More like Pooperman…)
(Even Junko fell victim to this twitch)
(It was actually pretty funny, but anyway)
Wally and Catherine then glared at the camera.
(We don't talk about Superman Six-Ty-Four)
(We don't talk about Superman!)
Then, the crowd started to cheer. Wally and Catherine smiled before bowing to the crowd at the warm reception they were getting.
"Thank you! Thank you!" Wally grinned.
"To think that we actually came up with this at the last moment!" Catherine chuckled.
"And for those who don't know what we were singing, go watch Encanto." Wally offered. "No, really, Ah promise that ya will NOT regret!"
"I know, right!?" Catherine beamed. "I want to gush about the movie, but we would be getting off-track."
"Aye.." Wally said with a sigh of defeat. "Okay, ya know how much Ah try to make sure that we do not talk about bad games, movies or cartoons? Well, it is almost impossible ta do so now."
"I admit that we aren't the best at lyrics, but what you hear is what you get." Catherine shrugged. "Because of Superman's inclusion, the arena turned into… Well, Superman 64."
"HOW!?" Wally exclaimed. "Sonic the Hedgehog has been a staple in the UVR-spinoffs since the FIRST MEGAMIX TOURNAMENT and this never happened before!"
"Yeah, I don't get it either. Especially since Sonic has not one, but TWO glitchfests. Those being 06 and Rise and Lyric." Catherine winced. "But look on the bright side. For better or for worse, we actually have a good reason to talk about Superman 64."
Wally slapped his forehead. "...This is EXACTLY why we did this 'We Don't Talk About Bruno' parody. Ta calm our nerves."
"Anddddd to get the obvious joke out of the way!" Catherine giggled. "But yeah, I think we prolonged this recap long enough. Let's get into the fighters. And being a Big Guy Blocker, we will not go over any ELIMINATED fighters."
BEAST
NODE: KINGDOM HEARTS/BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
ENTERED IN: Section 17; Number 360
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 2
Catherine's eyes brightened up as she put her hands on her cheeks. "Oh my god! Not only did Adam get a proper elimination, but he lives to get a possible third one!"
"Ah don't know… We ARE covering him FIRST fer a reason." Wally frowned. "But eh, he did good against Balrog from Street Fighter V."
"The actual beast was taunting Adam the entire time, trying to use his anger against him." Catherine said before crossing her arms with a scoff. "Looks like thinking that bullying creatures that are bigger than him is a thing."
Wally chuckled nervously. "Well, Balrog's plan worked a little TOO well as he ended up making Adam do his Furious Bellow move!"
"Ha! Where is your pride NOW, you disgrace to the good name of buffalos!?" Catherine sneered.
SORA
NODE: KINGDOM HEARTS
ENTERED IN: Section 16; Number 342
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 4
"Woah, Sora really lucked out with the Big Guy Blocker here." Wally frowned.
"As opposed to what?" Catherine asked "I don't know. Your reaction just seems… Different. Especially compared to Adam."
"Ah don't know. I just expected that the hype from being the final Smash fighter would make him be in at least the Top 10 for a few sections." Wally added.
"Fair enough." Catherine said before shrugging. "Eh. Look on the bright side. He DOES get to live to fight another day."
Wally brightened up. "Aye! With a decent elimination!"
Catherine blinked twice. "Decent elimination.?
"Okay, so it doesn't end… Normally. But Sora still demonstrated how resourceful he is when he wants ta be!" Wally admitted.
"Okay, fair enough. He used the glitches to his advantage by… Spamming transforming into his Master Form and reverting back to normal to use his Reflect spell…" Catherine said, blinking twice. "Wait… Is this a glitch that Sora could do in the games?"
"Only Ashley knows." Wally frowned. He then brightened up. "But he used the glitch to get some major height and do a downward strike, knocking Heihachi PSASBR!"
"...We are actually skipping the other two who would have been eliminated if not for the Big Guy Blocker." Catherine said. "It will make sense later."
BEAST BOY
NODE: DC COMICS/TEEN TITANS
ENTERED IN: Section 17; Number 351
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 3
Wally and Catherine blinked twice at this.
"...What am I supposed to say to THIS?" Catherine asked in disbelief.
"Aye, how did Beast Boy manage to overtake Drill Man when he was asserting his dominance?" Wally asked.
Catherine stared at Wally in disgust. "...Why?"
"Oh, because what I just said is the dumbest thing about this!" The boxer scolded.
Catherine rolled her eyes. "So yeah, Drill Man from Megaman is one of the biggest victims from the glitchfest."
"Aye, Beast Boy eliminated him out of pity…" Wally frowned. "Too bad. Ah would have love ta see him use his shapeshifting abilities against someone whose drill could pierce through the heavens."
With that, he pulled out a familiar pair of orange triangle shades and put them on. Catherine blinked twice.
"...Okay, THAT one is just forced!" Catherine muttered.
"Cut me some slack! Drake wanted ta make a similar joke when Drill Man was revealed, but was too grossed out by Skull Man and Pharoah Man's Net Navi forms ta remember ta do so!" Wally scolded. "So he asked ME ta do the joke!"
Catherine rolled her eyes. "Of course he did."
DONALD DUCK
NODE: KINGDOM HEARTS/CLASSIC DISNEY SHORTS
ENTERED IN: Section 14; Number 299
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 8
Wally grinned. "Ha ha! He did it! He actually did it! Donald tied with his buddy, Goofy, for the MVP of Kingdom Hearts!"
"And what an elimination to tie with!" Catherine nodded. "He was up against Metal Sonic from Sonic the Hedgehog who has proven to be a major match for his magic!"
Wally paused. "Ah never knew that Metal Sonic could copy MAGIC."
"To be fair, I refuse to believe that there isn't at least one character from Sonic the Hedgehog to use SOME form of magic." Catherine said, waving it off.
Wally shook his head. "But anyway, seeing that Metal Sonic could easily counter his magic, what does Donald do? Why, take the weapons that are put in the ring for their fight against Gulp and use them against Metal Sonic!"
"And he does it with his MOUTH!" Catherine added. She then paused. "Did it ever stated WHY he did so?"
"Ah am sure…" Wally said, scratching the back of his head. "But who cares!? It's badass!"
EARTHWORM JIM
NODE: EARTHWORM JIM
ENTERED IN: Section 16; Number 334
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 5
Wally and Catherine paused.
"Well, then.." Catherine frowned.
"Ugh, come on!" Wally groaned, rolling his eyes. "This must be how Carver and company felt like when they had to cover Carol Stanzack's elimination of Toon Zelda!"
Catherine just sighed. "Well, we could talk about Nightwing from DC Comics story-wise. It seems that he definitely knows more than what we are going on."
"But why didn't he act on that?" Wally asked.
"...Considering that this is the Teen Titans version of Nightwing, it doesn't surprise me." Catherine muttered. "Remember Red X's first appearance?"
"Oi, come on! At least he is telling and trusting other people!" Wally scolded.
"True… But that still doesn't change why he didn't act earlier." Catherine said, crossing her arms. "Whatever he is trying to pull, it has better be for a long reason!"
"...Ah mean he rigged the turnbuckles with… SOMETHING." Wally said. "Surely he must have SOMETHING planned."
CARMELITA FOX
NODE: SLY COOPER
ENTERED IN: Section 18; Number 365
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 1
"Heh. No matter, Drake picked HER to be the leader of the security team of the third Battle of the Luminaries!" Drake grinned.
"Yeah, she is a badass! She may be a normal… Fox with a shock pistol, but that is all she needed!" Catherine smirked. "Akuma from Street Fighter V learned that the hard way!"
"Keep it mind, Akuma was the very first superboss in fighting games!" Wally added.
"Doesn't matter to HER! If you are a criminal, she is going to come hard no matter who you are!" Catherine chuckled.
ALADDIN
NODE: KINGDOM HEARTS/ALADDIN
ENTERED IN: Section 18; Number 373
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 1
"While he didn't hit the double elimination, even WITHOUT the Big Guy Blocker, Aladdin is still up to a strong start!" Catherine grinned.
"Aye, he is facing off against Zack Fair who Xero would like ta say that he is from Final Fantasy: Crisis Core, but is actually from Kingdom Hearts which he should have been from the start." Wally smirked.
Catherine returned the smirk. "Xero is going to give you an earful."
"Ah know! That is why I temporarily blocked him on my phone." Wally laughed.
"But yeah, both swordsmen have shown off their stuff against each other." Catherine explained. "However, Zack, along with Drake & Ashley, forget one major thing."
"The Disney Infinity games!" Wally said before pausing. "Not going ta lie. I forgot them as well."
"Same. Well, Aladdin didn't and gets to bring his buddy, Carpet, seeing that he is part of his moveset!" Catherine grinned. "Poor Zack was overwhelmed and taken out of the ring!"
KAT & DUSTY
NODE: PLAYSTATION ALL-STARS BATTLE ROYALE/GRAVITY RUSH
ENTERED IN: Section 18; Number 367
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 1
BUBBLES
NODE: CARTOON NETWORK: PUNCH-TIME EXPLOSION/THE POWERPUFF GIRLS
ENTERED IN: Section 15; Number 306
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 7
"And we have one of many fighter pair-ups for this section results recap!" Wally grinned. "The adorable Kat & Dusty and Bubbles!"
"Once again, they are shown to be Adorable and Badass by taking down two literal Big Guys!" Catherine added. "Gulp from Spyro the Dragon and Marshmallow from Kingdom Hearts!"
"While Marshmallow was trying ta stop Gulp from causing chaos, he ended up doing so himself, but the girls have ta put him down just like they did with Gulp." Wally lamented.
"But hey, we actually get to see Kat & Dusty and Bubbles use their Smash Balls on the two!" Catherine beamed. "It was actually rare for a PSASBR character to use said Smash Ball."
"And if it wasn't fer the Big Guy Blocker, Bubbles would had tied with DONALD & GOOFY." Wally added. "Aye, it is safe ta say that both girls are having their best time right now."
WALUIGI
NODE: SUPER MARIO BROS.
ENTERED IN: Section 17; Number 362
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 2
MISS PIGGY
NODE: THE MUPPETS
ENTERED IN: Section 18; Number 370
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 1
Catherine blinked twice. "...I've seen a lot of strange pair-ups at these things, but this takes the cake."
"Yeah, especially since how the two met each other." Wally sighed. "But aye, Waluigi was the one who realised that the ring was infected by Superman's… Unfortunate sixty-fourth stench."
"Ooh, nice!" Catherine smirked. Her smirk then vanished. "But real talk. How did HE figure it out?"
"...Leave it ta a weird guy ta figure out a weird system." Wally muttered. "What is more surprising is that MISS PIGGY is just as into it as Waluigi!"
"She may be a diva, but at the end, she is still a Muppet." Catherine shrugged. "Take that how you will."
Wally shook his head. "So yeah, the two have been laughing and enjoying the glitches all section and Espio from Sonic the Hedgehog and Ienzo from Kingdom Hearts, the more serious fighters of the section have enough of them and tried to eliminate them with a Limit Break. Emphasis on 'tried'."
"But to be fair, the issue wasn't that the attack didn't hit the two head-on. They both seemed like they were knocked out cold." Catherine explained. "However, Miss Piggy is tougher than she looks and Waluigi is used to getting knocked down. …Wait, the latter wasn't much of a compliment when you think about it."
"Eh. If Waluigi is still standing and not Ienzo, why should HE care?" Wally shrugged.
TERRA
NODE: DC COMICS/TEEN TITANS
ENTERED IN: Section 18; Number 366
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 1
SUPERMAN
NODE: DC COMICS/SUPERMAN
ENTERED IN: Section 18; Number 380
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 1
ROLL
NODE: MEGAMAN
ENTERED IN: Section 18; Number 377
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 1
"And we FINALLY get ta talk about the two people who had been screwed if it wasn't fer the Big Guy Blocker." Wally grinned. "Along with the person who got the second top slot!"
"However, it is hard to talk about them without talking about the fight between Demyx from Kingdom Hearts and Retasu from Tokyo Mew Mew against Dr. Wily from Megaman. Why?" Catherine asked before wincing. "Well, after their obligatory story fight and demanding answers from Wily, stray projectiles from Roll and Terra respectively eliminated them."
"...And Superman took it upon himself ta get rid of Wily seeing that he was defenceless, but no one around a take care of him fer good." Wally said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Okay, wow, I could forgive Roll and Terra because it is easier to blame the glitches than them." Catherine said, disgusted. "But Superman took credit for all of Demyx and Retasu and had the gall that he actually did ANY work at all!"
"Aye, between that, the glitchfest AND the fact that if it wasn't fer the Big Guy Blocker, he would had been gone, Superman is not having a good section!" Wally frowned with his ears dropped.
"Ugh, I can't believe that I didn't bring up Superman 64 when I was roasting him all of the way in Section One." Catherine muttered.
"Ah was thinking that as well. Why DIDN'T ya bring it up?" Wally asked. "It was clearly not because ya were afraid ta bring it up around me."
"I'm not sure…" Catherine mused. She then scoffed. "But when Xero does the second Tournament of Kikai, I will NOT forget that detail."
Wally rolled his eyes. "Joyyyyyy…"
YOSHI
NODE: SUPER SMASH BROS/YOSHI
ENTERED IN: Section 17; Number 363
OVERALL ELIMINATIONS: 1
"And a rare case of us having the best fer last, we are covering the top slot fighter, Yoshi!" Wally grinned.
"Eeeee! Look at him going against the equally-cute Meow-Wow from Kingdom Hearts!" Catherine beamed. "Look at them showing off all of the little things they could do!"
"Yoshi actually had a couple of close calls that he would had been eliminated if it wasn't fer his Flutter Jump." Wally noted. "But underneath his happiness is a will that could NOT be broken!"
"I couldn't have thought of a better ending to this mess!" Catherine smiled. "We say goodbye to Akuma, Nightwing, Retasu, Demyx and Espio."
"And welcome Yoshi, Carmelita, Terra, Kat & Dusty, Miss Piggy, Aladdin, Roll and of course, Superman." Wally said.
"Now let's get into the stats!" Catherine beamed.
CURRENT MVPS
STREET FIGHTER V: Sakura Kasugano - 4 (Eliminated)
KING OF FIGHTERS XIV: Yuri Sakazaki - 7 (Eliminated)
SUPER SMASH BROS: Rosalina & Luma - 6 (Eliminated)
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG: Big the Cat - 4 (Eliminated)/Shadow the Hedgehog - 4 (Eliminated)/Doctor Eggman - 4 (Eliminated)/Cream the Rabbit - 4 (Eliminated)
SPYRO THE DRAGON: Agent 9 - 5 (Eliminated)/Spyro the Dragon - 5 (Eliminated)
SLY COOPER: Bentley - 4 (Eliminated)/Sly Cooper - 4 (Eliminated)
KINGDOM HEARTS: Goofy - 8 (Eliminated)/Donald Duck - 8 (Still in the Ring)
PLAYSTATION ALL-STARS BATTLE ROYALE: Jak & Daxter - 4 (Eliminated)/Ratchet & Clank - 4 (Eliminated)
MEGAMAN: Gutsman - 2 (Eliminated)
DC COMICS: Starfire - 3 (Eliminated)/Beast Boy - 3 (Still in the ring)
TOKYO MEW MEW: Kisshu Ikasatashi - 4 (Eliminated)
SKULLGIRLS: Parasoul - 3 (Eliminated)
BATTLE ARENA TOSHINDEN: Eiji Shinto - 1 (Eliminated)/Sofia - 1 (Eliminated)
CARTOON NETWORK: PUNCH-TIME EXPLOSION: Bubbles - 7 (Still in the ring)
MYSTERY FIGHTERS: Luna Loud - 9 (Eliminated)
"Welp, if there is someone who could tie Goofy, it would be Donald." Catherine smiled, crossing her arms.
"But the question is, would he be able to tie LUNA?" Wally asked.
"Perhaps. Even with all of his fatigue, he still did relatively well in the rankings." Catherine said. She then growled. "Anyway, this would be the part where Yoshi gets to choose, but Monokuma HAS to be a bitch!"
Wally chuckled nervously. "Ta be fair, the Big Guy Blocker was dominated by the glitchfest!"
"But that is not Yoshi's fault! In fact, it is not anyone's fault!" Catherine snapped before pausing. "...Well, except Superman."
"Oi, come on!" Wally said, narrowing his eyes.
"But yeah, Monokuma is forcing an Unleash the Despair onto everyone!" Catherine spat.
Wally raised an eyebrow. "That's good, right? That means everyone gets a break from all of the madness and has a normal round."
Catherine paused. "Yeah, you are probably right… Still, I…"
Suddenly, her phone started to ring. Raising an eyebrow, she took it out.
"Oh, it's Xero." Catherine noted.
Wally rolled his eyes. "Ugh, great! Did he call ta bitch about me giving him crap for not admitting his mistake with Zack."
"If it is, I do not know WHY he waited until the end of the recap." Catherine shrugged before answering it. "Hello?"
"First off, low blow blocking me and not giving me a chance to defend myself!" Xero scolded.
Wally narrowed his eyes. "...Ya know. Maybe SWSU-Master's characterization of you in SFC IS spot-on."
"Oh, now THAT is just a hate crime!" Xero roared, angrily.
"S-So, what did you call me for?" Catherine asked.
Xero just scoffed. "I just wanted to remind you of a certain segment."
"Huh? What segment?" Catherine asked.
"Who's Dat Bunny?" Xero asked.
Wally and Catherine's eyes lit up at this.
"That's right! After god-knows-how-long, we finally have two of my three rabbit Mystery Fighters!" Xero beamed.
"Dude, that is awesome!" Wally grinned. His face then fell. "Too bad that Drake and Ashley have to miss this though."
"I am sure that they will understand." Catherine offered. "After all, even if it wasn't this, they knew that they would miss something big, anyway."
"Agreed. And I know that you would have bigger reactions to them than Drake & Ashley would." Xero said.
"And then some…" Maurice muttered.
Wally caught onto this, but Catherine was too happy to notice as she looked at the camera.
"We are going to take a break, but if you call yourself a rabbit-lover, you better be here when we come back!" Catherine grinned.
LINK TO SECTION RESULTS: archiveofourown / works / 25531129 / chapters / 90878875
