Yaaay. Part five. This story is really getting long.

Ha! I love not having homework.

CHAPTER FIVE - PRESENTS AND WOLVES

The alleged main characters of the story were now trudging across a snowy field, all annoyed, but Kaitlyn was in an especially bad mood because she wasn't mentioned at all in the last chapter.

As they were nearing the end of the field, they heard sleigh bells.

"You guys! I hear sleigh bells!" said Short Devon.

"Yeah!" everyone agreed.

"We should assume it's the Witch without even looking back and run for our lives!" Brad exclaimed, so they all sped up in a pointless attempt to outrun reindeer. Somehow, they managed to reach the edge of the woods first. They hid in a hollow space beneath a tree, and waited for impending doom.

After a minute or so, they heard footsteps and then saw a shadow on the tree in front of them...

Melodie gasped. "Omigod! It's some fat guy's shadow, so it must be Kristy!"

Meanwhile:

"Hey," said Kristy, "I just got the feeling that someone called me fat..."

Anyway, Beaver decided to risk his neck to see who was really there. Nobody argued. Soon he came back dead. Wait, not dead, excited.

"Children--!"

"Hey, we're teenagers, not children!" said Brenna.

"I'm not a teenager..." Lucy put in sullenly.

"WHATEVER! What I'm trying to say is... Santa Claus is here!"

Melodie was the first to jump up and run yelling to the sleigh.

"Ho ho ho, I have presents!" said Santa.

"PRESENTS!" everyone yelled. They crowded around the sleigh to receive what they were seemingly getting for Christmas.

"Holy... how many of you are there? I only have enough for three people!" Santa said. "Alright then, I have some healing stuff and a dagger for Lucy..."

"I'm Lucy!" Molly said in a hurry. She grabbed the bottle of healing potion and the small dagger with satisfaction.

"Okay then... next I have a bow and arrows and a horn for Susan."

Apparently Erin wanted presents too. "I'm Susan!" she said, taking her identity theft-ed items and backing away to make sure Susan didn't saying anything to ruin it.

"And lastly, a sword and shield for Peter."

Before anyone could claim his name and take his presents, Peter ran over to take the sword and shield.

"Right then, I'm off. Have fun fighting your war." Santa sat back down in his sleigh and took off.

"Well. That was relevant," said Molly.

"What does relevant mean?" Hilary asked.

"Uh... I forget," Molly said vaguely. "Oh well. Let's just keep going."

So keep going they did, until they reached a big frozen waterfall. Of course, just when they were in the middle of crossing it, the ice started to crack and the wolves came and surrounded them.

"Well, I guess we'll just kill you like we were sent to," the leader wolf said. This leader wolf was wearing sunglasses, just because.

"Oh yeah?" Peter said. He stabbed his new sword heroically into the ice, hoping a chunk would break off and carry them all to safety, but his sword just got stuck. "Dammit! Move, you friggin' ice!"

The wolf lunged to attack and got a mouthful of James.

"Ew!" it said, "This tastes nasty. Let's just go."

They left James in a bloody piles and the others just stood there.

"Whoa... they killed James," said Short Devon.

Someone else was about to reply with 'Bastards!', when James spoke.

"Actually, I'm not quite dead yet," he said cheerfully.

"Huh?" everyone gasped in shocked unison.

"Yes, in fact, I'm feeling much better!" he remarked.

"But how did you survive?" Brady asked.

"Well, I'll tell you..." Music started playing in the background.

"Stop, stop! No singing!" said the greedy king from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The music stopped, the king left, and only those who saw that particular Monty Python movie knew what was going on.

"Alrighty then, let's get going, shall we?" Mrs. Beaver said. So they left, and finally arrived at Aslan's camp.

The lot of them walked up the path through the camp, and at the end, Aslan emerged from his tent, and guess who was beside him.

Zach!

"ZACH!" everyone who knew Zach yelled. Which happened to be everyone except Kaitlyn, for she had only talked to him on MSN Messenger. There was a giant entanglement of people in a group hug, until Melodie shouted 'Ow! My shoulder!', and they all broke apart again.

"How did you get here?" Erin asked.

"I don't know. But I hope we get pizza," Zach said.

Then everyone was forced to wear medieval-looking clothes and nobody was happy with it.

"It's bad enough you guys are making me wear a dress to the prom, but this?" Molly said grouchily. She did not like white dresses.

"Hey, at least yours isn't pink," Kaitlyn grumbled.

At this moment, some guy with a suit and a mustache came over to them. And this guy with a suit and a mustache looked oddly like... Ashley, disguised in a suit and a mustache.

"Uh... is there a Janel here?" the suit and mustache guy asked, in a disguised voice that sounded like Ashley disguising her voice.

"Yeah..." said Janel.

"I'm here to inform you that you've won a huge art contest and you're coming with me to go and make a full-length feature anime film in honor of Hayao Miyazaki."

"...Really!"

"No." The suit and mustache guy laughed.

"THAT WAS NOT NICE!" Janel yelled. She wanted to make a full-length feature anime film.

"I was just kidding. Come on. You'll be back in time for the next chapter." So Janel and the suit and mustache guy disappeared with a loud Harry-Potter-ish-apparating sound.

Then a wolf came.

We'll skip the part where Peter kills the wolf, because I'm getting tired of this place. We now go to George with the weather.

"Today there will be breathable air and it might rain frogs. But probably not. And the Apocalypse is coming. That's all."

But what actually has something to do with this story is where the White Witch is now.

The bad guys had set up a sort of camp of their own in a dark, gloomy part of the woods. Tall Devon was gagged and tied to a tree. But not for long, since some of Aslan's people came and rescued him.

When Tall Devon had been brought back to Aslan's camp and been made to wear medieval-ish clothes like the others, everyone dragged from the real world into this story got together and had a huge party, not even noticing that Kristy came to try and get Tall Devon back but then leaving with a much better deal (coughkillingAslancough).

So they partied all day and night, until about 2 in the morning when Melodie and Kaitlyn could party no more. They saw Aslan leaving the camp, in the direction of the Stone Table, and decided to follow. Aslan, absorbed in self-pity, didn't notice.

When Aslan reached the Stone Table where Kristy and her ugly little minions were, Melodie and Kaitlyn hid behind a really big tree to watch what would happen.

"Hey Mel, isn't that Tessa in the evil peoples' group there?" Kaitlyn asked suddenly.

Melodie took a more careful look and sure enough spotted Molly's little sister, Tessa, jumping up and down savagely with all the other ugly White Witch's minions.

"TESSA!" Melodie yelled, luckily not attracting the attention of any bad guys. "Kaitlyn, let's go visit her!"

"Uh... no," Kaitlyn replied. As a warlord she knew it not wise to enter a crowd of your enemies to visit someone's little sister.

While Melodie and Kaitlyn had been talking about Tessa, Aslan had been tied down on the Stone Table and killed. The two observers only noticed what had happened when all the bad guys left, leaving the place empty except for the two of them and Dead Aslan.

They ran up to the Stone Table and looked at Dead Aslan for a minute, then shrugged and went back to their camp, where the party had finally stopped, and everyone went to sleep to prepare for the war the next day.

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Hahaha, yay. Part five is done and I think it'll only take 1 or 2 more chapters to finish this story! Poor people who read this. Maybe I'll write another story with us in some movie! That'll be awesome. Yeah. Done now.