Entering Lucas's apartment it was different than she imagined it would be. Call her stereotypical but this was not a drunk mans apartment.
"What were expecting beer bottles everywhere?"
"Actually um... yea I was."
Lucas scoffed. "Yea you would."
"What is that supposed to mean." Peyton asked surprised and a little outraged.'
"Peyton have you forgotten that I know you. I bet you any money that you were expecting beer bottles everywhere, smoke clouding up the room, dishes and garbage everywhere and o yea maybe some dead mice.'
"Proves how little you know about me."
"Am I wrong?" Lucas challenged
Peyton looked at him and her new that she couldn't lie to him. "No you weren't wrong." That is the one thing she hated about their relationship and that was they couldn't lie to each other.
Peyton looked around the room and to her surprise it really was. The walls were white a little plain for her taste but she noticed that most of the furniture was black and it really worked well with the blank walls. There weren't many posters on the way except for a bulletin on the side of the wall. Peyton walked over casually while Lucas was in the bathroom. She didn't want to snoop but she couldn't help it. She went over and stood in front of it and what she saw made her gasp. It was pictures of her and Lucas. All the drawings that she drew of them…ever letter and postcard that she has written him. They were there.
"I hope you don't mind I uh sort of kept everything you gave me."
'Lucas…I…I didn't give you half of these…how did you… I mean how…"
"Yea well Brooke sort of helped me out with that. I guess you didn't pack everything. She said she went over your house right after you left not knowing that you left and well she found those. She gave them to me."
"That's a surprise. That doesn't really sound like Brooke."
'Yea, well it was the shooting. I guess all of us were a little out of it."
"Yea the shooting…Lucas I'm really sorry that I…"
"Shhhh….lets not talk about that. We have time. Right now I just want to enjoy this."
"Enjoy…enjoy what?" Peyton said playfully
"I think you know what I mean."
"Yea I just like hearing you say it."
"Come here"
Lucas pulled Peyton in his arms and kissed her softly. It wasn't like before. Before it was hard and passionate. It was quick and rushed but this was kinder and gentler. It was like they had all the time in the world.
Lucas led her into his room. He led her to the bed and softly laid her down. He laid on top of her enough so he was covering her but not enough that she was crushed. Lucas was starting to play with the hem of her shirt but then stopped. He lifted his head up from her neck and looked at her in her eyes.
"Lucas why are you stopping."
"I don't think we should you know."
"Lucas no…its okay I want to. I mean we just did it like not even an hour ago."
"Yea I know but Peyton I was drunk and all I ever wanted was to hold you in my arms after such a long time but I can't go through this again."
'Go through what Lucas…God don't you want me."
"Don't do that Peyton." Lucas sighed as he got up from the bed.
"Do what Lucas you just told me that you loved me. You told me that you couldn't be away from me and now you're stopping. I'm sorry if I don't understand."
"God, Peyton it's nothing like that. You know that I love you but…"
"No I don't know that Lucas. I don't even know you. I have been gone for a long time and when I left you were this sweet innocent broody guy and when I come back you're a drunk. Excuse me if I don't trust anything you say."
"But that's exactly it Peyton. You fucking left and you left me. When I needed you the most the one person I needed was not there."
"Lucas what are you talking about…you had Brooke. She was your girlfriend at the time Lucas. She tried so hard for you to let her in but you couldn't. Don't go blaming me that your world came crashing down just because you couldn't let her in."
"God Peyton you're so fucking stupid. Don't you understand…don't you get it. I couldn't let her in because there was no room left. It was you Peyton. It's always been you."
"Then why were you with Brooke. Why didn't you tell me how you felt?"
"WHEN! When you were making out with Jake…or when you were telling me I was like Nathan. When you were ignoring me or just plain pissed. Brooke was easier. She didn't have all these issues. She loved me unconditionally. You were too fucking hard."
"Then why are we having this conversation Lucas. You just said that I was too hard. Then why not let Brooke in Lucas huh why are you so fucking pissed."
'BECAUSE YOU NEVER LEFT!"
"What?" Peyton asked a little taken aback.
"Do you think I want to want you? Do you think I want to love you? I can't fucking help it. I tried to hide me feelings for you I tried to deny it but I couldn't. You were like this drug. No matter what I did I just wanted you. God Peyton do you have any fucking idea how it felt to see you with Jake. I felt sick to my stomach whenever I saw you kiss him or hold his hand or god even smiling at him. I can't get you out of my head Peyton. You won't go away. You won't leave me alone."
"Lucas I'm...I'm sorry."
"You're sorry Peyton."
"Yes I am I don't know what else to say."
"Well that's great...so what am I supposed to do Peyton. Am I supposed to let you go again huh...do you want me to sleep with you and fall for you just to see watch you marring Felix. This is why I we can't sleep together because it isn't just sex. Peyton I LOVE YOU so much that it hurts and I can't get you back just to lose you again. My heart can't handle it.
"But see that's the problem Lucas...were connected and no matter what you have me."
"Stop it Peyton..."
"NO! You had your little breakdown well it's my turn."
"Lucas when I left..."
Knock Knock
'FUCK! GO AWAY! Lucas yelled
KNOCK KNOCK
The knocking got louder and louder and more persistent and Lucas didn't really need this.
"Fuck hold on a minute."
Lucas left the bedroom and went to answer the door but before he new it he was on the floor. THUD! Peyton heard this and ran to the door in a panic
"What the he...OMG! Felix..."
So what do you guys think! Should I continue. REVIEW!
