My first Artemis Fowl fic! -happy dance- . Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl. Or Skittles. Or sour gummy worms. I DO own a vampire rabbit named Bunnicula. Yes, the vampire IS named after a book. P.S. I write in 3rd person. I like the word tis. How many ammino acids does an enzyme have?
------------------------------------- In which Neko appeares.-----------------------------------------------------------
Artemis sat on a couch. Or if Fowl Manor didn't have couches, he sat on a chair. But wouldn't that be uncomfortable? Whatever. He sat somewhere. Artemis was bored. He began smashing his head upon whatever was near his yet unspecified location. Butler ran in, distracted from doing whatever he was doing, by the loud banging that Artemis's head was making. Unless Artemis was banging his head on a pillow, because then he would make a poof sound. After Butler ran in, a girl POOFED in. Yay POOF! Anyways, unfortunately the girl (The All-Mighty Authoress named Neko,) could not fly, so therefore landed on Butler's head. Then a chain reaction was caused (Woooooow. Scary.) This is how is happened; 1) Butler yelled which caused 2) Neko to freak which made 3) Artemis raise his eyebrows, wondering how on earth this idiot got here, which made 4) Foaly pick up the screams on his surveillance network which made him 5) decide to send Holly in (Don't ask me why).
Holly appeared with another POOF, because the Authoress likes POOFS. Then Neko decided to take out her weaponry, to do what she came here for. She pulled a waffle out of her Endless Pocket. Neko ate the waffle because she was hungry. Then she pulled out her weaponry. Her weaponry was one piece of bacon, and a really hot French fry. Then Neko noticed Holly. She began alternately poking Artemis and Holly with her bacon and French fry. "Fry poke. Bacon poke." Neko said, doing the corresponding action to her words. Fry. Bacon. Fry. Bacon." And so it went for a couple minutes until Artemis finally had the sense to eat the French fry that he was being attacked with. After he ate it, he realised the French fry was really, really hot. Artemis ran around, his taste buds being fried by the heat. "SMEE!" yelled Neko, and began running after Artemis, because she had just eaten a packet of sour gummy worms and Skittles and was on a sugar rush. After 3 hours Holly and Artemis had finally managed to catch Neko and put her in a straight jacket. But Neko used the Houdini manoeuvre and escaped. "HA! TIS MY MIGHTYNESS! FEAR TEH POW-" Neko suddenly stopped talking because Artemis had gagged her, stolen her Keyboard Of Awesome Power and un-POOFED her. Thus the story ended because of lack of Authoress.
