Chapter 28

When Bruno left

5 years before Encanto


Pepa lay wrapped up in Félix's arms, her head resting against him as she breathed in the comforting smell of his shirt. Félix's arms were tight around her body, helping her to feel safe.

The crib beside them was empty and filled with water. Abuela had taken Antonio to the nursery almost immediately, his parents' room being too sporadic and unsafe for the new baby. Pepa had been going back and forth between states of numb and chaos. It'd snow softly as she'd sleep for hours at end, then it'd storm and she'd wake up in a panic, screaming and crying as the room flashed and thundered around her.

Félix hadn't left her side. He would rub her back and hold her tight through her panic, his voice gentle and reassuring as he'd remind her she was safe, that it was all over now, that she was ok.

Pepa didn't feel ok. Her body had been healed by Julieta, but her mind was heavy and her heart ached. Pepa felt so incredibly tired all the time, like she'd never be able to live a normal life again. It felt like all she wanted to do was sleep, and anything more than that was exhausting, the thought of it making her anxious.

She'd felt ok at first, overcome with the relief of surviving the birth and the joy of meeting their new baby, but the moment it was all over and Pepa was able to rest, everything fell apart. Pepa felt like a long distance runner who finally made it to the end of a marathon and collapsed as she crossed the finish line.

As she lay in Félix's arms, Pepa heard the sound of the door opening and her sister, Mamá and Agustín's voices speaking softly to eachother. She felt Félix stroke her hair as they approached.

"How's she doing?" Julieta's voice whispered.

"Sleeping." Félix responded quietly, his gentle fingers running through Pepa's hair.

Pepa took a breath, but felt too tired and heavy to open her eyes. It was like everything around her was happening in a dream.

"I made these," There was a tap of plate against wood. "For when she's awake again. It should help."

"Thanks, angel."

She felt another hand touch her hair, and recognised Julieta's familiar smell as her sister rested her head against her. Pepa relaxed, feeling comforted by Julieta's presence and soft breath against her face.

Pepa wondered where Bruno was.

"She's still snowing." Abuela sighed sadly.

A part of Pepa felt like she was supposed to feel guilty, or try to fix the cloud, but she was too exhausted to do anything about it. Her body shuddered.

"Shh, Mamá." She heard Julieta whisper. "Don't."

Pepa felt Julieta kiss her face.

She wanted to open her eyes and look at Julieta, to speak to her, but it was like Pepa's body didn't remember how to do that anymore. A heavy weight was pushing down over her and there was a dull pain in her chest. Pepa took slow, deep breaths and lay still, waiting for the pain to pass again.

There was a moment of silence, then Félix spoke up in a quiet voice.

"No luck then?"

"He wasn't there."

"Miércoles."

The was more silence. Pepa listened hopefully.

Bruno. Were they talking about Bruno?

She wanted her brother here so badly. She wanted to hold onto him, to tell him how scared she was. She wanted to hear his jokes and stories. She wanted to watch his rat show, and laugh again.

Bruno understood Pepa's darkness and hopelessness in a way no one else could. He knew exactly how to make that scared part of Pepa feel ok again, because he understood it. He knew what it felt like. When Pepa and Bruno were together, they both felt less alone.

"The townsfolk have started to stop searching." Agustín spoke up in a sad voice. "They say he's probably passed the mountains by now."

"Has Dolores heard anything?" Félix asked.

"Still nothing."

Pepa's heart dropped. Had something bad happened to Bruno?

Summoning all the strength that she had, Pepa opened her eyes.

"Bruno." She muttered, looking up at their concerned faces. "What's happened?"

Julieta glanced at Abuela, who held up a hand. Abuela widened her eyes a little at Julieta in warning, before turning to Pepa with a soft expression.

"Pepa." Abuela smiled, coming to the bedside and gently stroking her forehead. "You're awake, mija."

"Where's Bruno?"

"Shh... Get some more rest, corazón. You'll feel better after you sleep some more."

"Mamá," Pepa searched Abuela's eyes. "Where is he?"

Abuela looked back at her with a calm expression, continuing to stroke her face. "Don't worry about that right now. Hm? You need to get your strength back first. Everything is-"

A cloud thundered above them, making everyone jump in surprise.

"Mamá." Pepa repeated, her voice hard now. "Tell me."

Julieta glanced at Abuela. "She should know, Mamá."

Abuela shot a look at Julieta, trying to silently warn her. Pepa was not ready for this.

Julieta stared back at her Mamá pleadingly. Abuela glanced at Pepa, who was watching them.

"What should I know?" Pepa asked, searching their faces in suspicion. "Mamá? Where's Bruno?"

Abuela sighed in resignation, knowing it was too late now.

Ay. Pedro help us all.

"Bruno has left us." Abuela admitted, her voice solemn. "He's left the family."

The cloud thundered again as Pepa's heart started to race. She stared at her Mamá in disbelief, then turned to Julieta. Her sister took a shaky breath and nodded in confirmation.

"Then I will help find him." Pepa decided, forcing herself to sit up, the urgency of the situation lending her strength she couldn't find before. "We need to find him before it gets dark. Did you already check behind the church? The casita roof?"

"Pepa." Julieta gently tried to interrupt, but Pepa wasn't listening.

"The top of his tower? Sometimes he's up there but he's hiding. You need to look behind the-"

"Pepa." Julieta spoke again, her voice firmer this time.

Pepa hesitated, watching as Julieta took her hand in hers. Julieta sighed, looking down at her sister's hand and stroking it, before looking into her eyes.

"It's been nine days, Pepi."

Pepa's eyes softened. What?

Pepa looked around, waiting for somebody to tell her it wasn't true. They all looked back at her sadly.

"It hasn't!" She protested, looking from face to face, desperate for someone to agree with her. "I saw him just the other day, when I had Antonio! It hasn't even been that long."

"You've been sleeping, mi amor." Félix said gently, his hand stroking her back.

Pepa breathed quickly, but there wasn't enough air. She turned back to her sister with a fierce expression. Julieta's eyes softened.

"You're lying!" Pepa shouted at Julieta. "Don't lie to me, Julieta!" Thunder crashed furiously with her words. "Liar!"

Julieta's lip trembled, her eyes filling with tears. She let go of Pepa's hand and closed her eyes. Agustín rushed over and brought Julieta in close, hugging her. Julieta hid her face against him and took a shaky breath.

"We're all upset, Pepa." Agustín frowned defensively.

Pepa's clouds thundered again as she glared at Agustín. "Why didn't you tell me?! Why did you let me think he was ok?" She turned back to Julieta. "Liar!"

"Enough, Pepa!" Abuela interrupted, her voice strong as she rushed over. "That's enough of that."

Abuela put a protective hand over Julieta's shoulder.

"I know you are hurting," Abuela spoke sternly. "But it is no excuse to attack your sister like that. Julieta has done nothing wrong." She stroked Julieta's hair as she spoke. "I don't know why Bruno has left us, but you cannot blame Julieta. She has done everything she can to help this family." Abuela then pointed a finger at Pepa, her words slow and clear. "You would do well to remember this, Pepa. You would not be here today if not for Julieta. It is her gift that protected you and Antonio, and while you have been lying here-"

"Ay!" Félix interrupted, his arms wrapping around Pepa's shoulders.

"Mamá, don't!" Julieta gasped.

Pepa shuddered in pain.

Her cloud started to rain as the heavy weight pressed down on her chest again. She didn't have the strength to take on Mamá's guilt. It was too much. Pepa felt herself crumple. She closed her eyes and groaned, wishing there was a way to just disappear, for all of this to end.

"I'm sorry, mija." Abuela said softly, stroking her daughter's face, wiping a tear as it rolled down Pepa's cheek. "Look at me."

"I want Bruno."

Abuela sighed. "Bruno is not coming home." She took a heavy breath, then regained composure. "He has abandoned this family. And we must all learn to live with that, Pepa."

The clouds thundered as Pepa's breathing became hard and fast. Rain poured down heavier as the wind began to spiral with her thoughts. No. She was wrong. They were all wrong. Bruno wouldn't do this to her. He was still here. He had to be. They just hadn't looked hard enough. Bruno wouldn't just leave them like that.

"Pepa," Abuela began, but Pepa pushed past her Mama and jumped from the bed, her legs buckling under her weight as they adjusted to being used again. She pushed herself back up and ran for the door, the storm following her.


"Bruno!"

Pepa slammed open her brother's door, a storm raging around her.

She ran up the stairs of his tower, gasping for breath as she climbed, her legs trembling in exertion as she'd slip and fall against the wet steps, then pull herself back up and keep running.

"Bruno!" Pepa called out between gasps, tears and rainwater streaking down her face as her eyes searched the tower. "Bruno! It's me! Come out, please Bruno! Come out."

She reached the top of the tower, entering the vision cave. It was empty too. She turned back, her eyes wide and her chest heaving. No, no, no... He couldn't be gone.

"Brunito?"

She left the cave and searched the tower in panic, her heart pounding fast. Her chest tightened until it felt like she was choking on her own breath.

"Bruno!" She whimpered between gasps, her voice desperate. "It's me, it's Pepa."

She looked around breathlessly, her eyes wide and worried. The storm flashed, lighting up the walls of the tower.

He was gone.

No... He'd promised Pepa. He said he'd never leave her. He said he'd never give up on her.

Pepa's eyes hardened in betrayal, anger rising up inside of her like fire.

Why did he leave her?

Mamá's voice echoed in Pepa's head. Bruno is not coming home. He has abandoned this family.

Pepa took a shuddering breath, then screamed out in anguish. As she did, her eyes glowed bright and a hurricane formed around her.

Pepa's powers were fierce. They tore through Bruno's tower and stripped it of all its colourful furniture and decor, destroying everything in its path until all that remained was a bare cavern of stone and sand. The lively statues crumbled and broke, leaving behind warped and horrific stone faces.

Cracks spread up the stone walls around Pepa, pieces of ceiling crumbling and sand spilling down like waterfalls. The floor in the centre of the room collapsed and formed a deep abyss as Pepa's powers tore through Bruno's room and destroyed it.

Pepa fell to her knees, the glow from her eyes fading. She looked down at the abyss in front of her, too devastated to feel guilty for breaking the casita.

Pepa was done with feeling guilty. She'd given Mama everything she'd wanted. She'd endured five long years of hell to bring Mamá another miracle, and now it was done. It was over. The magic had been saved and Pepa had nothing else to give. She felt broken beyond repair.

Mama had used her all up and now she was empty. Bruno had left her behind. Julieta and Agustín probably hated her. She was a burden on Félix and her children. All she did was hurt them. She hurt everyone who ever loved her, and she hated it. She hated the storms. She hated herself.

Pepa forced herself up to her feet, her bruised legs trembling as she slowly stepped towards the edge of the abyss, the wind blowing in her hair.

The storm around her was torrential. She stared down at the drop, and thunder crashed. She took a shaky breath, remembering all the people running and hiding from her storms. She remembered all the times she'd brought shame down on her family. Bruno holding her hand as Mamá shouted at them. They'd always been in this together. Now Pepa was alone.

She looked up at the rain and took a deep breath, closing her eyes. No more clouds.

Pepa stepped off the edge.

"Ay!" Félix reached his wife just in time, catching her around the waist and pulling her back to safety. Felix panted for breath, exhausted from running up all the stairs. "Where you going amor?" He gasped, bringing Pepa back from the edge and sitting her down on the wet sand, the rain pouring over them.

Felix held Pepa's shaking body against him as she sobbed in shame, unable to look at him.

"It's ok." Félix squeezed her tight, kissing her face. "It's ok. I got you." He rested his head on hers, his breath in her hair. "You're gonna be ok, mi vida. Yeah? You're gonna be ok. I got you."

"I can't." Pepa shuddered, gasping for breath. "I can't do it."

Felix kept kissing her, his hand firmly stroking up and down her back. He kept his chest pressed tight against hers, the warmth and pressure comforting Pepa.

"Yes, you can." Félix encouraged. "I promise you can. You know why? Because we're gonna do it together."

Pepa shook her head. She was so sick of burdening Félix.

"One day at a time, amor." Félix kissed her. "That's all we gotta do. Just one day at a time." He looked into her eyes, his voice gentle. "Even if all we do is sleep. That's ok. Hm? We're allowed to rest." He kissed her again. "All we gotta do is make it to tomorrow."

Pepa looked away, feeling ashamed. The storm continued to rage around them. "I'm sorry, Félix." She whispered, hiding her face from him. "I just... wanted it to stop."

"I know you did." He kissed her forehead, his voice genuine as he carefully turned her to face him, wiping under her eyes. "It's been so hard on you, amor. Way too much. You've been carrying all of this for so long." He pressed his hand firmly against her back, holding her tight to his chest. "And you did so well, mi corazón. Such a brave girl... You've been strong for such a long time. I'm so proud of you."

Pepa broke down into tears at his words, her body shuddering as she sobbed. Félix rubbed her back and held her tight.

"That's it, amor. Let it out." He said quietly. "That's good."

Félix held Pepa like that for a while, the rain pouring down over them. Eventually she stopped crying, and the rain slowly faded into fog. Pepa lay against Félix in silence, the only sound being the soft tinkling of sand as it fell from the ceiling. More time passed, then Pepa finally spoke up.

"I want to get out of here." Her eyes glanced around Bruno's tower.

"Ok," Félix kissed her face. "We're going now." He brushed sand from her hair and smiled in encouragement. "And you know what? Everything's gonna get easier from now on, amor. I promise."

Félix slipped his arm under Pepa's knees and the other wrapped around her body, lifting her up. "Coz we're gonna carry it together. See?" He smiled, standing up and rubbing his face against hers.

"Some days I'm gonna carry you, and that's ok. Because other days you're gonna carry me." He grinned at her.

Pepa hugged her arms around Félix's shoulders in gratitude and rested her head against him. She saw the abyss behind them and quickly turned away.

"I mean it, amor." Félix grinned as he carried her back down the steps of Bruno's ruined tower. His hand playfully squeezed her arm. "I hope you start exercising up these biceps, hm?" He teased. "So they're ready to carry me. Because I have been eating a lot of cakes lately."

Pepa couldn't help but smile, resting her face against Félix as he carried her. She loved him so much.


As they passed Bruno's door and headed into the casita, Pepa stared back at the carving of her brother's face in the wood. She took a shaky breath.

"Don't let me go, Félix." Pepa whispered, hugging tight.

"Never." Félix glanced over his shoulder with a reassuring smile and kissed Pepa's face. "I got you, amor. I won't let you go, I promise."

He walked to their bedroom, then stopped as they both heard a soft voice from behind them.

"Pepa."

Julieta stood at her bedroom door, coming out at the sound of their voices. She watched them with sad eyes.

Félix glanced at Pepa, who nodded for him to put her down.

Pepa stood beside her husband and stared over at her sister, unsure what to do. A grey cloud sprinkled over her as Julieta slowly approached.

She stood in front of Pepa with a gentle expression. Julieta carefully reached for her face, and Pepa let her. She brushed sand out of Pepa's hair, then put a hand to her cheek, stroking it as she looked into her eyes.

"I love you." Julieta said in a soft voice.

Pepa rested her forehead against hers.

"I love you, too."


The tired feeling returned, but Pepa couldn't sleep. Félix lay behind Pepa with his arm around her, his warm breath blowing in her hair as he dreamed.

Julieta lay in front of her, snuggled up close to her chest as Pepa hugged her, her arms tight around Julieta's warm body. The smell and feel of her sister's soft hair against her face was soothing.

Pepa sighed, feeling comforted by the pressure of their bodies as they pressed firmly into her aching chest from either side.

"Are you awake?" Julieta whispered.

Pepa nodded.

"You can't sleep?" Julieta asked.

"No."

"Same."

Pepa ran her fingers through Julieta's hair and rubbed her scalp, knowing this was something that her sister finds comforting.

She felt Julieta relax, so Pepa kissed her head and continued. It felt good to help her.

"I'm really glad you're still here, Pepa." Julieta whispered. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you too."

A cloud appeared over her head as Pepa remembered the abyss and her heart sunk down in guilt. She rested her face against Julieta's head, continuing to rub her hair in silence.

"When you had Antonio, and we almost lost you," Julieta continued in a hushed tone. "That was the scariest moment of my entire life." She shuddered at the memory. "You went so cold and still, Pepi. And the weather. It just... Stopped. The air went stagnant and the room felt..." Julieta shuddered again. "Empty."

Pepa saw her sister's eyes glitter against the moonlight and realised that Julieta was crying. Pepa touched her face, finding that it was all wet. She gently wiped her tears.

"I didn't want you to go through all that." Julieta continued, her voice a whisper. "It was horrible to watch. I begged Mama not to make you do it... It wasn't fair. I told her I'd rather lose all our gifts and let the casita crumble to dust than lose you."

"You won't lose me." Pepa whispered back, her voice genuine.

"Thank you." Julieta smiled, hugging Pepa tight. "You won't lose me either. I promise."

Pepa hesitated, her chest tightening. She looked down at Julieta. Her sister's eyes were shining bright with sincerity.

"You really promise?" Pepa whispered. "You won't leave us?"

"What, leave my family?" Julieta shook her head. "Never."

Pepa's cloud rained down in guilt. She thought about how much Camilo loved and adored her. The sweet smile and peep Dolores made when Pepa hugged her. She thought about sweet Antonio, and how he'd almost had to grow up not knowing his Mamá. Pepa shuddered in regret as the rain poured down harder.

Félix stirred in his sleep, making a soft whimper in discomfort.

Pepa sat up, watching Félix with an apologetic expression as she stroked her hair.

"Clear skies, clear skies..." Pepa whispered, trying to find a happy thought to stop the rain.

She glanced over at Julieta, who had also sat up. She watched Pepa, her eyes full of love and support.

"Clear skies, clear skies..."

"You can do it." Julieta encouraged. "I believe in you."

Pepa looked at her in surprise.

"Ay! Cmon, Pepi. You know this!" Julieta grinned. "It's not a new revelation. I've always believed in you."

Pepa smiled, letting go of her hair and taking her sisters hands.

"Go on." Julieta smiled back in encouragement. "You got this, Pepi. I promise you do."

Pepa turned around to clear the cloud, but was surprised to see it was already gone. She turned back to Julieta.

"See?" Julieta smiled, hugging her sister tight.