It had been three weeks since New Asgard had been attacked, and while the damage had been repaired and the residents were moving on, Freya Wilkes was stuck. She had been trapped in the medical centre ever since she had been injured, and she was growing more and more restless by the day. Though hers had been a mortal wound, it was now almost healed, and she was glad to be able to move around with little pain. However, no matter how many times she tried to move around her room, she was soon chased back to her bed. Her protestations had fallen on deaf ears, for though she had pointed out that she needed to build her stamina, Eir had argued that she needed rest first and foremost. Freya's frustrations were only growing by the day, and the view from her window was not helping matters either. It had a beautiful vista of the harbour, and she had enjoyed watching the people go about their days from it, while the sunsets were rather spectacular. However, now it seemed to taunt her, for it only reminded her of what she could not have. Oh, how she longed to feel the sea breeze against her skin and the sand beneath her toes… She wanted nothing more than fresh air and a change of scenery, for she knew that they would help her, but instead she was trapped in the healing quarter. Freya was aware that they could only keep her here for so long, but she prayed that she would be released soon, for she despised medical centres with a passion. Hospitals and doctors' surgeries only brought back memories of pain and misery, and she was desperate to get away.
Freya was also missing her routines and her daily life. She really missed her cat, and though Hilda had assured her that Sif was being well cared for, it just was not the same. The pictures and videos were not quite enough, and Freya could not wait to be reunited with her pet, as she missed the reassuring purrs and cuddles. Her cats had always known when she needed them, and she needed hers right now. Eir had forbidden it though, and the Goddess had been furious when Astrid had tried to smuggle the creature in. Freya had made do with seeing them through the window, for it was better than nothing, but she could not wait to have Sif curled up on her lap when she was released. She also missed her daily walks and her lessons with the Asgardians, as well as the feasts and just general routine of living here. She longed to return to work, for she had no doubt that she would have much to catch up on, especially as she had already been a little behind with things before the attack. Then again, Freya still had no idea if she had a job to return to, for Thor had not replied to her messages and no one else seemed to know either way.
The only good thing of all of this was that she had time to rest. She had spent much of her time sleeping, reading, or catching up on numerous TV shows and movies that she had been wanting to watch. She was also never alone, for she always had company in the form of her family or friends. At first, Freya had not minded this too much, for it did keep her distracted, but as time wore on, she was growing incredibly envious of their freedom. Her parents had since gone home, for the could not afford any more time off work, while Astrid was to return to London at the weekend. Hilda and Ragnar had since visited a bit more frequently, but as grateful as she was, Freya wished that she could have some time for herself when she was not sleeping. There was much for her to deal with, and she knew that only she would be able to figure things out for her future.
Of all her visitors though, Freya had not yet seen the one person that she so dearly needed to speak to. Her need to apologise was overwhelming, while she had so many questions that only he could answer. It did not help that their last words had been in anger, and though Freya was still deeply hurt and frustrated by his recent behaviour towards her, she was also in his debt. She had no doubt that she would have died without his actions, and she knew that there was no way for her to ever repay him for it. Yet she knew that he was unlikely to give her the time of day once she was released, and she feared that she would not have the opportunity to make amends. She was very much aware that he would be angry with her for her stunt with the sceptre, and she knew that her action would have come with a heavy price for him. Ragnar had already pointed out that the Trickster had been imprisoned as a result of the attack, and for a short while, Freya had convinced herself that this was why he had not visited. However, as time wore on, she realised that he would not come. What she had done was unforgivable, and no amount of words or apologies would be able to fix it. She had spent many an hour drafting out letters of apology on her phone, and yet she had not sent any of them, for they could not do it justice. All she could do then was pray that she had the opportunity to talk to him before she left New Asgard.
Freya was also trying to figure out what to do for the best when she was finally released. Though she was nearly fully recovered physically, her mental health still had a long way to go, and she knew that this was partly why Eir had not yet released her. The nightmares were truly terrifying, and Freya rarely had a night without at least one bad dream. Her anxiety was also back with a vengeance, although try as she might, Freya had been unable to cry since the attack. She knew it was only a matter of time before a panic attack hit her, but she had not been able to shift it nor had she been able to break. The fact that she always had company was proving to be a hindrance in that regard, but Freya was not going to turn away her friends, especially when she needed them the most.
The one thing she really needed to know was whether she still had her job or not. Loki's dismissal had haunted her ever since he had told her to leave, and though Hilda had protested at every opportunity she got, Freya had not received any confirmation regarding her job status. As it was, she was starting to think about moving back to her parents' house and finding something to tide her over while she figured things out. Both Hilda and Ragnar wanted her to stay in New Asgard, and Freya had no wish to leave, but she knew that she could not defy the Prince's instructions. She was also aware that if she left, then she may not be able to visit and that broke her heart, for she had no wish to lose her friends. Yet she was unsure if she could remain here, for the Trickster had told her to leave. Regardless of her employment, Freya was also wondering if she could stay anyway, considering how hard the past few months had been and the fact that she could not take any more heartache. The one thing that she did know for certain was that she had to move on, for it was clear that the Prince would never be hers, regardless of whether she stayed or not. He had made his feelings towards her pretty clear, and so she had to get past her crush. After all, she was a grown woman, and she deserved someone who would look after her and make her happy. Despite what her favourite stories told her, Freya did not need a prince for that. Yet she knew she would not find a romance like those in the books she had been reading either, for life was not an Austen novel, no matter how much she wished to find her perfect gentleman.
"Shouldn't you be sleeping Wilkes?" Freya was disrupted from her thoughts, and she frowned as she peered over the book she had been attempting to read. Though Stark frequently appeared in New Asgard to help with the technological aspect of settling on Earth, Freya had done everything she could to avoid him. Today, however, there was nowhere to escape to, and she sighed as she closed her book.
"I could ask you the same thing." She replied snarkily, for it was gone midnight, and she was in no mood to be dealing with him.
"It's early evening in New York." He shrugged as he peered curiously at the machines surrounding her.
"So you thought you'd drop by?" She asked, while he flashed her a smile.
"Something like that." Freya knew that a much younger version of herself would be elated to have the Avenger visit her in her sickbed, but that had been before she had helped Loki and been seen as the enemy by the heroes.
"I'm taking it that this is not just a social call?" Freya guessed as he fiddled with a couple of wires.
"I have a few questions." He admitted. "I mean, you were quite out of it the other day, and I would like to clarify a few things."
"Go on." She prompted, hoping that he would leave as soon as he had his answers.
"What exactly happened on the night of the attack?" He asked as he paced at the foot of her bed. "And why did you have the sceptre on you?"
"I am assuming the sceptre is safe?" He nodded, and Freya was a little reassured at this fact. "I was foolish. Thor had entrusted the sceptre to my care about a month or so ago, for he knew I would use it only if absolutely necessary."
"So you believed that Loki was responsible for the attack? That sounds very unlike you…"
"I did not." She corrected him. "Loki would never attack his own people, especially after everything they have gone through."
"Then why did you have it?"
"Because I wanted answers." Freya told him, somewhat ashamed of her actions, while his curiosity was piqued.
"Answers?"
"There was a disagreement, and it led to myself being brushed aside. I wanted to make amends, but try as I might, I would not be heard, so I reached breaking point. I thought that he would have no choice but to listen to me if he knew I had the sceptre." Freya admitted as she bit her lip. "I am not proud of what I did."
"You threatened the God of Mischief?" He asked, a little surprised, while she shook her head.
"I was desperate."
"That is why you were in the gardens?"
"No. We had an altercation at the feast, before the attack. I am sorry to say that I dropped the sceptre while trying to get to safety, and when I realised… Well, I know what it can do, and in the wrong hands…" She hesitated, for she could feel the fear kick in as memories of that night flooded her brain.
"Did you use it?"
"Well, I managed to translate it before…." Freya faltered, for she had not spoken of the events since that night, and she was struggling to find the words.
"It's alright Freya. I know how it ends." He assured her as he passed her a glass of water. Freya sipped it gratefully, glad for the distraction.
"I have just one more question, and then I'll be out of your way."
"That question being?" She asked, hoping he would leave her alone, for she could feel herself on edge.
"Do you know why he saved you?"
"Who?" She asked, knowing full well what he was about to say.
"Loki." Stark stated, and Freya sipped her drink, for she truly had no idea. She had been questioning it ever since Ragnar had told her, and she had not yet come up with a satisfactory reason.
"I believe he was bound to my will at that point, and I obviously had no wish to die." She told him, for she knew that it would protect the Prince from further disciplinary actions.
"Yet surely the connection would be weak, would it not?"
"Possibly, although I could not tell you for certain." She hesitated, while Stark did not seem convinced. "I mean, it may have created a stronger one since I have used it before… Otherwise, he probably has need of me for something, though I could not tell you what considering he had dismissed me less than an hour before I was shot."
"Why would he dismiss you after all you have been through together?" He asked as he stopped in his tracks.
"That I do not know." She sighed, but Stark was not convinced.
"You truly have no idea why he would risk everything to save you?"
"I am sure he has his reasons." She shrugged. "I mean, I haven't seen him since the feast, and I only have your word that he…"
"I have proof." He pointed out, before pulling it up on a screen. Freya stared at the footage and winced as she saw herself fall, but only a moment later, she had been in Loki's arms. Tony zoomed in on the pair at this point, and Freya was startled to see the sheer tenderness in which she had been treated. Though there was no sound, she could see the desperation and fear in Loki's eyes, and this was only causing more questions to arise. It was also causing hope, and she desperately tried to quash it.
"I…" She faltered as he paused the video.
"You are more than just friends, aren't you?" Freya just sighed deeply, for she had no wish to admit it, and yet she knew that she did not really have much of an option.
"We have barely spoken in weeks, but before that, we were rather close." She admitted.
"You were dating?"
"I wish." Freya sighed, while Stark grinned, and she had no doubt that he had just won a bet. "We were just friends, and I was determined that was all we were ever going to be."
"But you wanted more?"
"I mean, he is rather charming and handsome, and attentive…" She trailed off. "And a prince. I mean, I don't know of any woman who wouldn't want someone like that."
"He does not exactly strike me as Prince Charming though."
"I know." Freya agreed. "And he is the God of Lies. I know he has manipulated people for his own ends, and that is why I was careful around him. It started off as a stupid crush, but then… Well, I tried not to let it affect my work. I can only assume that he discovered the truth and distanced himself because of it."
"So it is not returned?"
"Not as far as I know." Freya told him honestly, although the image in front of her told her otherwise. "I can only assume that this display here is because of the sceptre."
"Hmm…" Tony did not seem convinced, but Freya did not know what else to say. After all, she had no idea why Loki would save her so soon after dismissing her otherwise. "You do seem to have healed rather quickly too…"
"I am guessing that it is because I am under the care of the Goddess of Healing." She told him, for it had not escaped her notice either. This seemed to satisfy him.
"One last thing then."
"Go on."
"What will you do once you are released?"
"I am still figuring that out." She admitted, before the door opened and the pair turned to see Eir standing there. She glared at Stark and immediately chased him out, causing Freya to smile slightly, for the Goddess could be truly formidable. Astrid had certainly been more subdued around her since they had clashed a week ago, and Freya was truly grateful to be rescued from Stark's scrutiny. It was only once he had gone that she allowed herself a deep breath, and she focused purely on the room before her. Eir gave her a kindly smile as she handed her a cup of herbal tea, and Freya sipped it while they chatted about inconsequential things.
"Better?" Eir asked after a few moments, and Freya nodded, for the fear had passed. "He must have snuck past me." The healer sighed as she checked on Freya's wound and vitals. "And you should probably try to get some sleep."
"I can try." Freya sighed, for she could not stop thinking of the image of Loki cradling her in his arms.
"Sleep well. I will be here if you need me." With that, Freya settled down and closed her eyes.
It was of no surprise that her dreams were of the night of the attack, although this time it was as if she was watching from afar. She watched helplessly as her counterpart ran into the gardens and faced Derek, for there was nothing she could do to prevent their actions. The shot echoed across the settlement, and she had watched sadly as they fell to the ground. Then Loki had appeared, and she could see the sheer anger in his eyes as he saw the fallen consultant. He had not hesitated to be by her side, and she felt her heart pang as she heard his pleas for the woman to stay with him. There was such tenderness to his actions, and Freya wondered if this was her doing. Had this been because of the sceptre? Or had there been something else there? But she could hear the desperation in his voice and his words, and she almost felt his embrace. Though she had been dying, at least she had been with someone she cared for.
But as the nightmare came to an end, Freya could still feel a cool touch upon her skin, and there was a different song. It sounded gentler and softer, and all her fears melted away. A gentle hand brushed a stray curl from her face, and then lingered against her cheek, while she tried to wake up, hoping that this was not a dream. She knew the voice rather well, and the scent of leather and books gave away their identity. The person she so desperately wanted to see was standing so close to her, and she willed her eyes to open, but they simply would not co-operate.
"Hush now Freya. I promise you are safe here." He assured her, before he sang a different tune. Freya instantly recognised it as an Asgardian lullaby, and though she tried to fight the urge to sleep, it was not long before she was back in the world of dreams.
