Today had not gone to plan, and the God of Mischief desperately hoped that this evening would go far better than the rest of his day. Even if it didn't, at least he had the excuse to drink himself senseless at the feast, for he was done with dealing with people today. He had spent most of the day overseeing the preparations for tonight's feast, and every time he had gone to leave, there had been something else that needed doing or checking or sorting. It was rather infuriating, and Loki had only managed to escape an hour or so ago. It was more frustrating because he had finally decided to visit Freya, for he knew that had to speak with her, and yet he had barely made it out of his room before his plans had been changed.
He dearly missed the consultant's advice, for she would have happily sorted out this event and found the substitutes without issue. She would have answered every question without hesitation, and she would have done the lion's share of the research needed. Instead, much of the preparations had fallen to Loki, and it had quickly become apparent that New Asgard needed their consultant, especially when it came to events such as these. He had spent hours researching Midgard and the various things that they might need, and though Thor had tried to help, they had not gotten far. He was very much aware that he could have gotten his answers much sooner if he had just swallowed his pride and visited the wounded girl, but he had been determined to prove that they did not need a Midgardian to help with one of their oldest traditions. Oh, just how wrong he had been…
The thing was, they would normally be celebrating Álfablót today, but they were sorely lacking in the things needed for it. What few livestock they had were much needed for other provisions, and even if some could be spared for the feast, there definitely weren't enough to feed everyone. There was little in the way of crops, for there were only a couple that had been ready for harvesting, and though everyone was trying to make do with what they had, it just was not the same. What was even worse was the fact that this time of year was for celebrating the memories of deceased loved ones, but this year they had very little to remember them by. The burial mounds had been destroyed with Asgard, and they could no longer view the stars that they were most familiar with. Therefore the decision had been made a few months ago to celebrate a variation of the same kind of festival, and that was a Midgardian one called Samhain. It still involved commemorating the dead and the turn of the seasons, but there were fewer rituals involved. The Asgardians could still have their own rituals at home, but this evening would see everyone united in their memories of all who had been lost. The past twelve months had seen them lose so much that they were in desperate need of an event like this. Even Loki had lost more than his home. Though Odin had not been his biological father and certainly had not been much of a parent to him, he had still raised him. They may not have seen eye to eye, but Loki's time disguised as the Allfather had made him realise just why the King had acted as he had. He had been surprised to discover that he missed him, though not as much as he missed Frigga. He dearly wished that she was still alive, for he needed her soothing touch and her wisdom more than ever right now.
He sighed again as he checked his outfit in the mirror. Though he had intended on going to the healers' quarters, he had not actually made it out of the palace before he was asked to help with the decorating. He had spent most of the day dealing with people, and he had retreated to his room once the opportunity had presented itself. He had spent far too much time here recently, and though he longed to stretch his legs, he knew that he would only face more angry Asgardians. Though he was used to the stares and the whispers, he did not particularly enjoy them. Many still blamed him for Ragnarok, and the fact that he had risked their home for the life of a mortal…. Well, it only caused more resentment. Every time he had dared to set foot out of the palace recently, he had faced some form of argument, whether it was the fact he had saved Freya or sacked her, or that he had hidden himself away, or that New Asgard was not right… He was growing very tired of it, but there was little he could do to deal with it, especially as whatever he did seemed to upset people. He had tried talking to them and persuading them that he had done the right thing, but few had listened. He had also tried talking to the Council to see if they could do anything, but he had just been assured that things would blow over soon.
"I must say brother, you have done rather a fine job so far. The hall is looking suitably festive." Loki turned to the door to find Thor smiling. The God of Thunder had a terrible habit of walking in without knocking, and no matter how many times Loki objected to it, Thor would not listen.
"Thank you." Loki bowed his head before straightening his tunic. One of the benefits of being royalty was having access to such fine clothes, and though he was not in his usual green, he rather admired how handsome this outfit made him look. "Though I am warning you now, you need to find someone else to organise Yule. One day was bad enough, but twelve… No." The God of Thunder chuckled at this.
"Then we should probably be looking for a new consultant to join us." Thor pointed out, and Loki groaned, for they had not yet agreed on their best course of action regarding Freya.
"We already have one."
"You dismissed her though, or had you forgotten that?" Thor unhelpfully reminded him, while the Trickster shook his head. He had not forgotten the events of that night at all. The sorrow in Freya's eyes when he had told her to leave had haunted him ever since, especially as they could have been the last words he had ever spoken to her… "Or are you having second thoughts?"
"I sincerely doubt I will survive another earful from Hilda and Ragnar if I let her go…." Loki admitted, although the brothers both knew that there was another reason why Loki did not want her to leave.
"You want her to stay?" Thor questioned as they started walking through the palace.
"She has done a lot for New Asgard, especially with finding substitutes and compromises with our culture…"
"Good. I knew you'd see sense eventually." Thor smiled. "And you can tell her the good news yourself this evening." This stopped Loki in his tracks, for he had not known that Freya had been released from the Healer's Quarters. He was also unsure if it would be wise for their first meeting since that night to be so public considering…
"What?"
"She's attending the feast." Thor pointed out, and Loki silently cursed. Though he wanted to talk to her, he still had no idea how Freya would react when she saw him, and he had no wish to make matters worse.
"Are you certain that this is a wise idea?" He asked, while Thor looked at him curiously. "I mean, we have not spoken since the night of the attack, and that did not exactly go well. Are you sure that it is wise for our first reunion to be so public?"
"I am sure it will be fine." Thor assured him, somewhat surprised at Loki's reaction. This was of little comfort to the Trickster though, and he spent the rest of the short journey to the hall calculating his best course of action. However, they reached the doors before he could finalise a plan, and Loki was very much aware of a pair of eyes looking his way. He did his best to avoid her gaze, though curiosity soon got the better of him. He risked a glance in her direction, and he allowed himself a slight smile as he realised just how remarkably well she looked. There was colour in her pale skin, and the flowers in her hair were from one of the bouquets he had left in her room. In truth, one would hardly know that she had been in the healer's quarters just this morning, and he resolved to talk with her when the opportunity presented itself. For the time being, he would just have to focus on his duties as the Prince of Asgard, and resist the urge to pull her aside before the first round of food appeared.
That opportunity came just after the tables were cleared. Loki had intended on finding her the moment the dancing began, for he had no doubt that Hilda would drag Freya into the fray for at least one round, and it would give him the natural opportunity to face her. However, as he stood on the dais, he could see no sign of the Midgardian. Loki instantly wondered if she had left without anyone noticing, but then he spotted both Ragnar and Hilda, and he knew then where the consultant would be. Draining his goblet, he headed towards the balcony door, determined to speak with her.
"Go gentle with her brother." Thor told him as he walked past, but Loki did not respond. He knew he owed Freya an apology for the last few weeks, but he was also angry with her for using the sceptre. It was a very strange mix of emotions, and he braced himself, for he knew that this was not going to be easy. Adapting his most charming smile, he opened the door and stepped onto the balcony, an apology already on his lips.
However, he had barely taken two steps before he heard the sobs of a broken woman, and he was instantly filled with concern. The urge to comfort her was overwhelming, and he faltered for a moment, for he had no doubt that his attempts at doing so would fail. Freya had not yet noticed him, and he half considered escaping to the relative safety of the hall, but his conscience would not let him leave her here. After all, he was partly to blame for her sorrow, and he did want to make amends. He had missed her terribly, and he had no wish for her to leave New Asgard.
She truly did look broken though, for she was sat hunched against the bannisters as she sobbed into her knees, and Loki realised just how much Freya had gone through that year. Though she had always had a smile whenever in company, it seemed that she had faced her own struggles in private. After all, these past six months had seen her witness her family turn to dust and then the aftermath, face interrogation from those she deemed heroes, and then she had sacrificed everything she knew to help them, only to nearly lose her life in return. Was it truly of any surprise that this would break her? Loki sighed as he noticed that she was shivering, and he could not tell if it was from the sobs or the cold breeze. Either way, he knew he could not just stand by and do nothing. He slipped off his cloak and wrapped it around her, before kneeling in front of her. Freya did not respond, and he hesitated, for he was not sure what to do. Though he had no wish to make things worse between them, he could not let her suffer alone.
"Leave me." Freya commanded, although it was scarcely more than a whisper.
"I mean you no harm Freya. I just want to make sure you are alright." He told her as she dried her eyes. It was only now that he noticed the dark rings around them, and he wondered when she had last slept properly. She just glared at him.
"Leave me." She repeated, this time with barely contained anger.
"I will not." He stated, and Freya's eyes narrowed. Truly he had hurt her, and not for the first time did he regret his actions from two months ago. Had he just followed her then perhaps…
"If you are here to talk, then it is too late. You made yourself quite clear the last time we were on this balcony." She hissed, and Loki was surprised at the venom in her tone. He had never seen her like this before, nor had he believed her to be capable of such hatred. He knew that the woman in front of him was much changed from the one who had been his friend, and he sighed, for this was his doing. Freya was usually so kind and forgiving, but right now… Well, he could understand why she had been named for the Goddess of Love and War.
"I truly regret my words from that night." He stated, while she tilted her head curiously. "To know that they may have been the last we spoke… It has bothered me ever since. They were harsh, and not truly meant."
"I will not fall for your lies again sire." She told him, and he did his best not to wince at the form of address. "You have caused me no end of pain and sorrow, and I am done being your plaything!"
"Freya…" He said softly, hoping to calm her down so they could talk properly, but she would have none of it.
"No! I am done listening to your lies and false promises! There is nothing you can say or do that will make me forgive you." She had raised her voice now, and he knew that he should have expected such a reaction.
"I…" He tried to object, but she would not be silenced.
"I knew better than to trust you, but I thought I would give you a chance. I believed you when you said you would not use me for your own ends. I thought that you would keep your promises, but I see now that I was a fool. You truly are nothing more than a trickster and a liesmith." Loki would not stand for this, and he knew he should leave before this got nasty. He got to his feet and took a few steps, before he heard her. "Oh go on. Leave then. It is clear that you want nothing to do with me!"
"You really want to do this? Here and now?" He snapped, for he was sick of having people yell at him. He had constantly been moaned at or ignored or glared at all because he happened to do something, and he was sick of it. He had tried to do something good for once, and yet he was suffering as a result. And if Freya truly saw him as the villain, then what was even the point of trying to do the right thing? "I do not know where this hatred has come from Freya, especially since you only live because of me, but I know I do not deserve it!"
"You abandoned me!" She told him as she struggled to her feet. "You promised you would not use me for your own ends, and yet that is exactly what you have done!"
"I saved your life!" He told her, but she refused to back down.
"Only because it was my will." She pointed out as she discarded his cloak.
"You should not have used that sceptre…" He stated, and she looked a little ashamed.
"That is true." She agreed, softening ever so slightly.
"You made me risk everything and everyone here, and for the life of a mortal girl no less! Do you not see what you have done?"
"I was trying to protect you! All of you!" She told him, as fresh tears filled her eyes. Loki knew that it was only a matter of time before her anger turned to sadness, and as much as he felt the urge to let her go, he needed her to understand the pain she had caused him.
"I don't need protecting, and certainly not by a thing like you…" He told her as all of the hurt and anger spilled to the surface. Freya's resolve was weakening, but she still glared at him.
"A thing?" She repeated incredulously. "I am Freya Wilkes! I am no mere thing!"
"But that is exactly what you are Freya. You are nothing." He told her, and he could see just how much those words hurt her. "Certainly nothing worth risking New Asgard for."
"You do not mean that." She whispered as she shook her head. "You can't mean that. Why else would you visit me? Why would you…"
"You have no idea of what I mean Freya." He warned.
"That much is clear." She agreed as her anger returned. "Fine then. It is clear that we will never resolve this, and I am done wasting my time on you." She turned to leave, but Loki was not done with her yet.
"Are you really telling me that I risk everything for you, and this is the thanks I get?" Freya did not respond. "Then I really should have left you to die in the gravel like the worthless being you are…" He said cruelly.
"No…" Freya whispered as she took in his words. "No, you cannot mean that…" She shook her head, and then looked at him with such sad eyes. She looked truly hurt, and as fresh sobs escaped her lips, she fled from the balcony. Loki instantly knew that he had gone too far, but then that was what he was good at, wasn't it? For was he not the God of Lies?
