The weekend soon flew by, with Freya spending much of her time catching up on the numerous emails she had received since the day of the attack. Thankfully the majority of them did not need any action on her part, although she was more than a little curious as to who had been doing her role while she was absent. Though she knew that Hilda had stepped up and done her best to help with Midgardian alternatives, Freya was unsure as to who had been writing the weekly reports that had to be submitted to SHIELD, or what had happened to some of the projects she had been working on before she was wounded. Still, she had no doubt that she would soon find out when she returned to work. She was grateful that she did not appear to have missed very much during her absence, and though she was looking forward to getting back to work, a small part of her still questioned if she was doing the right thing. After all, part of her role involved working with Loki, and she had not heard anything of him since the Samhain feast. She knew that she deserved his anger for what she had done, but then his actions still confused her for they told a different story. Upon reflection, it had become evident that he had been trying to make amends that night, and yet she had lashed out at him. Was it really that surprising that he had snapped? After all, from what Thor had mentioned, Loki had suffered no end since he had saved her life. Yet she still had no idea if the Trickster really wanted her gone. Though he had told her to leave twice now, he had done all he could to make sure she stayed. After all, if he had really wanted her gone, he would have found some way of making sure she never returned by now, and yet this was not the case.
All she knew was that she needed to talk with him, for though she had no doubt that he would never forgive her, it was unlikely that she would be able to stay without clearing the air. And if he decided to ignore her, then she would just have to find a way to live with that.
Freya had no idea what to expect on Monday morning. Though she knew that the day would start with a full council meeting, she was unsure if everyone present would be happy to see her. After all, it was her fault that New Asgard's treaty had been compromised, and she had not really spoken to any of them recently. Even Ragnar had kept his distance since Samhain, and Freya was not entirely sure how she was going to rectify any of this. Hilda and Thor had been the only people she had seen in the last few days, but even now she was unsure if she was doing the right thing. After all, her actions had nearly cost them their new home, and she had no idea how she was going to make things right. It also did not help that today would be the first day she would see Loki since the feast, and she would be stuck in a room with him for at least an hour without being able to talk to him properly.
It was with a heavy sigh that she entered the empty conference room, and she quickly settled in to her usual seat. Thankfully nothing had changed in here, and this helped to soothe her a little, for she was feeling very nervous today. The lack of sleep was not helping her in this regard, and she took a sip of her tea before switching her laptop on. All she could really do was hope that today would go well, for she had much to catch up on and she was determined to get back into the swing of things. After all, she had agreed to organise the Yule festivities, and she was very much aware that she needed to ensure that all went smoothly. She did owe a lot to the Asgardians, and this was the perfect opportunity to repay them for their kindness.
"Good morning Freya." Ragnar greeted as he came in. "Can I sit here?" He asked, gesturing to the seat next to her, and Freya sighed.
"Hello Ragnar." Though she was annoyed with him for what had happened the other night, she could not be angry with him.
"I owe you an apology." He said when he realised she had not answered his question. "I did not mean to let you down the other night like I did."
"I know. You are usually very good at keeping your word." She replied as she pulled up the agenda on her laptop.
"I have let you down twice now. It will not happen again." He promised, and Freya realised he looked truly upset.
"I won't say it's okay, but I do accept your apology." She told him, feeling a little relieved as he perked up at this. "I mean, it's not as if you did it on purpose."
"I honestly didn't…" He sighed as he sat down. "What's this I hear about you organising the Yuletide celebrations?" He asked, and Freya was somewhat relieved for the change of topic.
"No one else wanted the hassle, so I volunteered. It's the least I can do after all the trouble I've caused." She explained. "The only problem is that I am not entirely sure where to start, nor if I can do it alone."
"We'll help you." Hilda volunteered as she joined them, and Freya could not help but smile at her friend's enthusiasm.
"We will?" Ragnar queried.
"Of course we will! There's an awful lot to be done and not much time to do it in, so you'll be needing all the help you can get." Hilda pointed out, before turning to Ragnar. "Besides, it is your favourite time of year, is it not?" Ragnar said nothing.
"Then shall we meet up this evening to get the ball rolling?" Freya asked just before the rest of the council came in.
"It's a date." Hilda agreed, and Freya was somewhat relieved that Loki had not yet made an appearance, for she had no idea how she was going to react, nor how he would take the news that she was staying in New Asgard for the time being.
Of course, he did eventually appear with his brother, and Freya did her best to ignore him, though she had not been able to resist a few glances in his direction. She knew she should hate him for what he had done and all the suffering he had caused her recently, and yet… Yet she knew that she would always forgive him. That was why his words had stung so much, and yet his actions had given her hope. She really did miss his friendship, and though she knew it was unlikely that they would ever be so close again, she would settle to just be acknowledged. Instead he ignored her, and she knew that she needed to talk with him today. Ideally it would be once this meeting was over, but it seemed that the Trickster knew exactly her intentions, for the moment they were dismissed, the Prince was gone.
Freya knew that she had to track him down and talk with him today though, for it would only become more difficult the longer she left it. She had left things too long before, and she had only suffered for it. In truth she knew that she should have found him the day after the feast to talk, but she had not been able to face it. Still, it was better today than never, and she hoped to find an opportunity soon. After all, though there was much that she wanted to ask, the most important thing she needed to do was to apologise. She had no doubt that he would not forgive her, nor would she blame him for that. After all, her actions had caused him no end of trouble, and she had decided to stay in New Asgard against his wishes. Freya was also wary of the fact that she had no idea how he would react or what she was going to say to him, but she at least needed to try and clear the air, otherwise work would be unbearable. At the very least she needed to thank him for what he had done, and though there was much that she wanted to ask, she knew she would not get the answers she craved. His actions bothered her, for he had broken the treaty for her sake, and yet he had completely ignored her since, except for the other night when he had snapped. Still, Freya knew that even if he just acknowledged her mere existence then at least it was a step in the right direction.
The opportunity presented itself just after 11 o'clock, for she had gone to the nearby kitchen to get a cup of tea and found the Prince sat alone in his office. She quickly checked his diary on her phone and smiled when she saw that he was free from any meetings or duties, and so she made her decision. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, she went over her apology and then stood by the door, just out of sight of the Prince. She had no doubt that this next bit was not going to be easy, especially considering the last two times they had spoken it had ended in an argument, and the fact that she had ignored his order to leave, but she at least had to try. The worst outcome of this was that he continued to ignore her, and she was already used to that. However, she hesitated by the door, for she was unsure that she was in the mood for another argument, and she briefly considered giving up on the idea entirely.
No. She was Freya Wilkes, the woman who had summoned a god. She had survived so much, and she refused to be defeated so easily. She would never forgive herself if she did not do this. She had every right to be here, and there was nothing he could say that would change her mind.
So just why was she so scared of doing something so simple as knocking on a door?
The God of Mischief gave an exasperated sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. His to do list was never ending, and he was somewhat frustrated by his computer which had just decided to update itself without warning, meaning he had lost thirty minutes of work. Midgardian technology was truly primitive and this was the last thing he needed today. He had already had a rough morning, and he had not expected Freya to resume her role so soon after their latest altercation. Though Thor had mentioned that the woman was staying to help with the Yule celebrations, Loki had believed that she would be doing so from afar. He had intended to speak with her before she resumed her role, especially as he was aware of just how harsh his words had been, and yet it was too late.
The God of Mischief had tried to ignore the Midgardian's presence at the meeting, but no matter how hard he tried, he constantly found his gaze drawn to her. She truly looked better, for there was colour in her cheeks and a smile on her face as she had listened to everyone speak. However, Loki knew that Freya was not quite herself either, for she wore plain fabrics instead of her usual florals, and she was definitely guarded, even when with her friends. She had barely spoken in the meeting, and the Trickster could not help but wonder just how much she had changed since the attack. After all, he had only caught a glimpse of how she was feeling at the Samhain feast, and he regretted lashing out so cruelly at her. He just hoped that she could forgive him for such harsh words when they were not meant.
Loki had missed her dearly recently, and that was of no surprise to him, for Freya had been one of his closest friends here in New Asgard. She had always soothed his troubles and provided a listening ear. She had given up her time to keep him company, and nothing had ever been too much trouble. Never had he had a friend to himself like that, and she had always been happy to see him. She had trusted him, and he had done all he could to ensure that she was happy here. Until that day of the beach trip, he had believed that their friendship could possibly become something more, but then she had left him. He regretted not going after her that evening, and he truly despised himself for his treatment of her ever since. He had only ever wanted her to be okay, and despite everything that had happened between them, he bore her no ill will, and he did want to make amends, even if they could never go back to the way they were before.
As his laptop flashed up with the buffering sign, Loki glanced at the wall which separated his and the Midgardian's offices. It was somewhat comforting to know that she was back at work, for he had not enjoyed the silence of the past few weeks. He had been rather used to working to the sound of Freya's music softly playing, and her office had been empty for the last few weeks. He knew he should probably seek her out and apologise for his harsh words at the feast, and yet he was unsure if she would want to see him. After all, their past few encounters had hardly gone well. As he saw how slowly his laptop was updating, he wondered if now would be the best time, and then he caught a glimpse of movement at his door. He could not help but allow himself a slight smile, for it seemed that his visitor was also of the same opinion, and he knew exactly what they wanted to do. He had no wish for another argument, nor did he want to lash out at her again, but he had known that she would track him down at some point today. However, the knock never came, and Loki could only watch curiously as Freya paced back and forth. Her inner turmoil was evident, and he could not help but smile at this, for he knew just how much Freya despised confrontations. Loki also knew just how stubborn she could be, and he allowed himself a small smile when she finally knocked on the door a few moments later.
"Enter!" He called as he busied himself with tidying some of the papers on his desk. The door opened, but Freya stayed near to it, and he knew she was bracing herself for what was about to happen. Meanwhile he focused on his desk, rather than look at her, for he knew he would only forgive her the moment their eyes met.
"Sire." She greeted softly, and Loki did his best not to wince for he was not used to hearing her address him that way. "I am sorry to disturb you, but I wondered if you could spare a few moments to talk?" She truly sounded very uncertain, and he knew just what he should say, even if it pained him to push her away.
"What is there left to discuss?" He asked. "It is pretty clear that you will not believe a word I say." He pointed out, while Freya had the decency to look ashamed.
"It is true that I no longer trust you like I once did, but I do regret my words and my actions. I realised too late my mistake in attending the Samhain feast so soon after I was discharged from Eir's care, and I lashed out at you. I am truly sorry for any hurt or offence that I have caused." Loki was a little surprised to find that she was being sincere. "I must also apologise for my actions on the night of the attack. I never intended to threaten you, or to cause any pain or suffering, though I know that what I did was unforgiveable." He was silent for a moment as he let her words sink in.
"What is this Freya? What do you wish to gain from this?" He asked, knowing that he at least had to keep up some pretence of hatred, even though it pained him to do so. He never could let anyone get too close to him, for they always got hurt, and Freya was just the most recent proof of that.
"I am merely trying to apologise and express my gratitude for what you have done, though I realise that I am not doing a very good job at it." She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. "I also wanted to thank you personally."
"For what? Acting on your will? If that is the case then there is nothing to be sai…" He trailed off as he saw the sad expression in her eyes. Truly he wanted to forgive her for what she had done, but he was not quite there yet.
"I know what you have done, and I know that you have also paid a heavy price for it." Freya told him. "I would not be here if it were not for you, and I am tremendously grateful for all you have done for me."
"We can never be like we once were." He warned, for he recognised what she was trying to do.
"I know, and I have accepted that, but if we are to work together again then I thought it best that I apologise." She paused. "I mean, I would have apologised anyway, regardless if I was staying or not. I know that there is nothing I can do to change what happened, though I do have regrets…." She sighed, then shook her head. "I have taken up enough of your time." She turned to leave, while Loki contemplated his next words very carefully. Though it was true that Freya had been the source of much pain and frustration in recent weeks, he had no wish to lose her entirely.
"We both have regrets." He stated, causing her to stop in her tracks. "My words were harsh Freya, and not truly meant. The one thing I regret the most is that I did not respond in time to stop you from being mortally wounded when you used the sceptre."
"I truly did not want to use it, but at the time there was no other option." She explained, and he knew she was being honest.
"I know." Loki paused. "We have been through to much together to simply be strangers."
"I am not asking to resume our friendship, or to pick up where we left off. I only ask that we can work together."
"I think we can manage that." Loki told her with a smile, and she briefly returned it.
"Thank you sire." Freya bowed her head and took another step towards the door.
"And Freya?"
"Yes?" She asked, hope evident in her eyes.
"I am glad you ignored me. New Asgard needs its Midgardian consultant." With that, she left, while Loki wondered if he would ever be able to tell her the truth.
