"What is going on?" Abuela walked in, sounding angry. I winced, hearing it. The three us sat up.
Isabela, she just looks upset that the time with us has ended and is upset and concerned because she probably know what's about to go down. Isabela looks terrified. She flinched when she heard Alma. She looked down at her clothes. They're messy, colorful, not perfect. This poor girl is terrified.
"Abuela? It's okay! Everything's... We're gonna save the miracle. The magic..." Mirabel tried to reason, excited. I tried to act excited, but I really wasn't. "What are you talking about? Look at our home! Look at your sister!"
"Please just... Isabela wasn't happy and she didn't—"
"Of course she isn't happy. You two ruined her proposal."
Then I saw the flowers dying. Isabela got rid of them. She's ashamed. She tries to clean herself up. She's glancing nervously between Mirabel and Abuela and making sure that what they just did isn't able to be seen around the house.
"No, no, no. She needed us to ruin her proposal. And then we did all of this! And the candle burned brighter and the cracks-"
"Mirabel."
"Let her finish, please." I gently spat, allowing Mirabel to continue. "That's why Oscar and I were in the vision! We're saving the miracle!"
Isabela moved to Abuela's side. After Mirabel says "she needed us to ruin her proposal," she glances nervously over at her like she doesn't want Abuela to know that she does not want to marry Mariano. She doesn't want her "perfect" image that her Abuela has of her to go away. As she walks towards Abuela, she also tries to wipe her face. Mirabel is trying her hardest to explain what's going on, but she just isn't listening... As always.
But then...
"You two have to STOP!" Abuela yelled. Very much like Luisa, Abuela has seldom yelled at me. The only other time I remember her yelling at me was this morning during breakfast.
Stop what? Influencing her siblings? My cousins? Standing up to Abuela? Trying to change things and make them better? Trying to figure out how to help the family? She's just telling us to stop trying to help the family because we're doing nothing but being in the way.
And we're not trying to be in the way! You fellows out there at home know that! We are trying to help this family! We have been saying this through the whole picture! WHY CAN'T ABUELA SEE THAT?!
"The cracks started with you two. Bruno left because of you two."
Although she's technically right that Bruno left because of us, it wasn't because of us. It was for us. He knew that if Alma saw the vision of the house breaking behind Mirabel and me, because Bruno often saw the future and it had bad outcomes, he broke the vision and left to protect Mirabel and I.
Mirabel continued to shrink and move backwards. As she moves backwards, so does all of the progress she's made to help the cracks and the miracle. And on top of that, my sense of self worth is shattering.
The cracks started again. We're scared. Upset. Abuela is yelling at us. I'll remind you that Mirabel is only 15 and Abuela is ranting about how everything bad that has happened in the last 10 years is because of her. And for the past year, because of me also.
Because in this godforsaken world, blaming every bad thing that happens on other people is fair.
"Luisa's losing her powers. Isabela's out of control. Because of the two of you! I don't know why you weren't given a Gift, Mirabel, but is is not an excuse for you and Oscar to hurt this family!"
Isabela and Luisa look ashamed. Because of Alma yelling about their issues (powers and un-perfectness/no obedience) or because their younger sister is standing up to Alma. The two are powerless (and unbeknownst to us, are literally about to be).
But... Hurting this family? Haven't we been trying to help it? Isn't that what I JUST said less than three minutes ago? Okay, you know what? I've had it!
I. Have. HAD IT!
For the past ten years, Mirabel has been shunned by Abuela because she didn't get a gift like everyone else did! I mean— Yesterday, Abuela basically told her "Because you don't have a Gift, you can't help anyone, so step aside." And I've grown up feeling that way my whole life!
I have always felt as though because I'm scared of every little freaking thing, I couldn't uphold my species' honor! That I couldn't, in any given way, shape, or form, prevent the eventual inevitable extinction of my ancestors, the ocelot! That's why I set off to find a human civilization, so I could finally feel like I have a place where I ACTUALLY BELONG.
But Abuela only made that terrible feeling worse. I understand that she's gone through her fair share of hardships and generational trauma, as have I, but is that really an excuse to disown her GRANDDAUGHTER? Should I sprint up and blow that stupid candle out while I still can?
"And Oscar..." Abuela pointed a finger at me. Rage was boiling my skin third-degree, so I refused to subject to whatever she had to say. I may be a coward, but so help me Lord, I am not a quitter! I won't let my cousin's problems go ignored any longer! "After everything that this family has done for you... This is how you repay us. I am so... So disappointed in you—"
I growled. Loud enough for the entire house to hear. And it wasn't a friendly growl. At all.
"Don't you growl at me, Oscar!" Abuela snapped. "I will! I can growl at you, and I will! You see Mirabel as a nuisance to this family?! Who helped Antonio get his gift last night? Who figured out how to stop the cracks? And, mind you, who was the only one, besides me, who tried to seek answers on how to help Casita?"
I paused to take a few deep breaths. Everyone was watching now. Mirabel looked... Beyond shocked that I was standing up for her, even though I am well aware that she can do it herself. Sometimes one needs their furry friends in hardships such as these.
"But you are so set on keeping things the way they are, not changing them, that you'd rather pin ALL OF THE BLAME on Mirabel and I, than to try and step away and listen to someone else! Well, I'm getting sick and tired of this! It ends today!"
"Oscar Silvio Madrigal, watch your tone!"
"No, Oscar's right." Mirabel said. I stood firm and defiant on her shoulder. "No matter how hard any of us tries... Luisa won't be strong enough. Isabela won't be perfect enough. Oscar won't be fast enough, or brave enough. Bruno only left our family because you only saw the worst in him!"
"Bruno didn't care about this family!"
"Hogwash, he didn't!" I hissed, like hogwash was a curse word. "He LOVES this family! I love this family! Oscar loves this family! We all love this family! You're the one that doesn't care! You're the one breaking our home!" Mirabel stated defiantly. It's true! I love this family! More than anything!
"Don't you ever—!"
My anger reached its breaking point. The fur on my tail was puffed up completely. My lips drawn back in a snarl. She has interrupted us for the last time!
"¡CÁLLATE (Shut up/Silence)! ALMA, AND LET HER FINISH!" I screamed at the very top of my lungs, no longer caring if the entire Encanto could hear me. The whole family just heard me give off the rant of the twentieth century.
"Our miracle is dying, because of you!"
Aaand Mirabel FINALLY said it. Abuela is the one breaking the family apart. Because she wanted the family to be perfect, strong, etc. so badly, she doesn't know the stress she's putting on them. She believed the miracle/perfection is more important than family because it gave them protection.
Abuela either realizes this or can't believe that Mirabel has just said that to her. Hopefully the latter. Mirabel recoiled a little bit because she's also shocked by what she just said.
And in that very moment, the biggest crack I have yet to have seen forms on the floor, startling me. The cracks snaked to the candle, which was looking like it was about to go out! I put a brave face on and, alongside Mirabel, rushed to save the candle. "Casita, get us up there!" Mirabel shouted. It held down one of its railings as a makeshift ladder.
Isabela was coming our way, swinging on vines, but they disappeared. She landed safely with Casita's help. Same goes for my ruana bro, Camilo. He lost his power right at the last second and ended up like Isabela; powerless. I cared not for my gift dissipating.
I cared not for everyone calling our names to leave the candle and escape the house while we still could.
With my help, Mirabel grabbed the candle. But then Bruno's tower came crashing down... Down... The only direction we could go from here.
We landed on the floor as tons of debris was about to fall on top of us. Right before it did, the Casita used it's last remaining parts to shield us. It... Saved our lives.
Clouds of dust filled my vision, and my nose. In my paws was the candle... Going out. "No..." Mirabel and I whispered. The Casita's shutters waved an injured goodbye. And we watched as the house... Died. I can't believe it. We... we failed to save the family miracle.
We both took looks around the premises. We saw Dolores helping a despondent Abuela. How lost and broken she looked...
Wait just a cotton-picking minute...
I HAD THIS EXACT SAME NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT!
I PULLED A BRUNO!
I PREDICTED THE FUTURE!
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, ONE OF MY PARANOIAS CAME TRUE! MY NIGHTMARE CAME TRUE!
And at such a bad time!
"My powers... They're gone! I don't—what about Antonio? What's he gonna do?" I overheard Camilo tell his mother. He is such an awesome big brother, guys... "And Oscar... The poor guy, he's probably scared to death." He... Still cares about me? After everything I did?
I saw Mirabel rise to her feet. "Mirabel?" I whispered. "Where are you going?" She didn't answer. Except for "This is all my fault... I never should've tried to be something I'm not..."
"Mira, it's not entirely your fault. I also played a major role in this. I, the family pet, who thought he could change things round here... Couldn't. I also tried to save this miracle... But couldn't. All because I'm too much of a wuss to try new things."
I half-expected Mirabel to give me at least one sentence of consolation (even though I don't really deserve it)... But she just patted my head and said "Stay with them. Please. They need you..." She paused, sounding like she was about to burst into tears. "At least you did something right."
"And what was that?"
"Love and support me unconditionally. Thank you for your help. I never would've even made it this far without you."
And without another word... She left, heading for the mountain that was split in half. Just like my heart... She was right, though. I had to go through a lifetime worth of disowning, shunning, and rejection despite all of the unconditional love the family has given to me. Especially Mirabel.
Like Camilo, she has done so much for me. She made me this collar so I could stay in this Encanto. She made me this ruana so I'd stop trying to wear Camilo's. She helped me get over my fears throughout this whole excursion. And yet Abuela just yelled at us for trying to help.
No... I know what the problem is.
This... This damn candle... Didn't give my best friend a gift. It started ALL OF THIS. And I hate this stupid miracle for it. All these years, I was jealous of myself that I got a gift and my prima didn't. At least that jealous feeling's over now. Even if we're technically homeless.
"Everybody calm down, we all need to calm down." their Abuela finally spoke after her silence. "Our home, has fallen and we have now lost the miracle. But we must stay strong for the Encanto."
Is... Is she SERIOUS? After everything Mirabel and I just told her?! She's still ignoring Mirabel?!
I looked around and saw the exact same horrified expressions on my cousin's faces. We lost our home, and Mirabel's gone missing; everyone is at the end of their wits and are already anxious enough about what will happen now, what Mirabel would do outside our sights after everything that went down.
Regardless, Abuela still only cares about the Encanto, not even an ounce of worry about the missing girl. The only feeling I had inside of me right now... Was rage. Pure and utter rage. The moment Abuela called my name to get me to do something, I threw the remaining part of the candle on the ground. Hard. With a yell loud enough for everyone to hear. The candle, upon the immense contact it made with the ground, smashed into smaller pieces. Almost like glass.
"Oscar! Calm down!"
"I love this family." I said, panting for breath. "I love the Encanto, I love this place and everyone in it."
"Oscar?" Pepa muttered.
"But I've had enough of all this responsibility." I said, frowning at Abuela's surprised expression. "I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I am sick and tired of doing everything for the Encanto this, for the miracle that!"
"Oscar...!" Camilo's voice cracked as he uttered my name out.
"We just lost our home and all you can think about is staying strong for the Encanto?! What about our family, Abuela? Mirabel is nowhere to be seen, probably loathing and blaming herself about what happened. And you tell us to calm down not for our own family's sake... but for the sake of others?"
Some of the residents of the Encanto were watching me. I didn't care.
"Mirabel and I have done nothing other than try to help this family! I'm shocked that the only person who couldn't see that was you!" I hissed. "I feel like basura (garbage)!"
"Enough of this back-talking, Oscar!" Abuela hollered.
"I should've known you would treat me like how you treat Mirabel if I tried and stay close to her! I should've known that from day one!"
The ENTIRE FAMILY gasped. Audibly. Abuela's shocked gasp was the loudest. I spent the next few minutes catching my breath. Then I spoke again. "I didn't have to stay by her side. I didn't have to help her. If I looked out only for the Encanto and myself, I would've left her here to die."
Please... Don't try to cut me off again...
"... I stood by her because I wanted her to feel loved. I wanted her to succeed... Is Mirabel not worthy of your love because she doesn't have a gift?"
"Oscar—"
"Let him finish, mamá." Julieta told her. I silently thanked her. "Am I not worthy of your love because I'm a coward?"
"Of course not, Oscar." Abuela answered, extending a hand out to stroke my ears. "Why would you ask such a thing?"
My anger spiraling again, I swatted her hand away. "Because that's how I've felt my entire life! My parents raised me into thinking that all cats had to be wild. And when I cowardly refused to do that, they either ostracized or straight up neglected me! Not even my own father wanted me around!"
"Really?" Dolores whispered, utterly in shock. I nodded.
"That's terrible..." Antonio also whispered.
"Yes. But you know what else was terrible? Excluding Bruno out of this family." I'll be damned if I leave anybody out. "Bruno was given the gift of precognition. He can tell the future. He doesn't influence it. Whether it be intentional or not, you seeing the worst in him made him feel unloved. That's another reason why he retreated into the walls of Casita."
It was almost as if Abuela was selectively listening to me when Mirabel and I told her that. But, of course she wouldn't listen to me. I just knew she wasn't gonna listen. "Forget it. You-you wouldn't listen to me, anyway. I'm just the pet. The nuisance." I said, my voice filled with hurt. I made sure Abuela heard that last part. "I've never felt so much like Mirabel and Bruno than I do right now. But it's alright. I know my place now... But it's not here."
"What are you saying?" Isabela asked me. I sighed, "Guys... listen..."
Gotta Go My Own Way *sung by Oscar and the Madrigal grandchildren*
I gotta say what's on my mind
Something about us doesn't seem right these days
Life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged
It's so hard to say
But I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be okay...
I unbuttoned the red collar around my neck and handed it to Abuela. I could've sworn I saw tears well up in her eyes as I sang.
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here, I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way
Don't wanna leave it all behind
But we get our hopes up, and we watch them fall every time
Another color turns to grey
And it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away
I'm leaving today, cause I gotta do what's best for me
You'll all be okay...
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here, I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way
Camilo: What about us? What about everything we've been through?
Oscar: What about trust?
Camilo: You know we never wanted to hurt you
Oscar: And what about you?
Camilo: What do you want us to do?
Oscar: I gotta leave but
Both: I'll miss you
Oscar: So, I've got to move on and be who I am (Camilo: Why do you have to go?)
I just don't belong here, I hope you understand (Luisa: We're trying to understand)
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now
Isabela desperately grabbed my tail. Tears were in her eyes—no, they were FALLING from her eyes. She was crying.
(Isabela: We want you to stay!)
I gotta go my own way!
In a fit of tears of my own, I tugged her hold off and ran as fast as my legs could take me.
I've got to move on and be who I am (Antonio: What about us?)
I just don't belong here, I hope you understand (Dolores: We're trying to understand)
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way
I have to leave... I need to know once and for all... Who am I? Where do I belong? Why do I have to be like this? What's my plan? Am I ever coming back? I just don't know... But I can't stay in the Encanto knowing that all I do is cause inconveniences. I suppose the least I can do... Is try to find my cousin.
That is... If she's anywhere to be found.
But I have to find her. She'd do the same for me.
