A/N I must say, I surprised myself with this chapter. It is pure comic genius. A bit short, but funny none the less. Ah, thanks for all the reviews, I love you! Right now I am eating cookie dough, it is delicious. Quite, quite delicious. Also, lots of you are saying you love my writing style, which both pleases and confuses me. Anyhow, on with this wonderful, hilarious chapter, enjoy! 'The Secret Life of Waiters,' I'd buy that book...

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA

"Oh Roy, I don't know how to tell you this… well, no," Riza replied, looking rather sad. "I'm tired of the lies, Roy, I can't be with you any longer."

"What? But Riza, why not, I swear I'd never cheat on you or lie or anything!"

"No Roy, it's not you, it's just that… I'm in love with Ed!" Riza replied. Roy was quite literally dumbstruck. "But, but…"

"He and I were going out in secret before I started going out with you, and I never really got over him. I just love how short he is, it's so sexy…" Riza said, as Ed walked up.

"Hah! Now I can make fun of you for being too tall you stupid bastard colonel!" Ed smirked, frenching Riza. They started making out and taking off their clothes right on the bench.

"NOOOOOOO!" Roy yelled, sitting strait up in bed, covered head to toe in sweat. Riza walked out of the bathroom in her lingerie, taking the toothbrush out of her mouth.

"Awake at last are we? Do you know how much trouble you caused me?" She said in an annoyed voice.

"What does Ed have that I don't Riza, tell me!" he yelled in a panic.

"What the heck are you going on about?" Riza replied, "Do you even remember what happened last night?"

"Yes, you and, Ed, oh god."

"Wrong. Ed wasn't even there, what're you thinking? We were eating dinner and you said you had something really important to tell me, but then you got really nervous and started drinking all of the Champaign. Then you passed out, and I had to drive back, nearly got in an accident not being able to use my left arm and all."

"That explains the immeasurable pain I have in my forehead," Roy said, getting up slowly and stumbling into the bathroom past Riza, "I think I'm going to puke."

"I'll be right back," Riza sighed, going down into the kitchen. Roy puked into the toilet, he felt horrid, but also wonderful. Riza didn't love Edward, she loved him!

"Here, once you're done being sick, drink this," Riza said, handing Roy a glass of light pink liquid, "It's medicine for hangovers, I'd figured I had better get some a while ago when I saw the inside of your refrigerator."

Roy gulped down the drink. "Hmm, tastes like cherry."

"Don't worry, I figure that hangover is enough punishment for you," Riza said, "I have a surprise for you."

"Really? What is it?" Roy asked. Wow, maybe she really wasn't mad at him.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Come on Roy, you've got to hold still," Riza yelled, firing her gun once more. "Puke here and I really will kill you."

Roy's head pounded, every time Riza took a shot it was like a bomb going off. Pretty sure she's mad at me, he thought, wincing as Riza fired again. This session was twice as long as usual, seeing as Riza couldn't use her left hand and so had trouble reloading.

"There, all of your debt is paid off," Riza smirked, after Roy had returned and they were finished.

"Riza, are you absolutely sure that was hangover medicine?" Roy said, feeling sick all over.

"Let's see, I think so," she replied, "wait, I put that right next to Hayate's ear drops… What color was the stuff you drank, dark or light pink?"

"Light…" Roy said fearfully.

"Oh my," Riza replied in mock concern, "Oh well, it's only toxic in large amounts, we can chance it."

"You really don't forgive easy do you?" Roy replied, feeling like he was about to puke.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Feeling better?" Riza asked later as she slurped some chow mien. They had ordered out Chinese for dinner.

"Yeah, after I puked for about an hour," he sighed, "do you forgive me now?"

"Yeah, I guess so," she laughed, "you should have seen yourself out on the firing range today, it looked like you were dieing."

"…That's not funny."

"Maybe not to you." Roy sighed. But he was feeling better; they had eventually found the hangover medicine in the end.

"Riza, I have to say something," Roy said, "before I wimp out."

"Hmm? What is it?" Riza replied, taking a sip of tea.

"Never do that again. This whole day made me wish I was dead," Roy said, now able to laugh about it with Riza. "But also, I guess I deserved it in a way. Perhaps I didn't need such a cruel, heartlessly evil punishment, but I got mine in the end," Roy said, "Riza, you're the only person below me who could cause me such pain without my anger. I love you, so much I feel like I'll burst with it. Will you marry me?"

A/N Sigh, he really proposed this time. Over take out Chinese food, hah. Bet you got all freaked out in the beginning part before you knew it was a dream, eh? Sigh, like some of you, I was feeling it was getting too predictable, and so thought up this whole plot twist. This chapter took so long because I had to retype it with this idea, but it was worth it! I laugh so hard whenever I read that beginning part now… Well, I must get to sleep, I'll update next weekend. Please review! If you do I'll love you.