Part I - The Philosopher's Stone

1991

The last three years had passed by in a blur.

Things had changed pleasantly for little Harry Potter once he started pranking his relatives in the last few years.

He thought back to his biggest prank that had changed his life at the Dursley's. It had all happened by accident.

IlIlIlIlI

1989

On New Year's Eve 1989, Aunt Marge had decided to come by for a visit. For the first time Harry had been looking forward to her visit. He had never got the chance to prank her for all the torment she had bestowed upon him.

He had forgotten one little detail though. Ripper.

She had brought the ferocious Bulldog with her. Upon sighting Harry the mutt started chasing him every time he saw him. One day, Harry was trying to sneak out to get away from Marge for the day. Unfortunately, he had stepped on Ripper's paw who immediately chased him outside and up a tree. He had remained up the tree for two hours while Ripper barked from below, the Dursley's long since gone back inside.

Harry had begun thinking of a grisly death for the dog thinking the words: 'I wish something grisly happens to Ripper.'

Harry had forgotten he had magic at the moment he thought those words. He had his eyes closed when he heard loud grunting from below.

Confused at the noise Harry had opened his eyes and looked down. His eyes nearly fell out of his sockets when he realised what he had thought.

"Oh damn," he whispered in horror.

For right below him was a massive bear who had Ripper cornered. The Bulldog was whimpering and refused to move out of fear. Harry didn't manage to close his eyes on time as the ferocious bear took Ripper in its mouth and started thrashing the animal side to side.

When Harry heard the munching he couldn't help it. He screamed and fell out of the tree. He kept his body flat on the ground so the bear wouldn't attack him.

A few minutes had passed and he heard sirens wailing in the distance as he began to feel the coldness of the air start enveloping his body.

All at once he felt the bear above him breathing heavily. Harry shook with terror thinking the bear was going to eat him. Then he heard the sound of a bell next to his ear.

Now confused, Harry opened an eye. In front of him was Ripper's collar. Slowly, Harry turned around to face the massive animal.

The bear was looking between him and the collar, as if it was a dog that brought back the tossed stick.

"You're not going to eat me, are you?" Harry had asked.

The bear started whimpering, as if devasted Harry would make such a suggestion.

Harry just sat there watching the bear until Animal Control arrived. One of the neighbours had saw the bear and had contacted them immediately.

Animal Control had come across Harry the previous year when he had inadvertently let a skunk into the Dursley house. They eyed him with interest as they talked with the Dursley's.

Aunt Marge was hysterical that the bear ate her beloved Ripper and tried to blame Harry by attacking him. Less than a few feet from Harry the bear roared at her and she fled up the tree Ripper had chased Harry up earlier.

The bear had since made its way to Harry and plopped down next to him. Animal Control were amazed with the bear, however they were unable to take him away as their van wasn't big enough.

The bear refused to leave Harry's side and tried to follow him inside when Vernon called him in. A ferocious growl directed at Vernon when the bear wasn't allowed in terrified Vernon so badly, he sent Harry to Dudley's Second Bedroom.

Two members of animal control moved in briefly to help care for the bear as they awaited the arrival of a bear trainer from America.

When the bear finally left a week later for America, terror had taken over Vernon and Petunia who both knew it was magic that had summoned the bear. They both vowed from there on out they would treat Harry civilly so he wouldn't summon a more dangerous animal into their home.

IlIlIlIlI

1991 (continued…)

Harry chuckled at the memory. He owed his life to Harry the Bear for making his existence more enjoyable. They named him Harry as he was apparently the only human he let get close to him. It had taken twenty men to take him away from Privet Drive. Harry enjoyed the bear's company, but knew the poor animal didn't belong here in Surrey.

Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia became civil towards him after that and let him have Dudley's second bedroom. They also got him second hand clothes that fit and proper glasses for him. They were trying their best to appease him due to their fear of wild animals.

Smiling but tired, Harry turned his head on the pillow and drifted off to sleep.

IlIlIlIlI

As his eyes started slowly opening, Harry let out a morning yawn. He had a very pleasant dream of riding on a motorcycle the previous night. He felt as if it was somewhat real but didn't think so.

It was Dudley's birthday today and the Dursley's had grudgingly taken him to the zoo as there was no one to babysit him.

Harry was entranced by the Zoo. He always had a deep affection for animals but only got to see dogs and cats on a regular basis. At the zoo there was a large variety of animals, but Harry especially was looking forward to the reptile house.

In the reptile house there were various turtles and lizards. Sadly, there was only one snake, the Boa constrictor.

Harry looked through the glass at the beautiful creature. "~ You're beautiful~," Harry whispered gently.

"~Why, thank you~," to Harry's shock the snake awoke from its slumber, and raised its head to look directly at him.

Harry continued to make small talk with the snake. Suddenly he was pushed away by Dudley who immediately pressed his large face up against the glass.

That's it, thought Harry furiously. He eyed the glass and willed it to disappear. Dudley started flailing in mid air as his hands were pushed up against the glass. With an almighty shove of his magic he pushed Dudley in. He heard the splash as Dudley crashed into the water within the enclosure.

The immense snake trailed out, hissed a thanks at Harry and promptly fled the zoo. No one saw the reptile ever again.

"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND WILD ANIMALS?" roared Uncle Vernon, as they made their way home an hour later.

"They like me," said Harry cheekily. "It's as simple as fractions. Can you do fractions Uncle Vernon?"

"THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT," he roared. "I KNOW HOW YOU GET THEM. HOW YOU MANAGE TO ACTUALLY SUMMON A-"

"Vernon," hissed Petunia. "Calm down or he'll know."

Vernon didn't say another word. He just continued driving home.

IlIlIlIlI

Bleary eyed, Harry woke up and went downstairs for breakfast.

"BOY," roared his Uncle from the kitchen. "While you're there you may as well grab the mail."

Harry rolled his eyes at his Uncle's laziness. Could the man ever get up from his chair for a task as simple as getting the mail?

He decided to grab the mail anyway. He picked up the bundle on the mat and his eyes widened.

There written in ink-like calligraphy was an envelope addressed to him.

Mr H Potter
The Smallest Bedroom
4 Privet Drive
Little Whinging
Surrey

There was something suspicious here. Harry had never received a letter before. Knowing Vernon would likely confiscate it he hurriedly stuffed it under the doormat and ensured it could not be seen before he took the mail in to the kitchen.

Harry ate his breakfast hurriedly, anxious to know what was in the letter that was seemingly addressed to him.

If there was one thing Harry was grateful for, Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia didn't make him do chores anymore. He pulled too many pranks doing his chores and both his Aunt and Uncle knew that was a recipe for disaster.

So once he had his breakfast he hurried back to his room, letter in hand.

After reading it more things about his unknown ability made sense.

Magic was real. And there was a school that taught it.

What does it mean, we await your owl, he wondered.

He heard a tapping at his window and saw a brown owl perched on his windowsill.

Quickly realising it was a messenger owl, he wrote a response.

Dear Deputy Headmistress McGonagall,

I would be delighted to attend Hogwarts. However, I don't know anything about this world and don't know where to do my shopping for school supplies. I would really appreciate it if someone could show me about this world I am unfamiliar with.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

He attached the notice in with the letter he received back in the original envelope, opened the window and gave it to the owl, who promptly took flight once it had the envelope in its talons.

IlIlIlIlI

Two days later there was a large booming knock at the door at breakfast.

"WHO THE RUDDY HELL KNOCKS THAT LOUD," boomed Vernon, jumping out of his seat and marching to the door.

Harry heard muffled shouting as he munched on his toast, having a good guess what and why someone was there.

Soon after Vernon was shoved into the room by a man that was larger than life.

"Move over, Dursley, you fat lump," grumbled the man. "I'm surprised you can fit through tha' door of yers."

Harry couldn't help but laugh at that, drawing a vicious look from his Uncle.

"Just imagine the size of his casket when he dies," chuckled Harry. "They'll have to take down the door just to get it in the house."

Uncle Vernon looked like he wanted to strangle him.

The large man introduced himself as Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. The man was happy to answer Harry's questions.

After the initial questions and answers, Harry had a new question.

"Er, Hagrid," said Harry. "I noticed you mentioned my parents were part of that world. Did you know them? All I know about them is that they died in a car crash."

Hagrid stared at Harry for a moment bedore shooting a venomous look towards Vernon and Petunia who were rooted to the spot and suddenly looking very scared.

After giving out to the Dursley's Hagrid told him the full story of his parents. Their names were James and Lily Potter and they died when a man named Lord Voldemort attacked them at their home. Voldemort had apparently tried to kill him but couldn't, apparently fleeing into the night according to Hagrid. Hagrid had taken him from the wreckage of his parents house on the orders of one Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts. And brought him to Privet Drive.

"You brought me here," growled Harry. "To these monsters."

Hagrid's expression dropped. "Now I wish I hadn't," he glowered, looking at the Dursley's with revulsion. "Telling you that your parents died as drunks. Why someone would say such a cruel lie is disgusting."

"This Albus Dumbledore," said Harry, repeating the name Hagrid said. "Ordered you to bring me here."

"Aye," grumbled Hagrid. "That he did."

The name of Albus Dumbledore just added itself to the number one spot on Harry's Prank List.

"Anyway," said Hagrid, more cheerily. "I'm here to escort you to London to get your school supplies. Unless you'd like to stay, that is."

IlIlIlIlI

One train trip later and Harry and Hagrid were both in London. Harry had no idea where they were going in London, but Hagrid clearly did. Harry stayed close to the man and made small talk with him, asking questions about the Wizarding World.

"This is it," said Hagrid, coming to a halt, "the Leaky Cauldron. It's a famous place."

It was a tiny, grubby-looking pub. If Hagrid hadn't pointed it out, Harry wouldn't have noticed it was there. The people hurrying by didn't glance at it. Their eyes slid from the big book shop on one side to the record shop on the other as if they couldn't see the Leaky Cauldron at all. In fact, Harry had the most peculiar feeling that only he and Hagrid could see it. Before he could mention this, Ha grid had steered him inside.

For a famous place, it was very dark and shabby. A few old women were sitting in a corner, drinking tiny glasses of sherry. One of them was smoking a long pipe. A little man in a top hat was talking to the old bartender, who was quite bald and looked like a toothless walnut. The low buzz of chatter stopped when they walked in. Everyone seemed to know Hagrid; they waved and smiled at him, and the bartender reached for a glass, saying, "The usual, Hagrid?"

"No thanks, Tom. I'm on Hogwarts business," said Hagrid, eyes flittering over to the pale young man nursing a drink at the corner of the bar. "How're yeh doing, Professor Quirrell."

"D-doing fine, H-Hagrid," said the man. "J-just having a d-drink."

During the brief conversation between Hagrid and the man, Harry sneaked up behind the stuttering man who was most likely a teacher at Hogwarts given the 'Professor' moniker.

Unseen by everyone, Harry let out a blood-curdling scream.

The professor jumped a few feet in the air before falling, his weight snapping the old chair and falling on the ground with a pained sound.

"I'm sorry, sir," said Harry mischievously. "But you looked like you needed a wake up stronger than coffee."

The rest of the bar got over their shock at the scream and started laughing uproariously, even Hagrid.

Professor Quirrell just glared at Harry furiously with all his might. Harry was unaffected by it though as Uncle Vernon glared at him worse every day.

"We need to move, Harry," whispered Hagrid, dragging the excited boy to the back of the bar.

"Funny as that may have been," spoke Hagrid. "It ain't a good idea making enemies out of your own teacher."

Where was the fun in that? Harry had wondered.

IlIlIlIlI

Albus Dumbledore was sounding more suspicious to Harry than ever.

Not only had the man left him at the Dursley's, but he had his bank key. He couldn't help but wonder how the man managed to obtain it. There was no way his dad would have just given it to him.

He brushed the thought out of his mind as he continued his shopping with Hagrid at the helm. He had already retrieved his robes, his books and his supplies. All he had left to get was his wand.

"I still need a wand," he told Hagrid. "Where can I get one?"

"Why Ollivanders is the best place for a wand," Hagrid pointed out a narrow and shabby shop. Peeling gold letters over the door read Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382b.c. A single wand lay on a faded purple cushion in the dusty window.

"There's somethin' I need to get," winked Hagrid. "You head on in and I'll be back in no time."

A tinkling bell rang somewhere in the depths of the shop as Harry stepped inside. Harry felt strangely as though he had entered a very strict library; he swallowed a lot of new questions that had just occurred to him and looked instead at the thousands of narrow boxes piled neatly right up to the ceiling. For some reason, the back of his neck prickled. The very dust and silence in here seemed to tingle with some secret magic.

"Ah yes," said the man. "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work."

Mr. Ollivander moved closer to Harry. Harry wished he would blink. Those silvery eyes were a bit creepy.

"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. A little more power and excellent for trans figuration. Well, I say your father favored it — it's really the wand that chooses the wizard, of course."

Ollivander measured his arm while looking at Harry as if he was contemplating him.

"Try this," Ollivander handed him a wand. "Maple and phoenix feather. Seven inches. Quite whippy. Try-"

Harry had barely waved it when it was snatched back from him.

"Definitely not," the man intoned. "I have a feeling you'll be a tricky customer."

Ollivander was correct. Thirty-seven wands later and several broken pieces of glass, including the side window, Harry was becoming quite frustrated.

"Thirty-seven wands," he spoke evenly. "You are certainly a tricky customer, Mr. Potter. Not since I-"

Ollivander went silent and disappeared for five minutes, eventually coming back with another wand.

"Blackwood and Tasmanian devil tail feather," he presented.

Harry took the wand. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wand above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of brown and white sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls.

"Interesting – very interesting," Ollivander intoned. "I remember every wand I made. Even the wands my father made. Your wand Mr. Potter, shares a core with one other wand. Just one other. The last wand with Tasmanian devil tail feather, was your grandfather Fleamont. A great prankster, and a great man."

Ollivander peered at Harry, a strange little smile on his face. "I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter."

Harry smiled at hearing this news about his granddad. It sounded like a love of pranks was hereditary in his family.

Hagrid took Harry for dinner in The Leaky Cauldron. The large man had bought Harry an early birthday present while he was getting his wand. A large snowy owl was currently sleeping in a cage next to him.

"So, Hagrid," asked Harry. "How do I get to Hogwarts?"

"The Hogwarts Express, of course," said Hagrid proudly. "It takes off from Platform 9 ¾ on September 1st."

"Platform 9 ¾?" queried Harry. "Why ¾?"

"Oh, right," grumbled Hagrid. "I should'a explained better. The train is hidden from Muggles on another platform. Between Platforms 9 and 10 is a wall. You just run at the wall. It's like a portal, the wall is. You will come out at the other side."

"That sounds cool," grinned Harry. "I heard people talking about Hogwarts Houses in the alley. What does that mean."

Hagrid chuckled. "I ain't doing a great job educating you about Hogwarts. Professor McGonagall would have my head if she saw how I was handling this."

"There are four houses at Hogwarts, Harry. There's Gryffindor, where I been meself. Gryffindor values courage, bravery, daring, and heart. Then there's Hufflepuff. They value loyalty above all else but also hard work, fairness, and patience. Then there's Ravenclaw. They value learning, intelligence, and creativity."

Hagrid's tone dropped. "Then there's Slytherin. There's not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin. You-Know-Who was one."

"Hagrid," warned Harry. "You sound very objective about Slytherin. What do they value."

"I'm sorry Harry," swallowed Hagrid. "I just haven't had the best experience with Slytherins. However they value resourcefulness, determination, pride, self-preservation and cunning."

"That sounds like me," exclaimed Harry.

"What," said Hagrid looking shocked.

"I've had to look after myself as far back as I remember," said Harry. "Living at the Dursley's self-preservation was key for me in surviving with them. However, I've been able to back at them with pranks over the years. I've had to be quite cunning with it though 'less Uncle Vernon would suspect me."

Harry leaned forward. "Am I evil, Hagrid?"

Hagrid was clearly thinking given the thoughtful look on his face.

"You're right Harry," he eventually said. "I need to think about all this once I leave you home."

At those words Harry shot up. "Oh no," he half yelled. "I am not going back there."

"But Dumbledore said- "

"It doesn't matter what this Dumbledore said," said Harry, trying to hold in his temper. There was no reason to get angry. It wouldn't get him what he wanted. "You saw what the Dursley's were like. Do you want to send me back there yourself?"

"Well no," agreed Hagrid. "But you need to stay somewhere before you start school."

"How about here," suggested Harry. "I'll rent a room. The bartender, Tom was it, he can keep an eye on me so I don't wander."

Hagrid was thinking. Eventually he made his decision.

"Tom," he called out.

The friendly bartender came over. "What can I get you Hagrid?"

"Harry wants to stay here until he starts at Hogwarts," said Hagrid. "He's offered to rent a room and all. Could you possibly keep an eye on him if you agree?"

"Of course," agreed Tom. "And I'll keep it quiet. There's no need to have everyone here know that the famous Harry Potter is staying here."

"Splendid," beamed Hagrid.

He turned to Harry. "If you need anything Harry just ask Tom and he will contact me, okay."

Harry agreed happily.

IlIlIlIlI

"Get out of my bar, Albus."

Harry had woken up an hour into his sleep and went down to ask Tom for water.

He saw Tom shouting at a tall, silver bearded man with garish robes.

"I need to take him home Tom," the man said. "He is not safe here."

"What is going on here?" a grey haired lady said who had just walked in. She was wearing a monocle and looked very formidable. "Who's not safe here?"

The man named Albus paled. "Nothing, Amelia. I'll see you at the next meeting."

And he left.

Harry went up to Tom and asked him for some water.

"Who was that man with the flashy robes?" asked Harry.

"That is Albus Dumbledore, your Headmaster-to-be," grumbled Tom. "A good man, but he gets on my nerves when he acts like he knows what's best. Don't worry about him. He's harmless."

Harry wasn't sure he believed that. But he thanked Tom for the water and went back to bed.

IlIlIlIlI

Harry enjoyed his time greatly at the Leaky Cauldron for the next month.

He had toured the shops at Diagon Alley and bought a few extra spellbooks. He also greatly enjoyed the ice creams at Florean Fortescue's who had taken to him very fast and engaged the youngster with stories of Hogwarts and his parents and grandparents.

Despite the advice of Tom, Harry wandered down Knockturn Alley one day out of curiosity. He had found his dream book down there called Ludus by Amusia Morensius. It was a book of pranks that he had taken a love to instantly.

He had wanted to take a trip to London but Tom always faced the front door. He would have seen him instantly.

Currently he was now at Kings Cross with the Diggory family. Tom had asked Amos Diggory in the bar the previous week if he would take Harry to Kings Cross.

Harry had stayed with the Diggory family the previous night. He enjoyed the company of the friendly couple, and their son Cedric took Harry outside to their makeshift Quidditch pitch and showed him how to ride a broom, which Harry loved instantly.

However, Cedric had pulled a couple of pranks on him the previous night. And he was about to have his revenge.

"Have a great year, boys," said Eleanor Diggory. "And I hope you visit us next Summer, Harry."

"I'd be delighted to," said Harry. "And I hope you have a great tea party at Christmas. Cedric told me last night he's hoping to join you and your friends that day."

Cedric shot him a furious glare. He had actually told Harry he was going to avoid it at all costs. But he was mouthing at Harry 'Well played. Now its my turn."

Cedric helped him find a Compartment and now he was sitting in the front carriage by himself. Cedric had gone off to find his friends but Harry didn't mind.

The compartment door opened and a teenage boy with red hair came in.

"You, get out," he ordered.

"Excuse me," said Harry. "If you want the compartment you're better off asking me nicely instead of coming in here and acting like an arrogant berk. Have you any manners whatsoever?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that," the redhead flushed. "This compartment is reserved for Prefects for the train meeting."

"Well played, Cedric," mumbled Harry.

He meant to grab his stuff but the redhead stopped him.

"That's too much for you to carry, I'll help you," he said. "By the way, my name is Percy Weasley."

"Harry Potter."

"Really."

"We should move fast if you have that prefect meeting," said Harry. He didn't want to deal with another fan. He came across enough of them in Diagon Alley.

That got him moving.

"Here," said Percy. "You can join my twin brothers. They're in this compartment."

He opened the compartment door his brothers were in.

"Fred, George. This young lad is looking for a compartment. Could you and Lee make him feel welcome?"

"Of course Prefect Percy," the twins chorused. Percy glowered at them before turning to Harry. He held out his hand. "Good luck Mr. Potter."

Harry shook his hand and sat down. The twins gaped at him.

"What's the matter?" asked Harry innocently. "Have you never seen a First Year before."

"I think Percy pranked us," said Fred. Or was it George. "There's no way this is Harry Potter."

"Too true, brother," said the other. "Harry Potter looks better than this."

"Shake my hand and you'll believe me," said Harry, hiding his smirk. He willed his magic to his hands to give an electric shock. "Shake both of them."

Fred and George put their hands out. Harry grabbed them and shook them.

The twins yelped as the electric shock went through them and their hairs both shot straight up.

Lee fell out of his seat laughing.

"Now do you believe me?" asked Harry.

"You are a god," the twins chorused, bowing before him. "A god, we say."

"Rise my subjects," ordered Harry. "And we shall wreak havoc together from this day forth. Now be seated."

IlIlIlIlI

Far away in Hogwarts, both Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape felt a cold chill go down their spines all the way to their toes.

What just happened? was the thought that passed through their heads.

IlIlIlIlI

On the Express Harry, the Weasley twins, and Lee Jordan were laughing away while Harry regaled them of his pranks since childhood.

The compartment door opened and a boy Harry's age with platinum blonde hair strode into the compartment.

"They're saying up and down the train that Harry Potter is in this compartment," he said haughtily. "I had to see if it was true."

Harry scowled. He had seen the boy in Diagon Alley on his birthday dragging his parents through the alley and behaving as spoilt and arrogant as Dudley.

"It's true," said Harry. "I'm Harry Potter, and you are-?"

"Malfoy," he said. "Draco Malfoy."

Draco looked around the compartment. Shooting a nasty grin at the Weasley's he said, "You'll find some families are better than others. I can help you there."

Harry leant out his hand. "Well pleased to make your acquaintance."

The twins shot him glares but he gave them a subtle wink. They both suddenly realised what he was about to do.

Harry grabbed the other boy's hand. Draco Malfoy howled in terror as electricity shot through his body and he hit the ground hard.

Harry stood over him. "I can tell the wrong sort myself."

Harry sniffed the air and saw a wet patch on the front of the idiot blondes clothes.

"Looks like you need a change of underpants, Draco," sneered Harry. "Surely you want to go take care of that."

Draco sent a venomous glare at Harry as he left.

IlIlIlIlI

The train slowed right down and finally stopped. People pushed their way toward the door and out on to a tiny, dark platform. Harry shivered in the cold night air. Then a lamp came bobbing over the heads of the students, and Harry heard a familiar voice: "Firs' years! Firs' years over here!"

Harry was about to head over to Hagrid when he was stopped.

"You're coming with us," the twins said.

The twins took him along the platform and out onto a rough mud track, where at least a hundred stagecoaches awaited the remaining students, each pulled, Harry could only assume, by an invisible horse, because when they climbed inside and shut the door, the coach set off all by itself, bumping and swaying in procession.

"These are for Second Years and up," said Fred. "But you're now one of us, so you're pranking your way in."

Harry smiled, liking that idea.

The coach had an odd smell, but Harry didn't mind. As the carriage rounded a corner, Harry got his first view of Hogwarts. Perched atop a high mountain, its windows sparkling in the starry sky, was a vast castle with many turrets and towers.

"Wow," breathed Harry. "It's impressively beautiful."

It wasn't until the twins dragged him out of the carriage he realised it had stopped. He just could not tear his eyes away from the beauty that was Hogwarts.

He changed his thought when he entered the Great Hall. Harry had never even imagined such a strange and splendid place. It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles that were floating in midair over four long tables,

These tables were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting.

Harry had been sitting between Fred and George at the Gryffindor Table, whom were hiding him from the teachers view. "They might be annoyed you're not with the other first years," they whispered.

Soon the great oak doors at the front opened. A stern looking woman wearing emerald-green robes came marching in with the first years behind her.

The lady put an old, weathered stool in front of the teachers table. On top of the stool she put a pointed wizard's hat. This hat was patched and frayed and extremely dirty.

Harry eyed the hat with interest when suddenly:

"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,

But don't judge on what you see,

I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat

And I can cap them all.

There's nothing hidden in your head

The Sorting Hat can't see,

So try me on and I will tell you

Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry

Set Gryffindors apart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true

And unafraid of toil;

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

If you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!

And don't get in a flap!

You're in safe hands (though I have none)

For I'm a Thinking Cap!"

So he had to wear the hat to determine what house he would be in.

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," the stern witch said. "Abbott, Hannah!"

A pink-faced girl with blonde pigtails stumbled out of line, put on the hat, which fell right down over her eyes, and sat down. A moment's pause —

"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat.

The table on the right cheered and clapped as Hannah went to sit down at the Hufflepuff table. Harry saw the ghost of the Fat Friar waving merrily at her.

He watched as the students got sorted. When the lady announced Malfoy's name Harry smiled.

The moment Malfoy started walking towards the stool Harry acted, narrowing his eyes on the pompous blonde, deciding on his classic prank on Dudley. The boy just reminded him too much of him. It was a little challenging as this time it was robes, not Muggle clothing.

Draco Malfoy's robes fell open and his lower clothes fell down, exposing his underwear.

Everyone in the hall stared for a moment before bursting into laughter. A furious Malfoy hurriedly put his robes back on and plopped down angrily onto the stool. When he was sorted into Slytherin Harry did it again as he stalked over to his table, his robes coming off again.

The school once again burst into laughter. Malfoy looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel with how red his face had become.

Eventually his own name was called. "Harry Potter."

"Best of luck, Harry," the twins said.

Harry stood up and made his way up to the stool. He felt all the eyes in the hall watch him with interest.

The stern professor gave him a look as he sat down.

"You weren't with the other first years, were you," she whispered angrily.

Harry put on his innocent look. "You're scaring me, Miss," he let his lips tremble.

"Sorry," the woman said. "Now let's get you sorted."

She placed the hat on his head.

"Quite the devious mind on you, young man," a voice said inside his ear. "A love for pranks. A lot of cunning behind those pranks, but the daring and the bravery seem to be greater. I can think of two houses perfect for you, but where to put you?"

"Gryffindor, please," thought Harry. "Being in Slytherin would have me watched. I won't be able to prank the Headmaster with him watching."

"That's still a very Slytherin attitude. So it better be…"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

AN: Hello everyone. Sorry about the wait. It hasn't been an easy time for me since I published the first chapter. I've re-read the books and re-watched the films so I won't miss a pranking opportunity. I have the whole fic now planned extensively. I hope you enjoy it. Best of luck.
-Haugh Wards.