Authors Note: Okay, so anyway, here's the chapter. And for those of you who gave reviews of the last chapter, I hope you aren'tall disappointed. R&R, I hope you like! ;)

Chapter 10

To Forgive, Or Not To Forgive?

That is the Question

"Oh yes Alice, I've missed you too!" Lily declared, running to her friend and throwing her arms around her friend and gripping her in a hug. She did not know why she had said it, but it was true. She had missed Alice.

Lily then proceeded to tell her all about her father and her James predicament. She knew that she could trust Alice. For some reason she knew that she was telling the truth when she said she had changed, and Alice had always been trustworthy. Alice was all sympathy about her father, and swore that she would not tell anyone, not even Holly, Caroline, or Janette. Alice told her that she could not advise her on the James front, only Lily knew what she wanted. Lily liked that answer, as it proved to her that Alice truly was different. The old Alice would have told her to go for James and if she got tired of him, so what? What had she really lost? But this Alice was kinder, and more thoughtful.

Lily was glad to have her back. Lily decided to skip their annual pow wow that night. She did not want to talk about James, or her dad, or anyone. And she was not interested in Caroline's stories about Ben, or Janette and Holly complaining about their boring summers. Well, Holly no doubt would have something to say about the many boys she had undoubtedly kissed that summer.

Instead, Lily went to bed early. She had not done any of her homework, because she did not have any of those classes the next day. She did not want to spend another day dealing with the feud between Gryfindor and Slytherin. She did not want to break up another fight, see another bloody nose, or watch someone else tripped 'accidentally' in the halls.

She was, however, looking forward to Thursday when she would go to the library to volunteer with Madame Pince.

The next day passed quickly. She had to break up only one fight in the hall, this one between Bellatrix Black, a fifth year, and Amelia Bones, Edgar's younger sister who was a fifth year. Bellatrix and Rudolphus Lestrange, who had a crush on Bellatrix and had for years- that was common knowledge to everyone within Hogwarts- had been attacking Amelia. Bellatrix had assaulted the poor girl, knocking her books to the floor and stepping on her loose parchment, cackling her evil laugh.

When Amelia had withdrawn her wand from her robes to fight back, she was a Gryfindor and not about to take that from anyone, Rudolphus had come at her from behind, hitting her with a bat boggy hex. Amelia skillfully dodged it, causing Bellatrix to be hit with the curse. Amelia then had spun to face Rudolphus, only to find him on her other side, supplying Bellatrix with the counter jinx. He had then attempted to put her in a leg locker, but she had quickly said the protective spell, shielding herself.

Lily, fortunately, had been on her way to transfiguration when this had been going on and had managed to put a stop to it, giving out detentions to all three and deducting ten points from Slytherin, five for each, and five from Gryfindor, much to her own displeasure.

Amelia had frowned, but as soon as Bellatrix and Rudolphus had skulked off, Lily awarded her ten points for having fought so bravely, even when outnumbered. She accompanied the points with a wink, something she had picked up from the Potters, and a promise that the detention would not be with Filtch, Inkbeat, or any of the Slytherins. Amelia smiled, and waved goodbye, scurrying to get to class.

Lily had to admit it, she was choosing sides. But how could she not? She was a Gryfindor, all her friends were Gryfindors, and she was a muggle born, meaning that the reason the Slytherins hated her. She had no choice but to side with her house and her friends.

Later on, after transfiguration, Lily was walking back with James to lunch. They had most of their classes together, except herbology, which James did not need to take. Lily lectured him about his behavior in potions the day before, reprimanding him or fueling the hatred between the houses.

"James, you can't just bully people like that. It's awful. I don't care how much he deserved it!" She said, holding up her hands to stem his protests. "Don't let me catch you at it again, James Potter." Lily warned him.

"Back to using my last name then?" He asked, sounding cynical.

"Only if you misbehave." Lily said, grinning foolishly. Just then Holly came and sat down on James's other side.

"Hi James!" She said happily. "When do you think you'll start training for Quiddich?" She asked cheerfully. He smiled at her, but Lily thought she saw reluctance in his smile. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on her part, though.

'Wishful thinking?' She demanded of herself. 'Why on earth would you be wishing for James not to be happy to see Holly? That's ridiculous. Holly is your friend, James is your friend, you should want for them to like each other! What is wrong with you Lily?'

She demanded of herself'

'Maybe you just don't want to think that he's like every other boy in Hogwarts.' Lily's mind said. 'Maybe you want to believe that he's different, and special. That he's not so shallow as to fall for Holly and her not-so-subtle flirting.' It was possible, Lily admitted to herself, although she hated thinking it of her own friend.

Lily's mind said. ' It was possible, Lily admitted to herself, although she hated thinking it of her own friend.

So much for being loyal, she thought. Looks like Alice was wrong, I'm not that good of a friend, to be thinking things like that about Holly.

she thought.

What would she say if she knew I thought she was only a pretty face? Lily asked herself. Chances were Holly would not be too pleased, Lily answered herself, remembering Holly's reaction on the train when she had thought Lily was hinting she wasn't smart enough for Remus.

"Lily?" James repeated for the third time, looking at her quizzically.

"Mmm? What?" She asked absently.

"I was wondering if you wanted to work on that essay with me." James asked.

"Sure, but if your idea of working together is the same as it was this summer, you can forget it." She said smiling. He had asked her if she would 'help' him with potions. Lily

had agreed, but later found that to him helping meant she gave him the answers.

"Of course not!" James said, pretending that she had mortally offended him. Holly was looking a little put out, she was in their transfiguration class, and yet James had not invited her to their study party. Holly gave Lily a pointed look, but Lily pretended not to notice it. If she had been a good friend, like Alice had said, she would have invited Holly to come along. She knew Holly wanted to date James, but she was obviously not a very good friend, as she had not desire to invite Holly to join them in writing the essay.

"I assure you that I will do my part. Want to do it tonight?" He asked.

"Sure. Have you done the potions assignment yet?" Lily asked.

"No way, what do you take me for? A do-Gooder?" James asked.

"I would never dare to think it." Lily promised. "I don't like to be disappointed." She added.

"And what, may I ask, is that supposed to mean?" James asked her.

"That you're too bad to ever be good." Lily told him, laughing. He did not reply, nor did he smile as she had intended.

"Anyway, do you understand the Potions?" He asked her, fishing for something to say to change to subject.

"Yes, why, do you not?" She asked.

"Not really." He admitted.

Lily was surprised that James was admitting to being anything other than perfect.

"We can do it together if you want. Tonight?" She asked.

"That would be great. Thanks Moonshine. I have to go practice for Quiddich. Well, I don't really need to practice, I'm so good without it, as I'm sure you remember from this summer." He said, smirking a little.

"Oh yes, har har di har har." She said sarcastically.

"But the rest of the team needs the practice, so I'd better go show them how it's done." He

said, walking away from the table. "See you tonight Lily! Holly." He said, not looking at her.

Holly looked rather put out as he left.

"Lily!" She whined.

"What?" Asked Lily, defensively.

"You didn't invite me to do the transfiguration with you! You know I want to date him, and you promised that you didn't! Why can't you help me?" Holly asked, obviously irritated.

"Oh, so you're saying you need my help getting James to give you the time of day? What does that say about a relationship between you two? If he doesn't like you without my telling him to, how long do you think it'll last?" Lily asked.

"You know what, just forget it. I'm not asking you to force him to do anything."

"Except hang out with you." Lily added.

"I'm going to go fine Edgar. Maybe when James sees me with someone else he'll realize that he wants me after all." Holly said, brightening.

"I thought you were going for Remus, anyway." Lily said, a little loudly because Holly had already stood up and started walking away. Remus, sitting only a few feet away, looked up with surprise.

"Shut up Lily! You are so stupid! You can't do anything!" Holly said, annoyed, seeing that Remus was watching. Lily could have slapped herself, she had now ruined Holly's chances with Remus. Well, maybe not. Not if he liked her back. But somehow she doubted it, Remus was not that shallow either.

"Hey. that was mean of her to say." Alice said, sitting down next to Lily.

"Oh, that's just Holly being Holly, you know that. I take everything she says with a pinch of salt, otherwise I would have had a mental breakdown long before now." Lily said airily. "Anyway, what's up?" Lily asked.

"Not much. Some Slyterin, I think his name is Dolohav, tried to trip me up when I was coming from herbology, but I just gave him an impediment curse. He should be coming out of it now. No doubt he'll be after me now. Oh well." Alice remarked with a sigh.

"Have you had Defense Against the Dark Arts yet?" Asked Fabian Prewett, sitting down cross the table. Lily was surprised that he was talking to her, she had not really talked to him very much, but then she remembered how Alice had been hanging out with other people, Fabian being one of them, for a lot of last year.

"No, why, have you?" Lily asked. "I have it next, how is it?"

"I hear its incredible. That's what Amelia told Edgar, anyway. He told me she loved it." Fabian told them.

"Really? He seemed nice when I met him last night. That's Sirius's cousin, you know." Lily told him.

"Oh, lucky guy. Sirius that is. This guy's apparently awesome!" Fabian said enthusiastically. "And, even better, he feels that working hard in class is more important than doing homework, so as long as we work hard and do our best in class, he goes light on homework. How awesome is that? I hope she was telling the truth." Fabian told her excitedly.

"I can't wait!" Lily said, cheerfully. She was getting a lot of homework, and was glad to hear about a break.

She did not have long to wait, as she had defense against the dark arts next. As soon as the bell rang she hurried off to the defense room and entered.

Apparently she was not the only one who had heard good things about this class, as the first and second rows were already filled with eager and expectant Gryfindor faces. Lily was forced to sit nearer to the back than she normally did. James and Sirius entered just before Professor Tonks, just scraping in on time. James sat next to Lily with a little smile, and Sirius sat on his other side.

"Why were you late?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Quiddich practice." James said quickly.

"Oh? Was the whole team there?" Lily asked, thinking quickly.

"Yes, of course. Why?" Asked James.

"Because Fabian was with me at lunch, so stop lying to me. You didn't have quiddich practice, that's a lie. Where were you two?" Lily asked. She saw James and Sirius shifting in their seats. Neither responded, but they were spared further reprimanding by the lesson starting.

"My name is Professor Tonks, but if that's too long to say, you can just call me Tonks. And just a warning, if you meet my little daughter, don't call her Nymphadora, call her Tonks too." Lily laughed at that, as did a few others including James and Sirius. Professor Tonks smiled at them.

"This year we will be using your Guide to Defensive Spells that you all should have bought this summer. Does everyone have it?" He asked, looking around. Everyone had a copy on their desk.

"Yes." Came the reply from a few students, the rest of the class continued to stare expectantly.

"So, anyway, we will be covering dueling, self defense, and we will go over the most commonly used curses and their counter curses. Does everyone have a wand?" He asked.

"Yes." Came the response again.

"All right then." Said Tonks looking around. "Everyone partner up." He said. People started standing up and looking around for partners, but before anyone could speak Holly came rushing toward James from her seat in the second row.

"James, will you be my partner? Please?" Holly asked, giving him her puppy dog expression that worked so well on most other guys. James looked helpless, as he had not already asked anyone else to partner with him he had no escape.

"Sure Holly." James said reluctantly. At least Lily thought it was reluctantly. He definitely wasn't jumping up and down for joy that Holly had asked him.

Lily looked around, Edgar Bones was looking irritated, scowling a little. He had obviously expected Holly to ask him to be her partner.

"Lily?" Asked Sirius as soon as Holly had dragged James away. Lily did not miss her triumphant smile that she gave to Lily on her way past. "As both our best friends have been dragged away and we both appear partnerless, would you care to be my partner?" He asked, extending his hand.

"Why yes Sirius, of course I would. But I can't believe that the only reason you want to be my partner is that James has been taken." Lily said, laughingly accepting.

"Well I would never leave a pretty girl like you all alone." Sirius said, laughing as well.

"How chivalrous, I'm sure." Lily said.

Professor Tonks had cleared the desks to the side of the room, clearing the way for people to practice.

"Today we will be practicing the shield spell. This can be used defensively against anything if activated early enough. Do you all know the shield spell?" He asked. Some people nodded while others shook their heads. "I see. Well your partners will be using very basic spells on you, which you will be deflecting with the shield spell. The word you say is 'Protego' and then you wave your wand in an arc in front of you. Everyone practice right now, not the words, just the motion." Professor Tonks demonstrated, and then directed them to do the same. Lily, who already knew the shield spell, practiced the movement. "Lily, that's good, but if you did it a little wider it would be more effective." Professor Tonks directed, showing her again. She practiced the movement and Professor Tonks smiled.

"Ready Lily?" Asked Sirius.

"I'm always ready." lily said, settling into a firm stance, waiting for him to hex her. "Why aren't you going?' Lily asked.

"I think James might kill me if I hex you." Sirius said, grinning.

"Who says the hex would get close enough to do any damage?" Lily challenged.

"I don't know, Lily, I hate to hex a girl." Sirius said. Lily leaned back, glaring at him. Just as she had let her guard down he shot a tickling charm at her. 'Protego!' Lily said, but she was too late. Before she had time to do the arc movement the charm had hit her and she was on the ground laughing and writhing with giggles.

"Sirius!" She gasped. "Make- it- stop!!" Lily yelled. Sirius was clutching his own stomach, laughing at her as she struggled to keep her composure and dignity, as much as is possible when on the floor laughing.

"Sirius!" James yelled from across the room, turning away from Holly. He shot the counter curse at Lily, causing her giggles to stop. As his back was turned, however, Holly, jealous of the attention he was showering on Lily, shot a leg locker curse at him.

"You tricked me!" Lily yelled at Sirius, although she was laughing about it. She had become much more good natured about that sort of thing lately. It must be from having spent so much time with these two. Lily thought with a sigh. "Just for that!" She pointed her wand at him. She saw an expression of fear in his eyes as he watched her. She laughed, and then shot a jelly leg jinx at him. He could not stand up properly anymore, he was falling to the ground and clutching at the wall to remain upright. "Thanks James!" Lily called over her shoulder.

She then saw James on the floor, struggling to free himself from Holly's leg locker. Lily, quick to return the favor he had done her, freed him.

"Nice one, Lily." James said. He turned just in time, as Holly was preparing to hit him with something else, and put up his shield, deflecting her curse. It bounced off his thick protective shield and hit her. It had apparently been a rather nasty one, as Holly was turning green.

"Very good!" Called Professor Tonks, walking over to James and patting him on the back. "Took you long enough, but nicely done in the end. Ten points to Gryfindor." James beamed. "Now for you." Professor Tonks said, addressing Holly. He looked at her for a moment and then shot a ray of green light at her. She returned to normal color, well maybe a little redder with anger and humiliation than was entirely natural, but reasonably normal looking.

Lily turned away from a still struggling Sirius, preferring to watch him suffer than to help him, and surveyed the damage. People had not used their shields very effectively, she decided. She saw several people on the floor, or rubbing their heads. Caroline had a bloody nose from a spell Janette had hit her with, and Gideon had a bruise on his arm that he was touching tentatively.

"I see that not all of you have entirely mastered the art of the shield spell. Perhaps more guidelines then?" Suggested Professor Tonks mildly. "Everyone line up across from their partner." He ordered them. They did so, Lily after first having released Sirius from his jelly legs. "Now, everyone in this line will be shooting an expeliarmus spell at everyone in that line. People on this line will deflect them. When I say go. One, two, three, go!" Professor Tonks said.

Sirius was in the shooting line, and on three he shot the expeliarmus spell at Lily. Lily deflected it with ease, but saw than not everyone had had such an easy time of it. Holly, who was next to Lily, was having trouble. She had lost her wand and was now trying to recover it, but in order to do so she had to crawl past the other struggling pairs, with beams of light flying over her head. She finally recovered it and made her way back to her place across from James, who, in her absence, had engaged Lily and Sirius in a conversation.

"Expeliarmus!" Holly said, pointing her newly recovered wand at James, who, hearing her, deflected it easily. Her wand then flew back across the room, where she had to go find it again. Grumbling and huffing, Holly left again. James grinned.

"James, you never told me what you were doing when you said you were at quiddich practice." Lily reminded him.

"Oh, yes. I didn't get a chance, as the professor started talking." James said, shifting from one floor to another.

Lily was about to argue when Holly returned, still angry. She shot and expeliarmus spell at James again, and Lily was sure he had seen, as he was looking right at her. He did not even move to defend himself, but instead allowed his wand to fly across the room.

Holly smiled triumphantly. Lily wondered whether he had done that to avoid her questions about he whereabouts, or if he had been trying to make Holly feel good. Somehow she found it hard to believe that it was the latter.

The bell rang some time later, and Lily still had not had a chance to ask James where he had been during lunch. Professor Tonks had asked them only to read up on the shield spell, a page in their textbooks. The entire class had cheered at this.

"James, wait up!" Called Lily irritably as she hurried after him. He stopped in his tracks when he heard her calling.

"Yes Moonshine, how can I be of service to you?" He asked cheerfully, turning to face her.

"You can tell me exactly where you were when you were supposed to be at lunch. Why did you leave so suddenly? You said quiddich, but I know that was a lie, so tell me." Lily demanded, stamping her foot for emphasis, just to let him know that she meant business.

"You're not going to like it." James said.

"Well then tell me quickly and explain it before I get a chance to be too mad." Lily said.

"Hogsmede, but only because I needed to stock up on dung bombs with Sirius." James said quickly.

"James Potter you do not have permission to be in Hogsmede. Ever. Do you not remember what your mother said? She told you that you did not have parental permission to be there." Lily reprimanded, crossing her arms and glaring.

"Come on Lily, let's talk about this somewhere else. People are staring." James said. Lily looked around, relenting.

There were people looking at the two, whispering behind their hands and giving her looks that she did not quite know the meaning of. Some boys were sniggering, while some of the other girls were glaring. Sirius had trotted off somewhere.

"Fine, as long as you promise you will discuss it with me, and not pretend that you can't do defense so that you have an excuse to leave." Lily said irately.

"So you noticed that too then?" James asked, laughing.

"Yes, Potter, I did." Lily told him witheringly.

"Oh, come off it Lil. I'm sorry okay? I'm late for class, I have to go, but we'll talk about this later, all right?" James said, looking over his shoulder in the direction of his classroom.

Noticing that they were late, ad were now almost alone in the corridor, Lily hurried outside to herbology, hoping that Professor Struit would not be too angry with her. Herbology was with the Slytherins, but fortunately not very many people were taking herbology.

The Slytherins in this class were not overly awful, although Severus was in this class. It appeared that when he wasn't with the other large, popular, loud and obnoxious Slytherin boys, he was his old quiet and subdued self. Lily even shared a trowel with him once.

Edgar Bones was in her class too, he was trying to become a healer at St. Mungoes. Alice was in her class, she claimed that herbology was always useful for potions, even though she was training to be an auror.

Lily and Alice and Edgar shared a table and talked a good deal. Edgar was very nice, and Lily re-bonded with Alice some more. Lily discovered for the first time that Alice was capable of having a conversation with a boy that had no flirting whatsoever.

They talked about their summers, although Lily did not mention James or her father, and Alice did not mention Frank. Edgar talked about his parents and how his dad had been having a hard time at the ministry because of the Malfoys and their cronies. Edgar was totally against the Death Eaters and Voldemort, and assured both Lily and Alice that he would not let any Slytherins talk badly about them just because they were from muggle families.

He told them he wanted to be a healer to do his part for the good side, to cure both muggle borns and pure bloods, he said that blood didn't matter, it was your personality and magical capabilities that were important, not your blood.

That evening Lily made sure that James kept his promise. When she approached him in the common room he stood up from the couch and walked away from his group of friends. They had all been laughing at something he had just said, but his face was somber now.

"Look, Lily, I'm sorry I went into Hogsmede, okay?" James said.

"How did you get in, anyway?" She asked. James didn't answer her. He looked down at the floor. "James! Tell me." Lily demanded, looking at him imploringly.

"I can't, Lily. It's a secret. I can't just betray my friends like that." James said, still not meeting her eyes.

"You don't trust me? You don't consider me one of your friends?" Lily asked.

"Of course I trust you Lily. And you're one of my best friends. But how trustworthy would I prove to be if I gave away other people's secrets like that?" James asked her, looking up at last.

"Fine, James, whatever. You continue sneaking off into Hogsmede, whatever. I really don't care." Lily said, offended.

"Lily, come on. It's not like that." James stretched out a hand to pull her back, so that he could explain.

"Get your hands off me, Potter." Lily snapped angrily. He let go so quickly that it was as if she had scorched him.

"Fine, Evans." James said, turning back toward the couch and sitting again. Lily watched as his friends laughed around him, but did not fail to notice that he was not smiling.

Authors note: What does everyone think of Professor Tonks? Does anyone have any ideas for future lessons? Or pranks that Sirius and james can pull too...those would be helpful ideas. And I need an answer to the title...To Forgive, or Not to Forgive? 3 ;)