A/N: I apologize for this chapter taking so long! I got busy and then kind of hit some writer's block. Chapters overall might take more time now because of it, but I still plan on finishing this story! I think I got more motivated to finish today because of the InuKagMoro reunion in Yashahime, haha. I hope everyone who celebrates had a good holiday and New Year!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was a perfect day. Everything smelled like earth and flowers, and the stream was blushing pink under the multitude of cherry blossoms that were beginning to bloom. Inuyasha felt invigorated by the new scents and sounds that were emerging as spring fully kicked off. His forest had more critters in it as animals paired up and started having babies, which made for more patrols to keep any large predators away, which in turn burned off his energy and let him feel much more relaxed during the day.
He and Kagome were currently busy repairing Kikyou's grave, which needed some wood replacements. Kagome held the planks as delicately as she could with one arm still needing rest, while he sanded them down into smooth foundations. It was a delicate little shrine and removing things scared him, but it turned out to be sturdy enough for him to pull out the bad planks without damaging anything further.
Inuyasha had buried countless people, but never really found solace in a grave himself. This was the first time he'd specifically come to Kikyou's resting place without Kaede, yet it didn't feel as sad a place as it had back then. He hoped Kagome being able to help take care of the village made her spirit happy.
"Inuyasha?"
"Hmm?" he hummed, reaching for the hammer and nails.
"You just look like you're thinking about something."
"Do I?" He had no desire to hide the fact from her, but it still felt more natural to play coy.
"What are you thinking about?"
She handed him the finished beam and he set about hammering it into place, nails held between his teeth so that his next words were slightly muffled. "You, silly."
She blushed a little, furrowing her brows. "What's silly? What about me?!"
"Trust me, if I'm spacing out around you, you don't wanna know what I'm thinking," he said, shooting her a playful look.
Kagome's mouth gaped open and closed like a fish for several seconds, before she seemed to decide he was making fun of her and snapped it shut with a deep flush and a narrowing of her eyes. "Seriously, you've been... spending too much time around Miroku-sama..."
He laughed a little, going back to nailing the wood. "I'm kidding. I was thinking you're good for this place."
"Huh?"
"Everyone's happier when you're around. The villagers even give you offerings in thanks. Kaede-babaa's definitely happy with someone helping her out. I know Kikyou would be, too."
Kagome looked away for a moment, her lashes lying sooty over her cheeks. "You think so...?"
He stopped his work just long enough to give her a much more serious look. "Of course I do. Why else would I say it?"
She smiled at that. "Thank you. That's sweet..."
"Do you not think so?"
The woman sighed, plucking at a bit of grass. "I guess I go back and forth. I like being here and like helping out, but sometimes I still feel a little out of place."
"I guess that's normal," he said, carefully shaving off any excess wood with his claws. "Your origins are a little different, after all. But even if you feel out of place, you can still belong as long as you have people who accept you, right? You taught me that."
Kagome smiled again, much brighter this time. "I guess that's true." It was so close to a smile he hadn't properly seen in a while that his chest constricted.
"Yeah," he affirmed quietly, "and... if you felt like you could smile again... the way you used to, it would make me happy, too."
Her hand came up to her mouth self-consciously. "Has it... changed that much? I guess I stopped noticing."
"You still smile a lot, and it's still nice. But it's kinda... more reserved than it used to be? I don't know how to say it without sounding like I'm complaining, but you were really... bubbly when I first met you. Your smiles used to look like they'd break your face when you were happy."
"No, you're not complaining if you're just worried about me. But I guess a lot of things back then started taking their toll..."
He stopped working and gave her his full attention. "Kagome..."
"Don't apologize, it wasn't a good situation for any of us. And I didn't react well to... certain things."
"Well..." he looked away, "neither did I."
"I want to try, though. I think it'd make me happier, too."
Familiar shuffling footsteps caught his attention, and Inuyasha looked up to see Kaede coming up the shrine path with her hands full of what appeared to be their lunch. He flashed Kagome a quick smile before clearing the distance to the old woman quickly, moving to take the items for her. By the smell of it, she'd made millet dumplings and some rice with mushrooms and mountain greens.
"Thank you, Inuyasha. Have you two finished here already?"
He kept pace with Kaede's slower steps and saw Kagome getting to her feet and brushing off her hakama to meet them halfway. "Just about," he said. "I think Kagome wanted to change out the flowers and incense."
"That's good. I think my sister would like to see the cherry blossoms now that they're out."
"Did she like flowers?" he asked, genuinely not knowing. They had reached Kagome now, who smiled at Kaede in greeting.
"Yes she did, though her only expression of it were some clumsy poems that she kept hidden from everyone. I only knew about them because I would sometimes snoop through her things." The old woman gave a conspiratorial smile.
Kagome giggled. "I sometimes forget you were the younger sister. My little brother Souta would often go into my room or look at my stuff without permission, too."
Kaede chuckled good-naturedly. "It's a younger sibling's job to be obnoxious at times. Must keep each other on our toes."
"Is that what Sesshoumaru would call it? Keh." Inuyasha never really got to find out what it was like to be a little brother, but he had to admit the idea of getting on Sesshoumaru's nerves just for the sake of it did sound a little appealing. If the other dog youkai didn't retaliate by trying to kill him, at least.
"Kaede-obaa-chan, would you like to join us for lunch?"
"That sounds lovely, Kagome. These old bones could use the fresh air."
A few minutes later, there were washed branches of abloom cherry trees neatly arranged around the grave shrine, and some sweet smelling incense burning while the three of them set about their picnic. Kagome had often instigated these picnic-style meals when they'd been traveling, but Inuyasha realized it had been a while since they'd done it. She'd often leave offerings for little shrines or Jizo statues, and this time she seemed to want to include Kikyou. She and Kaede seemed happy, so that was okay with him.
The women were talking, but Inuyasha was a lot more interested in the actual lunch. However, his ears still caught bits and pieces as his attention drifted.
"I don't know much about simple village weddings in this time," Kagome was saying. "They weren't really recorded in history."
"Well you two are a bit of an unusual case to begin with," Kaede started. "Rather young, living together, and still not even sleeping with each other." Her voice was frank, but Inuyasha could swear the gleam in her one good eye was sly. He spit out his tea and coughed.
"Inuyasha, the herbs in that tea are not easy to come by," Kaede scolded, to which he glared. "At any rate, you will receive a marital blessing, and since neither of you have family here then the villagers may want to give gifts and drink in your honor, themselves. What you two do especially is up to you, since by typical tradition you would be considered wed already."
"We're not any weirder than Sango and Miroku," he grumbled.
"Then perhaps you should ask them."
He scoffed. "Their main goal was to have a bunch of babies, I know what they'll say."
"Oh, Inuyasha," Kaede huffed back at him. "You don't give them enough credit. After all that they went through, they wanted something a little special too, you know. Surely even you saw that."
He had, but it didn't change his opinion on their fundamental difference in intent for their life going forward. Their wedding may as well have been a baby shower as well. Inuyasha didn't need or necessarily even want all that. He just wanted Kagome to stay by his side, and to be by hers. But maybe she would want all that...
He looked over at Kagome, her hair shining like a rook's in the sunlight of the day. She hadn't really told him much about her hopes for the future yet, other than wanting to assist Kaede and their talk back at Satori village – which remained theoretical. He supposed he hadn't really asked her, either... Maybe he should do that? Or were these things meant to be surprises? Kaede had just said not to go with what was considered average.
"Do you want seconds, Inuyasha?" Kagome was looking at him warmly, and he noticed his bowl was empty for the first time.
"Uh, sure," he affirmed, holding it out for her to refill with rice.
"Ah," she remarked just after, reaching towards him, "you've got a little..." Her hands came to the top of his head and he watched a few cherry blossom petals flutter past his vision as she dusted them off. She giggled. "These are everywhere, I think I should make cherry blossom tea and jam! Doesn't that sound yummy?"
Inuyasha only nodded, not entirely sure what to say about it, though it did sound good. Kaede piped up, "You can use my pickling jar if you still don't have one. I was thinking about making something sweet myself, for the ceremony."
His ears flicked under the featherweight of more petals, and he and Kagome spoke almost in unison when they said, "You don't have to-..."
"I want to." Kaede's smile was kind and Inuyasha felt a sudden impulse to blush and look away to hide what her words meant to him. Kagome was taking it better, but seemed a little flustered as well. It seemed whatever she was hoping for, she hadn't expected this either.
The moment was abruptly ended by a rather chilly wind blowing in, tousling the two miko and the hanyou's hair. Packing up her lacquerware, Kaede excused herself and took her leave before it could get too much more breezy. Kagome was also ready to head back, with their repairs complete. Inuyasha stood alongside her.
He was just about to open his mouth to ask Kagome some question about what he'd been thinking about before, when a woman approached them, a small child in tow. "Excuse me, Kagome-sama... I'm very sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if you could watch my little boy for a bit while I tend to my work? He's getting a little too big to be underfoot, nowadays." She bowed to Inuyasha in offhand greeting while speaking.
Kagome for her part looked a bit surprised to be asked, the duty still usually falling to Kaede to care for busy women's children. She gave Inuyasha a split-second glance as if about to gauge his reaction, before answering promptly. "Of course I can do that. I mean – I'd be happy to. Most of my chores for the day are done, but I'm sure we can find something fun to do for a while."
…
After that, it was like everyone decided they needed the extra babysitting, and Kagome found herself surrounded by kids anywhere between infants to ten year-olds. She was beginning to suspect Kaede was subtly turning mothers to her in an attempt to give her some different training. She had seen Kaede watching the little ones of the village many times before, but never thought much about how she may be doing it herself someday. They were all very well behaved so far, and she did like children, but still she was feeling a little overwhelmed. She looked toward Inuyasha, finding him still fairly nearby, letting out a yawn before sprawling out on the grass, like he was resolved to stay out of it and give them all their space.
She sighed, not knowing what else she'd been expecting. He was likely going to watch over her and think his own thoughts, but interacting with kids was never his forte. She was probably on her own with this. Taking a deep breath, she tried to change her mindset and go into "miko mode" as she called it. Why shouldn't she do it herself? She could do this – especially without Inuyasha!
"Okay!" she announced, clapping her hands together once to capture her entourage's attention. "Who here has caught beetles before? It's a bit early, but I think we can find some if we try!"
It was easy to enamor the kids with smearing sugar water over big trees to try and coax out a stag beetle, but she'd been dead wrong about Inuyasha sticking close by. The sneak had disappeared somewhere without so much as a word. It was unusual, but not entirely unexpected, she supposed. Twirling a blade of long, plumed grass between her fingers, Kagome indulged herself a little in pouting over her fiancee ditching her. She couldn't hold it for long though, as one small girl came running up to her, all smiles and pointing to where most of the other children were gathered around the trees bordering the village.
"Kagome-sama, Kagome-sama! There are beetles eating the sugar!"
Smiling back, Kagome hauled herself back to her feet and moved over to join in on the excitement. Indeed there were at least three beetles that were lapping at the bait they'd laid out. Scooping one onto her hand, the miko held it out for the kids' inspection, letting nostalgia take over her mind for the first time in a long time as she told them stories about how her little brother used to catch these and keep them as pets because he and a lot of other boys like their impressive jaws.
The kids were then determined to keep the beetle, working to build it a little home out of leaves and twigs. The sun was high in the sky by the time the entire outing was over, and several parents came to retrieve their children, giving Kagome their thanks. The reactions from both parent and child made her chest swell with happy accomplishment, and she wished them all a good day one by one until she was alone again. Still in a good mood, she set out in search of Inuyasha again. Hopefully he hadn't gotten too lonely.
…
Inuyasha didn't know why he was even doing this. His knee bounced anxiously as the youkai exterminator across from him watched, patting her cooing baby's back in a soothing rhythm.
"So if I'm understanding correctly," said Sango, "you're worried about how Kagome-chan wants to be married to you?"
"No! It-... It sounds really stupid when you put it like that..."
She gave him a patient look. "Then help me understand better. Why are you asking me, specifically?"
Inuyasha pursed his lips into an awkward line, thinking about how to best answer. "You guys weren't... traditional, either... Was it weird for either of you?"
"Not really. Because we both knew what we wanted and expected from each other already."
His ears pricked. "That. I know what I want, but I guess I'm not sure what she expects... I never really expected much to change between us, but maybe she does. Did you want, y'know, a family and stuff before you liked Miroku?"
Sango's hand on the baby's back paused briefly. "Is that what this is about, Inuyasha? You think you'll have cold feet about fatherhood if Kagome wants that?"
"Not just that, no. But this, er, domestic life thing isn't something I gave a lot of thought to before. The only other time I considered it was for... for the wrong reasons, I think. But I want Kagome to be happy here. With me."
"Then think about it and why you want it for the right reasons this time." After a brief moment where Inuyasha was sure he must be giving some kind of pathetic puppy eyes from how Sango's expression changed, she added, "And tell her that. Even if she knows it, it's nice to hear it – just like you formally asking for her hand in marriage. You've never thought about domestic life before, so think of this as your first opportunity to freely talk to your bride-to-be about what you both want. Make plans, dreams, that sort of thing. It doesn't have to jump straight to children, either."
He tilted an ear, considering. So far it felt like Kagome had been shaping her own life while he was content to be along for the ride and help her achieve it. Living together, the garden, the stupid chickens – all of those were her ideas. "All I know how to promise is that I'll always be with her."
"Then promise!" Sango asserted. "My husband and I spent a lot of time promising each other simple things. But the fact that we could finally do it is what made it so special."
He hadn't really thought of it that way. His companionship and protection had been all he had really been free to pledge to Kagome back when they were traveling. Those would only be stronger now, and he could keep adding to the list of things he wanted to promise her. He owed her everything, and now he had a lifetime to pay it back.
"... Thanks," the hanyou said at last. "I think maybe I have an idea of what to talk to her about, now."
"I'm glad to help, Inuyasha. How is Kagome-chan doing?"
Inuyasha watched baby Hisui wiggle against the woman's chest, little fists bopping, clearly being soothed into sleep but being stubborn about it. "She's fine. I left her with a bunch of kids the villagers were asking her to take care of, but it's nothing she can't handle."
"Ah," Sango remarked knowingly. "Ran away, huh? I bet Kagome-chan's feeling overwhelmed, but you're right. She can handle that much."
"You make it sound like I'm being a jerk."
"No such thing, but this is a good opportunity to talk when she seeks you out to decompress, later."
Inuyasha said nothing to that, but his brain was already working. He'd found a cozy hill that overlooked the village where a nice breeze reached. It seemed like a good place to think and relax. He'd take her there.
…
"There you are," Kagome approached, smiling though looking for all the world like she'd just ran a mile to find him.
"Kids run you too ragged?" he asked, partly teasing and partly in actual concern.
"No, no," she let out a breathy laugh. "Nothing I couldn't handle. They were sweet, really."
"You look tired."
"Do I?" Her hand came up to brush some hair behind her ear. "I guess I am, a little. But I thought you might've gotten lonely, not joining in. Where were you?"
"I just went to see Sango. She seems to be feeling a lot better, so she'll probably be back to normal soon."
Kagome smiled. "Thank goodness. I felt so bad for her, having to balance feeling sick with three young kids."
"Yeah well, you gave her good care."
She giggled a little in pleasure at the compliment, but silence stretched between them for a few seconds. He let it, before finally speaking, "Kagome... Can you come with me, please?"
"Sure. Where are we going?"
"Not too far away."
With a soft sound of agreement, she let him haul her up onto his back and wrapped her arms snugly around his neck as he took off. He wasn't sure if it was intentional or if she was avoiding the wind, but her face seemed to snuggle into the crook of his neck. It made the hairs on his nape stand on end and his heart skip a beat. As soon as they sorted out their talk, he was going to kiss her. A lot.
True to his word, their destination did not take long to get to. Kagome's body lingered against his even as she slid off his back. Inuyasha moved to sit down on the grassy overlook and made himself comfortable. She followed, folding her hands neatly into her lap.
"So what's up?" she asked, as casually as she could.
He sighed, letting himself relax and lean his shoulder slightly into hers. "Nothing much, just... Kagome, are you happy?"
She narrowed her eyes. "What kind of question is that?"
"I mean... I know you're 'happy'," he amended, "but is there anything you still want out of this life?"
She still looked a little confused by his line of thought, though he could see her trying to put the pieces together of what he might be really asking her. "Well sure, maybe. But really, most of it can wait a few years. We're still young, and there's a lot of time to just... be. I think I'd like that after everything we went through before."
He looked at her with apprehension. She clarified. "I mean like still figuring ourselves out, along with each other. Bigger commitments can come later."
Inuyasha sighed in relief, looking back towards where the village bustled below them. "I can give you that."
Her answer was much simpler than he'd expected and aligned with his own wishes in a way that was very comforting. Being a couple had been new, so he'd been the one to suggest they have a dating period, and now married life would be new, and it was nice to know things weren't about to rapidly change before either of them could settle and just enjoy each other.
"Inuyasha, what's this about?"
"Sango and I talked a little about things, and she mentioned the freedom to make promises to each other now. That made sense to me, and so if there was anything that would make you happy, I wanted to be a part of it."
"Sango-chan said that?"
He nodded. "So... So I promise to always be by your side, so you will always feel special to me and protected by me. I promise you'll never have to feel lonely or scared." Swallowing thickly, the hanyou turned his body until he was completely facing her. "I promise to be more open, to talk to you, so that you don't ever doubt my feelings for you again. I won't shut down anymore. If you think I am, I won't get defensive about it, either."
Her hand was there, so he brushed it deliberately with his. "Kagome, I... I love you. So much. I know I can't always be calm and understanding like a human. Or confident and composed like a youkai. But whatever it is you've always seen in me despite that, I promise to you."
Kagome hiccuped around a smile, obviously trying to keep some tears at bay. The hand he'd brushed came to grasp his, and he watched the way their fingers linked and fitted together while he waited for her response.
"Inuyasha, I promised I'd stay by your side, and nothing is going to change that. No matter where you go or what you do, you'll never have to be alone for it. You mean more to me than anything, and you're such a good man. I want to give you everything, and please believe me when I say you deserve it more than anyone I know." Her grip on his hand squeezed, before coming up to touch feather soft against his face. "Whether as your companion, your wife, or your lover, I will always be with you. And I will always make sure you know you are loved with me; listen to you, talk to you, and have faith in you as a partner and as a person."
Her lips came to his, then. A quick but intimate brush that left him wanting to cry. "I love you too, Inuyasha. More and more every day."
He bit his lip, suddenly out of words to respond with. His heart was pounding loud and warmly with love, and the wonder of how he ever got lucky enough to come across this woman. "I..." he tried, "You... C'mere."
He pulled her in tight, squeezing with as much might as he could muster without hurting her. She held him back just as tightly, and when her cheek nuzzled against his, he turned his face enough to be able to claim her lips. They stayed there together until evening, enjoying each other and the setting sun.
A/N: I noticed in the manga that Kagome kind of smiles less and less throughout the series. Or at least she lacks the same bubbly energy behind it. (It could be mere art style changes, but honestly she was always the supporter and rarely supported, so I would not be surprised it took a toll.) So I wanted to mention that. Overall I think that even though they love each other very much, allowing themselves time to learn what boundaries and commitments change with their relationship is important. I think they will continue to do so even after the actual wedding, and I'm really looking forward to writing that! Their priorities as a couple right now are not very big or complex, but that might slowly change as they're ready for it to. (It's Moroha. I'm talking about Moroha. :P)