A/N: Another day, another chapter, another piece of crap that I force upon you. /Sigh/ Oh, well I suppose I can't be all bad considering all the wonderful reviews I've gotten for this story. Thank you so much! I can't begin to tell you have much I appreciate them. But then again I always feel guilty and sad when I read them, why you ask? Because I read them and say to myself, 'Wow, people actually want me to continue this story! I'm so happy they like it!' So now I'm feeling motivated by your encouragement and turn on my computer to type. But then I just sit there, staring at the blank white screen and blinking cursor and think, 'Dammit, I can't think of anything to write!' And so my depression begins.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or anything officially related to it. I'm just writing this story for fun.

Warnings: Language, and possible violence in later chapters, SLASH but not until later on.

Spoilers: At least the first four books

Enjoy! (Even though you probably won't.)

Chapter Eight: Heirs and Past Experiences
Eventually the lovey-dovey looks stopped and Salazar straightened up, so the four founders, plus Harry and Merlin, sat down to talk.

"Um, may I ask a question?" Harry asked nervously and looked around at the assorted occupants of the room, whom all had their eyes trained on him.

"Of course, dear." Helga replied sweetly and patted his hand. "You must be confused and we promise to do are best to answer any and all questions you may have, dumpling."

'Dumpling' Harry mouthed, then decided to ignore it and move on. "Well, earlier, Godric said something about an inheritance, what did he mean? And who or what is The One? How come I activated the Time Portal and how did I even do it? Why are all of you so interested in me? What's happening back in my time? What happened to the Death-Eaters? And the Dursleys'? -- Not that I really care, mind you – are they all right? Why is Salazar Slytherin not evil? Why is Godric a loony tune? How come the history books never tell you how beautiful Rowena is and that she was married to a man with an attitude like an excited puppy? Why is Alucard named Alucard? And how come Helga is so nice and sweet? She's like a mother to me already and I've only known her for all of two seconds! How – "

"Stop!" Four voices shouted. Helga just smiled and said, "My what an inquisitive boy you are."

"Sorry." Harry apologized and dropped his eyes.

"Don't be sorry, cupcake." Helga cooed. "We understand, don't we?" She glared at her friends with a look that said 'Agree with me or die. Painfully.' Rowena, Salazar, Godric, and Merlin frantically nodded their heads. "Lovely." Helga laughed, suddenly all smiles as she turned back to Harry. "Now which question would you like an answer to first, sweetie pie?"

"How about, why am I here?"

"Ah, good choice, short-stack." The blonde woman praised him like a kindergartner who had given the correct answer. "Merlin, how about you explain?"

The addressed man cleared his throat and nodded shortly. "The reason we brought you here, -- or actually, the reason why your magic brought you here – is because we need to give you something."

Harry waited for more but Merlin just looked at him. "And that something would be . . . " Harry trailed off and Merlin blinked.

"Oh. Yes." He cleared his throat again. "You see, lad, your father's family is the direct descendants of Godric and Rowena."

The two stared lovingly at each other then at Harry, who looked floored. "Say what?"

"That's not all, " Merlin continued. "You are also the heir to Helga and Salazar on your mother's side."

Harry's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He was related to all for founders? Salazar was married to a woman who made Mother Teresa look almost evil? Holy crap. He put a hand to his forehead and noticed that it was shaking, he felt faint.

"Are you all right, sweet pea?" Helga asked with concern.

"What? Oh, yes, I'm fine." He took a deep breath and released it slowly. "Okay, so you mean to tell, that I'm related to four of the most famous, most powerful people in magical history?"

"Five, actually." Godric put in.

"Five?" Harry asked weakly. He looked over at Merlin who blushed and shuffled his feet slightly. "Oh, my God."

"I'm related to Merlin." Rowena explained gently.

"You are?" She nodded. "So, you two are married?" He pointed to Rowena and Godric. "And so are you two?" He looked at Helga and Salazar. All four nodded. "And you're related to Rowena?" Merlin agreed. "And I'm related to all of you though both sides of my family?" All five nodded. Harry paused, deep in thought, and then all of a sudden grinned at them. "Awesome."

"You took it better than I thought you would." Salazar commented.

"Actually, my head is spinning so fast I feel like about to collapse, but I've started to build an immunity to strange, weird, and all together horrifying experiences over the last couple of years."

"Really? What sort of things?" Godric asked eagerly. "You mean at Hogwarts, right?'

"Yeah," Harry replied. "I've been though some startling things, to put it mildly."

"Such as?'

"Well, I've fought a troll with my friend, I've met a giant three-headed dog named Fluffy, of all things, a vicious baby dragon named Norbert, I brawled with possessed teacher, oh and I nearly swallowed a snitch. And that's just my first year at Hogwarts." Helga looked horrified.

"Go on, what else?" Godric pushed with excitement.

"Well, let's see, in second year, my friend and I flew a flying car into a Whomping Willow, I was nearly knocked off my broom during a Quidditch match but my arm was broken instead, and because we had a shitty Defense Against the Dark Art's professor that year, the broken bones were removed and I spent the night in the hospital growing them back, and shortly after that, I was bitten by a Basilisk."

Helga squeaked in shock and covered her mouth with her hand.

"What about your third year?" Even Salazar looked intrigued.

"Let's see, I blew up my Aunt like a balloon before the year even started, and I was scared at first, but it was hilarious after I was assured that I wasn't going to be punished for using magic outside of school. I experienced why everybody fears Dementors first hand on the Hogwart's Express, I fell off my broom fifty feet in the air because I fainted, oh, I almost forgot, in second year Ron, my friend, and I were almost killed by man-eating spiders in the Forbidden Forest. Back to third year now, I met the only man to ever escaped from Azkaban Prison and it turns out that he's my godfather, can you believe that? When he's name is cleared I can brag about him to all my friends. I also learned the Patronus spell and took on about a hundred Dementors, but before I did that I nearly had my soul sucked out by one, those things are really ugly you know that? And then me and another one of my friends used a Time Turned o help Sirius, my godfather, escape on the back of a wrongly accused Hippogriff, which we saved from execution by stealing it before the Ministry got to him. There were also some dealings with a werewolf and the traitor that killed my parents, but I don't feel like going into that right now."

"Damn." Godric breathed in awe. Everybody except Helga nodded in agreement. She looked petrified.

"Forth year?" Merlin asked this time.

"Hmm, well, first off Death-Eaters attacked some Muggles at the Quidditch World Cup, I flew around a full grown dragon during the Triwizard Tournament, met some Mer-people, fought in maze set with traps and running amok with deadly animals, including a Sphinx, whose riddle I did answer correctly, all of which ended with me seeing a friend die, watching Voldemort's return, and then dueling with him, where I met the shades of the people he had killed over the years, my parents included." By this time Harry's voice had become softer and his audience was holding their breaths.

Except for Helga. "Oh, snookums!" She cried and threw her arms around Harry. "You've been through so much and are still so sweet and adorable!" She hugged him, sobbing into his shoulder, and starting rocking back and forth.

Merlin and the other founders just watched as Harry flailed about, struggling to get away from Helga's smothering grip. Hey, if he could survive all of that surely he could survive Helga's affections?

Rowena, Salazar, Godric, and Merlin all shared a terrified look then jumped up to rescue their heir from certain death.

A/N: Are then chapters getting worse or is it me? Maybe I should just give up. /Ignores tiny voice screaming 'Quitter!' and continues to beat her head against the desk./ Ow, I shouldn't have done that, because now I've killed what few brain cells I had. /Rubs forehead./ Oh well, please review if you found any part of this chapter entertaining or if you have any ideas for a crossover or if you just want to yell at me or something, feel free to do so.

Guten Tag - Reine