Authors Note: Okay, so this chappie might be a bit slow. But soon I promise we'll get into some marauders and stuff...it'll be fun. Oh, and I hope that the bit at Kings Cross was somewhat realistic...was it? Well I mean it's obviously not realistic, but did it make sense is what I'm really asking...Anyway RR!
Chapter 19
Hazel's Christmas
"Hazel, baby!" said a large, bustling woman. If you looked at her next to her daughter and had not been told they were related, you would not have guessed it. Hazel, who was short anyway, appeared to be a pixie compared to her mother. Her mother wasn't exactly fat, but she hadn't quite lost all the weight she had gained from her last pregnancy...six years ago. She was tall and square, with a large, engulfing personality. She hugged her daughter close, smiling happily to see her.
"Hiya momma." Hazel said quietly. She was quiet by nature, and when she was with her mother and her large personality, she seemed to grow even more timid. "Hi dadda." Hazel said, turning to her father, who was in a wheelchair. He had lost the ability to use his legs when he got sick. The doctors did not know exactly what he had, but it was eating away at his insides and was slowly shutting down his systems. His legs did not work, he was bald, and he was going deaf fast.
"Hazel? Is that you?" He asked slowly. Hazel did not know what her mother had been thinking of, bringing her dad to this place. It was crowded, and the loud noises were undoubtedly hurting him.
"It's me dadda." Hazel replied, smiling at him and kissing his cheek.
"Welcome home baby." He said, smiling. He always got happier whenever Hazel was home. At least that was what her mom said, Hazel did not know if she was just being nice or if it was the truth.
"Hi Adam." Hazel said, crouching down and hugging her little brother who, up until now, had been hiding behind his mother. He rarely saw Hazel, and Hazel did not always know if he remembered her. It hurt most of the time, but he always remembered quickly and loved her. She loved him too. Apparently he did remember her this time, though, as he threw himself on her with a flying leap of a hug.
"Hazel!" He shrieked, laughing his happy little child's laugh.
"Hi Adam. Have you been having a good year in school?" Hazel asked.
"No." Adam said, pouting.
"Oh? Tell me all about it." Hazel said, holding his hand and walking with him out of Kings Cross, one hand on her father's wheelchair, which her mother was pushing. They arrived at the van and Hazel opened the door. There was a ramp and a big empty space where the seat had been removed with slits in the floor for her father's wheelchair. Hazel pushed it up the ramp and locked it securely into place while her mother positioned herself behind the wheel. Hazel sat next to Adam in the back seat.
"My teacher's a meanie poo." Adam said, scrunching up his nose.
"Oh?" Hazel asked, looking at him in a surprised fashion, feigning sorrow.
"Yes." Adam agreed, nodding his little head. His blue eyes were wide open as he looked up at his big sister and told about how his teacher was a 'meanie poop head.'
"She doesn't give me candy. The other teachers give out candy, but not her. And she's old. And ugly. And she keeps us in at recess to do maths." Adam said, crossing his arms across his narrow chest and pouting, his lower lip jutting forward.
"Well, I'll give you some candy when we get home. How about I cook you a special dinner tonight?" Hazel asked. Adam was immediately distracted from his teacher at the prospects of a special dinner.
"What will you make?" He asked, his eyes widening more.
"It'll be a surprise." Hazel said, without the faintest idea of what she would make.
"And dessert too?" Adam asked.
"Yes, dessert too of course." Hazel said. "Dessert is the best part of the meal." She told him. He nodded sagely in agreement. Hazel refrained from laughing at the serious expression on her little brother's face.
"Yes, dessert is the best. But not when it's peach cobbler. I do not like peach cobbler." Adam said, shaking his head.
"Oh?" Hazel asked again, he kept surprising her.
"Not at all." Adam repeated.
"What do you like?" Hazel asked.
"Not spinach." Adam told her.
"What is your favorite food?" Hazel asked him.
"Definitely not spinach." Adam added.
"Really. No spinach. Okay. So what is your favorite food, Adam?" Hazel asked, trying again.
"I like pasta, and pizza, and potatoes, and I like cheese, and peanut butter, and I like corn." Adam told her.
"Is that all?" Hazel asked him.
"No, I like chicken nuggets, french fries, and hot dogs." He said after reflecting for a moment.
"I see" said Hazel, already planning out her dinner based on this information. Hazel chatted about Adam's favorites for a little while longer. His favorite game was hide and go seek, and his favorite toy was a stuffed animal named Fetch. He explained, when questioned about the origin of this name, that all dogs were named fetch.
"They are?" Hazel asked him.
"Yes. Haven't you ever been to a park with dogs in it, silly?" Adam asked her.
"Of course." Hazel told him.
"Well then you know that everyone always says Go, Fetch!" Adam explained. "Because all dogs are named Fetch, so they are always telling Fetch to go. I don't think that people like their dogs very much. Fetch always comes back though." Adam told her. Hazel could not hold back her laughter after this pronouncement.
"Yes, that's a very good job noticing that Adam. You're right, all dogs are named Fetch." Hazel told him. He beamed under her praise. "I'll cook dinner tonight, mamma." Hazel offered as they arrived at the apartment. She pushed her dad up the ramp that had been stretched over the stairs just for him. They had a ground floor apartment that they rented mostly because of it's convenience for Hazel's father. They had had to sell their old apartment to pay for his medical bills when he first got sick. And since he was no longer working the only income they had was from her mom, so they had not purchased an apartment yet.
The fact that it was on the first floor was about all that could be said for the shabby, two bedroom, one bathroom flat. There was a small kitchen and a living/eating area. There were two bedrooms and a bathroom all connected to the main room. It was small and cramped and allowed for little privacy.
"Thank you dear." Mrs. Brooks replied, smiling at her daughter, grateful to have her home. Hazel cooked the dinner of pasta, salad, and the break and bake type of bread that you put in the oven for 15 minutes. She had a dessert of ice cream. It was a simple meal that was quick and took little effort, but Adam was thrilled. Hazel set the table and then cleared up afterwards. Then she watched a movie on the tellie with her family that night. The signal was not very good, and kept breaking up in the dramatic scenes. And the movie was in black and white. Hazel went to bed early that night, having nothing else to do. She was glad to be home, of course, but she couldn't keep her mind from wandering to Hogwarts and Lily and, much to her dismay, Sirius.
The next day Hazel woke up early and left the room she was sharing with Adam quietly, so as not to disturb him. She went in to the living area and started doing her homework. She got a lot of it done in the morning. She was glad to have it out of the way, although that did mean that she would have to search for other things to occupy her time. Her mom woke up later and Hazel started cooking breakfast. She brought her mom coffee and Mrs. Brooks sat their sipping it for a few minutes.
"Baby, I have to go to work! I'm almost late as it is. I'll be home late, I'm not sure what time, but there's food in the fridge, and you can take Adam out later on if you like. If not entertain yourselves here however you want." Mrs. Brooks said, taking another sip of her coffee and leaving the apartment. She shut the door behind her a little more forcefully than Hazel would have liked, considering the sleeping occupants of the apartment, but no one stirred from the bedrooms.
Hazel had the bacon fried and the eggs scrambled by the time her brother emerged from his room. Her father rarely left bed, and Hazel doubted that he would for some time. His meeting her at the train station had been over exerting himself as it was. Hazel fixed up a plate of food and poured a mug of coffee. She brought it to her dad on a tray, knocking lightly on the door.
"Morning dadda. I have breakfast for you." Hazel said, smiling.
"Thank you baby. Can you leave it on the dresser?" He asked. She did so. Glancing down at the dresser she saw a framed picture of herself at the age Adam was now, and a picture that she had probably drawn in school at some point. It had herself holding hands with her dad and her mom, walking in a park. It had been drawn before Adam was born and before her dad had lost the ability to walk. She sighed and looked at the other photo, the photo of Adam. They looked a lot alike, Adam and herself. Hazel left the room with little hope that her dad would actually eat anything, but at least it would be there if he wanted it.
Hazel had cleared the breakfast dishes and had Adam occupied drawing pictures in crayon at the kitchen table.
"Adam, do you want to go down to the park?" Hazel asked, desperate to leave the house.
"No." Adam replied.
"Please Adam? We can bring Fetch." She coaxed.
"Okay then, I'll go ask Fetch." Adam said reluctantly, heaving himself from the table and running to their bedroom where he found Fetch eager to go on a walk.
"Dadda? Adam and I are going out for a while." Hazel said, swallowing as she entered his bedroom. She did not really like the stuffy, sickly air of the place. She noticed that the breakfast had not been touched.
"Okay. Have a nice time." Mr. Brooks replied, only half paying attention. He was not sleeping. he was propped up on the pillows staring at the wall across from him. It must be a boring existence.
"Do you want me to open the shades, dadda?" Hazel asked. He did not answer. She walked over to the window and revealed the street outside. It was not a particularly pleasant view, but nicer than the view of the wall. Her father made no comment. "Well, see you later dadda." Hazel said, leaving the room.
"Let's go, let's go, let's go." Adam chanted, bouncing up and down and pulling at her hand.
"For someone who didn't want to go you certainly seem excited." Hazel commented, grabbing her coat.
"I want to walk Fetch, and introduce him to all the other Fetches." Adam told her.
"Okay, well I'm ready. Have you got a coat? It's cold out there." Hazel told him.
"I'm not cold." Adam told her simply.
"Not now. But you're inside now. When you go outside you will be cold." Hazel told him.
"I don't need a coat." Adam told her.
"Well then I guess we can't go out." Hazel said, pretending to turn around. Adam practically flew to the closet to grab his coat.
"I have my coat, let's go, let's go, let's go." Adam chanted in this vein until they reached the park, two blocks from their apartment. He was tugging on her hand when she made him hold it to cross the street, and then he would run down the sidewalk and wait at the crosswalk for her to catch up. They arrived at the park and Hazel sat on a bench where she could see Adam racing around, chasing pigeons and yelling at Fetch to go.
They stayed at the park until they grew hungry, and then they decided it would be best to go home for lunch. When they arrived home, however, they found that it was almost three o'clock. Hazel quickly fixed them both peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as per Adam's request. She checked on her dad, and found him still sitting and staring at nothing, but this time his gaze was directed towards the window. She was glad that he appreciated the view. Not wanting to disturb him she left with the uneaten tray of breakfast, closing the door behind her. He never said a word. It was as if he were in a trance.
That night Hazel fixed dinner for her and Adam, leaving the leftovers in the fridge for when her mom got home from work. Her mother worked as a nurse in an emergency room, and was gone pretty much around the clock. She did the morning shift and then got a brief break for lunch before returning to work until dinner, at which point she got a briefer break and then worked until after midnight. They were not the best hours, but they needed the money that extra shifts would bring. Usually there was a woman who looked after Adam in the mornings and made sure he got to school and then came back right before he got home from school, but she had been given the holidays off since Hazel was home.
Hazel and Adam watched a movie on the small TV again that night. The signal was still weak, but Hazel had grown used to it. Besides, there was not TV at all at Hogwarts, so she supposed she should be grateful.
In the middle of the program Hazel heard a tapping on the window in the kitchen. She rose and went to the window. Outside there was an owl that Hazel had never seen before. Puzzled, she undid the latch and opened the window, allowing the bird to fly in and deliver its letter. It then sat on the counter, as she read apparently waiting for a reply.
Hazel,
I understand that what I said was rather sudden, and I apologize for it. You're right, we're too young and I rushed things. I shouldn't have launched that on you the way I did. I hate fighting with you though. I with that we could go back to how things were, and I promise I won't say the you know which words again until you're ready. Please forgive me?
Sirius
It was sweet of him to write, but she did not really want to go back to how things were. Her grades were slipping, and the fact that he had said it would still be hanging over her. She would not forget that he had said it, she could not forget that he had said it. How could she handle the kind of pressure that those words put on a person? She did not like the word love- it meant forever and 'til death do us part. Look what a hell that word had trapped her mother in. Hazel did not want to end up like this because of love.
Her father and mother had been high school sweethearts and had gotten married right afterwards. Neither had gone to college, so they had both been forced to work the shabbiest of jobs. But her mother had gone back to school later to become a nurse, so she had worked her way up a little, Hazel supposed. But if they had waited then they would have known that her dad was going to get sick, then maybe her mother would have thought twice before agreeing to a life of working all day to bring home enough money to support her family while her husband lay languidly in bed, unable to walk. Hazel knew that it was hateful to think those kinds of thoughts, but she couldn't help it. That void expression in her father's lifeless eyes had really done something to her.
She shooed the owl away without a response and went to her room. She closed the door and leaned against the wall, reading the letter again before shoving it into her suitcase. 'And that's that, I won't think if it again' Hazel told herself firmly, going back to the film.
This was the routine that Hazel and Adam followed virtually every day. Some days it was too cold to go out, in which case they would play games or draw pictures or read stories. They went to the library once to stock up on books for just such days as this.
Midway through Hazel's visit it snowed, and Hazel and Adam enjoyed playing in the snow. They made snow angels and built a snowman at the park, as they did not have a yard outside their apartment. Sirius's letters became a part of the routine as well. Every night he wrote to her, telling her that he missed her and begging her forgiveness.
His letters did not contain much else, but Hazel knew from Lily's letters that she and Sirius were both at the Potter's house- Lily told her the story of how that had happened and did not sound at all amused. Hazel replied to Lily, of course, telling about her holiday. She did not mention that her mother worked constantly and that her father had not come out of his bed throughout her entire stay. She only filled her letters with chatter about how cute her brother was, and how she couldn't wait to go back to Hogwarts.
Hazel had a suspicion that her letters to Lily were passed on to Sirius, but she found herself not caring at all. Part of her wanted Sirius to know what she was doing and how she was. She now had a collection of letters from him at the bottom of her trunk, all of which she read every night before sleeping. But she never replied to any of the letters that he sent her. She did not know what to say. The only response one could give to letters such as those was the promise of forgiveness and that things could go on as they had been, and Hazel was not ready to write such a letter. In her head, however, she had composed many different letters to Sirius, all of which contained promises of forgiveness.
Hazel did not see her mother very much, save for a few brief moments each morning. The left-overs that Hazel saved from her dinners were always eaten, but Hazel was always asleep when her mom arrived home and never heard her come in.
The only break in the routine occurred on Christmas morning, when Mrs. Brooks had taken the morning shift off, explaining that they could have a family morning and then she would work in the afternoon. There was only one family present, a new film for all of them. Hazel, who had money saved from her work at a day care center over the summer, had bought Andy a new set of crayons and a new book. He was very thrilled by his presents. Christmas was particularly special because her father came out of his room for an hour to watch Andy open presents, and he even joined them at the table for breakfast, although he hardly ate his food.
After that day they went back to the old routine. Hazel was Adam's full time babysitter and the household cook. She was not overly bitter about this, it wasn't as if she had anything else she would rather be doing, but she had imagined her vacation going differently. 'Why? It's always like this, why did you expect this holiday to be different?' Asked the reasonable side of her brain. 'Because, I just hoped, okay? Is dreaming so wrong?' Asked the other side of her mind. 'Yes. Dreamers get disappointed too often.' Replied the sensible but cynical side coldly. Hazel sighed looking towards the window and waiting for the familiar tap of the owl.
Authors note: Sorry if that was a little boring..I liked writing about her brother though...haha little kids are so fun to write conversations with. Anyway, next we get to sneak a peek at what's happening in the Potter household. Read and Review! And you know what I've noticed? All of my chapters for the past few have been exactly ten pages long. Isn't that odd? Unintentional I swear. Anyway, RR.