Chapter 20

Christmas With The Potters

While Sirius and James talked and laughed about the situation, Lily moped. Lily could not believe his nerve.

"How dare he?" She fumed out loud, pacing back and forth across the room.

"You know, talking to yourself is the first sign if insanity," said James, standing in her doorway. Lily flung him a distainful and hauty glance that cut him down like the dog he was- or at least that was what she had intended it to do- and then resumed her pacing.

"Look, Lil, I'm sorry." James told her, following Sirius's advice and apologizing. Lily still did not reply. James walked toward her but she struck out at him violently. He back up a pace, looking at her warily. He closed the door softly so that if there was yelling, as he expected there would be, it would not carry too far. He approached again, ignoring her flailing arms, and managed to catch her wrist in one of his hands.

"Let me go, Potter." Lily spat at him, struggling to free herself.

"See, there you go calling me Potter again." James told her, sshaking his head. Was that amusement Lily saw twinkling in his eyes? Was he laughing at her? Well, he would not enjoy her annoyance for very much longer. James put his free hand on her shoulder, attempting to make her stay still.

"Go away." She said, struggling against him to no avail.

"No. I'm sorry, okay?" James asked.

"You don't look it." Lily snarled at him, turning quickly and managing to free herself from his grip. She stepped away from him quickly, but found herself with her back to a corner.

"Lily." James said, stepping closer. Lily stepped back, closer to the wall. "Lils." James said, taking another step forward. Lily countered his movement by stepping back. One more step and she would have nowhere to go. That and his steps were longer than hers. "Lil." James said, stepping. This was it, last step. Lily hoped that he had no more nicknames. She was now backed into the corner withnowhere else to go except right at James. "Moonshine." He cooed, stepping forwards again. Now he was right in front of her and the had nowhere to go. He had called her Moonshine again. Lily could not remember how long it had been since she had heard that name cross his lips. The memories conjured by that name were too much...

"James, go away." Lily said again, with less force this time.

"You called me James, that's a start." James said, encouraged.

"Potter, go away." Lily corrected.

"Not until you let me appologize properly." He countered.

"If by 'appologize properly' you mean snog me, then you have another think coming, Potter." Lily told him angrily.

"Look, I'm sorry, please accept my appology? I don't want you to be mad at me." James told her.

"What are you sorry for?" She asked him. James looked a little surprised and was obviously not prepared for that question.

"Pardon?" He asked.

"What are you sorry for." Lily said again.

"I'm sorry for not asking you if you wanted to come before having your mom agree to it. I'm sorry for lying to your mom. I'm sorry for embarassing you in front of my mom. I'm sorry for" James tried to think of what it was Sirius had told him he had done, but it was all escaping him now. "I'm sorry for being an arrogant prat, and for ruining your mom's memory." James said, fishing. Manipulative, that had been the word. "I'm sorry for manipulating you into coming here against your will." James said. There had been something else, hadn't there? Something else that she was mad about? What was it! "I'm sorry for acting like I could just have whatever I want. And lastly, I'm very sorry for not thinking about your feelings first." James told her, confident that he had remembered everything.

"Yes, that is about all I'm mad at you for." Lily admitted, the fire in her eyes seemed to dim a little, but James could not be sure. "You can leave me alone now, Potter." 'Oh no, what did I do wrong this time? Why is she still calling me Potter?' James thought desperately.

"So-so you don't accept my appology?" James asked.

"You think that after you did all that I would just accept your appology?" Lily asked.

"Well...yes. I had hoped so at least." James said.

"Well, you were wrong Potter. I'm not just going to leap into your arms and sob over the loss of my mother this time. Those days are over. I'm glad you're sorry, but you don't get another chance." Lily told him.

"No more chances?" James asked, horrified. What had he done? "Please?" He asked.

"Certainly not." Lily told him.

"Just one more?" James begged. He got onto his knees. "Please, please forgive me. I'm so sorry, and I'll be your humble servant forever if you'll forgive me my many faults."

"Many being an opperative word. And I would love to see you as a humble anything." Lily told him, looking away. "James, you're doing it again." She warned him.

"Doing what?" He asked, standing, seeing that it was no use. "Acting like you can get whatever you want just by looking at me with those big brown eyes. And by not thinking about the position that you're putting me in. You're making me be the bad guy." Lily told him.

"I'm not making you do anything, you're being the bad guy all by yourself." James told her. He knew afterwards that he shouldn't have said it, but it had just slipped out.

"You're trying to make me forgive you, which I can't do. You're making me forgive you or be the bad guy. I don't want to do either, Potter, but you leave me no choice. You only think about yourself, and it's got to stop." Lily told him.

"But you won't give me a chance to stop." James told her.

"Because even if I did you wouldn't!" Lily told him.

"How do you know that?" James asked her.

"Well, if you look back in the past we can see that you obviously only ever think about yourself. Take today as an example." Lily told him.

"But you used to forgive me." James told her.

"You didn't use to mess up this often. You've really changed, Potter. You used to be nice, now you're a show-off." Lily told him. James was hurt by that comment.

"That's not true, Lily. Please don't say that. And even if I am different, so are you. People change, that's not my fault. You aren't even giving the new James a chance to prove himself." James told her.

"That's because the old James-"

"Exaclty, the old James. You've said it yourself, two different Jameses. I've changed. So how do you know that this James won't be different?" James asked her.

"Because the old James-"

"See, you've said it again. You've proved that I have changed, and that there is a distinct new James and old James, but you won't give the new James a chance because of what the old James did, even though they are different people. You see? You're being prejudice against the new James." James told her.

"You are aware that you're speaking about yourself in the third person and describing yourself as two different people, right?" Lily asked him.

"Yes." James told her. "No." He corrected. "I mean...what's the question?" James asked.

"Never mind." Lily told him.

"Please, Lily. Give the new me a chance." James beseeched.

"Okay, fine. But the new James has a lot of explaining to do about why he betrayed my trust." Lily told him.

"Okay. And guess what. The new James is not even going to ask you for a snog." James told her proudly.

"Good." Lily told him. She ducked under his arm and ran to the bed. She sat on the edge and gestured towards her. "So, tell me why you told your mom about my dad and then told me that they weren't asking because they were such nice people." James, who had just sat down next to her, began to shift his weight uneasily.

"Well, you see, they were asking a lot of questions and I thought it would be easier if I just...you know, told them everything." James explained.

"And you didn't think it was a good idea to tell me that you made this unilateral descion about my secrets because..." Lily said, leaving him to fill in the blank. James did not like the words she was using or the tone she was using them in.

"Well, you see, that was the old me, remember that. And the old me thought that you didn't really need to talk about that any more. So the old me was just sort of protecting you from all the questioning and all the talking." James told her.

"Too bad the new James isn't a bit more like the old one. I think I fancied him better. He didn't talk in circles and act so shifty. He didn't always seem like he was trying to hide something." Lily told him.

"The new me, I mean, I am not hiding anything. Well, nothing important." James corrected, thinking of his activities during every full moon and his escapades in Hogsmede. And the jinxes on the Slytherins that Lily did not know about. But that was really it. "And I'm not shifty."

"Oh really? Look me in the eye and tell me that." Lily instructed. James looked, but remained silent and then looked away. He didn't want to lie to her. She would find out and be mad at him all over again. And who knew if she would give another next chance. He really didn't know how many lives he had left. But on the other hand he simply could not tell her. He couldn't. Maybe he could tell her a partial truth? But no, Lily held partial truths as equals with lies. What to do?

"Okay James, keep your secrets. I don't care." Lily told him, and she genuinely didn't seem to care. James didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. On the one hand that could mean that she didn't care enough about him to care. Or it could mean that she was so wildly in love with him that she didn't care how many secrets he had. Or it could mean that she had simply given up. Or it could also mean that she really did care and was trying to be accepting of that and was trying to give him time. James did not know, although he felt that it was safe to rule out the wildly in love option. And knowing Lily the way he did, he felt it was also safe to eliminate the giving up option. She was not the quitting type. Lily looked at him expectantly, as if waiting for him to say something, but he did not know what to say. Why was she so demanding? She was impossible to please. Lily let out a loud sigh.

"Was there something else you wanted?" She asked at last, looking at him with a very curious expression on her face. James did not know what to make of her. Was it anger, irritation, annoyance, frustration, or just disappointment? He could not tell. Perhaps Sirius would have some insight.

"No, nothing at all." James said at last, exiting the room. As soon as the door had closed, Lily collapsed on her bed. She wanted to like him, it would make things so much simpler for her. He obviously was still infatuated with her, which was flattering considering that he was probably the most popular guy in Hogwarts, but she could not get past his bullying, or his ego. Last year she had thought she could get past it and overcome that, but he was different this year. When they were alone she saw flashes of the old James, but it seemed that whenever he was in a group he was desperately trying to show off and save face with his friends. She sighed again, running her fingers through her hair. It would make everything so much simpler if he would stop paying attention to her the way he did. Although, she had to admit that if she were perfectly honest with herself she had grown accustomed to his flattery and flirtations. She had almost grown to expect them, and was sad when they did not come. It was all too confusing. Maybe she should just tell Holly to seduce him and stop worrying about him altogether. It was too bad that he had a sensitive side. It would be much eaier to hate him if he were always an arrogant prat. Lily, tired of contemplating her feelings, decided to write a letter to Hazel, explaining the situation that Potter's stupidity had put her in.

Lily stayed in her room for as long as possible. She had to emerge for dinner as a curtosy, and sat politely and participated in the conversation, if minimally. She was very stiff and sat with a ramrod straight back, smiling only slightly and not laughing. She never looked at James, and only glanced at Sirius. She did, however, mean to talk to him about Hazel.

After the meal she went straight back to her bedroom and did not reply to the knocks on the door later in the evening. She heard James and Sirius asking her to play at cards or pool, but she pretneded to be sleeping and they soon abandoned their attempts. The next morning she did not come out of her room and managed to avoid all human contact until mid afternoon.

"Lily?" Lily recognized Anne's voice, and opened the door. "Oh, you're awake. We had grown worried about you. We thought maybe you were ill. You were so quiet at dinner and then you went to bed so early..." Anne said, looking concernedly at Lily.

"Oh, well yes, I did feel a bit peeky." Lily told her, smiling a little. It was, of course, not true. She felt in perfect health, she was just irate and upset. She was supposed to be with her family right now. They needed her. But instead, thanks to Potter and his arrogance and his refusal to think of anyone besides himself, she was instead at the Potter's. She liked Mr. and Mrs. Potter, she just did not want to be here, and did not want to be with James. "Are you feeling okay now?" Anne asked, placing her hand on Lily' forehead.

"Oh, yes. I feel fine." Lily told her.

"Well, you don't feel warm." Anne admitted, withdrawing her hand. "Would you like to talk about anything? Your father?" Anne suggested.

"No, thank you." Lily said, knowing that she was sounding distant, but unable to do anything about it.

"Well, you know that if you deside you need anything, dear, I'll be only too willing to talk." Anne told her, smiling a motherly smile.

"Of course, thank you." Lily said, smiling again. She doubted that she would want to talk any time in the future. What she really wanted was to analyze her feelings for James, but she somehow did not think that Anne would be the optimum person to discuss that with. So instead she made her excuses and withdrew into the solace of her room. She had not drawn the curtains, so she was sitting in the gloom on her unmade bed, not doing aything.

She decided that perhaps she should take a shower, and so she moved from sitting in the dark on her bed to sitting in the half light of the bathroom with water pounding on her back. She did not know why she felt so sad. She wanted to say that it was her mother's mental breakdown, but she knew that wasn't completely it. She could not identify the emotion. She just felt rather tired and fatigued and disgruntled with life. The year was not turning out the way she had anticipated.

Lily again went down to dinner and sat mostly in silence throughout the meal. After the meal she drew Sirius aside. She wanted to talk to him about Hazel. They walked to his bedroom, closing the door before James could catch up or ask where they were going. "What's up?" Sirius asked her, siting cross legged on his bed and brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Hazel. You told her you loved her?" Lily asked. She was sure that she saw Sirius blushing. He never blushed. He was always cool and alooof and confident. He never blushed. He was above embarassment. Everything he did was, in his eyes, perfect, and nothing would merrit embarassment. So why was he suddenly self conscious?

"Yes." He said at last, almost whispering.

"Why?" Lily asked, confused. There was no doubt that he had some alterior motive. She liked Sirius, they were becoming friends, but she did not think of him as the steady, loving type.

"I hadn't really thought of saying out loud. If just sort of came out. It wasn't a plan or anything." Sirius told her uncomfortably.

"So...you love her?" Lily asked incredulously.

"I think I do." Sirius admitted, surprising even himself.

"And what are you going to do about it?" Lily asked him curiously.

"The same thing James did?" Sirius suggested.

"What does that mean?" Lil asked him.

"Well, when James decided that he loved you, he never stopped did he? He hasn't given up yet. Very persistant, that one. So I suppose I'll just wait around until Hazel comes around. Only thing I can do." Sirius told her. Lily nodded, not really thinking about the last part of what he had said. She now had something else to dwell upon while she was cooped up alone in her room. James loved her? Impossible. If he did then he wouldn't be such an arrogant prat. But..on the other hand, he was very persistant. And always there. But, she argued with herself, if he loved me, then why does he date so many other girls all the time? Get out of that one, Potter! Lily challenged her mind, before realizing that he could not read her thoughts, and that even if he could he was not there.

Almost in a trance she walked down the hall to her bedroom and shut the door, crawling into bed. She woke up a few hours later and wrote to Hazel. She didn't mention James, she instead filled her letter with questions about Hazel's holiday. She did not mention her conversation with Sirius either, wanting to keep his confidence a private matter.

Lily followed pretty much this same pattern every day, although as the days passed she started to come out of her room earlier and spending time with Anne. She almost managed to convince herself that it was summer again and they were having the companiable chats and gossips that they had had four months previously. Almost. She also started to do homework in the afternoons, rather than sleeping all day and staring into space.

One day, nearing the end of her first week, the subject of the Rupert's party was breached. Lily, thus far, had successfully avoided speaking to James almost completely. She had been forced to ask him to pass the salt one night, and said excuse me on one other occasion. But other than that sshe had frozen him out completely. "So, Lily, I assume you did not bring any dress robes back from Hogwarts?" Anne asked her.

"Well, at the time I was unaware that there would be a party." Lily reminded her.

"Of course. Well, you can borrow some of my robes, or we can go shopping." Anne suggested.

"I don't know if I'll even go to the party." Lily told her. Anne pulled a horrified face. "I mean, I'm still feeling a little ill." Lily told her.

"Of course you'll go to the party. James will be your escort. I know you two are in a bit of a tiff at the moment, but it's nothing that won't work itself out." Anne reassured her. "You two are such a cute couple."

"Anne, we're not-" Lily told started to tell her, but was cut off. "I know, I know, you two are taking a bit of a break at the moment, James told me. But I'm sure that you two will make nice sooner or later. He's really sorry for whatever it is he did, you know, Lily. He didn't say exactly what it was, but he is sorry. I can always tell. And I always say that there's nothing like a good party to make your blues melt away. Well, actually, that's the first time I've ever said that. But you get the idea. So of course you two will go together, no questions. I think that you should buy a new dress." Anne told her. Throughout this speak Lily was making spluttering noises and trying to protest, but she could not get a word in edgewise. At the mention of buying a new dress, Lily looked down and blushed.

"I can't buy a new dress. Perhaps I should just borrow one of your dress robes." Lily said hesitantly.

"Don't be silly, everyone should wear a new dress." Anne told her. "You don't want to wear one of my old things."

"I'm sure they're lovely. I love all of you're clothes." Lily told her sincerely.

"That's very kind of you, but they probably wouldn't even fit. You're much taller than me." Anne told her. She had a point. Lily was a few inches taller than Anne at least. Lily sighed.

"I really cannot buy a new dress." Lily impressed upon her.

"Why ever not?" Anne asked her.

"Because I don'thaveanymoney." Lily told her quickly, slurring the words together.

"What was that dear?" Anne asked, not having been able to disipher the unintelligible words.

"I don't have the money," Lily said more slowly, looking down bashfully.

"Oh!" Anne said, gasping with comprehension. "Well why didn't you say something? That's not problem at all. I can pay for it, dear." Anne said, laughing a little.

"No, you most certainly will not buy me a dress." Lily told her.

"Don't be silly." Anne told her lightly.

"I won't accept it, and I won't wear it." Lily told her.

"Well, in that case I suppose you'd best borrow one of my old things." Anne said with a sigh. Lily agreed and they made arrangements to go through Anne's wardrobe later that day. Anne then excused herself, saying that she had to Floo someone. Lily returned to the sanctuary of her bedroom and found her owl waiting for her with a letter from Hazel.

Dear Lily, Thanks for your letters. James is an idiotic prat, just forget about it. I'm sure that your mother and sister will be fine. If they're not, then next break you can come to my house. Not that you would really want to. Nothing terribly exciting happens here...ever. All I do is go to the park with my brother. It snowed though, so that's fun. There's not really much else to tell, besides of course happy Christmas. Well, I hope you have a good holdiay, Hazel

Lily re-read her letter, searching for any hint of her feelings towards Sirius, but there was none. She also looked for what Hazel was really thinking, about James, about her holidays, about anything, but the letter was completly void of all emotion. Lily put the letter in her bag and flopped onto the bed. Later in the afternoon, Lily went to Anne's bedroom and tapped on the door.

"Lily, perfect timing." Anne said. Lily noticed a large, rectangular parcel on her bed. It appeared to be unopened.

"What's that?" Lily asked, eyeing the parcel suspisciously.

"Oh, it's one of my old dress robes that I just pulled out of the attic." Anne told her with a jovial wave of her hand. "I think it should fit you." Anne added, untying the ribbon on the package. Lily gasped at the dress inside was revealed. It was a deep emerald green, almost exactly the shade of her eyes. It had a narrow waiste and looked to be floor length. Lily knew at once that it would never fit Anne, it would be far too long. The dress had a low V neckline, and little diamonds on the edge of the neck. "Do you like it?" Anne asked.

"It's beautiful, Anne, but..." Lily started, but could not find the words.

"What? What's wrong? Is it the color? The length? It's too simple, isn't it? I told him that he should find something flashier..."

"No, it's perfect, I love it. But, Anne, this never would have fit you. It's brand new too. This has never been worn." Lily observed, taking the fabric in her hands and feeling the softness of it.

"Well, no. I had it made, but it was too long so I never wore it." Anne told her, not meeting her eyes.

"You bought me a new dress, didn't you?" Lily demanded.

"All right, fine, I did." Anne confessed.

"Anne!" Lily protested. "You should not have done that. This must have been really expensive. We need to return it." Lily told her.

"We can't, it's nonrefundable." Anne told her. Lily opened and closed her mouth like a fish, trying to find another argument.

"I can't wear this." She said at last. "I can't pay for this."

"Don't be silly, you don't have to pay for it." Anne told her. "It's the least I could do for James's girlfriend." Anne added with a wink.

"But I'm not James's girlfriend!" Lily said, raising her voice. Why did everyone insist on thinking that? Why had he had to kiss her and hold her hand and all that? Anne just nodded and smiled knowingly.

"Well, try it on. Let's see how it looks." Anne shooed her into her massive closet so that she could try the dress on. It fit perfectly, but Lily was not sure that she felt comfortable wearing something so low and...revealing. She had to admit though, after seeing herself in the mirror, she looked hott. Lily emerged from the closet in the dress, smiling a little despite herself. "Wow, Lily, it fits perfectly!" Anne exclaimed, motioning with her finger for Lily to turn in a circle. Lily did, beaming now. She couldn't help but feel pleased.

"Well, I'll have no more arguments, you have to have that dress." Anne told her. Lily did not argue anymore as she changed out of the dress and brought it back to her room.

The big night was in three days, but Lily could not deny her excitement anymore, even if she would have to go with James. She would be able to find Caroline the moment they arrived and escape any contact with him.

This plan, however, failed. The moment they arrived, after Lily had scanned the already large crowd for any sign of Caroline,she found her on the dance floor with Ben. This put a slight glitch in her plans. But perhaps Alice was here. Lily found Alice soon after, dancing with Frank. She siged, resigning herself to he inevidible. She would probably have to dance at least once with James. Anne and Mr. Potter had already disappeared to dance or find friends, Lily did not know which, leaving Sirius James and herself to do as they pleased.

James had already told her how beautiful she looked, Lily had ignored him, so there was no real topic for discussion. "Well, would you like to dance?" James asked lamely, looking nervously at Lily, obviously afraid she would become angry.

"No." She replied shortly, looking away.

"I thought you told me you forgave me." James told her. When Lily looked at him out of the corner of her eyes, she saw that he was pouting slightly. It almost made her want to laugh, the expression on his face.

"I lied." Lily told him, starting to walk away, but James followed her, Sirius trailing in his wake. Seeing that she would not be able to escape James, she turned to Sirius. "Would you like to dance, Sirius?" Lily asked him. Sirius looked extremely confused and did not know how to reply. If he said yes, James would be mad. But if he said no, James would be mad that he had rejected lily, and Lily would be mad that he had rejected her. Weighing his options, the only choice was to say yes.

"Er...sure." He said, James glared at him angrily, but said nothing. Sirius led Lily onto the dance floor. The band was playing a waltz, so he put his hand around her back and took her other hand in his.

"What was that?" He asked as Lily gazed at the floor, concentrating on the dance steps.

"What?" Lily asked. "Oh, you mean asking you to dance?" Lily asked, smiling a little.

"Yes." Sirius confirmed.

"I needed to get rid of James." Lily explained.

"Why?" Sirius asked.

"Er, because I hate him? Because he's an arrogant prat?" Lily asked, stepping on Sirius's foot and looking back at the floor.

"Just let me lead!" Sirius told her in exasperation as she stepped on his foot again.

"Sorry, I'm not very good at dancing." Lily told him.

"I noticed." Sirius muttered. "Okay, stop being a control freak and just let me lead." Sirius told her, tightening his grip on her waist and pulling her closer. They started out going slowly, and then once Lily got the hang of it they began to keep time with the music. "Very good." SIrius observed after the went for a whole song without Lily stepping on him once.

"Thanks" Lily said, slightly flushed and smiling. "It's because I had such a great teacher." She told him, smiling. "So why are you such a good dancer, anyway?" Lily asked as they took their positions for the next song.

"My parents thought that all gentlemen should know how to dance." Sirius explained.

"I repeat, why are you a good dancer?" Lily asked. Sirius laughed after thinking about what she had said for a moment.

"Because my parents thought that all pure blooded wizards should be gentlemen." He told her.

"So did you have to take all kinds of dancing lessons?" Lily asked him, laughing. She could now dance and talk at the same time, and was able to look at Sirius rather than the floor.

"Of course I did. They made me take piano too, at one point." Sirius added, laughing a little.

"They did? You play piano? I never knew that." Lily told him, following his lead and stepping backwards. She fumbled slightly, but only for a moment, Sirius kept her on balance.

"Oh, no. I don't play the piano. I said they made me take lessons at one point. The teacher quit eventually, they all did. It didn't take long to convince them that I had no musical talent whatsoever, and that I was too much trouble to be worth teaching." Sirius told her.

"What did you do?" Lily asked, a mixture of being amused and horrified.

"Oh, the usual. Banged really loud on the keys. When I really didn't like the teacher I would leave mice and rats in the music room. I would put pine cones on their seats, tamper with the keys so that they were all out of tune and then close the lid of the piano on their heads when they looked inside the piano, that type of thing." Sirius told her. Lily laughed.

"Your poor teachers! That must have been awful for them." Lily said.

"Well, yes I suppose. But not as awful as the lesons were for me." Sirius told her sheepishly.

"What did your parents do?" Lily asked him in an almost whisper.

"Got extremely mad, locked me in my room, didn't let me eat meals for a few days, and eventually got over it." Sirius told her off handedly. Lily did not reply, there was a look of piy in her eyes. She did not know what to say, there was nothing to say. She looked down at the floor again, concentrating on the steps. "Stop looking down, it makes you mess up. Look here, right in my eyes." Sirius told her.

"Okay." She said, complying. She tripped a little, but SIrius's hand on her back held her upright and kept her moving in time with the music.

"I think I know someone else who wants to dance with you." Sirius told her pointedly, glancing over her shoulder to where James was standing by the drinks, looking murderously at Sirius. "Don't you think it's time you two made up?" Sirius asked.

"No." Lily said shortly, frowning, her brow furrowed.

"Why not?" Sirius asked her. "He's crazy over you, you know." Sirius reminded her. Lily sighed.

"Why? Why can't he just like someone else?" Lily asked.

"I don't know. I don't even think he knows." Sirius told her.

"Well it's stupid and he should get over it, because there's never going to be anything there." Lily informed him irritably.

"Isn't there?" Sirius asked mildly, causing Lily to look at him more closely. His face revealed nothing.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lily asked sharply.

"Nothing very important. Just that we already know that you two make a good couple, why never again?" Sirius asked. Lily did not have an answer to that, although she did tell herself that it was because this James was different, and she didn't like the change. He had grown too big headed. They danced for a while without speaking, Lily staring at a point on the cieling. "Look, Lily, I see a table of food over there, so I'm going to go scope it out." Sirius said at last, stepping away from her and releasing her.

"Oh, right. Okay." Lily said as she watched him leave. She had known that they would not be able to dance for the entire night, of course, but she had hoped that she would be able to avoid James a little longer.

"May I have this dance?" Asked James from behind her.

"No." Lily replied shortly.

"Oh, come on Lily." James entreated. "Moonshine?" James asked. Lily, who had been walking away, turned sharply on her heel to face him, her eyes flaming and her lips pursed.

"Don't call me that." She ordered, turning to leave again.

"Why not? You used to let me call you that." James commented, catching her wrist in his hand and pulling her back towards him. "Lily, please don't make this a big row. Just one dance?" James asked. Lily did not reply, although they did begin dancing. She barely even touched his shoulder, and she did not look in his eyes.

"I used to do a lot of things. Things have changed." Lily observed.

'Like what?" James asked.

"Like you," Lily told him.

"You always say that, but it's not true. I'm the same James now that I always was." James told her.

"No, Potter, you aren't. The old James was considerate, and thought of people other than himself. This you," she refused to say his name, "is mean, bullies younger students just because he's a Slytherin, thinks that because he's some quiddich star he has the right to walk all over people and get what he wants." Lily told him.

"Lily, I don't do all that." James told her, horrified.

"I've seen you Potter. Don't lie to me. I've seen you hexing people, don't think I haven't. And that snake incedent? You didn't even stop and consider the ramifications." Lily told him, pulling her hand away.

"Is that all this is about?" James asked her.

"Of course that's not all this is about. Go away Potter, I don't feel like dancing anymore." Lily told him, walking off the dance floor.

She disappeared in the crowd and managed to escape James, who had begun to follow her. She looked around the dance floor from her position next to the punch table and saw a few girls who she recognized by sight as Hogwarts students a few years below her in Ravenclaw. Most of the party
were adults, however. Lily spotted Sirius looking very uncomfortable, cornered by some of the girls she had seen, all of whom were sighing and flicking their hair, beaming at Sirius. They were obviously, much like most of the girls at Hogwarts, completely infatuated with him. Lily saw James join Sirius, accompanied by his own pack of followers. He rumpled his hair to make it look windswept, something he had been doing more and more frequently, smiling at the girls who her giggling at him.

'He's so obvious. He loves the attention. His ego is so huge.' Lily thought to herself, snorting and looking away. 'I hope that they have fun with him.'
Lily thought derisively. A moment later, when she looked back, she saw that James was dancing with one of his many admirers, as was Sirius. She was not surprised to see that they were both enjoying the attention imensely.

In the recent weeks James and Sirius had become mini icons at Hogwarts. Their little group of friends, which included Sirius, James, Reums, and Peter, were referred to as the Marauders of Hogwarts. They were known for their pranks on teachers and students alike. Needless to say, Lily absolutely hated it. Their nicknames for each other were known by everyone, Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail. Lily still did not understand the nicknames, and she really did not care any more. She had never expected it of Remus, but he was as big a part of the pranks as the others were. And he was a prefect too! They had emerged as the leaders for Gryffindor in the raging war between Gryffindor and Slytherin. The snake was merely one of
the many things they had done.

They had once, during a potions class, mixed a dye into all of the Slytherin ingredients. The Slytherins had all recieved bad grades for their potions work because Professor Inkbeat had thought that they had been doing to work wrong. During a defense against the dark arts lesson, they had caused the inkpots of the Slytherin students to explode, showering them with
ink. In Herbology they had been repotting mandrakes when James and Sirius had caused the earmuffs of a few select Slytherins (Severus, Lucious, and Antonin) to disappear. Fortunately the mandrakes were young, so they had only been knocked out for a few hours, but it had been foolish and dangerous.

There were also the things that occured outside of classes, such as bewitching suit of armor to sing rude songs which prominently featured rude sayings about Slytherins. They had also charmed the plates at the
Slytherin tables to fly out of reach of the Sltherin students every time that they went to take a bite of food. Most of the house found these things terribly amusing, and laughed uproariously every time any of the marauders entered a room, but Lily on the other hand found these pranks stupid and irritating. The marauders were the heroes of Gryffindor tower.

James was a hero in the quiddich world too. There was nothing they could not have, nothing they could not do. It was really no surprise that they had big egos. Lily could hardly blame them, really. But that did not change the fact that they were arrogant and stupid.

Lily managed to avoid James for the rest of the evening. She did not get a chance to really talk to Caroline. She saw her briefly, and Caroline had expressed her surprise at seeing Lily, but then she had been dragged away to take family pictures. Lily had spotted Alice, but Alice did not see her. It was a big party, after all.

"Would you like to dance?" asked a deep voice from her left somewhere. It was neither James nor Sirius, so Lily felt it was safe to turn. It was Cooper Daniels, the Ravenclaw quiddich captain and chaser. He was very handsome, tall, very tall, much taller than Lily, and had dark eyes and hair. He smiled, Lily returned the smile warmly. She had always liked Cooper Daniels. Well, she liked the little she knew about him.

"Sure." She said, taking his hand. "But I'll warn you now, I'm not a very good dancer," she told him.

"I'm sure you're an excellent dancer," he assured her. He led her onto the dance floor, and she was greatful for Sirius's lessons as soon as they began dancing. She let him lead and the dancing steps came easily. They talked amiably about school, lessons, and professors. Professor Tonks was his favorite teacher, but care of magical creatures was his favorite class. Apparently he had actually managed to touch a unicorn, a rarity for males, which had made him decide to like the subject after all. Professor Kettleburn was a close second for favorite teacher.

Lily, when asked, told him that professor Inkbeat used to be her favorite teacher, but the tension between the two houses had ruined her relationship with her. She said that she also liked professor Tonks, but that professor Binns was her favorite teacher. She said that she loved history of magic and
was taking it as an additional elective class, not for her NEWT requirement.

"You like Binns? But he's so old." Cooper said, pulling an expression of disgust.

"He's not that old, and I love the subject matter." Lily explained. "Besides, Kettleburn is not exactly spritely." Lily reminded him.

"That's true, but he only seems old because of that accident." Cooper told her. "He's not actually that old."

"I felt so badly for him when I heard about his arm. It's too bad. How does he manage to keep teaching with only one arm?" Lily asked.

"Well, he sort of hangs back from the animals and lets Hagrid take his classes when he's dealing with the more dangerous animals. Hagrid loves dangerous animals." Cooper explained.

"I don't know Hagrid that well. When I first came to Hogwarts I was so scared of him, and then there was never really occasion to go down and meet him, so I don't think I've ever really spoken to him." Lily told Cooper regretfully.

"Really? I'll take you down to meet him sometime when we go back to school." Cooper offered. "He's a really nice guy, even if he is a bit big." Cooper told her.

"Why is he so big like that?" Lily asked.

"I don't know, I always assumed that he got on the bad end of an enlargement spell or something. Maybe he just has big bones." Cooper told her. Lily smiled at him. This was nice, talking to him like this. "But I wouldn't ask if I were you, I think it's somewhat of a sore point with him. He doesn't talk about it much."

"So, Lily, why are you here? I thought that you would be going back to the muggle world for the holidays." Cooper told her.

"I'm staying with the Potters." Lily mumbled darkly.

"Oh." Cooper sounded a little disappointed for some reason. "Are you and James still an item then? Where is he?" Cooper asked Lily, looking around.

"Heavens no! Everyone thinks that. James and I are not together. We are over. That was only for about a day last year. We were friends at the begginging of the year, and now we're not even that." Lily assured
him. Cooper looked slightly relieved.

"I was afraid he would hex me into oblivion if he came back and found me dancing with his girlfriend." Cooper said.

"No way." Lily told him.

"But then, why are you staying with them?" Cooper asked her. Lily sighed and told him the whole story including everything about her father dying up until currently. She left out a few details, such as the room of requirement, and her lessons with Dumbledore, but she told him most of the story. She forgot to mention the minor detail of why the death eaters had killed her father, but Cooper was not focusing on that.

"I'm so sorry." He told her, looking sympathetic. "Don't be. It's fine. Can we talk about something else?" Lily asked. Cooper nodded and began regailing her with stories of his younger brothers. Lily found herself laughing and thouroughly enjoying his company.

Lily did not see James again until they went home that night by Floo, but he saw her from across the dance floor. He looked murderously at the back of Cooper Daniel's head. If looks could have killed, Cooper would have died a thousand times over. James would have to sort him out when they got back to school.

Authors Note: I am soooo sorry to have kept all of you waiting this long! I appologize profusely. I had computer issues and then just had these chapters sitting in my document manager for ages and ages, about two months actually, so i'll be posting the next chapters tonight or tomorrow. I am sooo sorry! There was also a slight complication when I lsot half of the chapter and then had the other chapters after it all ready but couldn't post them because half of this was missing and refusing to upload...ah what a nightmare. Anyway, review if you still love me/are stil lreading this story! Which I doubt anyone is, but that's ok.