Chapter 28

The End

Lily thought a good deal about Holly and Lucious for the next week until exams started. She watched them both when they passed in halls, or when they had potions together. It was impossible to see any kind of relationship between them, friendly or otherwise. If anything, Lucious was even more sneering and cold towards her than he was to most people. He frequently made her the butt of his cruelest jokes, particularly whenever Narcissa was watching. Lily also watched him and Narcissa closely. She fawned all over him all the time, and he barely noticed her. He did not seem to have much interest in her. Lily could not work it out. How did he really feel about her friend?

She also spent a good deal of time thinking about James and her temper tantrum. He had been perfectly normal towards her since, but she could see him looking warily at her as he spoke. She had scared him, apparently. She should probably apologize for that. Unfortunately she just never had the opportunity. He was always surrounded by people, and they had just won the Quiddich cup so he was surrounded by admirers even more than usual.

On Thursday evening Lily was walking back from dinner when she heard James's voice talking animatedly to Sirius.

"Well well well, Padfoot what shaaall we do with him?" James asked, a laugh in his voice.

"Now Prongs, there are just so many jinxes that come to mind that I really don't know which one to choose…"

"You're quite right Pads, why don't we ask Mr. Aubrey which he would prefer?"

"Good idea, Prongsie m'boy," Sirius replied, turning towards Aubrey. Lily rounded the corner and saw the two of them, wands out, cornering a fourth year Slytherin Bertram Aubrey.

"James, Sirius, stop that right now! You two are horrible. Why are you terrorizing poor fourth years? Two against one is hardly a fair fight. Leave him alone," Lily said, crossly.

"Now now, Evans," Sirius said lazily, "just run along and pretend you never saw anything. Then you won't get jinxed either and you won't have to have a guilty conscience about not telling."

"Sirius, put your wand down now!" Lily said, hands on hips.

"I'm afraid I can't…sorry Lily," Sirius said, flipping his hair out of his eyes. He then flicked his wand and Aubrey's head began to inflate. Lily wasn't sure what he had done, it was clearly a nonverbal spell, but Aubrey's head continued to swell.

"Good one, Pad," James said, smiling.

"Not a good one at all!" Lily shrieked, horrified. "Take it back!"

"Hospital wing, Aubrey," Filtch wheezed from behind them. Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, double detention I believe." He said, cackling wheezily as his cat, Mrs. Norris, wove in and out of his stick-like legs. Lily just shook her head and marched off, nose in the air. James Potter could be insufferably overconfident at times. Why did he always need to prove himself? Everyone knew that he was an incredible dueler, and that he was annoyingly clever. Did he really have to rub it in? Was it nice to prove himself over and over again by jinxing people just for the sake of it?

"Codswollop," Lily sighed at the fat lady, entering Gryffindor common room and making her way up to the girls dormitory. She lay down on her bed and sighed again, running a tired hand through her hair.

Lily was all packed and ready to leave. Every corner of the room had been checked and double checked for forgotten items. All of the exams were finished, and Lily had comported herself beautifully. James had beaten her, as usual, in transfiguration. But she had come out on top in charms and potions.

Lily ate in a semi-trance. Everything would change next year. It would be her last year at Hogwarts, and there would be that feeling of ending looming over her all the time. She couldn't shake the feeling that it was the end of an era. The future was looking closer than it ever had before.

She boarded the train with her trunk from the Hogsmeade platform and found a compartment with Alice, Holly, Janette, and Caroline. She let her mind wander a little back to the beginning of the year. So much had happened. What would the summer be like? She remembered returning from Hogwarts in years past and meeting her father at the station. That wouldn't happen this year. She would come of age in September, she was young for her year, so she probably wouldn't be living at home again after this summer. She hadn't really been living at hom from the time when she was 11, but this was somehow different.

"Lily," Caroline said, calling her back to reality.

"What? Sorry," Lily said, realizing that her friends were all looking at her.

"I was just about to tell you all something," Caroline said. She appeared to be bursting with pride and excitement.

"Yes?" Lily said nervously, not sure what to expect.

"Well, as you all know Ben and I have been dating for a while now…and, well, I won't be coming back to Hogwarts next year." Caroline was beaming but Lily sis not understand. She looked at the others, but none of them seemed to have taken it in either.

"I'm sorry…what?" Janette asked, half smiling.

"Ben and I are getting married. He'll be going back to Hogwarts, of course. He needs to continue his studies so that he can get a position with the ministry. But there really isn't much point for me. Mum's over the moon. She thinks that my time can be better spent learning cooking and household running things from her. Setting up for my own home and all that. She never dreamed I would be able to make a match as good as this. Ben is pure blood, and from a very old family after all. Mum's always been worried I would have to settle for a half bloods or something dreadful. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course. Just not for me." Caroline was smiling and simpering and babbling, expecting her friends to be pleased. Holly and Alice and Janette all smiled and hugged Caroline, congratulating her and asking her a million questions about when the wedding would be.

"Lily?" Caroline said hesitantly, looking up from Alice's embrace. "Lily, aren't you pleased?"

"Pleased?" Lily asked, her throat constricted. "How could I be pleased? Why should I be happy to watch you throw your life away for a 'really good match'?" Caroline's face fell.

"Lily, I'm not throwing my life away," Caroline said slowly.

"Of course you are! You're not even finishing your school! You're not even getting your own job! Caroline, how could you?" Lily asked, rising to her feet and hot tears of anger and frustration flooding her eyes.

"Lily, I'm happy. Just because not all of us are clever doesn't mean you can pass judgment on the way I choose to live!" Caroline replied, trying to remain calm but with a tremor in her voice.

"And Ben," Lily scoffed. "Just standing back and letting you throw everything away just so you can become the perfect little housewife."

"He is not!" Caroline yelled, rising to her feet. "He loves me! Don't you dare talk about Ben! You don't even know him!" Lily just looked at her and burst into tears. She couldn't take this. She left the compartment at a run and fled down the corridor as fast as she could. She wasn't looking where she was going, and, blinded by her fury and her tears, she crashed into something very hard. It was the food cart. It jerked on its wheels and slammed back into her. Lily fell to the floor and was showered in licorice wands and sugar quills, watching in horror as bertie bots beans spilled all over the floor, rolling away under doors and rolling down the corridor. Lily began apologizing to the little old witch who pushed the cart. She was so embarrassed. Her color only reddened when a door opened nearby and James, Sirius, Lupin, and Peter all emerged, looking startled.

"Well well, what have we here?" Sirius asked, scooping a sugar quill off the floor and beginning to suck it. "Lily, wreaking havoc as usual."

"Are you okay?" James asked, reaching for her hand to pull her up. Lily leapt to her feet herself and began brushing crusted sugar off her robes. James looked at her, puzzled. She brushed her cheeks in fury, hoping her wouldn't notice the tracks of her tears that she knew still lingered there.

"I'm fine," Lily said, not quite meeting his gaze.

"Want to sit for a minute?" James asked, gesturing towards their compartment.

"Er, sure," Lily said, as she had nowhere else to go. She followed James into the compartment. Sirius stayed behind to buy cauldron caked, chocolate frogs, and to pay for the sugar quill the witch was now berating him for taking.

"So, Lily, what's going on?" James asked in a slightly hushed tone, glancing at Peter who was bobbing up and down, going back and forth between James and Sirius.

"Oh, nothing." Lily said, smiling. "I was looking for the lunch trolley, and then I guess I just got distracted and bumped into her." She waved her hand as if to convey the humor in the situation.

"Right…so why are you all flushed and upset?" James asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Well, I just got out of a fight with a trolley, didn't I? Of course I'm flushed. And who said anything about me being upset?" Lily demanded, not quite meeting his eyes.

"Your eyes are all red," James said shrewdly. "Admit it, you've been crying," he accused.

"It's not important," Lily said, brushing the hair off of her face.

"Right, well so then why not tell me?"

"Well-" blustered Lily, but there was no reason not to tell, "Caroline isn't coming back to school next year," Lily admitted.

"Why not?" James asked. "Is it because of that Voldemort guy?" James asked, looking angry. "A bunch of people were talking the other day about how their parents are nervous about sending their kids back because of that maniac."

"Oh, no, it has nothing to do with that business," Lily told him, shaking her head. "She's getting married," Lily did not even attempt to keep the derision out of her voice. There was more than a hint of sarcasm and distain in her tone.

"Is she now?" asked Sirius, reentering the compartment, Peter on his heels. Remus, who has been perusing the Daily Prophet in a corner looked up, appearing marginally interested. "Who's the bloke?"

"Ben."

"Ben? Oh, well, that's a good match for her I suppose. He's a nice enough guy. He's coming back though, right?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, he is. Caroline gets to stay home and learn how to manage a house and cook while he goes to school so he can get a good job with the ministry!" Lily said, her voice mounting in volume.

"Oh course he is," Sirius said, looking confused at her evident anger. "What else would he do?"

"He would encourage her to continue school so she can get a job and support herself as well!" Lily said, her outrage increasing. "But of course you wouldn't understand that," she raged, glowering at Sirius. "You're all the same, you filthy 'pure' blood families. You're such a chauvinist!"

"Lily!" James said sharply, looking angry himself. "Not all pure blood families think that way, and what Sirius is saying…he doesn't mean it in a chauvinistic way." Lily's fierce gaze turned on James and he fumbled slightly. "It's just, Caoline isn't being forced to do anything. She said yes when he proposed. And…and if she thinks that marrying someone she loves will make her happy then…then I think that's wonderful. Work isn't the only important thing in the world, Lily." James seemed to grow in confidence as he spoke. Lily looked away, she didn't have anything to say to that. When he put it that way she felt childish and stupid.

"If it was a question of Caroline's happiness…" Lily started.

"You don't think she'll be happy?" James asked.

"Well, no…it's not that…it's just that- well…" Lily stammered, not knowing what else to say.

"It's just that the life she's choosing wouldn't make you happy," James finished for her.

"Well, I mean, if you put it like that it sounds like I'm just being selfish!" Lily said, her eyes tearing up again.

"But you are!" James burst out. Lily stared at him, stunned. James had never insulted her before. "I'm sorry Lily, I didn't mean that. You're not being selfish. You're just judging her based on your own standards of happiness. Lily, it's a normal thing to do. Please don't be angry with me, Lily."

"I'm not angry. How could I be angry when you're right?" James looked partially relieved and partially upset.

"Why do you hate marriage so much, Lily?" James asked her.

"I don't hate marriage. I just…well…I just- we're too young! It won't last. They barely even know each other."

"Maybe they love each other," James said quietly, taking a step towards her. Lily looked up at him, but couldn't hold the eye contact longer than a few seconds. She looked away.

"How would they even know?" Lily asked, almost whispering. Sirius cleared his throat, reminding Lily and James that they weren't alone. Lily blushed and James leapt back from her as if scalded. Lily cleared her throat a little. "Sirius, how did you know you loved Hazel?" Lily asked, trying to cast the awkwardness son someone else.

"I just knew. I don't know how to explain it. You'll know someday," Sirius said, winking and looking at James mischievously.

THE END

To be continued in the next installment.

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