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"abc" - Spoken
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A Tale of Two Cursed Souls
Chapter Ten: A Lost Boy, A Lost Soul
Part Two
Unaware of his classmate's turmoil, Toji has arrived at Kensuke's home at the request of his bespectacled friend. Gathered in front of his computer monitor, they watch intently as the video currently playing comes to an end.
"That's it?" Toji asks, his voice muted in reverence for what he's just witnessed.
"Yup, I lived through probably one of the greatest battles in the history of modern warfare and all I have to show for it is…" replies Kensuke, who pushes play, yet nothing happens as the screen remains blank till muted sounds can be heard followed by moments of scenery flashing across the screen. Again, nothing is seen or heard for a while then suddenly screaming, his screaming, is heard blasting through the speakers as the footage comes to an end.
As, Kensuke replays the footage from his time within the Eva again, Toji can no longer contain himself at the hilarity that is Misato's twisted sense of humor, as he burst into a fit of laughter.
"This isn't funny!" Kensuke shouts, his frustration further fueled by his friend's lack of compassion.
"Sure it is. Did you actually expect them to let you keep any footage of their top secret fighting machine or their sex-changing pilot?" states Toji, explaining the truth of the matter.
"Well… they didn't have to rub it in like that." Kensuke replies, as silence fills the room, only to be broken by another burst of laughter from Toji.
"How do you think he's doing?" Toji wonders aloud, his laughter subsiding.
"Who knows, he hasn't been back to class since." adds Kensuke.
"Yeah," Toji replies, without actually hearing what was said.
"Hey, why don't we go see what's up with him?" Kensuke suggest.
"That wouldn't be a good idea." a familiar voice states.
"Boss?" the boys reply, in unison, as Nabiki makes her presence know.
"He's not there, and I have a pretty good idea why?" states Nabiki, entering Kensuke's room and leaning against the wall.
"You do… really?" Toji says, shrinking in on himself as Nabiki shifts her icy gaze upon him.
"Uh, huh… let me ask you something – did you have to call him a hermaphrodite?" she asks with an emotionless mask that chills Toji to the bone.
"I'm sorry, all right, it just came out." Toji replies, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly while keeping one eye on Nabiki.
"It just came out, huh?" she replies, stepping away from the wall. Heading for Toji, she pulls back to bop him on the head till Kensuke interrupts, "Wait, how do you know about that?"
Nabiki halts her fist inches from Toji's head, as she proceeds to inform them of everything that happened that morning involving Shinji and Misato.
"Ok, but why did he leave your place. I mean he couldn't possibly have known Capt. Katsuragi was there… could he?" Kensuke asks, putting together the series of events as Nabiki had explained them, and noticing that they just don't add up.
Damn, sometimes you're to smart for your own good, Aida. Nabiki thinks, as she struggles to come up with an explanation. "Well, you see he… um…"
At that moment the doorbell rings as she's literally saved by the bell. "Hey, isn't that someone at the door? Coming!" stammers Nabiki, as makes her way out of the room leaving her two confused subordinates behind.
"She's hiding something." Kensuke announces.
"Yeah," Toji agrees.
"Want to ask her what?" Kensuke asks with a shrug.
"Nope… you," Toji replied with a nonchalant wave.
"Nah!" Kensuke aggress quickly.
"Cool?" Toji questions as to whether that topic of discussion is closed.
"Yeah, let's go see who it is." Kensuke says, as he stands in the doorway. "You know what ever she's hiding involves Shinji, don't you?" he adds, wondering if Toji came to the same conclusion as him.
"Yup, so drop it, Ken. We don't want an angry Nabiki, now do we?" states Toji.
"Hell no!" Kensuke agrees enthusiastically.
"Amen." Exclaims Toji, as they join Nabiki at the front door.
"Well, well, Suzahara. I didn't know you where the religious type." states Nabiki, a restrained smirk on her face.
"Not particularly." he replies, not liking that look on her face one bit.
"Well, I'd start praying." She replies, as she steps aside to reveal a furious Hikari.
"Class rep… I – I didn't do it! What ever has you pissed, I didn't do it." Toji is quick to respond under Hikari's intense gaze.
"Exactly... It's exactly what you haven't done that's upsetting me." Hikari replies, rushing up on him.
Toji begins to backpedal under Hikari's assault as Kensuke moves out of harms way and next to Nabiki, who he asks, "What didn't he do?"
"Take a peek at your watch, and you'll see why Horaki's pissed." Nabiki replies, shaking her head at how easily Hikari can get Toji to cave.
"Huh? What could that… Oh, man, it's that late already?" asks Kensuke, hoping for his friend's sake it's wrong.
Nabiki simply nods as a smile creeps unto her lips as she watches what reminds her of a mother scolding her child. But, it wouldn't remain there long as Hikari's scolding reveals a surprising turn of events.
"And, while you may have been too busy messing around with Aida here to visit your sister… do you have any idea who did visit her?" Hikari asks Toji who's cornered with nowhere to run.
"No, um, you..." he replies, struggling to form a coherent thought.
"Well – of course, me... Besides me..." she states, exasperated by how clueless he is.
"Um, not a clue... Toji replies, instinctively flinching as the words leave his mouth. When nothing happens he opens his eyes to see a saddened look upon his friend's face and it hurts him deeply.
"Shinji, that's who visited your sister." explains Hikari, turning away from Toji.
"He what…?" Kensuke shouts, voicing the shared reaction of all present.
"Yeah, that's what I thought when I heard him, or at least thought I heard him." Hikari replies, taking a seat on the stairs.
"Wait, what do you mean thought?" Nabiki asks, taking a seat next to Hikari.
"Well, I went to visit Yumi and was expecting to find you there." Hikari replies, shooting a hardened glance Toji's way. "But, imagine my surprise when I hear Shinji pouring his heart out to your sister, at least I thought it was Shinji. It suddenly got quiet, so I entered the room to see if anything was wrong and he wasn't there."
"Then, who was?" Toji asks, not sure how he should feel about what he's hearing.
"I didn't get her name, but this pretty girl with teal-colored hair was cleaning up some water off the floor. I think she was a nurse or something, because when I entered the room she quickly apologized saying she was just checking on the patient and had accidentally knocked over her ice water. She quickly finished cleaning before tucking Yumi in and get this – she kissed her on the forehead and whispered 'she was sorry' before quickly leaving." explains Hikari, smiling as she remembers that adorable scene.
"He kissed her!" Toji yells, fuming at what he heard much to Hikari's surprise and the others' understanding.
"He… I said she kissed her." Hikari replies, still unsure of the big deal, as she thought it was quite sweet.
"He meant her." Nabiki answers, drawing Hikari's attention from the still fuming Toji; "Anyway, if you didn't see him and only think you heard him. Then how do you know he was there?"
"Yumi saw and talked to him. Well, he talked to her anyway… she woke up and found him sitting there, starring out the window, with this really forlorn look; so. she pretended to be asleep not knowing who he was. She said, that's when he introduced himself to her."
Earlier That Day…
"Hello, Yumi. You don't know me, but my name's Shinji Ikari and I'm responsible for putting you in here." he states sorrily.
At hearing this, Yumi strains to get another glimpse of the young man sitting next to her bed. Her brother had mention that she was hurt during some battle involving some monster, so how could this boy be responsible, she wonders.
"I… well, I pilot this machine and when I lost control of it… it went into what someone referred to as a Berserker… Anyway, over the course of the battle several buildings where damaged, including the one you where in. You where pinned beneath some rumble, but luckily you're going to make a complete recovery with time."
Shinji pauses to collect his thoughts, as Yumi digests what's been said. He recaptures her attention as he starts snickering.
"And, despite your brother's fears from the looks of things, you'll grow into quite the major babe. But, let's just keep this our little secret, since he'd probably kill me if he heard me say that."
Shinji starts laughing, picturing the look on Toji's face, if he ever found out. He's so into his little joke that he doesn't notice when Yumi's blushed face peeks from under the covers to take a quick look at his smiling, tear streaked face.
"Oh, I forgot to mention that your brother's a… well, I guess friend isn't the word – um, he's a classmate of mine. And, that's how I heard what happened. I can't stress how sorry I am. If I were… if only I where a stronger person maybe I… Man, look at me – Nabiki's right, I am a freak. A coward too, confessing my sins to a sleeping girl cause I'm too afraid to face her. I'd probably have left without seeing you if you where awake… and, for that - I am also sorry."
Yumi is thrown by the sudden shift in tone this conversation has taken. It almost sounds like a different person is now speaking, as the sadness and regret in his voice is great.
"It's funny but it seems like all I've been doing since I arrived in this city is apologize and run. I must sound pathetic… no wonder people want nothing to do with me."
Turning away from Yumi, Shinji looks out the window at the midday sky. He absorbs the sounds of the city, the sounds of a city bursting with life, and sighs.
"I bet you're wondering, 'if it's as bad, as all that then why does he stay?' Well, I don't really know. I don't have to keep piloting, I guess. I'm not even sure I want to if it's only going to result in people like you getting hurt." he says quieting down, his features showing signs of the internal struggle that's desperately in need of being voiced.
Taking a deep breath, he gets his feelings in check and continues venting, "I mean what's the worst that could happen if I quit... what would be the result? Maybe, I – we all be better off if I… No, I won't even say it. That's what a coward would say, and as pathetic as I am – I'm no coward!"
Shinji pauses once more, but starts to laugh, yet unlike the joyful laughter of before Yumi can hear bitterness, lifelessness in its tone. He stops laughing and stands, turning his back to her, seeing this opening; Yumi lowers the covers and finally gets a clearer look at him.
She watches Shinji lean against the windowsill, a bitter yet peaceful smile on his face. Looking him over, she sees nothing that special about him on first glance; average height – shorter than Toji, above-average build – he might be stronger than Brother, cute kind of handsome – he's definitely cuter than Bro, but there's something more she just can't put her finger on it.
She quickly ducks under the covers as Shinji, hearing a noise coming from the hall, looks towards the room's entrance, before returning his gaze out the window. Slowly, she peaks back out from beneath the sheets, finding his attention back on whatever he's looking at. She takes another look at him and she notices what that thing about him is – it's his eyes.
Yumi is surprised by what she sees in his eyes, an intensity, a vulnerability, and a sweetness that instantly makes her think of one other person – Toji! He's got the same eyes as Toto.
Seeing this she can't be silent anymore, she can't hear another word of self doubt or hate come out of him. She can't believe that someone who obviously tries so hard can blame himself for things that are completely out of his control. Even she knows that in war, like in love, when the end comes it's often without warning or reason; for that is the nature of things, that is what it means to be alive.
She has to say something even though it might embarrass him to know that she's been awake this entire time, because someone has to tell him it's all right. Sitting up so that she may make her consciousness known, she quickly ducks back down, chickening out, as Shinji begins to speak again. "Anyway, sorry for rambling on like that and thanks for listening. I promise I'll come back when…" Shinji pauses, as something feels out of place.
"When what…? What did he say?" Nabiki asks, as Hikari's tale comes to an end.
"Nothing… she said, that's when he suddenly stopped talking. After that, she heard a splash and something hit the floor, then me speaking with that girl. She never heard or saw him leave and neither did I." explains Hikari, sounding as frustrated as Nabiki.
"I wonder how he got out." Kensuke asks, much to Nabiki and Toji's dismay.
"Well, the window was open… you don't think he jumped?" Hikari asks, clearly concerned and surprising the others with how much so.
"Probably, I mean it's only two-three stories… that should be nothing for him if he's anything like Ranma." states Nabiki.
"Oh, that's good. I guess, but one question if I may, Upperclassman Tendo?" asks Hikari, her tone becoming sterner as she turns toward Nabiki.
"Um…? Sure… Horaki…?" Nabiki replies, slightly unnerved by the way the underclassman's looking at her.
"How could you possibly call someone as sweet and kind as Shinji a freak?" Hikari asks accusingly, coming to the defense of her friend. That's right, we're friends! She reminds herself, as she refocuses her icy gaze on Nabiki, asking, "Well, how…?"
"Well, I… um, you see I didn't… You see this morning…" Nabiki proceeds to once again recall this morning's events for Hikari, only this time without any convenient edits, besides details of a certain sex-changing curse.
Upon hearing Nabiki's explanation and learning of Toji and Kensuke's adventures in the Eva, Hikari can't help but feel sorry for both of them – Shinji, for hearing Nabiki say such hurtful things, and Nabiki, who is obviously upset over the whole thing. While being more than a little upset over the actions of her friends, she hopes those two have learned their lesson but she doubts it.
Hikari smiles as Nabiki fidgets under her stern gaze, she never took her for the caring type. Nabiki's always seemed so cold, so distant, which is probably what lead to her well-known moniker. But, here she is surrounded by friends and showing a side to her not many are privy too.
Hikari nods, thinking, She's surrounded by friends… We are all friends, right? So, why is Shinji out there all alone? Looking at those around her, some she's known for what seems like forever, others she's still getting to know, yet Hikari considers them all her friends; and this makes her wonder if Shinji considers them his friends.
"All right, well, I've heard your side of things and I think there's only one way to fix this mess." announces Hikari, looking pleased with her grasp of the situation.
"And, how are we gonna do that? Toji asks, not sounding at all enthused about this turn of events. It was bad enough when Nabiki knew about what happened, but having Hikari know is the absolute worst, as far as he's concerned.
"First, we're going to find Shinji… it's too late to search for him today, but starting tomorrow we don't rest till we find him." explains Hikari, counting of each step with her fingers.
"Easier said then done, I mean he and his cousin are like crazy ninjas or something… even NERV intelligence can't find him. If he doesn't want to be found – they won't!" Kensuke chimes in with a seemingly obvious observation.
"True, but I believe he wants to be found." Hikari replies, sounding confident in this fact.
"What makes you say that?" asks Nabiki, agreeing more with Kensuke's point of view.
"His voice… if you heard what I did you wouldn't have any doubt about this." answers Hikari, her voice losing some of its spark, sounding more melancholy then confident.
"And, what did you hear?" Nabiki asks, not sure if she wants an answer.
"Loneliness..." Hikari states, her eyes meeting those of her companions, they all share a similar look – the look of one who knows that feeling all to well.
"So, what's step two?" Toji asks, trying to draw the conversation away from anymore sore topics.
"All right, second, you three are going to apologize to Shinji. I mean, what are a few hurtful words between friends, right?" says Hikari, her pep from a moment ago returned.
"Friends… who, the hell, said we where friends!" Toji shouts, surprising everyone with the indignation in his voice. He stands and walks away from the others, before quickly performing an about-face.
They're all silent none sure as to what's eating at Toji, including Toji himself, but standing before them he can see the concern and confusion in their eyes; so, he tries to explain himself, "We're not friends. He's just some kid we all know… nothing more."
"Toji, how can you say…" shouts Hikari, but she's silenced as Toji raises his hands begging her to wait a minute.
"Just listen for a second, what I'm trying to say is..." he pauses for a moment to collect his thoughts; You know what you mean, so just say it! Looking more assured, Toji nods, saying, "All right, here, has any of us even had an actual conversation with the kid? I mean, that's something friends do… Right… what was that?" he pauses, as Hikari speaks, he's surprised by what he heard and awaits an explanation.
"I said I have… I've talked with him. And, I consider him a friend – Just as I do you, Miss Tendo?" Hikari explains, standing to face Toji, before turning back to face a surprised Nabiki.
"Huh, um, yeah…?" Nabiki replies, a little caught of guard by Hikari's revelation.
"How long have we known each other?" Hikari asks an innocent yet predatory smile on her face.
"Years… since sometime in elementary, I think." Nabiki replies, she's known Hikari the longest and yet she's never seen her so lively before.
"And, how many times have we actually talked to each other – you know an actual conversation?" Hikari says this looking at Toji to see his reaction; it's just what she was hoping to see – understanding.
"I don't know… a couple, I guess?" answers Nabiki, still not getting the point of her questions.
"Nope – never, we've never talked, we've never you know just shoot the breeze, if you will. Today, right now, this conversation is the first time we've talked at length beyond the usual schoolyard pleasantries." Hikari replies, a smile on her face but a sadness in her eyes.
Hearing this Nabiki is shocked, had she really never spoken with Hikari like this before; as long as she can remember Hikari, Toji, and Kensuke have been around her. But, the truth of the matter is that Hikari is their friend not hers. She's never bothered to take their relationship beyond petty schoolyard pleasantries, as Hikari so aptly put it, a fact that she's been oblivious too until now.
"I'm sorry." Nabiki says, looking away from Hikari ashamed.
"Huh, what, why are you sorry?" Hikari asks, surprised by Nabiki's dour tone.
"I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. I never realized how cold I've been to you. Since, you've always seemed to be around, I sometimes forget that you're their friend not mine…" Nabiki is silenced, as Hikari sits back down next to her on the steps. Taking a hold of her hands, Hikari smiles as Nabiki finally looks straight at her, saying, "That's not true, we are friends, Miss Tendo."
"How are we friends?" Nabiki asks her voice cracking as she realizes that if she treats Hikari like this, why should she expect things to turn out differently with Shinji.
"Just because we don't talk all the time doesn't mean that we're not friends. Being friends is more than that, and the same goes for Shinji. Part of being someone's friend is learning about them, and from what I've learned about Shinji in the short time I've known him, I'm positive that he's someone I want to be my friend – Just like you, Upperclassman Tendo." Hikari explains, looking to each of her friends who smile warmly at her agreeing with her sentiment.
"Nabiki." she says with a quiet voice not sounding at all like her normally brash, confident self.
"What was that?" Hikari asks, not sure if she heard her right.
"I said, Nabiki – Call me, Nabiki. There's no titles between friends, right, Hikari?" explains Nabiki.
Hikari and Nabiki smile brightly at each other, both happy to know for certain that they have yet another friend out there who cares about them. Suddenly, noticing the silence that has filled the room, they look to find Kensuke and Toji hovering before them; the intensity of their interest in the scene that just played out before them, evident in their eyes.
"What are you two looking at?" shouts Nabiki, sounding more like her usual self.
"What…? Nothing… Nothing at all!" Toji replies, he and Kensuke turning away from the girls.
Huddling together, Kensuke whispers to Toji, "Damn, I swear I thought they where seconds from making out!"
"A man can dream, right?" Toji replies, laughing as wanton thoughts fill his head.
"Sure can… and here's something else for you to dream about!"
The dread brought upon by the sound of Nabiki's voice and the look in their attackers' eyes, as they glanced behind them, is the only warning they would get as to what was about to be fall them. They quickly learned an all too important lesson – women see all and hear all, especially when it involves a man making an ass of himself.
A Short Time Later…
Stepping out of Kensuke's house, with battered body and bruised ego, Toji looks more wiped pup than jock. Following him, looking quite pleased with themselves, Nabiki and Hikari turn to face Kensuke who looks no better than his friend.
"All right, well, we'll see you later, Aida." Nabiki says trying hard not to laugh, as not to bruise her subordinates' egos any further.
"Yeah, later, guys." Kensuke replies, sounding most definitely worst for the wear.
With the facts behind today's events now fully understood, Nabiki, Toji, and Hikari begin their trek home. Not much is said as they all continue to think about Shinji. Toji and Hikari walk side by side with Nabiki bringing up the rear. Watching them, she can't help but notice that they make quite the cute couple. She suddenly finds herself imagining what she and Shinji might look like in their place.
"Yeah, like that'll happen!" Nabiki says, surprising herself that she said it out loud.
"You say something, Nabiki?" Hikari asks, as she and Toji stop, turning to face a flustered Nabiki.
"Um, yeah... Well, this is my turn. So, I'll see you two at school, Suzahara, Hikari." Nabiki announces, quickly making her way towards the crosswalk, Toji and Hikari watch, as she heads for the opposite side of the street.
"Yeah, later, boss." Toji responds with a nod.
Hikari and Toji prepare to continue on their way when suddenly, "Miss Tendo!" Hikari shouts, remembering something she meant to tell Nabiki.
"I thought we went over this, call me Nabiki?" she shouts back, at the respectful underclassman.
"Sorry… but, don't forget, we agreed, if you see Shinji first call us, we'll do the same, okay?" Hikari shouts.
"Yeah, sure, no problem," answers Nabiki, waving them off as she continues on her way.
"Oh, and don't forget to apologize!" Hikari shouts, causing Nabiki to stop short before continuing on her way.
"Yeah, sure… but, where to begin...I'm sorry for calling you a freak... But, hey, look on the bright side - we're engaged." Nabiki mutters with thoughts of Shinji's hurt expression weighing heavily on her.
As Nabiki vanishes in the distance, Hikari and Toji continue on their way with silence prevailing once more.
"Um... Toji..." says Hikari, finding it hard to vocalize what she wants to say now that she finds herself alone with him.
"Yeah, what's up?" Toji answers, only glancing momentarily at her as they continue on.
"I don't mean to bud in, but - I really think you should apologize to Shinji." she says, bracing herself for his obvious reaction
"What… me apologize? No way, hell no, he…" Toji shouts, sounding on the brink of ranting, as Hikari cuts in adding, "He's sorry for something that's not even really his fault. And, it's obviously eating away at him."
Toji doesn't respond as he looks straight ahead, avoiding Hikari's pleading gaze. "Listen, it may not seem like it, but you two have a lot in common." she states, hoping he takes this statement better than her last.
"Me and the hero... Yeah, like what?" he asks, surprisingly calm considering what's been said.
"Well, for one thing you're both good people, but more importantly you're two of the kindest people I've ever met." Hikari says breathlessly, looking straight ahead, surprised that she managed to get it out without panicking. She avoids Toji's gaze, as it might weaken her resolve.
"Hikari, I…" Toji stammers at Hikari, who glances his way, but quickly looks away with a slight blush upon her cheeks at his surprised expression.
"Anyway, this is my block. See you in school, bright and early, right?" Hikari says, as she giddily skips away looking back, as Toji dumbly nods at which she giggles.
"See ya, Toji." she says, waving as she runs off.
"Yeah, see ya." he replies, watching her retreating form with something slightly less than amazement in his eyes.
Left alone to his thoughts, Toji continues on deciding to stop by the hospital on his way home. Nearing his destination, he notices the darkening sky, now filled with ominous clouds, and releases an exhausted sigh, thinking, Man, looks like rain and me without an umbrella. Guess I could all ways wait it out, visiting hours don't end till 8.
Toji halts mid-stride, as he looks back into the horizon from the hospital entrance.
"I wonder where the hero's at… I – I hope he's all right. If the rep likes him, he can't be all bad, I guess."
Turning away from the depressingly dark sky, Toji mutters, "I hope you're someplace safe… for Hikari's sake."
To Be Continued…
Author's Note: See Profile…