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"abc" - Spoken
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A Tale of Two Cursed Souls
Chapter Twelve: A Lost Boy, A Lost Soul
Part Four
To say that morning came too quickly would be an understatement; Shinji was only able to get a little sleep as he simply couldn't come to terms with what has happened. Preparing to leave NERV, for what will be the last time; he is debriefed by Section 2 and made to sign all sorts of confidentiality agreements.
Being escorted out of NERV, Section 2 agents all around, Shinji is surprised to find Ritsuko waiting for him by the elevators to the surface. Standing before her, he avoids her gaze not knowing what to say.
Looking Shinji over, a sad smile graces Ritsuko's lips; he looks liked a whipped pup who's ashamed for doing wrong. Shaking her head, she puts her hand on his shoulder, saying, "I have a message from your Father… He would like to express his appreciation for all you've done on behalf of NERV."
Shinji baulks at her words; he doesn't quite know how to respond, but to ask "That's… it?"
"Yes, that's it. Take care, Shinji." Ritsuko replies, then starts walking away leaving an emotionally-crushed Shinji behind.
"W… Wait!" Shinji yells, stopping Ritsuko in her tracks; "Where's Misato…? Is she not… I wanted to say goodbye?"
"I'm sorry, Shinji… but, you're no longer a member of NERV… and, I can't divulge any information no matter how inconsequential. Those are the rules, sorry." Ritsuko replies, she turns to leave again till she's surprised to feel someone grab her hand.
"Wait… I'm sorry… But, can you deliver a message for me…? Please?"
Looking back at Shinji, into his pleading eyes, Ritsuko simply nods as a warm smile graces her lips.
Above Ground…
"Man, what a beautiful morning! Perfect for skipping class..." Toji says, stretching as he over looks the schoolyard below. When he suddenly feels a dark presence behind that speaks, sending an icy chill down his spine, "What was that, Suzahara?"
Turning cautiously, he comes face to face with a less than pleased Hikari, laughing uneasily he replies, "Um… I said what a beautiful morning for arriving to class on time."
"Ah… That's what I thought I heard." Hikari replies, smiling innocently at him. Looking at her smile he wonders who's scarier: her or Nabiki. He's drawn from his musing as they hear a distinctive voice yelling their names.
"Kensuke…? What's up, man?" Toji asks, turning to face his panicked friend.
"Shinji, its Shinji… he's leaving, man!" shouts Kensuke, as he reaches them, gasping to catch his breath.
"What do you mean he's leaving?" Hikari asks, stepping between the two boys as she looks for clarification.
"The Boss's sister, Kasumi, told me. He's leaving by train like… Now!" answers Kensuke, checking his watch.
"Well, what are we waiting for…? Let's go!" Toji shouts, taking a few steps to leave when he notices that no one's following. "What are you waiting for?"
"But, class is about to start?" Hikari replies, sounding quite unsure.
"Forget class… We can't let him leave with the way things are!" Toji shouts, sure that he's right about this.
"You're right, let's go!" Hikari replies, taking only a few moments to make up her mind.
"We got to hurry!" Kensuke shouts, as the three friends start running for the exit.
"Right - Hey, how you find out about this, anyway?" Toji asks.
"I was checking the school database hoping to find some info on when he might be coming back to class, when I found him listed for a transfer. I called the Boss on her cell but she didn't answer. So, I called her at home and Kasumi picked up, she said she had just found a message on their machine stating that Shinji was leaving this morning." explains Kensuke.
"We should call Nabiki. She'll want to know what's happening!" states Hikari.
"She already knows… Kasumi said, she was on the message talking to some scary sounding man." Kensuke adds, noticing the looks of surprise and confusion on his friends' faces.
"Why didn't she tell us?" asks Hikari, surprised by this bit of information.
"Who knows, but we have to hurry!" Toji shouts, as they make their way out into the schoolyard.
"Yeah, but how are we going to get there in time?" Kensuke asks.
"I know." Hikari answers, pulling out her cell.
At That Moment…
Turning the corner that leads to her office, Ritsuko is surprised to find Misato waiting for her. Stepping away from the wall, Misato turns to face her old friend asking, "So… he's gone?"
"Yes, he should be arriving at the station any moment now." answers Ritsuko, walking past Misato and into her office.
"This was for the best… right, Ritsu?" Misato asks, looking for reassurance as she enters the room.
"Who knows?" Ritsuko replies with a shrug.
"Yeah…?" Misato dejectedly replies.
"Oh, before I forget… he gave me a message for you?" says Ritsuko, leaning against her desk.
"Shinji... What did he say?" Misato asks, an energy to her words that was missing moments ago.
"He said to tell you, 'Thank you for everything and that he won't forget. He could never forget.' Any idea what he means?" she asks, hoping Misato will elaborate on what could have happened between her and Shinji that would lead to his sudden departure.
Rather than explain, Misato remains quiet, her eyes void of any reaction, as she appears to be lost in thought till she speaks, "He won't forget? Yeah, this whole mess sounds like… the Hedgehog's dilemma!"
"What?" Ritsuko asks, hoping her friend is finally heading on the right track.
"Hedgehog's Dilemma… the closer we get - the more we hurt?" Misato replies, looking to her friend with eyes full of understanding. Ritsuko nods with a knowing smile, as Misato shouts, "I'm the hedgehog… not him!"
"If you say so," Ritsuko replies, glad that she at least gets the gist of it.
"I didn't want to hurt… I didn't want to get close? He didn't want to leave?" Misato says, sadness to her words as she says that last point.
"I would say… no." replies Ritsuko, seeing the same shameful look on her friend that Shinji had earlier. She shakes her head ruefully as she puts a hand on Misato's shoulder, "If you hurry you'll make it."
"Right…!" Misato replies, as she breaks into a run.
"Don't forget your seatbelt!" Ritsuko yells down the hall after her; Misato waves in response.
Reentering her office, Ritsuko laughs to herself at how similar those two are. She's so into her musings that she doesn't notice the presence of the person sitting within.
"Doctor…?" a monotone voice announces.
"Rei…!" Ritsuko shouts, jumping at the sound of the First Child's voice. Ritsuko wonders, how they could have not realized that she was there this entire time.
"It is time for my synch test." Rei states nonchalantly.
"Right - sorry. I was thrown off-schedule by Shinji's leaving." explains Ritsuko.
"Pilot Ikari… Has he left all ready?" asks Rei, her tone unchanged.
"Yes. In fact, he left me with a message for you. Would you like to hear it?" asks Ritsuko, who watches with piqued curiosity, as Rei doesn't respond for a moment before nodding, replying, "Yes. Yes, I would."
"He said to tell you… 'I don't know why, yet… but, when I do I'd like to return and share it with you...?' He asked me to make sure you knew that he was sorry about everything." explains Ritsuko, with deliberate care to convey his message word for word, while watching Rei for any sign of a reaction.
Rei looks away from Ritsuko for a moment, as she looks out the window behind the doctor's desk into the Geo-front. Noticing the surprisingly far away look in Rei's eyes, Ritsuko coughs which succeeds in recapturing the pilot's attention.
"But, most of all, he said, he's sorry he couldn't keep his promise." adds Ritsuko, who's shocked to see what could be taken for actual surprise in Rei's eyes. Seeing this she can't help but ask, "What promise would that be?"
Rising from her seat, Rei walks towards the door, stopping as it opens, she says, "We are behind schedule. I must change."
Without another word, Rei exits the room leaving a stunned Ritsuko in her wake. Ritsuko laughing arranges some papers on her desk, before following Rei thinking, Things sure are getting interesting.
Meanwhile…
Tokyo-3 Station - its here that his time in this city began and here it will end, climbing out of the car, Shinji's escorted to the ramp that will lead him to the train platform.
"Thank you, for your cooperation. Your train should be arriving shortly." announces the Section 2 squad leader from the other morning.
"Thanks, um…?" Shinji replies, pausing not sure how to refer to the Agent.
"Kuroda… call me Kuroda, sir." replies the Agent.
"All right, Kuroda… Thank you for the other morning… you didn't have to handle it the way you did. So, um, thank you, sir." Shinji says unsurely, as he offers his hand to Kuroda.
"Likewise, sir." replies Kuroda, shaking Shinji's hand firmly.
"Ikari is fine, well, later… I guess." Shinji says, still unsure of how one's supposed to handle such a situation.
"Doubtful, sir… Ikari… but, I understand the sentiment." Kuroda replies, stepping back so that Shinji may be on his way.
"Yeah, right…?" Shinji says, as he heads up the ramp, thinking, Guess there's no turning back. They must be here to make sure I leave. Do they really want me gone that badly?
Sighing deeply, he walks across the platform finding a surprising sight. There sitting on a bench is Nabiki Tendo, she looks at him but does not say a word.
Without hesitation, Shinji walks over and takes a seat next to Nabiki. Placing his bag down next to him, he looks straight ahead, as both take in sounds of the station.
"Thank you." he says, startlingly Nabiki, who wasn't expecting him to be the one to start the conversation.
"What?" asks Nabiki, who looks at him with surprised eyes.
"Thank you for seeing me off." He clarifies.
"Oh, yeah… It's the least I could do." she replies sounding unsure.
"So, how'd you know I'd be here?" he asks, avoiding her glance he doesn't notice the nervousness on her features.
"Your father called last night." she explains.
"My father!" cries Shinji, looking her straight in the eyes. Nabiki's surprised by his reaction, by the shock on his face even more.
"Yeah… He called for Genma, but he was out. He told me you quit piloting and would be leaving in the morning. So, I came right over as soon as I woke to make sure I didn't miss you." she explains, studying the parade of emotions flashes across his face.
"Have you been waiting long?" Shinji asks, getting control of the uneasiness that particular bit of information has left him feeling.
"No... Not really." she replies, clearly lying.
"Good." he responds, catching her fib but letting it slide, as he wouldn't know what to say anyway.
An awkward silence grows between them, as once more neither knows what to say to the other. They have spoken to one another, three times before and then like now neither knew what to say. But, unlike before, Nabiki refuses to let this opportunity pass her by.
"I'm sorry. I want you to know that." states Nabiki, turning to face him directly.
"I do. And, thank you, for apologizing. It means a lot to me." he replies, but does not look at her. He continues to stare out into the city; his reluctance to look at her is making things all the more awkward for Nabiki, who replies, "No problem."
Their time together is near an end, as the train pulls into the station. Rising to his feet, Shinji picks up his bag, as Nabiki rises as well. Turning to face her directly, Shinji smiles, as he offers his hand.
Nabiki looks down at his hand then up at his smile. She instantly notices that unlike the joyless smile he had worn the last time they where together this smile was genuine.
This shift in demeanor confuses her, as only a moment ago, he seemed wanting to avoid any contact with her whatsoever; now he's smiling brightly at her like you would a close friend.
Accepting his hand, they shake as friends who are about to part ways, and in doing so it becomes instantly clear to Nabiki the truth behind his behavior, He's just as awkward as I am.
Still holding hands, having ceased shaking awhile ago, Nabiki can't help but feel that this is all wrong. She wants to speak up but doesn't know how, doesn't know what must be said.
"Goodbye, Nabiki. It was a pleasure meeting you." Shinji says, gently removing his hand from hers.
Nabiki watches, as he turns away from her and approaches the entrance to the train. His back to her, she watches as part of her says to do nothing and let him be. Yet, in the back of her mind she hears Kasumi's words - Be honest with him, but more importantly… Be honest with yourself.
"Be honest with yourself… do you really want to go?" Nabiki shouts, as she grabs Shinji by the wrist stopping him from entering the train.
He doesn't respond, he simply stands there, as the question that's been a drift within him is finally brought to light.
"Well, do you?" she asks, tightening her grip on his wrist.
Turning around to face her, he removes her hand from his wrist and takes it within his own, responding, "No, I don't."
"Then why… why are you?" Nabiki asks, struggling to voice how she feels, struggling to understand how he feels, and struggling to understand why she feels like she does; as she has always felt that she was ill-equipped to handle such things.
"Because… what if I mess up again? What if people get hurt because of me? What if I fail…?" he cries out, shaking as he begins voicing all the insecurities that's plagued him since becoming a pilot.
An announcement can be heard over the station's P.A. system, stating the trains departing in five minutes. Squeezing Nabiki's hand, ever so gently, Shinji turns away from her, saying, "Besides, no one wants me here. And, anyway, I'm not needed here, anymore."
Releasing her hand, he says, "Thank you, Nabiki. Goodbye."
"Wait!" she shouts out to him once more.
He halts his retreat once more waiting for her to continue, but continue she does not, as her own insecurities have taken hold of her. Sighing, he tightens his grip on his bag, as another announcement is heard over the P.A. system, "The train is now departing. All passengers please board now."
Hearing this Nabiki remembers Kasumi's words once more, but more importantly… Be honest with yourself.
Fighting back her insecurities, her greatest the fear of appearing weak – appearing vulnerable – she firmly says, "I… I want you to stay. Please, stay."
Later…
Pulling up to the station, just as Shinji's train is pulling away, Misato jumps out her car. Looking up at the train, tears stream from her eyes. "God… No, I'm too late!" she cries, as a cab arrives with Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari spilling out of it.
"Damn it! We're too late." Toji yells.
"No, we can't be." says Kensuke, looking around for any sign of Shinji.
"Hey, someone else is here." Hikari says gesturing towards the only other person in sight.
"It's Captain Katsuragi." Kensuke shouts, sounding glad to see her, despite her little practical joke with his film.
Hearing her name, Misato looks over at the trio of students. Quickly wiping away her tears, she gives a wave in their direction saying, "Hey."
The three students reply in kind, matching her sentiments exactly. Silence descending upon them, as the train makes its way from the station, leaving everyone standing there with the truth of the matter sinking in on them.
Hikari steps away from the others thinking that someone should go over and console Captain Katsuragi, as she obviously must feel as they do. Taking only two steps, she turns around and whispers, "Toji… look!" as she tugs on his sleeve.
Everyone looks up at the train platform to find Nabiki hugging a sobbing Shinji, who cries, "I'm afraid… I'm afraid that I'll fail."
"We're all afraid sometimes… I'm afraid, too." she softly states.
"What are you afraid of?" he asks, hoping he's not prying.
"I'm afraid of losing control… afraid of failure and…" Nabiki begins hesitantly till she's interrupted by a familiar voice shouting, "Hey, up there! Maybe you two should find someplace a little more private."
"Misato," Shinji mutters, letting go of Nabiki, slightly, he looks back to find Misato and the others laughing and cheering them on. Quickly, he lets go of Nabiki. Jumping away from her, he starts trying to explain the situation while fending off their catcalls.
Watching him, she can't help but smile even as she finishes her confession to herself, You... I'm afraid of you, Shinji!
This confession was anything but easy for her to come by, the realization of how afraid she is of all he personifies and all that knowing him will entail, as it's a clear sign of hidden vulnerabilities. Despite this, she grabs everyone's attention, as she takes Shinji's hand, saying to him, "Let's go put these fools in their place."
Nodding, Shinji lets himself be lead out of the station by Nabiki to where the others await. Arriving to a hug from Hikari and Misato, Shinji is left in a state - short of catatonia. The girls can't help but laugh at his reaction, but before he can respond he's pulled aside by Toji.
"All right, Hero, I want you to hit me as hard as you can." Toji announces for all to hear; stepping right in Shinji's face.
"Huh…? Why?" Shinji replies, taking a few steps back trying to create some distance between them.
"I went off an' hit you without knowing a thing about ya… and, then you go and save my life and stuff… only for me to say something stupid. So, hit me, so we can be square." Toji explains, getting back in Shinji's face, he puffs out his chest and braces for what's coming.
"Fine, but remember… you asked for it!" states Shinji, dropping into a fighting stance.
Everyone looks away, well, everyone except Kensuke, who begins filming the whole thing. Shinji pulls back, readying what looks to be a knock-out punch, letting it fly he pulls it short - inches from Toji's face.
"Nah… I'd better not. Besides, having you owe me one is more fun." states Shinji, walking past Toji to join the others.
"Why, you little bastard… and after I decide to let it slide that you where hitting on my little sister!" Toji shouts, causing Shinji to freeze in his tracks; "How do you…" Shinji stammers, as a wolfish grin appears on Toji's face.
"Oh yeah, you didn't know… Yumi was awake the entire time!" Toji says with a smirk.
The others hearing all this realize what Toji's trying to do and sigh in near unison thinking, All he has to do is say he's sorry… but, he just can't do it? What a nimrod!
Shinji remains silent, as the gravity of what's been said sinks in, She was awake… that means she heard everything. That means… they know everything…? Nabiki laughs as she notices the beet-red blush on Shinji's face, saying, "Toji is so dead."
"What do you mean?" Hikari asks sounding more confused then worried.
"Just watch…" Nabiki replies, but before the words even leave her mouth fully Shinji damn-near runs Toji over. Grabbing him by the collar, Shinji laughs playfully, saying, "Maybe, I'll accept your offer after all."
Pulling back and letting it fly, Shinji again pulls his punch short as suddenly someone shouts his name. Letting go of Toji, he turns around slowly coming face to face with a seething Ranma.
"Hey… Ranma…?" Shinji says nervously, avoiding Ranma's eyes, as he stares down at the ground.
"Don't you 'Hey... Ranma' me… what the hell were…" Ranma is cutoff, as he's sent sprawling into the street, as Shinji is pulled into a lung-collapsing hug.
"Shinji, I'm so glad. I thought we wouldn't make it." Akane says, squeezing him even tighter.
"Um… Akane..." Nabiki shouts, waving to get her sister's attention.
"Oh… Hey, sis...?" Akane replies obliviously.
"I don't think he can take anymore." states Nabiki, laughing slightly.
"What do you mean?" asks Akane.
"Look." Nabiki answers, pointing at the barely conscious Shinji within Akane's arms.
"Oh, sorry... Shinji," She replies, as she lets him go, his legs giving out, he crashes to the ground.
"Don't worry about it, it was really enjoyable." Shinji replies, giving her the thumbs up, as Toji pulls him up to his feet. As, Toji is about to demand that Shinji do as he wishes Ranma shoves him aside and grabs Shinji from behind. Putting Shinji into a headlock, Ranma smacks him upside the head, asking, "What the hell were you thinking?"
"Ow… What was that for?" Shinji shouts, struggling to get free as Ranma turns the hold into a sleeper. Tightening his hold on him, Ranma laughs saying, "Don't you 'what' me… Do you have any idea what we went threw… or how worried we where? What where you thinking…?"
"Sorry… Akane, but… uh, thanks for caring!" Shinji shouts between gasps for air, looking over to where Akane is standing with the others; who are all watching these two cousins act more like siblings with great amusement.
"No problem… I'm – I'm just glad you're all right." replies Akane, waving off his apology and blushing faintly, embarrassed by all the attention she's suddenly getting as everyone looking at her.
"Hey, don't apologize to her… Apologize to me, you idiot!" Ranma yells, adding pressure to his hold. Struggling to breath, Shinji replies, "Um… I-I'd rather not!"
Suddenly, going limp, Shinji manages to slip out of Ranma's grasp. Landing on all four, Shinji spins sweeping Ranma's leg out from under him. Rolling to safety, Shinji stands to find himself face to face with a grinning Toji.
Managing to jump away from Toji, as he tries to grab him, Shinji lands between the two boys, shouting, "Hold it… Man, one guy wants to beat me the other to be beat by me! How about this… Ranma, you beat up Toji thinking it's me, and Toji, just think it's me hitting you… Good….? Great…? Cool, have at it!"
"Hey, that's not cool… I have no beef with him!" Toji shouts, backpedaling as he notices the sly smirk on Ranma's face. Ranma laughs, as he walks up to Shinji and pats him on the back, saying, "Yeah, sure, why not…? I still owe this guy for causing you so much trouble."
"Hey, hey, this isn't cool!" Toji yells, backing away slowly as Ranma approaches cracking his knuckles. Realizing what's about to happen, Toji makes a run for it with Ranma quickly giving chase.
"Ranma, be gentle, he's an okay guy!" Shinji shouts, laughing as he's joined by Akane, Kensuke, and Hikari. Standing off to the side, Nabiki watches as they all cheer Ranma on, as he keeps barely missing Toji. She's surprised when she's joined by Misato; standing together they watch Shinji and the others.
"Thank you." Nabiki looks at Misato, not quite sure how to respond to her declaration; she shrugs her shoulders while asking, "For what…?"
"For being here… For that..." Misato replies, pointing at Shinji. Nabiki looks at him, smiling brightly, laughing freely, and surrounded by friends; and it brings a smile to her face. Shaking her head, Nabiki replies, "I didn't do anything worth thanking."
"Yes, you did. This is the first time I've seen him smile so… so honestly." Misato states, turning to face Nabiki, she looks the girl over and smiles, adding, "And, I believe you played no small part in this… this change in him, and I believe that is worth my thanks."
Nabiki doesn't know how to respond to Misato's kind words, but looking at Shinji she feels that maybe it's not her who changed him, but that it's the other way around – that it's him who is changing her.
"He's cute when he smiles, right?" Misato asks, elbowing Nabiki in the shoulder. Nabiki balks at her question, responding, "Yea…?" Turning a bright shade of red, Nabiki walks away from Misato, embarrassed by what she almost said. Misato starts laughing, thinking, I like her… she reminds me of someone…?
Watching Nabiki rejoin Shinji and the others, Misato giggles as she notices how Nabiki makes sure to stand off to the side; not too close but not too far from Shinji. Seeing him surrounded by his friends, Misato can't help but smile thinking, To think he's affected so many people in such a sort time. And, I was going to send him away from all of this.
Whistling, Misato manages to capture everyone's attention, just as Ranma manages to get his hands on Toji. Laughing at their confused faces, she announces, "I hate to pull you away from your fan club… but we should really get back to NERV and inform everyone of your triumphant return."
"All right, Misato." Shinji answers, turning to face his friends. He struggles to find the words to convey how he feels. As, Ranma drags Toji over in a hammerlock, Shinji looks at everyone around him: Hikari and Akane, the two who welcomed him without question; Kensuke and Toji, two who caused him much grief yet have shown their true colors here today; Ranma and Nabiki, one has been his near-constant companion and closest friend for years, the other someone he feels is like him – someone he can trust.
"Um… I… I just want…" Shinji struggles to find the words to convey just how he feels, his emotions getting the better of him.
"Ah… get out of here, man. Saving the world comes first and all that." states Toji, flexing his newly freed wrist as he glances wearily at Ranma.
"Yeah, we'll see you at school tomorrow." Hikari adds, giggling at Toji's pained expression.
Looking at them all, Shinji smiles, but unlike all the other times, Nabiki sees in this one a joy unlike anything she's ever seen before and it succeeds in bringing a smile of equal joy to her face as well a reddish tint.
Spotting her standing in the back of the group, Shinji pushes his way threw to stand right before her. Nabiki's, despite her best efforts, blush intensifies under his gaze, as he takes her hands into his and says, "Thank you, Nabiki."
Nabiki simply nods, as he looks back at the others saying, "Thanks all of you."
Letting go of Nabiki's hands, he runs over to Misato's car, yelling from the passenger seat, "I'll see you all, tomorrow! Oh, and Toji, tell Yumi, I'll be by to see her soon!"
"Over my dead body…!" Toji shouts fuming, as everyone starts laughing. Shinji shakes his head, shouting, "That can be arranged, right, Agent Kuroda!"
Everyone looks behind them, only to find no one there. Turning around, they find Shinji laughing as he yells, "Gotcha… Later!"
Watching them drive off, a pissed Toji giving chase while everyone else talks amongst themselves, Agent Kuroda, laughing at their antics, pulls out his cell. Composing himself, he speaks, "Kuroda reporting, the Third has remained in the city. Is with Captain Katsuragi and returning to NERV… Understood… out."
Looking down from the building across the street, as a defeated-looking Toji is consoled by Hikari and the others, Kuroda laughs, thinking, I'll be seeing you around, Kid.
Thinking she saw something move from the corner of her eye, Akane scans the rooftops but sees nothing. Guessing she's seeing things, she notices Nabiki walking away; "Hey, where you going?" she asks, catching up with her sister.
"School's not over yet. We'll be late but…" Nabiki replies, nonchalantly shrugging, till Akane cuts her off asking, "You two where looking cozy… Did you tell him?"
"What?" Nabiki asks, trying hard to keep herself in check as not to let any errant emotions slide threw.
"Did you tell him about the… you know?" Akane asks, sounding quite chipper at the idea.
"No… I… When the times right... I'll tell him everything." Nabiki replies stoically.
"So, you're okay with it then?" Akane asks, trying to get a feel for how Nabiki's feeling behind her bravado.
"I didn't say that. I simply said I'd tell him." Nabiki states, her shield of indifference never wavering once, before turning and heading on her way.
Akane watches Nabiki walk away with a big smile on her face, thinking, I'm proud of you.
As they depart for NERV, an air of awkward tension replaces the jubilation of a moment ago. Not a word is spoken the entire way there. It's only when they pull into the tram that will carry them down into the Geofront that the silence is finally ended as Misato asks, "You didn't really want to go did you?"
"No, not really, and you really didn't want me to go either, right?"
"No... I mean – yeah. Yes, I did." Misato replies, seeing the hurt in his eyes she quickly tries to clarify what she meant. "Wait, let me explain..."
"All right…?" Shinji answers, waiting to hear why she could possibly want him gone so badly, as to all but throw him out of the city herself.
"When I heard you where at the Tendo's place, I rushed over hoping to find you. But, by the time I got there you had already left." Misato says, beginning to explain herself.
"Actually, I was on my way back to the kitchen when I heard them answer the door... I heard you and ran... Sorry." Shinji explains.
"It's all right, but... why?" she asks, looking for insight into his reason for running.
"I wasn't ready to face you yet. Anyway, you where saying?" Shinji replies, shifting the focus back on Misato's transgressions.
Misato fidgets for a moment before continuing, "Yeah, okay, so when I tried to explain the situation to your cousin and those girls, they wouldn't hear any of it. I thought for a second there that they where going to physically remove me from the house. Luckily, the oldest sister intervened."
"There's another sister?" Shinji asks, surprised by this revelation.
"Yeah, sweet girl named Kasumi. Anyway, she sat us down for tea so I could explain... let's just say it didn't go over that well. See, when all was said and done I had informed them of everything that occurred from the battle to its aftermath. I then, quickly learned that if I ever let anything happen to you I'd... well, it won't be pretty to say the least." she explains, laughing uneasily.
"Ranma... threatened you?" Shinji asks, sounding protective of her, at which Misato smiles.
"No, it was the sisters! The one named Akane did the actual threatening while Nabiki promised no one would ever be the wiser of my demise, and Kasumi simply nodded in agreement, smiling the entire time."
Shinji - much to her surprise - begins snickering as she finishes recounting her harrowing encounter with the vicious Tendo sisters. He struggles to hold back the laughter, but seeing him like that causes Misato to crack first causing Shinji to cave.
As, their laughter subsides a serious look returns to Shinji's face as he asks, "But, that doesn't explain why you wanted me gone?"
Sighing, Misato takes a deep breath and begins to explain, "I'm not really sure why myself, but after talking with them... and hearing about your encounter near the school from Section 2. It seemed like the best course of action, I guess?"
"That's not much of an explanation. You still haven't explained why... why was it the best course? What did I do wrong?" he asks, looking for confirmation that this has all been his fault.
"Nothing, you did nothing wrong... I – I just thought it be best for you to leave... for your sake." Misato explains, knowing that her answer is lacking even as she says it.
"For my sake... you've got to be kidding? What about everyone else? What about Rei, Ranma, Nabiki, and everyone else I'd be leaving behind?" Shinji says, his voice rising with each word.
"Them too... After talking with them I realized how strongly they felt about you and... And, I thought about what it would do to them if something actually happened to you. I... I..." she says, scrambling for an explanation that rings true.
"So, it was, what was best for me and them?" he asks, sounding calmer.
"Yeah, that's what I thought." she replies, sounding less and less sure of herself.
"And, what about you... Was it best for you, too?" he asks, trying to pressure her into being honest with him. He doesn't know why he's acting or feeling like this, but he's not going to worry about it now.
"I... I don't know." she replies, not able to say what she feels, she must. Yet, Shinji is determined to get her to do so, saying, "But, you must... I mean you where so willing to throw the weight of the world back on Rei's shoulders without hesitation... or did her well being never even come into play? I mean, you must have at least thought about how it would affect you... if not her."
Silence engulfs them once more, as no answer is offered to sedate Shinji's ire. Pulling into one of the NERV parking garages, the car pulls to a stop. Shutting the ignition, Misato speaks, "I was also thinking of myself... I didn't take Rei's feelings into consideration; I was more concerned with how I've felt over the past couple of days. I didn't like the worrying... the anger... the confusion or the guilt. I didn't like the way you and your actions where making me feel, and..." Misato hesitates, wondering why she's being so honest with him – her subordinate.
No, she corrects herself, he's also my roommate… my friend, I hope.
"And, what?" he asks, recapturing her attention.
"And... well... there's the Hedgehog's Dilemma?" she replies, struggling to find away to explain herself.
"The what?" asks Shinji, sounding more than a little confused.
"The closer we get the more we hurt." states Misato, smiling as she feels that she finally understands what Ritsuko's been trying to tell her.
"Okay?" he replies, thrown by her sudden shift in topic.
"Shinji, I care about you... I also care about Rei and don't ever think otherwise. I didn't like seeing you in pain and I didn't like how it made me feel. And, so..." she explains, pausing momentarily, Shinji finishes her thought, "And, so... you decided to end it before we got too close - Because closeness leads to pain, right?" Shinji finishes, beginning to understand what Misato's been going through since he entered her life.
"Something, like that, yeah." she replies, as slight trace of hope can be heard at Shinji's apparent understanding of how she feels.
"Well, then we don't get close." he states, a coldness to his tone.
"Huh, but..." sputters Misato, confused by his sudden shift in demeanor.
"But, nothing... despite how it'll create an awkward working environment and ruff living conditions. I think it best that you… no longer stand within arm's reach of me." Shinji states, putting his arm out, he slides away from her till he's an arms-length away.
"But, Shinji, I... I what...?" Misato begins, as his unconventional solution sinks in.
"Yeah, well, seeing as how we can't get close this is the "best course of action" - Don't you agree?" Shinji explains, a warm smile gracing his lips and a look of understanding in his eyes.
Misato starts to laugh softly, as she wipes away a few errant tears from her eyes, "All right, point taken."
"Good, so are we together on this?" Shinji asks, struggling to remain serious.
"Yeah, we're together... me and you. But, one thing, are hugs out of the question?" Misato asks, yet he wouldn't get a chance to answer as she envelops him in her smothering grasp. Shinji lets himself be held as he needs this just as much as she does.
Having composed themselves, they make their way to Ritsuko's office where they are greeted by an all-knowing smile; "Welcome back, Shinji. I take it you've come to realize just how important you really are around here and how completely lost we'd be without you, right?"
"Um… not really." he answers, thrown by her bluntness.
"Oh, well, now you know." Ritsuko flippantly replies, turning back to her monitor as Shinji looks to Misato for clarification.
"Don't mind her. That's just her way of saying she's glad you stayed." Misato explains, laughing at how much Ritsuko reminds her of that girl.
"Obviously, I am, but I always knew he'd be staying. That's why I have this…" clarifies Ritsuko, as she hands Shinji a new ID card.
"Thanks, I guess." he mutters, eyeballing the card as if it was his death sentence.
"Hey… If you knew he'd stay than why didn't you clue me in? Making me…" Misato shouts, burned by Ritsuko's apparent grasp of the situation.
"Making – you – come to an understanding of what exactly it was that you where feeling, because it wouldn't matter whether he stayed, or not, if you didn't accept the repercussions of having him in your life." Ritsuko explains, sounding like a mother scolding her child.
Misato, still fuming, simply stares at Ritsuko pissed at her audacity, assuming she has her figured out, thinking, God, how does she do that?
"You mean the Hedgehog's Dilemma, right?" injects Shinji.
"Exactly…! Well, at least, someone's paying attention." Ritsuko responds sounding snider than usual, which causes Misato to fume even more, muttering, "Yeah, yeah, Miss know-it-all."
"What was that?" Ritsuko asks sharply, standing behind Misato without her even noticing. Panicked, thanks to the sudden close proximity to her friend, Misato quickly makes her exit, shouting as she does, "Nothing, nothing… just saying thanks and all that!"
Shaking her head at her friend's antics, Ritsuko looks back into her office to find Shinji with a puzzled expression. "What's wrong, Shinji, you look like Misato, after hearing that a fridge full of beer isn't normal?"
Smiling slightly at Ritsuko's joke, he asks, "I was just wondering how you knew I'd stay? I mean… I didn't even know I'd stay! If it weren't for Na…"
"I knew because… you're just like your Father – You follow something threw to its end for better or worse…" Ritsuko injects, cutting Shinji off, who doesn't look the least bit happy about the comparison to Gendo but blushes as she concludes, "Besides, who could possibly want to leave behind so many beautiful ladies - am I right?"
Shinji blushes as to his surprise, when thought upon later, Nabiki's coy smile from the train station comes to mind. He's brought out of his musings as Ritsuko appears right in his face smiling, she asks, "Who's responsible for that type of smile?" referring to the all-so-noticeable goofy grin on his face.
"What… Um, yeah, thanks. I'll see ya." Shinji shouts, as he follows Misato's coarse of action and makes a hasty retreat.
"Your welcome, and remember you have a synch test in the morning!" Ritsuko shouts after him, as she watches him dash down the hall.
"Got it!" he yells, turning a corner and vanishing from sight. Laughing at how expressive he is with his emotions in spite of himself, Ritsuko says to herself, That was definitely not like your Father...
Having caught up with Misato, the duo is passing the locker room when Shinji nearly runs smack dab into Rei. An awkward silence fills the corridor till, surprisingly, Rei breaks the silence, saying, "You didn't leave."
"No, I realized, I didn't want to go." Shinji awkwardly replies, unnerved by the indifference in her tone.
"I would have handled everything perfectly well." Rei states, sounding slightly miffed with her male counterpart.
"I don't doubt that." he states, trying to sound complimentary, but coming across as terrified.
Following his reply, Rei simply walks away, till he gathers the courage to call out to her saying, "There's another reason I stayed."
Stopping, Rei looks back at him, which only serves to unnerve him slightly, but steeling his unruly nerves, he continues, "I have a promise to keep and… um… a fiancée I'd like to get to know."
Looking at him for a moment longer before continuing on her way, Rei replies, "I see."
Watching her walk away, Shinji exhales, as he had been holding his breath without even noticing it.
"Ah… you're so cute. I don't know when you're cuter… when you're smiling or when you're blushing." Misato says, pinching his cheeks.
"Stop teasing me. But, seriously - I think she was mad at me." Shinji replies worried that he has his worked cut out for him, if he hopes to have any type of relationship with Rei – least of all a romantic one.
"Don't worry about it. That's just Rei for you. She's like that with everybody." Misato states with an uneasy laugh.
"Really…?" Shinji asks, watching Rei as she gets farther and farther away.
"Anyway, let's go home." Misato announces, beaming with thoughts of their happy little home.
"To our home..." asks Shinji, his eyes full with a new found hope.
"Yes, our home." Misato replies, grabbing him by the arm, as she goes on and on about how cute her little Shin-chan was, blushing from all the female attention he received back at the station.
Laughing all the way to the parking lot, Shinji takes a moment to count his blessings – It could be worst - I could be the guy, Ryoga's after… I wonder where he is now.
Tokyo-3 Countryside…
Deep within the mountains surrounding Tokyo-3, a young man pushes onward. Feet sore, stomach empty, will strong; he reaches a clearing that reveals a cliff. Walking to its edge, he looks out into the valley below at Tokyo-3 and wonders to himself – This looks awfully familiar.
Sighing in despair, Ryoga realizes that - in hindsight – having Shinji wait with him would have been the best course of action.
Clearing his mind of any negativity, a look of newfound determination appears upon his face as he says aloud, "No time for looking back, must remain focused, only forward – look only forward."
Looking only forward with his goal clearly in mind, he takes one step forward and steps straight of the cliff's edge. Grabbing the edge, he quickly scurries back over to safety. Breathing heavily, sprawled out on the ground, he thinks, All right, maybe there's time to look back... and down from time to time.
Rising to his feet and heading back into the woods, Ryoga Hibiki continues undaunted as the end of his journey is within his grasp; "Soon, Ranma Saotome, soon you're fate will be dealt by my hands."
To Be Continued…
Author's Note: See Profile…