Chapter 12
The Measure of Strength and Heroes: Remembering a Will Passed Down
A day had passed since Team Seven encountered Zabuza. At the moment the boys were gone training, trying their hardest to gain mastery of their chakra control while Sakura was guarding the bridge builder. Amari was impressed by her fellow kunoichi; she had expected maybe a few days of hard work for her to master the technique, yet all she had needed was an afternoon to really gain fine control of her chakra.
One possible reason for her ability could be previous training since the bell test. Her questions after Kakashi passing them seemed to hint at an interest in performing it. However, Amari wasn't unwilling to believe Sakura learned it within the first day of training. Through her Academy scores she revealed a latent pool of potential to become a great shinobi. All she had to do was learn how to turn the lessons of the Academy into action and increase her physical energies and she would become a force to be reckoned with.
As for the boys, they were at different levels of control. Sasuke was currently ahead of Naruto, but her knucklehead wasn't too far behind him in gaining control of his chakra. Both were pushing to succeed, and with their rivalry fueling their desire to surpass each other she was certain they'd succeed by the weeks end.
Today, however, the sun was setting, which meant the boys would be back soon…if they didn't knock themselves unconscious. Amari, on the other hand, was in the midst of studying since she was still recovering. Several books and scrolls laid opened up all around her, forming a sort of semicircle of information to absorb—or a diabolical séance summoning circle.
All I'm missing is a cauldron of green liquid and a pointy black hat, she mused.
Her eyes darted between the information as her arms struggled to keep books and scrolls held up thanks to her weighted seals. Troublesome in every way in her opinion, but if the training worked then it'd be worth it. I just hope the lessening of the strain is more of my muscles growing stronger and less of them going numb.
She really couldn't tell right now, but ignorance was bliss sometimes.
Tazuna and his family were kind enough to let them stay on the upper floor of their home instead of camping outside for the duration of the mission. This was where Amari made her base camp of studying, currently nose deep in a scroll about chakra control. She still hadn't learned the Water Walking Technique, it being her goal to at the least be able to walk a minute on the surface of the water by the end of the week. Unfortunately, for the time being, she wasn't allowed to actually put her knowledge into practice, so any real training with the technique was off the table until she was back to full strength.
I need to be at one hundred percent when we finally face Zabuza. I need to become strong enough to stop him from hurting Mr. Tazuna and my team.
Studying while maintaining a leaf connected to her forehead and two more attached to the back of her hands was the only training she could do right now that wouldn't injure her. Doing this did require her to draw on her chakra, but it was nothing significant enough to leave her like the boys would be when they returned from training.
"Hard at work I see," a female voice called from behind her.
Amari half turned to see Tsunami looking down at her with a smile. She smiled back and earned a small laugh from the woman when she noticed the leaf connected to her forehead.
"I can learn a lot from reading. The leaves are to help me work on my chakra control since I can't go train like the others yet," she explained.
"I see. Tazuna and Sakura just returned with food, so dinner will be ready in an hour."
"Okay. I'll start packing up my mess then." Amari looked to all her books and scrolls. "It'll take me a little while to get all of this packed up."
Tsunami nodded and left the room and the young girl to clean up her mess. I can see how it is meant to work in my head, she thought while bookmarking her books and rolling up her scrolls. I get how the chakra is meant to be distributed, but in practice I know it'll be harder than it seems. To be consistently changing the percentages of chakra would be difficult on its own; the real problem came with doing so while in the heat of combat. Until it became an unconscious action, like breathing, her mind would be split between trying to stay above water and trying to fight someone.
So much room for error. She frowned. My focus will be pulled in two separate directions, lowering my efficiency in both tasks. How long would it take for her to make it second nature? How much time did she need? Would the remaining days of the week be enough? Amari shook her head. Second nature won't happen so quickly. I need to focus on lasting a minute on the water. That was a goal she could succeed in, and if she was lucky she wouldn't have to fight on the water anytime soon.
Amari packed the remainder of her scrolls and books up but paused when she got to her final item.
What was once in the middle of all her books and scrolls was a framed picture of her mother and herself after graduation that they had taken. Kurenai stood behind her, her hands resting on both of Amari's shoulders as she smiled brightly. Amari herself was beaming, her bandana no longer covering her eye, revealing the scar beneath it. Around her neck was her ninja headband; the source of the happiness and pride her past self was beaming about.
I miss you. She missed training with her. She missed the comfortable silences as they sat together while she put braids in her wild hair. She missed hearing her laugh and call her little one every day. She missed Konoha and all the people she cared about that were still there, but it was Kurenai she missed the most.
All in all, the young girl was homesick. But she knew her first time away from her home and her mom would go this way, which was why she brought the picture with her. Having this small piece of her, being able to see her mother's smile and knowing that she was okay with her team helped her to conquer the homesick feeling.
I hope you aren't worrying too much, Mom. It's been almost a full week since we left home…and we still have another week until Zabuza will show up, plus whatever time is left afterwards to finish the construction on the bridge.
If things went smoothly they'd be back to Konoha after being gone for almost half a month. If things didn't go smoothly they'd be gone a full month…or dead.
We'll stop Gatō and Zabuza from getting their way and then we'll be on our way…She rubbed the edge of the frame with her thumb. I love you. I'll be home soon.
Amari finished packing her stuff up and headed down for dinner. Sure enough the boys came in from training with what she could only describe as a stench of a full-blown competitive rivalry.
They took their battle against one another from training to who could eat the most—a grotesque sight, to say the least. The amount of food they shoveled into their mouths, it almost made her lose her appetite. She sat at the corner of the table between Kakashi and Tazuna. On the opposite side of Kakashi was Naruto and across from him was Sasuke. Inari was seated next to Sasuke with Sakura on the opposite end of the table opposite of Tazuna.
It took a lot of will power to ignore the two boys and their disgusting eating and table manners, but as soon as she finished her meal Amari got up and began helping Tsunami with the dishes. It was a familiarity that reminded her of home when she helped her own mother with dishes, and it also helped to block out the gross eating display.
In the back of her mind she could hear her mother humming a soft tune, granting Amari some peace as she followed along to her melody.
That all came crashing down once the boys made themselves puke from eating too much, too fast.
That's it! A hint of fury sparked in her. "Oh for the love of…Boys, do you make a habit of throwing up your food when your guests? If that's the case, I'm never inviting you over for dinner."
"I have to eat," Sasuke declared, glaring across the table at Naruto.
"And I have to eat more than him. It's the only way I'll get strong enough to beat him," Naruto argued, meeting his intense glare with a competitive grin.
"Perhaps, but puking helps no one," Kakashi said simply.
Amari groaned at their arguments and glares. Why were most boys so troublesome? Why couldn't they be more like her Shika? He's pretty troublesome, too, she mused, frowning. He's so lazy; it's a wonder how he even gets out of bed each morning. Though, I bet Aunt Yoshino has something to do with that.
Yoshino Nara's ire was not something any person wanted to earn. Ever.
Shrugging off her thoughts, Amari created two Shadow Clones who promptly walked over to the other two and slapped them in the back of their heads.
Ten pounds of back swing each.
"You're cleaning up your own puke. It is not Mr. Tazuna's or Miss Tsunami's job to clean up after you two."
"Bu—"
The glare the clones gave both boys shut them up immediately. "I'm sorry. Obviously the way other me spoke caused you to believe this was a negotiation," one clone said.
"Let me rephrase it for you two idiots," continued the other. "You two will clean up your own puke, and you'll do it immediately. Understood?" Sasuke slunk in his chair in defeat and Naruto nodded vigorously in fear. The three Amari's smiled. "Great! We'll grab your plates and bowls so you can focus on cleaning up your mess."
Wisely the pair did not argue, though there were grumblings of discontent as they cleaned up their puke.
"And you said she's the shyest of your group?" Tazuna asked to Kakashi, humored by the scene.
"You would have to see her out of battle and off a mission…And probably make sure those two aren't fighting with one another," Kakashi replied.
Soon after all the others finished eating, Tsunami kindly dismissed Amari and her clones since she was still a guest. It wasn't until Sakura brought attention to a ripped photo hanging on a wall in the kitchen that things really started to unravel themselves. There was no big fight or slamming of doors, just the suffocating silence of sorrow left behind by a tender wound.
Inari was the first to leave without saying a single word to anyone. Tsunami followed after him, calling his name as it was made clear to each of the shinobi just by the actions alone what the source of the pain was. He must have lost his father…
Tazuna, without any coaxing, began to tell the group the story of the person the Land of Waves once called a hero…the man who hadn't been the blood father of Inari, but had become his father in everything except blood.
"Back then, Inari was never without a smile or laughter. But then…" Tazuna's eyes welled over with tears as he grunted to try and keep his voice in check. Despite his attempts, tears rolled over and fell to the table. "All of that ended. He never laughs or smiles anymore. Ever since the day the word courage was stolen from this island. We were left feeling powerless, hopeless. Inari has suffered ever since that day, ever since it happened."
Tazuna continued his story of how the man came into the village and how he met Inari. Apparently some bullies took Inari's dog Pochi away and tossed him in the water despite the dog's inability to swim. As Inari was stuck in fear and sadness because he had yet to learn to swim, the bullies kicked him in as well.
The cruelty of kids never ceased to amaze Amari after seeing how everyone ridiculed Naruto and from her own experiences with bullies. Within her heart she could feel her anger beginning to surge at their cruelness. Her hands slowly clenched into tight fists until her knuckles were white and her nails were digging into the palms of her hands…Then all the tension released when a hand rested on top of her head.
Amari glanced up and found Kakashi looking down at her. He gave her his signature eye smile, and with those two gestures he guided her heart away from the darkness back towards the warm light. Thanks, Sensei.
The bridge builder continued the story of how Kaiza, a simple fisherman and eventual stepfather of Inari, saved the boy from drowning. From that day forward they were inseparable.
Just like me and Mom. The only difference was Kurenai hadn't saved her from drowning in water; she saved her from drowning in the darkness of despair.
Inari followed in Kaiza's footsteps like a real father and son and then when the town needed him most, Kaiza became something more. The floodgates opened and the water was rising, the result of which would lead to the lower district becoming flooded and uninhabitable. Kaiza had jumped into the rushing currents and swam across it until he was able to tie the rope he had to the floodgate. Using the rope the people were able to shut the floodgate and save the lower district from catastrophic destruction.
He became a hero of the town and Inari looked up to him even more, but then Gatō showed up. Naturally, he made an example out of the boy's father to destroy the fighting spirit of the people and keep a revolt from taking place. Without their hero, the man who inspired them to have courage, none of them would stand up to his disgusting abuse of power.
Kaiza was strong willed to the end and didn't break, not even after they broke his body—a strong man for being a simple fisherman.
A man with a will all others should aspire to.
Inari unfortunately was there and saw it all happen. With his spirit crushed and the despair Gatō spread infecting the entire Land, he turned into the boy he now was; someone who believed there was no use in fighting no matter how bad things were for the village…someone who believed the strong always over powered the weak and true heroes didn't exist.
"It's not right," Amari said quietly.
Naruto suddenly stood up but his legs gave out and caused him to fall straight to the floor.
"What are you doing, Naruto?" Sakura asked, a bit exasperated at his antics.
"You need to take the day off. No more training. You've used too much chakra, Naruto. If you push yourself any harder you could end up dead," Kakashi warned.
Amari watched on in awe as Naruto, with aching limbs and a shaky body, pushed himself back up.
"I'm going to prove it."
Tazuna made a questioning noise next to her as her team watched their teammate stand up with his legs quivering under him. He was lucky to be standing at all right now; his body had finally been able to register all the sore muscles and wasn't going to allow him to move around much more.
"Prove what?" Sakura asked.
"I'll prove tha- that it's true. That in this world…there are real heroes!" Naruto declared.
His will was another Amari believed all should aspire to. Unfortunately, his body today was going to win the battle between mind over physically pushed to the limit body.
"Naruto." The boy looked to Amari. "You've got five seconds until you collapse."
Just as she predicted, his body collapsed against his wishes.
With a sigh, Amari got up and helped the knucklehead up, allowing him to use her body as a brace. "I'll bring him to bed. Mr. Tazuna, please thank Miss Tsunami for a great meal and thank you for buying the food." Amari gave a faint bow of her head then began half helping, half dragging her friend with her up to their room.
"So, real heroes huh?"
"You bet, Amari. I'll prove it."
"Then I'll prove it with you. I won't stand by and let everyone give up hope," Amari said.
And she meant it too. She would not allow Gatō to have his way any longer.
Three days later
Amari walked cautiously across the surface of the water back towards the dock where she had originally jumped down. It had taken her the last three days of training to finally get this technique, but she finally did it. She walked on water for more than a minute without failing. She still really had to focus on the chakra she was channeling to keep herself from falling in, but she hadn't fallen in like she did the previous days.
It was an improvement and an accomplishment all in one surprise package.
Thankfully she was allowed to take the seals off for this particular training and had packed extra clothes. If she hadn't, she'd still be dripping wet from all the times she fell in the water. Now it was just a matter of making it second nature. That'll come in time. For now I'm happy to even be able to pull this off.
When she first started training to perform the technique, she tried to maintain two clones as they continued her training with Earth Style: Headhunter Jutsu. They weren't training incredibly hard, though that hadn't mattered much in the end. The split of chakra and focus was too much for her to handle and ended up with two dispelled clones and an unwanted bath.
No one learned a new elemental chakra in a week, or even a few weeks. It would take time and more intense training without being distracted by other tasks to finally successfully perform the technique. Mastery over a new chakra nature would take even longer, but hopefully with the help of her clones it wouldn't take her twenty or thirty years.
In the shinobi world, living long lives wasn't exactly the norm for everyone. If one wanted to live a long life, they needed to learn as quickly as possible and gain the strength necessary to defend themselves. Or at least that was what Amari believed. It was why she trained and studied as hard as she could and as often as she did.
She needed to gain the strength necessary to protect her comrades and defeat Kasai. She needed to become stronger and smarter so she could fulfill Ryu's last wish and then help her friends fulfill their dreams. Everything she was doing, it wasn't to become the strongest shinobi their world had ever seen or for personal glory; everything she put herself through was for her friends. For them she would put herself through hell if it meant they lived long lives and fulfilled their dreams. For them she would sacrifice herself if it meant saving them from the same fate as Ryu.
It was her friends and family she lived and fought for…and it was for them she would die if she had to choose between their lives and her own.
Night had fallen over the Land of Waves and the boys were still out climbing trees while Sakura and their sensei were inside with Tazuna and his family. Sasuke and Naruto were progressing quite well; in fact she was certain they would succeed in reaching the tops of the trees soon.
Amari reached the dock and jumped back on it. Tomorrow I'll be guarding Mr. Tazuna with Sakura so I won't have time to train with this anymore. She turned back around to look at the water. But at least I'm getting closer. After I learn this I can focus more on perfecting my jutsus.
"Looks like you've gotten the basics of this technique down as well. Good work, Amari," Kakashi greeted from behind her, the closing of a door following his voice.
"Thank you, Sensei," Amari thanked as she gazed out at the waves and the sky. "Do I need to put the seals back on?"
"No," he answered, joining her at her side. "You'd have to take them off tomorrow anyways." A comfortable silence fell over them both for a moment, the pair simply listening to the waves sloshing below them as they stared up at the stars or the reflection of the stars in the water.
Kakashi was the one to break the silence. "We never got to talk privately." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned his gaze down to her. "Are you okay?"
"…Depends on the moment. I have moments where I miss Mom badly, but at times like that I look at our picture and it passes."
But that also wasn't what Kakashi was asking about. He was asking after the reason why she wanted to talk privately in the first place. Amari wanted to talk about it…but the words were hard to form. She had so many emotions locked away right now that she was worried letting them out would lead to a chain reaction of explosive emotions.
The one solace she had was the peaceful environment surrounding them and the comforting presence of her sensei.
"What happened before I woke up?" Kakashi asked.
Straight to the point, but that was Kakashi's way. He offered comfort first and then targeted whatever the heart of the issue was head-on.
"When I was trying to figure out the Chakra Transferring Technique," she started slowly, "I nearly gave up because I couldn't figure it out. I didn't know what to do and the scroll I had didn't give as much information as I thought I needed. Nothing was falling into place like I needed it to. Maybe it was exhaustion, or maybe I was too worried to focus. I don't know. But…"
After a few brief internal moments of struggle, she exhaled a sad sigh. I can't keep dancing around this. "A familiar voice from before the orphanage suddenly spoke to me."
Kakashi's eyebrow raised in surprise. "A memory?"
She nodded and sat down with her legs dangling over the edge. His surprise was warranted. Years had passed since the faithful day she woke up at the orphanage and in that time she never once remembered a single memory from her past. Not even returning to Konoha triggered anything. No buildings reminded her of something from her past, no people or smells reawakened her dormant memories. Part of her always hoped she would remember even a small fragment of her past life eventually…but hoping for it and believing it would happen were polar opposite concepts.
Remembering her cousin's voice was the very first glimpse she had at someone from her past life…and it made her heart ache more than she could have ever prepared for. The ache in her chest made it abundantly clear to her how important he had been to her that a simple past memory of his voice was enough to almost break her down into uncontrollable sobs. This person…her cousin, they must have been so close.
She missed him.
Her sensei took a seat next to her but remained in respectful silence so she could gather all of her thoughts.
"I didn't…I didn't get to see them or hear their name…" Two points that made the aching in her chest even worse. She so desperately wished to know him again, to see a familiar figure from her past so she could remember him…but all she had was his soothing voice and no real memory of who he was.
"I knew his voice, though. He called me his little cousin, and based on the auditory memory I would say he was an Uchiha as well."
She fell silent after that. Dormant pains she had been ignoring resurfaced and made it even harder to speak than it already was. Kakashi didn't break the quiet. He seemed to be gathering his thoughts while his young student tried her hardest to restrain her emotions again.
Finally, Kakashi spoke, his voice softer than usual. "It hurts, doesn't it?"
Amari didn't hesitate to nod in confirmation. It wouldn't have mattered if she tried anyways. Kakashi didn't need a Byakugan eye to see right through the Barrier Jutsu surrounding the pain the memory caused her. The Nara hugged her arms around her body in an attempt to provide herself some warmth against the cold, empty feeling in her heart where she knew her cousin was meant to be.
"All these years…I never had a connection to my past. No memories of my old home, no memories of the life I used to have…nothing of my family. I hoped to one day remember, I really did, but now that I do…" Her fingers curled around the fabric of her tank top and tears welled in her eyes. "I can feel my heart tearing apart inside."
She had always known remembering anything would hurt…but she never expected it to be this bad. And it's only an auditory memory. What kind of pain will it cause me to actually remember his name, his face or any moments between us? Amari reached up and untied her bandana to lay it in her lap. She brushed her hand against the purple fabric, flattening it out all the way as she looked at it with a longing expression.
"I can't remember anything about him other than his voice, not even how close we were, but I can feel semblances of it here," she said, resting a hand over her heart. "The feelings are distant, almost as if they aren't even my own, but I can feel it. And the worst part about it is the day I remember him is the day I lose him."
By regaining her memories, she was regaining her bonds with them…and then they would be severed. No matter how amazing they were, no matter how much they loved her and she loved them, her family was dead. Nothing she could regain from her memories would bring them back, and her memories would finally force her to feel them as the people she loved rather than complete strangers.
"Sensei…I'm scared of remembering," she whispered hauntingly. "…I'm frightened of what kind of pain it'll bring me. Of the grief I know is waiting for me. I'm afraid…" she choked on a sob. "I'm afraid of how alone I will feel without them in my life. My hands tremble…and my heart feels cold when I think about what these memories might do to me. And I- I'm afraid I won't be strong enough to fight it."
A gentle hand rested on her shoulder. Its warm comfort easing the trembles and quakes her emotions were causing. Slowly, her tear filled eyes lifted to meet the reassuring eye of her sensei. "I won't lie and tell you that it'll be easy if you do remember your past. Remembering will hurt. But no matter how much it hurts, know that you will not have to shoulder the burden alone. This team, Kurenai, even lazy Shikamaru will be here to support you when or if that day ever comes. Never forget that."
Through the aches of pain in her heart, through the lingering fears of what pain was to come, warmth flooded from her heart to crash through the rest of her body. A genuine and happy smile formed on her lips. "Thank you, Sensei."
Kakashi eye smiled back and let his hand return to his side.
Amari tied her bandana back around her forehead then went on to explain everything she could to Kakashi about what her cousin had told her. After she finished, the pair sat in relative silence. Her sensei seemed to be mulling over what her cousin had told her while Amari was gazing up at stars wondering if her cousin was looking down on her right now.
"Hmm. Definitely sounds like you being nose deep in a book," Kakashi said at length, his voice full of jest.
Amari laughed lightly in return. "I suppose I didn't change that much."
"We never found anything on you when you came into the village," he continued, turning serious once more. "Maybe now with a name we may have a chance to see who you're related to."
"…I don't know." She didn't want to risk a sudden flood of memories when she knew she wasn't strong enough to handle them. "I'm not sure I could handle learning more right now. Plus I don't want Mom to think I'm trying to replace her with the memories of my past. She's my mother now."
And I have you as something close to a father to me, she added mentally to be cautious. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable or feel any sort of obligation to act a certain way other than how he already did with her. It was the reason why she fought against the need to tackle hug him for his warm reassurance.
He gave her another eye smile and ruffled her hair before standing up. "I understand. If you do ever want to know, all you need to do is ask. It won't change anything about Kurenai being your mother. She'll always love you," Kakashi said before leaving.
His words struck her already vulnerable heart hard. And I'll always love her. She took me in when I had nothing without asking for anything in return. All because she had a good feeling about me. The young girl wiped away the one tear that escaped her fight. I love her so much.
She sat on the dock listening to the waves roll into the dock—her heart feeling far lighter than it had thanks to Kakashi—until she heard tiny footsteps trying to sneak past her. "Inari, I can hear your feet creaking against the wood."
The feet halted immediately. Thus far she had yet to personally speak to the boy, but that was mostly on purpose. His poor opinion of them and constant sullen mood bothered her immensely. He was a boy who had lost the one man who ever gave him courage, yet he was squandering that man's will by giving up on ever changing anything.
His bond with Kaiza had been incredibly strong, one on what she would guess was of the same level of love she felt for Kurenai. What she couldn't understand was how he could give up. If I lost mom…She would never let herself forget everything good about her and what she fought for. She would take on her will and do everything possible to make the person responsible for her death pay.
What she wouldn't do was cower in fear or give up until she was either dead or the person who stole Kurenai from her laid at her feet, bloodied and broken, begging for her mercy. Then, and only then, she would kill them.
Just like what I'm going to do to Kasai.
"How much did you hear?" Amari asked, trying to steer herself away from the dark place her mind trailed to, as it seemed to do when she saw Inari.
"All of it," he whispered from behind her.
"Good."
A sound of confusion escaped the boy as she stood up. "What do you mean 'good'?"
"You heard what my cousin told me about not giving up, so maybe it'll sink in with you." Sometimes it only took a nudge to get someone to break out of the funk they were in. Maybe hearing her conversation with Kakashi, his words of care and her cousin's would make it sink in.
"Don't you get it? There isn't any use fighting against Gatō; he'll just kill you all!" the boy cried from behind her.
Or not, Amari deadpanned internally.
He sure liked to act tough when he told them to give up, but when it came down to it he was just a child full of pain who was using anger as a defense mechanism. Somewhere deep in this boy, locked away behind his pain and anger was the will of his father, waiting to bust free and let him live again without being held back by his fear.
I know it's in there somewhere. I know because I've been where he is right now and I would still be without mom, Kakashi-sensei, Lord Third, Uncle Shikaku, Shika, Iruka-sensei and Naruto coming into my life. Amari knew what he felt, the anger, the anguish, the suffocating sorrow. She had been in that dark place before, had fought her way out of it with the help of the people in her life.
But had I never met them, had I been left alone in that forest two years ago, what would I have turned into? Who would I have become? Would I be like him? Or would I have turned into someone like Zabuza?
The scariest part of that question was how easy she could see herself turning into either one of them.
Not willing to stand by and let this child walk down that path, she decided to continue in her attempt to pull him from the darkness just as Kurenai had.
"You're right, with that kind of attitude I would fail everyone I love and die in the process. But I refuse to stand aside and let Gatō's tainted hand grip this island any longer. All he has is his greed and his money to buy people to do his dirty work. Without that he's just a man, mortal and fallible just like everyone else. Even better, he's a man who no one will ever miss. That just means he'll disappear from memory forever as soon as he's gone.
"I won't die so easily. I have a mission to fulfill here, a promise to keep and warrior within me that will never let me give up. Even if I'm severely wounded and barely clinging onto life, I will continue to stand up and cling to those scraps with every bit of willpower I have left until I fulfill the promise I made my friend."
"You- you talk about never giving up and fighting like you are some sort of invincible hero, but you know nothing of what it means to fight Gatō or his thugs. So what Gatō is mortal, it doesn't matter when his entire army will just beat you down and kill you." She could hear his anger rising in his voice, potent anger he let out in his final outburst to her. "You're no hero; you're just some stupid girl who knows nothing about this land or what it means to suffer!"
His cowardice and ignorant assumptions incensed Amari's heart faster like a spark to oil. Before it could get out of control, she reined in her overwhelming fury with a reminder of Inari's emotional state. He was just a kid, a kid who lost someone very important to him and had been fed everything he was currently telling her…words similar to the kind she used to tell herself.
Stop fighting, there's no point. You'll never become strong enough to beat him. You're too weak. Too pathetic.
It took her a long time to see any kind of worth in herself beyond being a useless, pathetic waste of life. The fight was hard, but if I could do it, anyone can.
Being soft with Inari wasn't ever going to solve anything. The only way to get through to him was proving she knew what he was experiencing more than he realized.
"Inari…" Amari hesitated to continue. She wanted to help him, but talking about Ryu and Kasai and that day hadn't gotten easier in two years. It still hurt, still made her yearn to hold them in her arms again…still made her wish she could go back in time and stop them with her new power. To stop them from fighting so she could tell them what would happen, get them to understand the pain that moment would cause them all…and if nothing else, convince her younger self that she couldn't save Kasai, no matter how much she wished to keep him from turning his back on them.
I know losing him would still fracture my world…but at least Ryu wouldn't have had to die.
Inhaling a deep breath, Amari pushed her hesitation away to keep on her path, but she still felt her features and heart falling as the words formed on her tongue. "When I was ten years old, the only two people I had in this world, the only two people who gave my existence any meaning were killed right in front of me. One of them died in my arms."
As she stared up at the stars, Ryu's stoic features and his smile came to mind. The warmth they once provided filled her heart…and then his dying breaths stole it away and left behind a cold, dark void behind.
I'm…I'm sorry, Ryu. For everything.
Kasai's big, bright grin came next. It left her with a sad smile on her face. Your grin was so infectious…I'm sorry I couldn't stop that imposter from killing it. She'd never forget the friend he had been and how they once looked after each other. Memories of their days training in the forest, nights when they were squished together but she was able to cuddle close to them both were memories she refused to let go of.
The Kasai of now had taken both of her friend's lives, and for that atrocity he would regret ever being born.
"They were killed by the same person, and one was taken before we could do anything to save him. The other died fighting to protect me when I couldn't do anything to help." Because I was too weak and too emotional to understand what Ryu did.
A mistake she refused to make again.
"As he died in my arms, I cried into his shoulder and wished I could have been strong enough to do anything except sit there and watch him die. And as I cried for the people I loved leaving me, my friend didn't. He used his last moments to grant me the encouragement and the power to keep fighting. To keep moving forward so I could see a better life for us."
Right up until his final moments he was a great friend. No matter how much time passed, he would always hold a special place in her heart.
"I have no memory of who I was before I was seven. Those two became my family; they gave me my name, people to love and care for…and now they're gone."
She turned around and began walking towards the door where Inari was standing, his head bowed mournfully. "My family—who I still don't remember—were all killed in a massacre. Now I have a very small memory of the voice of my cousin and it tears my heart apart, but it also in some ways makes me feel stronger because I know I'm meant to inherit his strong will.
"You say there is no point in fighting because we will all be killed. You may be right. We may all be killed trying to fight."
Amari stopped next to him and looked down to him and met his eyes with a meaningful look that conveyed her feelings. "But I will die fighting for what I believe in before I bend to fear and cowardice again. Besides." She rested her hand on his bucket hat and gave him a small smile. "Evil only prevails when heroes stop trying to fight it. Your father was a hero and a hero's spirit only ever dies when we forget who and what they fought for."
She let her hand fall back to her side and continued on into the house to leave him to his thoughts. When she looked up upon entering she saw Kakashi leaning against the wall next to the door, clearly in position to eavesdrop on their conversation.
Instead of speaking any words, he nodded to her and motioned to follow him into the kitchen where dinner was waiting. Inari joined them soon after in his usual quiet presence.
"Sensei, Naruto and Sasuke are late again. Do you think they're okay?" Sakura asked during dinner.
If I know those two, they'll climb all night if we allow them to and stay asleep out in the forest. They were aware of their limits, but that didn't stop them from trying to get past them the same as her. Difference is I have a general idea of when I should stop. They'll keep pushing no matter what.
Before Kakashi could answer, the door to the kitchen slid open, revealing Sasuke and Naruto. Both were clearly exhausted, to the point the blond of the pair needed Sasuke to brace his weight to keep him on his feet. The pair were covered in scratches and sporting a few visible bruises, but by the victorious smile on the knucklehead's face spoke volumes.
"What have you two been up to? You look like something the cat dragged in," Tazuna said.
Amari stifled a giggle, her thoughts immediately being drawn back to Tora. Without that feline they probably wouldn't even be here right now.
Whether that was a good thing or not was still up for debate.
"We both made it," Naruto declared. "We climbed all the way to the top of the highest trees."
"Good." Kakashi congratulated, nodding to them both. "Now that your training is complete, you'll both be serving as bodyguards for Tazuna."
"Woohoo!" Naruto cheered and pumped his fists into the air. The sudden action threw Sasuke off balance on already tired legs and made him collapse backward onto his butt.
"Argh! You are such a loser!" the Uchiha groaned.
Everyone laughed at their expense and the two kunoichi helped them up so they could take their seats and get some food in their bellies. Much to Amari's appreciation, they didn't have a disgusting show of manners this time. Four plates each later, Naruto had his head resting on the table with his eyes closed and a satisfied smile on his face.
"In just a few days the bridge will be finished. I have all of you to thank for that," Tazuna said.
Tsunami picked up the last empty plate on the table to finish dishes. "You've all done wonderful, but you still need to be careful," she said. She was right, of course. Zabuza and whoever that boy was were still out there, and so was Gatō. Even with their training they still had to be cautious against the two rogue ninjas.
They knew nothing of the boy except for his precise throwing capabilities and his speed.
With my Byakugan and my Sharingan I may be able to see him move, and with the Body Flicker I may be able to keep up. Emphasis on the word may.
She was fast, but it wouldn't matter how well she could read his movements if she was unable to make her body react quick enough to dodge or attack him.
"I've been meaning to ask you this but I haven't had the chance until now. Why did you stay and protect me even after you found out I lied to bring you here?" Tazuna questioned.
"Those who stray from the path of justice have no courage, but under the wing of a strong leader, cowardice cannot survive," Kakashi said. "That was a quote from the First Hokage, the founder of our Village."
The faint sound of tears plopping onto the table snapped Amari's attention to the source. Inari?
"But why?" he whimpered.
But why what? She wasn't sure if he was questioning why under a strong leader ended cowardice or something else entirely. To her the quote made a lot of sense, but then again she had grown up differently than he had.
Naruto opened his eyes and turned to the boy with a confused look on his face. "Hmm? What'd you say?"
Inari rose out of his seat and slammed his hands onto the table, silencing the rest of the room and ending their calm conversation. "All of this stupid training is just a waste of time! Gatō has an entire army that will beat you down and destroy you!" He shot a glare at every single member of Team Seven. "You all keep saying these cool things, but they don't mean anything at all! No matter what you do the strong always win and the weak always lose!"
Amari scoffed at his declaration. Apparently nothing she had said to him had sunk in his thick skull, but if she had to bludgeon a bit harder that was fine.
She could bludgeon very hard.
"Is that so?"
"Amari," Kakashi chided, a warning in his tone.
"Not this time, Sensei. I can't take it anymore." Amari slammed her own hands on the table as she stood up, earning her startled glances from her team. "I'm sick of you disrespecting my team and all of our hard work because you've given up! You know what kid, we all die someday. You can choose to live your life crying and believing what you do, but I will not stand by and let Gatō continue this crap. Even if I die, at least I tried to do something! All you're doing is standing in a fire and complaining that it's hot!"
"Easy, Amari." Kakashi grabbed her arm but she tugged it away as all her emotions were taking hold.
This boy had the nerve to question everything they were doing to help his grandfather and his country. Every single one of them had put their lives on the line to protect Tazuna from Zabuza, and ever since they had been working as hard as they could to become stronger for the sake of defeating the threat keeping their land in a stranglehold.
And what was he doing? He was telling them to quit, that nothing they were doing meant anything. That no matter how hard they tried they would never succeed in defeating Gatō or Zabuza. He was crying and complaining instead of keeping hope alive for a better future.
It was infuriating.
"No Sensei, this is total crap! The weak do not remain weak and the strong don't always triumph! The only time people like Gatō and Zabuza are successful is when others give up; that's why Mr. Tazuna is working on this bridge and why I'd die willingly to protect him!" Amari jabbed her finger at the boy but continued to stare at her sensei in her anger. "He sits here each night with that sullen look on his face, squandering the will his father wished to be passed on when he could be just as strong as any of us."
She turned to the boy, who was in shock at someone finally raising their voice to him. "How can you just accept this fate?" Her question was mostly rhetorical, but if he had an answer Amari wanted to hear it. "Is this really the life you want? One of fear and pain? Can you really accept this life you live willingly? To just sit back and let someone walk over you?" She motioned to his mother and grandfather with a nod of her head. "To let some thug walk over your family? To be told you are nothing but the weakest link and be okay? Don't you miss the smiling, the laughter and the happiness you once had? Doesn't the memory of those you loved and love push you forward?"
Was this what I would have been like had I given up? Inari disappeared from her vision and was replaced by a younger version of herself, one wearing the same sad look as she sat in quiet submission over the fact she would never grow stronger. This child, he was like staring at a negative reality of herself where she had given up completely.
How can he just quit?! Amari's gaze fell to her hands—hands she did not realize were clenching the table or starting to have a green hue form around them.
He was giving up so easily and acted so self-righteous about it. His entire homeland lived in poverty and essentially were cattle for a slaughter when Gatō felt the need to make an example, and he had the gall to just give up. No, not just him. His entire homeland had given up. Every single one of them carried on with the same mindset, fueling everyone who ever had hope to quit before they even tried to make a change.
Gatō was a poison that needed to be eradicated. He infected this land and its people until they were just drones he could dispose of for his own entertainment without consequences.
He made them believe they're just pathetic, wastes of life that will never be anything except his toys to play with.
That final thought drove Amari over the edge. She slammed her fist into the table and let the dull boom speak louder than her words ever could. "How. Can you. Just. Give. Up?!" she seethed.
A firm hand snatched her arm, this time tight enough to make it impossible for her to pull free. "Amari, you're releasing your chakra shroud." Kakashi's firm voice cut through her emotions and right to Amari, snapping her out of her overwhelming anger. With a glance to her arms she saw the green chakra shroud formed around her, black tips flickering like candle flames. "Count to ten, take a deep breath and calm down. Now."
Amari followed his order to the very letter. She counted to ten, breathed in deeply and reined her emotions in. By the time she reached ten the shroud was already gone. Yelling won't solve anything, she decided as she sat down silently. If the boy wanted to remain like this, that was his own choice. I've already made my choice and I won't back away because he already gave up.
"Amari's right," Naruto said as he laid his head back down. "You can just speak for yourself. That's not how it's going to be for us."
"Why don't you be quiet?! Just looking at you makes me sick!" Her anger began to build again at his insolence. "Always laughing and playing around like a bunch of stupid kids! You don't know what it's like to suffer and be treated like dirt!"
That was one line too far.
Amari didn't care if someone insulted her personally, but attacking the people she cared for was something she refused to stand for. For him to accuse Naruto of knowing nothing of suffering just like he did to her nearly made her snap instantaneously. If not for Kakashi's hand resting on her forearm under the table trying to keep her calm, she doubted she'd be able to hold herself back.
The pain Inari felt made him believe he was the only one who knew what it meant to suffer. And because they actually found a way to smile and laugh again meant their suffering was nothing compared to his.
He was a fool.
Instead of exploding on him again, Amari stood up calmly, tucked her chair in and made her way towards the door. Staying any longer would only continue to entice this argument to continue until everyone was mad or emotional. These people were kind enough to give them a place to stay and food to eat during their time here; the least she could do was walk away before she escalated it further.
Before Amari stepped out of the room, she stopped and looked over her shoulder at everyone sitting at the table, but mostly at Inari. "You know nothing of Naruto or his suffering." Her voice was quiet, but it cut through the silent room. "That boy has suffered the ridicule of an entire village for a reason he isn't to blame for, but instead of complaining about it he kept fighting to prove he was worthy of the same kindness as any other human being.
"You think that because we smile and laugh and joke that we haven't suffered? You think you're the only one who understands the dark, suffocating loneliness and the sorrow that comes with it?" Her frown deepened. "Open your eyes, Inari. We smile and laugh and joke because that's how we combat our fears, our anger, our sadness, our loneliness."
Somber looks appeared on the faces of every single adult and shinobi in the room at the mature words of a twelve year old who lost everything twice. "These smiles of ours, this happiness you see in us, we had to fight through hell to get it back…We had to fight through our demons and our nightmares until we found people unrelated to us who helped us to actually experience joy in life again. But you, you still have your family. You still have people worth fighting for. So why aren't you?"
Another rhetorical question she didn't give time to sit. "I'm going to go study. Thank you for dinner."
As she made her way up the stairs, she heard Naruto's scolding voice. "Hmph, she's right, you know. All you do is whine and complain like some sorry little victim. You still have two people who care about you, that should be more than enough for you to keep fighting. Me and Amari, we're going to keep fighting for the sake of this land and its future. We're going to help Mr. Tazuna finish his bridge, and we'll put an end to Gatō so he never causes trouble here again.
"But go ahead and keep whimpering all day for all I care. You're nothing but a coward!"
She heard his chair roughly get pushed back and his heavy footsteps follow her exit out of the room and up the stairs. The door to their room opened as she was sitting down, and his footsteps came towards her until he too was lying down next to her. Amari remained sitting up with one of her books in hand as she tried to forget about Inari's comments and focus on her studies.
"Amari?" She looked up from her book to meet Naruto's eyes. "We'll prove him wrong," he said confidently.
"I know." No matter what Inari said, they were going to stop Zabuza and Gatō from hurting his grandfather and the Land of Waves. No matter how much he told them otherwise, they would show that change was possible when one actually tried.
He would not turn them away so easily.
His serious look morphed into a grin. "And that green chakra thing you do when you're angry, it's really cool." A smile formed on her lips alongside the warm blush beginning to tint her cheeks. "Scary when you first see it but after a few seconds I can feel how much you care about us all."
Amari reached over to him and poked his forehead in appreciation of his compliment and silent begging to stop it. Her action only made his grin grow, in turn causing her cheeks to flush more.
After the poke they fell into the silence of their own thoughts. Amari enjoyed the silence; it allowed people to get lost in their own minds yet still remain connected to one another. She stretched out here senses so she could listen to the muffled waves outside sloshing around, the smell of the sea water and the feel of Naruto's presence next to her. Each sense granted her comfort and helped her to forget about the little spat they had.
"Thank you," Naruto said suddenly.
Amari cast a curious look his way and tilted her head to the side in confusion. What had she done to gain his thanks? "For what?"
"For always being there for me and believing in me even when I've doubted myself."
Nothing more needed to be said to coax a soft smile out of her. "You're welcome. I'll always have your back."
She put her book down and laid down next to him so they could stare up at the ceiling together. Unfortunately for Naruto, her wild blue hair sprawled out below her and took him by surprise as the ends tickled his cheeks. Had Amari noticed at first, she would have fixed it immediately. But she didn't, and Naruto sat through the torment without trying to reveal what was happening for a good minute. Only when she felt him swipe a hand at her hair did she realize, and then she fell into giggles. "You goof, why didn't you say something?!" she asked through her fit of giggles as she fixed her hair.
"I was trying to be polite!" he retorted.
It only made her giggles consume her. Naruto joined her in laughter and attempted to get his vengeance by trying to tickle her back, bringing out squeals of amusement and terror as she did her best to fight him off.
Eventually they settled down, both out of breath and smiling widely as they stared up at the ceiling together as if they were stargazing.
"Naruto?"
"Hm?"
"Thank you for being there for me, too."
Ever since they had met he had continued to stand by her side no matter what happened. He was a true friend and a brother to her.
He turned his head to look at her with a big grin on his face. "Hey, there's no Amaruto without you so how could I not be?"
Amari slapped him in his stomach and let her giggle bubble out of her at the combination of their name.
I'm glad to have met you, Naruto.
"Can I talk to you?"
Inari looked over his shoulder to see Kakashi standing just outside of the house with his hands in his pockets. The Copy Ninja found himself in need to talk to the boy after the display his two Genin had shown. While he believed they were both in the right on not giving up, how they went about it wasn't exactly how he would have preferred them to do it.
He had expected Naruto to be his usual brash self, but Amari losing her temper first was a surprise. She usually had a tight lid on her emotions. Looking back now, though, it was obvious that Inari's doubt and constant attempts to make them give up had been piling up over the last week.
Something interesting to come out of it was finally being in close proximity of his student when the green chakra shroud appeared; it allowed him to analyze it in closer detail before he decided she needed to cool off.
This time her emotions started out thick with anger and sadness aimed at no one in particular, but soon he and the rest of his team were surrounded by a protective feeling that she held for each of them. Strangely enough, she didn't put all her anger into the boy to make him cower when it would have been easy to do so.
He was actually almost certain she aimed her anger at herself.
His theory about her emotions tying into her spiritual energy still seemed farfetched, but he still wasn't sure what else it could be. What she was doing was almost similar to how an empath had the ability to feel the emotions of others, but instead of feeling their emotions, Amari was projecting hers onto others.
What that meant was something he still couldn't figure out.
Kakashi sat down next to the boy and the pair stared out at the sea and sky. "Naruto can be a little…harsh and Amari…she has had a rough time seeing this country suppressed by Gatō since we arrived. But they don't hate you."
In fact it was quite the contrary. What Inari didn't understand was they were both seeing little bits of their younger selves in him. Naruto had never known what it meant to have a family since he was orphaned as a newborn, and because of the decree he had been outcasted by his peers.
Tough as the boy was now, his situation growing up had undoubtedly left him in tears on several occasions and at different points believing nothing would ever change.
At least, not until he met Amari that is.
Amari, on the other hand, was seeing her fear to stand up for herself, the voice of doubt telling her she could never become strong enough and there was no use in fighting. What she saw was the child they found in the forest, the one who had only been able to watch her friends try to kill one another and weep for her friend as he died.
"Your grandfather told us about what happened to your father. Since you're so quiet you probably never really asked my students about their history. Naruto, for instance, grew up without a father or a mother in his life. He was alone at the very beginning. Amari can't even remember her original family. What you heard us talking about today is the first time she's ever had any recollection of her past life."
Nothing in the two years since she was in Konoha awoke any memories of her past; for her to now remember even something as simple as her cousin's voice was a strange occurrence. Although strange, it now gave them her name from all those years ago to look into. If she had been born back in a Konoha hospital then the possibility they had a record of her birth was all but guaranteed.
The strength she possessed and its constant growing garnered the interests of not only the Copy Ninja, but her mother, the Hokage, Guy and Asuma. He had to be careful about it, though. If she was related to a strong bloodline of the Uchiha's and certain people found out, the threat to her life from outside of the village and from within would grow significantly. So far they had kept her Sharingan and Byakugan a complete secret to all except the four who had found her, Iruka, the Hokage and a few other well trusted individuals.
Her eyes made her a prime target, a target he would never allow anyone to hit. Amari was a good kid; she had a good heart and had inherited the Will of Fire from those she cared for. He would not see that fire doused or the girl harmed as long as she was on his squad and under his watchful eye.
I'll get to the bottom of her origins when we get back to the village.
He wouldn't tell her once he found out. After seeing her hopeful yet saddened by the memory of her cousin, Kakashi knew dropping the information in her lap right now would be more harmful than helpful.
"Amari lost her family at the age of seven and for unknown reasons she has had no recollection for the last five years of who she had been or who her parents were. What she told you about her friends being killed and holding her dead friend in her arms as she cried, that was only part of the story."
Inari looked over to him with a confused look. Within his eyes he could see a desire to learn more about the young girl who had just showed glimpses of the scars she carried to the whole room moments ago. "Her friend, Ryu, was killed, but her other friend, Kasai, was the boy who did it." Inari's eyebrow rose in shock at the revelation. "He lost himself in a lust for power, and on that day Amari buried both of her friends, figuratively speaking. Kasai gave her that scar on her left eye then left them both for dead, but before Ryu died he gave Amari the task to find their former friend and stop him as well as what encouraging words he could. That's when we found her and brought her back to our village."
Kakashi still had the memory of the young blue-haired girl crying with one side of her face covered in blood imprinted on his memory. He had been wary of a trap, but in hindsight it was a bit foolish seeing as she had been completely crushed by losing her friend. In some ways that was what made him continue to visit her after she came into the village; he understood what it was like to watch helplessly as comrades died right before his eyes.
By no means was he an expert in moving past the pain it caused, not by a long shot, but he could give her words of wisdom he had learned and had yet to apply himself.
Once Amari set her mind to becoming a ninja, she began to change. It took her time to get over that first hill of struggle left behind by the loss of her friends, but she kept fighting to change herself to become the shinobi Ryu told her she could become.
From his observations, Amari pushed herself the hardest out of all the other Genin's in her class. She never settled for anything less than her best once she really got her footing, and from there she pushed herself to surpass her classmates.
Most of the time he watched her from afar. He saw her listening intently to Shikamaru and Shikaku when they spoke, he saw her sparring with her mother until she could no longer force herself to her feet. He witnessed her growth from the powerless girl from the forest to the focused and fierce kunoichi she was turning into.
Perhaps his interest stemmed from being inspired by her will to push forward and fight for her friends without growing cold. Or maybe he wanted to see her one day prove that boy wrong and beat him. Maybe it was because he knew what it was like to grow up without a father so he tried to stick around as much as he could for her. Or perhaps it was her youthfulness and dedicated attitude to her friends and training that made him continue to push her to become better.
Youthfulness…never telling Guy I said that.
"Naruto didn't have a single friend in our village until he met Amari, and Amari was too shy and focused on training that she didn't make any friends until she met him. Still, I've never seen either of them cry, sulk or give up once they both set their minds to becoming ninjas."
The last time he had seen Amari cry had been the first time she visited Ryu's grave, months after she was brought into the village. After that he never saw her break down in tears ever again.
From that day onwards she always pushed herself forward to become the very best ninja that she could be. Kakashi's gut told him she would one day become a great ninja, especially with her bloodlines and inheritance of the Sharingan and the Byakugan.
"Naruto's dream is to be respected as a peer by our village instead of how they have treated him over the years, and he'll put his life on the line for that in a heartbeat. Amari made a promise to Ryu to stop Kasai, and she won't stop until she does. But even though that goal is important to her, what she wants most is to protect everyone she cares for. She'll put her life on the line to prevent any harm, emotional or physical, from coming to them. My guess is they just got tired of crying and decided to do something about it."
Kakashi thought back to the day he heard Amari had stood against Mizuki for Iruka and Naruto. The little girl who he and the others had found crying in the forest had stood up against what could have been certain death with an unwavering spirit and came out on top. It was the same day she performed her Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu and managed to hit double digits without collapsing in exhaustion. He and the others who had watched had known she had grown a lot in two years, yet seeing it firsthand had surprised them all.
Guy had questioned him then about her advancing so quickly and what he was teaching her. Of course his apparent eternal rival wanted to know his secret so he could use it with his protégé since, according to Guy, Amari was his protégé.
He would have to apologize to her when his rival started including her in his challenges.
The thing was he hadn't taught her anything at that time; he gave her motivation here and there and might have told her what handseal to use for the jutsu, but other than that he hadn't done anything to help. What she accomplished was all thanks to her constant training and never give up attitude no matter how small the improvement.
Amari had something special locked within her besides the Sharingan. Despite what she would say, Amari was a prodigy. That wasn't to take away from her hard work and dedication; his student put her all into everything she did and because of that she was constantly growing stronger.
"Even though they are young and still learning, those two know what it means to be strong in the face of overwhelming odds and pain…like your father did. I think they know better than any of us what you're going through." He turned his head to face the boy. "What Naruto and Amari said to you earlier, as cruel as they may have sounded," Kakashi gave him a closed eye smile, "they've probably told themselves that a thousand times."