Chapter 15 – Memorial

After school, Tohru came home hurriedly to find the kitchen and prepared a huge feast. She packed enough food to feed a dozen people, carried them in a humongous basket, and quietly she walked outside to the porch. There, she stood for a while to admire the clear blue sky, inhaled the sweet scent of the air and felt the sun on her skin. These were the perfect signs of a hot and beautiful summer advancing.

While she enjoyed Mother Nature, she continued to stare into the vast atmosphere above her. She stood and wondered about what happened yesterday. Ayame was acting weird, not that he was any different than usual, but he was definitely bothered by something or someone. First, she was sure the he sounded like he was irritated when Shigure was about to kiss her. Then later, when they were in the dressing room, though she couldn't understand the conversation between the two men, she could still sense some sourness from Ayame's voice. 'Was he in pain? What could Shigure have done to him that caused him to react that way?' She continued to think, allowing her mind to wander off a little, 'Could it be that Ayame is…?' She quickly leveled her eyes down and stared at the pond in the yard. 'But, Shigure is a man and Ayame is also a man, so they couldn't be, could they?' She shook the thought out and headed for the study room.

"Shigure." She called to him. He was inside, reading his research materials for his new novel and had spreaded them out, covering the entire floor with layers of paper. "Shigure? Are you in there?"

"Huh?" He swam through his pool of paper to find the door and opened it. "Oh, hi Tohru, can I help you with something?" He asked.

"I'm going to visit mom, would you like to join me?" She replied.

He sighed, "I'm so sorry. I would love to, but I'm very busy now, you see? I need to submit in 500 pages for my newest project and its due in two weeks, so I don't have time right now."

"Oh, I see…" Feeling a little disappointed, yet she managed to continue, "I'll just go by myself then."

"Wait!" Shigure spotted the cat walking down the hallway toward them. "Kyo can go with you."

"What? Go Where?" Kyo stared at the dog. 'What is he up to?' His brows wrinkled.

"To visit Tohru's mom. It's her memorial today, right?" The older man asked.

"Yes." She replied still holding the basket in her hands.

Kyo froze between his cousin and his love. It's been over a week since the accident, and still, she hadn't had a clue about them being together. All this time, she thought that Shigure was the one that she loved. Kyo couldn't make up his mind; on one hand, he wanted to go, but on the other hand, he didn't want to go. He sighed and wandered his eyes to a corner. 'What if I lose control and scared her away?' He asked himself.

"O, come on, now. You should be a gentleman and help the little lady. Look at that huge basket she's carrying in those tiny hands of hers. The least you can do is hauled it for her." The writer teased.

The sight of the huge basket then caught his eyes. "Are you going to carry that thing all the way to the cemetery?" He asked.

"Yes, it's for mom." She replied, smiling.

"Okay, let's go."

"This is great! Thank you."

"You take care of her for me, okay?" Shigure sneered.

"Yah." Kyo replied and took the basket from her hands and at an instant dropped his weight along with the basket to the floor. "What do you have in here?" He asked, looking surprised.

"Just some foods for mom; they're her favorites."

"But, do you need this much?"

"Guess I overdid it a little."

"Yahha." He mocked.

They both exchanged glances and left the house.

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They arrived at the grave shortly and Tohru laid out the food for her mom. This time visiting her mom, Kyo felt a bit edgy; it felt weird for some reason. He remembered the last time he visited there were more people: Uo, Hana, the Damn Rat, Tohru and himself. Curiously, he asked, "Tohru, why aren't your friends here with you?"

"Well, actually…" She paused, looking at the tombstone. "I wanted for Shigure and me to visit her alone."

Her answer sent a shock wave into Kyo's devastating lungs as it gasped for air that very second. "Why?" He managed.

"Well, it's because I wanted to introduce him to her. After all, he is to be her son-in-law, so I thought that it would be nice for the three of us to sit down, eat, talk and get to know each other. It appears that I don't know much about him, other than the fact that he's a novelist. "

"Then… are you disappointed that I'm here instead of him?" He asked, looking at her the tip of her hair that was touching the base of the monument.

She turned around, still on her knees and look up at him. "No! Of course not! How could I?" She quickly said as she stood up. 'Why does he look at me like this, every time?'

"Tohru… I…" Kyo's voice sounded uneasy like he wants to tell her something important, but hesitant to let it out.

"Yes…" She replied trying to figure out why he was acting so odd lately.

He inhaled, "Forget it."

"Please, if you have something that you wanted to tell me then say it me now! It feels like you've been trying to avoid me! Is there something that I forgot, something that I should know? Why are you hiding it from me?" She immediately stopped and stared into the cat's eyes. 'What just happened?' She felted like she just snapped at him for no reasons.

"Tohru…" He ran his fingers into her long hair. The smooth texture of her hair was so soft, healthy and glowed with life.

"Kyo…" She closed her eyes trying to calm herself down from the rage that she exploded a minute ago. 'Why did I snap like that?' She didn't understand what was going on, but her heart was pounding and pounding faster every second.

He continued to comb her hair, admiring it, section at a time as he observed the girl in front of him. She wasn't wearing black instead, she was wearing blue today. She was layered in a thin cottoned material that most girls found suitable in a warm day like this one. The dress was a blue color of the sky with white laces from the spaghetti straps on her shoulders down to the hem lining around her chest and arms. Any shade of blue on Tohru had always complimented her eyes and she looked as lovely as ever.

Kyo, though not physically wearing blue; he had been wearing it inside. This color blue represented the complexity of his emotions, the depth of his isolation that he had buried deep down since that awful day. He felt like a lost puppy who doesn't know where to go or what to do. From that day, everything around him was meaningless and nothing seemed to matter anymore.

The blue color that represented his bitterness was also the color of birth, meaning reborn, live and hope. Though he was anxious and depressed from all that happened; he was please to be alone with Tohru now. 'Should I tell her now?' He asked himself. His heart ached, overfilled with desire for her; the pain inside wanted to burst out and let her know how he felt. Without her, he felt empty; he wanted to be whole again. Right now, she's the light at end of his long deserted tunnel; the pissing piece of his puzzle and the only person that could help him feel complete again.

"Toh… ru…" His gentle yet broken voice got her attention as she opened those baffled eyes of hers to meet his. The intense flared from his eyes made the rhythm of her pulse grew faster as she took in quick and shorter breaths. He took her into his arms, crossing them behind her back and rubbed his hands on her exposed arms. She was warm and soft, everything that he could have imagined. He breathed in the sweetness of her hair and slowly he whispered into her ears. "I am… in love with you."

"Love?" Her pulse stopped that very second as she held her breath and mixed feelings indulged her. 'Why is my heart beating like this? It's running the same tune as his… This is wild, I can't stop it.' Without further thoughts, she gripped onto his shirt.

He raised his right hand and ran it into her hair, soothing her, trying to make her feel comfortable. "Try to remember… remember me… remember us…"

"Us?" She questioned his chest.

"Yes, I need you to remember us, remember that one night that we were together. How we couldn't hold back our feelings and melted away in each other's arms. I need to hear those magically words from you again, at least once more."

She released her grip and pulled back a little leaving only a few inches away from him. She looked into his eyes and felt a burning sensation running throughout her entire body and tears somehow accumulated and fogged her eyes. "I… I don't know what to say. I don't understand this feeling." Her hands were trembling while holding onto his arms.

"Don't cry." He reached his fingers to trace along the lining of her eyes.

"I don't want to, but my body couldn't control itself."

"I know exactly how it feels to be out of control. Right now, I want to… I want to kiss you so bad."

She shut her eyes willingly as he caressed her face. The touch of his hand on her face felt so tender; she couldn't resist but to yearn for more. 'Why am I doing this? Why can't I refuse him?' She let loose and eased herself in the comfort in his arms.

He bent down and gently rubbed his lips against her, electricity waves streamed down their bodies together. She pulled back a little from the shock, but he held on and continued to kiss her. She liked it; she liked the touch of his lips on her. It was breath taking as he advanced and wet the cease between her lips, without hesitation she gave him entrance. Little by little, he twisted his passion inside of her, taking her slowly as she swallowed and tasted his kiss; she was swept away to ecstasy.

The contentment and pleasure of this moment was too great to let go. Everything surrounding them had faded away, leaving the two young souls intertwine and lips meshed together finding the other's pulp irresistible as hunger grew and they kept on eating.

Just when, what seemed like a natural bond was building up between them, the clumsy girl tripped over her mom's tomb and Kyo followed her down. The fall broke their connection and gave both of them a fright. Kyo quickly climbed onto his feet and helped her up. She stood, facing him, eyes wide opened as she stared into space and was deep in thoughts. For a while there, she had completely loosen herself and gave in to the most miraculous moment that she had ever experience. She could still felt the simulation in her body as her breathing calm down to its normal pace. 'Why did it felt so good?' She hugged her shaking body as she looks at his concerned expression. 'His lips… his eyes… they're mesmerizing.' She bit down on her bottom lip, trying to control herself; she wanted to taste those lips of his again. 'Why am I feeling like this? Why am I so attracted to him?' At this moment, she realized that she wanted him; she wanted him so bad that she felt disgusted.

"Tohru, what's wrong?" Kyo extended his arms to hold her trembling ones, but she panicked and moved away leaving his hands still in mid-air.

"Please don't."

"Why?" He slowly dropped his arms.

"I'm a horrible person." Her voice shuttered.

"No, what made you say that?"

"I shouldn't be here with you doing this. I'm engaged and it's not fair to Shigure."

"He'll be fine. He won't have any problem with us like this."

"How can you say that? Of course, he will!"

"You still don't remember, do you? This is all his fault… all his mess! He set us all up for his own enjoyment!"

"What are you saying?" Her voice broke as tears started to formulate. Right now, guilt had taken over her strength. She felt treacherous and disloyal to the one she called fiancée.

He saw the mystified expression on her face and he, himself was afraid to approach her any further; she will break if he pushes too hard, so he stopped and sighed. "Let's go home." He swept off the lint from his clothing and grabbed the empty basket. He walked in front and she followed behind. "Tohru!" He called to her. "I don't have eyes in the back of my head, so can you hurry up?"

"I'm sooorry!" She caught up to him, side by side, walking together as she looked at their moving legs synchronized. "I mean it, Kyo… I'm sorry. I don't know what to think anymore."

He sighed, "Look, I will never lie to you and not about something as important as this. I'm in love with you and Shigure knows about it. Maybe, you should ask him. I'm sure that he'll explain it to you, if you ask him about it."

She looked at Kyo from the angle of her eyes. 'He said that he loves me, but do I feel the same for him? Why did I allow myself to melt in his embrace like that?" Her cheeks started to change color as they approached the front of the house.

"Oh, why are you guys back so soon?" Shigure caught them walking in from the porch. "Well, anyways it's good timing because I'm starving! I can't burn any energy writing if I don't have enough nourishment." Tohru was flushing red, walking toward him. "Tohru, is everything okay?"

She met his narrowed, dark eyes examining her burning expression and quickly she looked away. 'Should I ask him? Should I tell him?'

Kyo saw her hesitation and decided to help her get it out, "We…um…"

"I'm fine, nothing happened." Without thinking she quickly interrupted his intention.

"Tohru?" Kyo spoke with a tone of disappointment.

"I'll go get dinner ready." She ran off to the kitchen and left the two men staring at each other.

"So, did anything happen?" Shigure asked curiously.

"What?"

"You know what I mean."

"I don't understand her. Why didn't she… Hgh!"

"So, something did happen."

He took a deep breath and exhaled. "If she said nothing happened, then nothing happened." As he walked away he talked to himself quietly. "Everything is back to where it started…and I'm still… broken." The missing piece of his puzzle was still far from his reach, he realized that he had made the situation between him and Tohru worsen, but if he had a chance to do it over again, then he would've done it just the same. There was no turning back now and may time help her remember…

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Back Stage Discussion:

Smile: Come on people! Faster review means faster chapter, don't you get it?

Shigure: I think that you've scared your readers with the last chapter.

Ayame: What, but I like the last chappie. Haahhhh….

Smile: Me too! I'm a yaoi fan, so you can always count me in when there are cute guys.

Shigure: Are you homosexual by any chance?

Smile: No way! I'm straight! Yuri is so disgusting! I could see guys together, but girls… EW…

Ayame: Will there be anymore chappie on me and Shigure?

Smile: No, that's it.

Ayame: Noooo… why not?

Smile: Because… you're not the main characters.

Ayame: Waahhh!

Shigure: Aya, don't cry. We'll always have our time together in the discussion.

Ayame: But I want to be in the story with you!

Shigure: Oh, Aya, come and sit with me. I'll tell you a secret.

Ayame: What secret?

Shigure: Well, it won't be a secret anymore, if I let everyone else know. I'll have to whisper into her ears.

Ayame: Man that tickles!

Shigure: Shut up and listen you squirmy snake!

Kyo: These gay guys are driving me crazy! Can't you just get rid of them?

Smile: No, I'm afraid not. They'll be around for the rest of the story, but just not as intimate as in the last chapter.

Kyo: Then when are you going to get me back with Tohru? I'm going nuts here! This is carrying on forever!

Smile: Well, I could just write. Tohru remembered. Tohru married Kyo... and the end… Is that what you want?

Kyo: Huh?

Smile: Thought so… I think that that will disappoint our readers, too, so not yet, but I'm trying to wrap it up soon. The story should not exceed 20 chapters, so you still have your chances with Tohru.

Kyo: Hgh… girls? They are so hard to understand.