Confrontations, consultations and insults will get you everywhere

(or Let's see some id)

*

Wednesday, Oct. 9

A hand settled on Isis' shoulder.

She jumped, right hand automatically reaching for her left hip before she remembered she was in Smallville, and had left the pepper-spray in with her luggage. The Gotham Girl's Survival Kit was not necessary in Kansas. Especially not at the local coffeehouse, although what she wouldn't give for a good cup of Darjeeling tea.

"Mind if I join you?"

Isis twisted in her chair and looked up into Lex's smiling face. "Course you can L-- Lex. How go the multi-billions?"

"Multiplying themselves exponentially, I'm sure," he said wryly. He signaled to Lana for a cup.

"What, you don't wait on line with the little people anymore, Lex?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Did you?"

"That's beside the point."

"It's the entire point."

Isis snorted. "Always fencing the blame onto someone else. Tch, tch, L--" She visibly shook herself. "Lex. See, I'm striving to be a better person in your eyes," she said drolly.

"A little more effort and I might believe you. So what are you working on, Ice?" he asked, eyeing her dark gray laptop on its cooling board.

"Curious Lex?"

"Always."

Lana came with a fresh pot of coffee before Isis could properly retort. "Fresh cup, Ice?" She nodded. Catching the girl's hazel eyes, Isis mouthed "Blue." A blush crept up Lana's cheeks, and her pleasant smile tried to twist itself into a grin. She set a cup and saucer before Lex and started to pour -- only to make the mistake of looking at Lex's very blue eyes.

Lex and Isis, with her laptop, jumped back as Lana missed his cup completely. "Oh, I'm so, so . . ." She trailed off into snickers and once again made the mistake of catching someone's eye: Isis'. Both women started laughing, Lana trying to apologize between fits of giggles and promising to come back and clean up the mess.

"What was that about?" Lex demanded.

Isis waved him off, wiping tears from her eyes. Really, she hadn't expected it to be this funny almost twenty-four hours later, but it was.

"Isis! Heads up!" Lana tossed Isis a damp cloth rather than going back and facing the both of them -- and the image of Lex's blue urine -- again. The temptation to call Chloe made her fingers itch.

Isis proceeded to wipe up the mess, carefully avoiding Lex's gaze. "It's my fault really."

"I'm sure it is."

Her head shot up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just what I said."

"I seem to remember you having a much better sense of humor, Lex. What happened, someone squeeze your cojones too hard?"

Their stare-down was interrupted by the musical ring of Lex's cell phone. He glared at the caller id, then let out a sigh of exasperation. "I have to take this," he said as if he and Isis had been having the best, most magical conversation, only to be disturbed by the most onerous phone call anyone could imagine. He slid out of the booth and stepped out The Talon.

Of course an annoying conversation with Isis beat even a decent one with Lionel Luthor. Decent usually did not equal pleasant in the Luthor household. It only meant that neither had managed to sufficiently raise his blood-pressure for either of their doctors to worry. Much.

"Yes, Dad."

"I just got a chance to look at the final draft of that business proposal--"

He waited for the other shoe to drop.

"It's very good Lex. Much better than your last one."

"Glad you like it," Lex returned dryly. "But I think what matters is if the buyers like it."

"What I like the buyers will like," Lionel Luthor growled.

Lex rolled his eyes, more than ready for the conversation to be over. "Well then, if you have no further questions . . ."

"I was thinking, Lex, that we should have dinner. Thursday night."

An eyebrow shot up. "Who's covering it?"

"The Planet, two of the more important Metropolis new stations."

"Ah, we must have done something good for the little people."

"Indeed we have. I will see you there, Lex."

"I can't make any promises. I'm not near my planner: I don't know if I'm free."

"Oh don't worry about that. I already had my secretary check with yours. You aren't busy. I'll see you in Metropolis. Thursday."

"Thursday." Lex flipped his phone closed, ending the conversation, and seriously considered throwing the black and silver device as hard and far as he could. But only if it would take his father with it.

There was a fresh cup of coffee and a scone waiting for him when Lex slid back into his seat. Isis smiled pleasantly over her laptop when he stared too long. "Call go well?"

"You could say that." He took an experimental drink of his coffee and found it not quite sweet enough. Sugar. Sugar. With practiced ease he turned the laptop completely around and asked Isis what she was working on, again.

"You're looking at it."

"Looks like a resume. Planning on extending your trip, or is this for future endeavors?"

"Trip extension. And, if you hadn't noticed, Smallville's not the most interesting of places. Eventually Pete will get tired of me eating up all his free-time. I plan to be prepared," she said, reaching for it.

Pushing the laptop out of his way, and hers, his eyes bright, Lex said, "You know, I was disturbed last night by the sound of squealing tires and yelling. I seem to remember it being distinctly female."

"Oh?" She rested her forearms on each other and settled her weight deeper into the plush seat with all the leisurely ease of a cat. Chin on her wrist, Isis looked for all the world as if Lex had just caught her napping. He half expected her to purr. "And why are you telling me?"

"I thought you might have some idea who it was."

"Moi? Non, non, ce n'est pas moi, Alexandre. But it sounds like fun, doesn't it?"

"That little car you have . . ."

Her eyes narrowed, daring him to say anything about her baby.

"I bet it can tear up the road."

"Probably. But responsible drivers don't 'tear up the road.'"

Lex knew his smile mirrored hers: lazy, casually sensual, challenging. He leaned forward. "Good thing we're not responsible drivers."

"We're not?" Isis' eyes were bright too, her slow smile replaced with an almost feral grin. Too many teeth.

"No, we're not."

"What exactly do you suggest, Lex?"

Lex could only grin. In his car back toward the mansion he speed dialed his father. He got Lionel's secretary. And yes, he would leave a message. "Tell him I won't be able to make dinner Thursday. I'm closing a deal and the principal funder is driving down with four of her investors. They could make or break this. We'll have to try again some other time. Dad'll understand." He cut the woman off before she could reply.

*

Thursday Afternoon, Oct. 9

"Isis! I can't believe you agreed to this!"

"Peter, darling, calm down. You're too young for a heart-attack."

"I am not getting in a Luthor's car," he said, angry.

"Then don't come along," Isis snarled back. She stalked off to her car.

Clark, Lana and Chloe looked from her dancing braids to the still fuming Pete, unsure what to do. Chloe finally took charge, pushing Clark at Pete and Lana after Isis. "Me?!" Lana protested.

"Yes you. Remember the other night, she said she knew you from way back when. Work with it."

"Hey, she also said she barely remembered me. You two were all buddy-buddy, you go talk to her," Lana said, propelling Chloe halfway.

Pete was fuming long before Clark could say anything. "It's just like her, always doing some half-crazed thing without even asking me. She always assumes I'm gonna go along, just because we're cousins. It can't always be like that!" He whirled on Clark. "Don't you remember that summer she wanted us to leash your rooster?"

"Isis was raised in Gotham. How was she supposed to know roosters aren't really meant to be tamed?"

"Okay, then what about the summer she convinced you to go bald? And me to shave you?"

"She wanted to be a beautician," but even Clark didn't sound like he believed it. "But this isn't like that, and my hair's grown back. This is just a really short, interesting race . . .girls against the boys. For once you get to beat Isis."

"But that means riding in a car with Lex Luthor."

"Pete, I keep trying to tell you, Lex isn't like his father. And besides, its not like you have to ride shotgun. You can enjoy your victory over Isis from afar," he smiled.

"Clark?" He turned as Isis tapped on his shoulder, "Can I talk to Peter alone a minute?" He nodded and turned back, unsure whether to go to the girls or Lex who was stood alone by his car. The girls and Lex, he decided, walking to them first then gently herding them to the parked cars.

"Peter . . . I'm sorry, Pete, if I've upset you. I know how much you hate the Luthors, although this one I can vouch for. Mostly." Pete snorted in disgust and turned away. "Oh don't be like that! No one's perfect. And if I know anything about Lex is that he can't stand his father."

"But he's still a business man."

"This isn't business, Peter." Isis wrapped her arms around Pete's neck. "I've been horrible lately, haven't I? Been spending all my time with Chloe and Lana or at The Talon or playing with my laptop. I've spent almost no time with you. Let's make a deal," she rested her chin on Pete's shoulder, "you do this one evil horrible thing for me, and tomorrow -- or whenever you want -- we'll do something. Just us. I'll spoil you rotten." She stood up. "I'll even play football with you and Clark.

"But you don't have to. Pete . . .won't you look at me, please? At least to say how much you hate me and demand that I drive you home. Please, bro."

Pete turned. "I don't hate you, Isis. You drive me crazy, sometimes. A lot. But I love you."

"Geez . . .guilt trip me why don't you. All right, all right, I'll take--"

"I never said I wouldn't go."

"PETE!!" Isis attacked him, hugging him and jumping up and down. "I promise to make it up to you. Tomorrow, just you and me. I swear it. Oh Pete, you are gonna have so much fun!"

"Yeah, well, don't spread it around, okay?"

Isis mimed zippering her mouth shut. "Let's go people!" Whipping out her keys, Isis unlocked her car with the remote. "Get in girls, we got some fragile male egos to destroy."

"Yay Pete!" Chloe and Lana cheered. Clark clapped his friend on the back, "It won't be that bad, I promise. You might even enjoy it."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

Lex tamped down on his impulse to hold the door open for them. "You are so gonna lose, Isis!" Pete called as he slid into the sleek black car.

"We'll see who's eating dust, bro!" Isis was in the car and at the "Start" line before anyone could question her choice of endearments. Lana rode shotgun and admired her newfound legroom: Chloe put her feet up. She found herself wondering if Lex's car rumbled and purred the way Isis' did, but then they were off, tearing through Kansas cornfields.

The top slides down.

The girls let out a scream.

The boys make funny faces through Lex's open windows.

Lex and Isis gun it.

A cow trots across the road. Slow. Slow.

Isis remembers confirming "Seat-belts on?" "Check." "Check." as they spin out of control on narrow Kansas roads.

Lex swerves.

They're playing an impromptu, and unwanted, game of chicken. Can't stop the driving for the swerving. Especially when no one's killed their motor.

Isis dives for the corn.

Clark was out of the car before Lex could turn off the car. "Lana! Chloe!"

"Isis!" Pete called, at his heels. Lex would later be very glad that he had resisted the urge to toss his phone as far and hard as he possibly could. He fished it from the glove compartment, trying to figure out which number to dial first and who's father was more likely to do more damage when this was all over: his, Clark's, Pete's, Chloe's or Isis'? Of course with his luck it would be some computation or permutation of the five.

"We're okay," Chloe said, sitting half in and half out of the car. "Just shaky, right? I know my heart's still going ninety."

Lana agreed. Isis leaned her head against the wheel.

"Are you guys sure?" Clark asked.

"Yeah, we're fine. You might wanna tell Lex, though. He's probably whipped his cell phone out, and God only know who he's called."

Clark hightailed it out of the damaged field.

"Isis, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Peter," she answered very calmly, raising her head from the wheel.

"You're bleeding."

She touched her forehead with gentle fingers. "So I am," she said with a frown. "Move back, Peter. Let me out. Are you all right Lana? Chloe? I have a First Aid kit in the trunk." They demurred. They didn't need the attention, but thanks anyway. Isis got it out for herself then allowed Pete to disinfect the cut.

"It's bleeding a lot."

"Head wounds do that." They all looked up. Lex had joined them in the field. "Would you like me to do that, Pete? I have First Aid training."

"No thanks, Lex," animosity dripped with every word. "I think I can handle this." Isis caught his eyes. Play nice, they commanded. Pete managed to tack on a semi-genial, "Thanks," before finishing with her forehead.

"No problem. I've called a towing company," he told her. "They'll be here soon."

"Thank you, Lex," Isis said. "So long as they pull me out of this ditch I think I can drive fine. It's mostly body damage."

"Will your insurance cover this?"

The four teenagers -- Clark had returned -- felt distinctly talked over, although Isis kept rhythmically squeezing Pete's hand. He looked down. She was clenching and unclenching her other fist too. For a second he wondered if he and Clark could change places without her noticing.

"I don't know. Somehow I don't think either drag racing or nearly running over slow moving cattle are covered in my insurance."

"You should move to Kansas," Clark murmured. He found himself under Isis' and Lex's scrutiny. It felt just like when he commented on his parents' more serious conversations: uncomfortable. "My-my dad has insurance for cows."

"I'll think about it. Oh well," she turned her attention back to Lex, "I wanted to get a new car anyway. You up to it, Pete?"

"Huh?"

"Tomorrow. Car shopping? We'll go to Metropolis after school if Uncle Mark will let you."

Pete's eyes lit up. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Always serious about my gadgets, Peter."

Lex knew he was ruining a moment when he opened his mouth, but he couldn't stop himself. "I can have my mechanic fix it for you."

"Oh? That's nice Lex, but I really do need a new car if I'm gonna play chauffeur to Pete, et al. Something with four doors." Chloe and Lana nodded enthusiastically.

"You'll get a better trade-in price if you fix it."

"True. Probably get a better price if I sell it outright." Isis thought about it for a moment. "If I gave you the Cabriolet to fix up and sell for me, how much would you want of the profit? The fix is free of course. Since you already offered."

He quoted a percentage. "That's crazy, Isis," Pete protested. "You could sell it yourself and keep all the money."

"But I don't want to, bro. And the percent Lex quoted is fair. I know I could sell it on my own, but I'm still a girl. Men get their tidy-whities in a knot when it comes to women, cars and the buying or selling of cars from and to women. Watch, tomorrow you'll see. So Lex, is it a deal?"

"Absolutely."

"Shake on it?" The tow truck pulled up as their hands separated.

*

"So what happened?" Jonathan Kent asked, speaking for all the parents.

They were all gathered at the Luthor Mansion. "We were on our way here . . ." Isis lied.

"In two cars?"

"Everyone can't fit in my car. Anyway, on the way here when a cow came out of nowhere. I swerved, had a minor spin out and ended up in the corn," she explained, omitting the racing aspect of it all.

Everyone turned to Clark for confirmation, despite Isis' very earnest explanation. The action didn't pass unnoticed -- how could it? -- by anyone. "What?" Clark felt like he was under the microscope. "That's what happened. Driving, cow from nowhere, cornfield. In that order."

"Who owns that field, by the way?" Isis asked. "I owe them for the crops I mowed under. And I might have given the cow a heart-attack."

Chloe looked up at her father, "If the third degree is over, can we go now?"

The assorted parents looked from one to the other, with a couple of tense glances at their children thrown in for squirmability. Lana was glad Nell was stuck at The Talon. Although it looked like either Lex or the Rosses were going to take her home. Looking at the Rosses' faces, Lana had her fingers crossed for Lex. "Um," she raised her hand timidly, "who's taking me home?"

"I will," Lex said pushing himself off the far wall. He had stood in the wings, so to speak, watching the family drama take place. The Kents and the Rosses protested. "Its out of both your ways. It's not like I have anything more pressing to do, and I had planned to take Misses Lang and Sullivan home. Before the accident of course."

There was a short pause. Lex pushed on before someone could think of the possible implications of a twenty-something man driving a seventeen year old girl home. Alone. "Besides, I'd like to assure Nell personally that she's all right."

"And Nell likes you," Lana added.

"That settled . . . Miss Lang, shall we?"

No one had time to point out that Lana's house was out of Lex's way too. Isis winked and blew him a kiss as he slid inside his car. She kept her trembling hands to herself.