Even Waltzes End (or I think I've kept you waiting long enough)

Friday, January 3rd, 2003

Isis wondered if Lex noticed her absence at dinner. No, he had been very busy. It seemed now that LexCorp was official everyone wanted a piece of him. And they were only two days into incorporation.

But that wasn't the trouble weighing on her heart. It wasn't what was keeping her up that night. Chloe was. Or rather what Chloe had told her bright and early that morning, back when it had been Thursday.

Isis had thought to swim off the feeling of dread and horror as pieces of a puzzle she hadn't known she'd been putting together fell into place.

And guilt. That girl wouldn't have died if Isis had been here in Smallville. She denied it as she swam lap after lap, until her arms and legs were lead and her lungs burned for air. It was the only way she got any sleep at all these days -- swimming herself into exhaustion. And still she managed to dream. But now she knew, or thought she knew, and would not sleep tonight.

So Isis wandered: her second favorite activity right behind swimming. She knew every part of the Luthor's transported Scotch mansion. She probably knew it better than the Luthor's, which was why she allowed herself to wander aimlessly through the jewel-tone tinted moonlit halls as she tried to make her thoughts turn away from the horror happening in her head.

Isis was more than a little surprised to find herself at Lex's bedroom door. Her own was another two hallways away -- where she'd relocated after the midnight incident with Lex. Isis didn't sleep long enough to scream much anymore, but just in case…

Should I look in on him? she wondered, but before the thought was fully formed Isis had already slipped into the room like a wraith. Jeweled moonlight slanted into the room behind her, illuminating the deep Persian carpets at her feet.

"Who's there?" Lex called out of the dark. He sounded remarkably alert for the hour.

"It's just me, Lex," Isis said softly. She backed partway out the door.

"Isis?" One word and he revealed how not awake he actually was. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just wandering around." A little further out the door. "I didn't mean to disturb you. Go to sleep."

Lex beckoned her forward in the dark. "You're here now. You may as well stay." When he saw that she wasn't going to budge he added, with humor in his voice, "I promise to behave."

The door closed shutting out all light.

After a moment Lex called Isis' name in the darkness.

"I'm here Lex," she said from across the bed.

"Don't make me have to put bells on you, Ice," he grumped.

Chuckling softly, Isis climbing into the oversized bed. "Blame your plush carpet, not me."

Soon Lex's arms were around her waist as he settled his body against hers. "You smell strange."

Isis lifted her head. "Strange?"

"Like…like peanut butter?"

"Oh." Isis smiled into the dark. "Reese's Pieces. Who knew peanut butter and candy went so well together?" she whispered.

Lex laughed softly.

A moment's hesitation, then: "Do you want to taste?" Isis raised her head to kiss Lex . She turned in his arms to ease the strain on her neck and found Lex eager to taste her. "Do you like?" she panted when they parted for air.

"Quite delicious, but I'm not really looking for an appetizer this late," Lex said releasing her and pulling away to roll over.

Isis caught him, tugging him back. "I'm not offering an appetizer."

There was a long moment of silence before Lex, hovering over Isis' prone body, her grasping his arms as if to keep him there, asked, "What does this mean?"

Isis reached up to cradle his face. "I don't know." She kissed him.

With a hungry groan Lex kissed her back. His hands skimmed her body through her thin camisole, knees already nudging her thighs apart to more easily rest his weight against her. His lips found her pulse, the hollow of her neck and a sensitive spot behind her right ear. But he couldn't shake off one last measure of doubt.

Isis groaned when he pulled away from her body. "Lex, you tease," she panted.

But he wasn't laughing and his breathing was far too steady.

"What's wrong?" she asked, feeling exposed and cold now that he had removed himself.

After a moment: "I'm just wondering how far you'll let me go before changing your mind." When she didn't reply he said, "Beyond this point, Isis, there's no going back. For you. For either of us."

Isis wound her left arm around Lex's neck. Simultaneously tugging at his left shoulder and pulling away his arm on that side, she flipped Lex over, tumbling with him, and straddling his waist. The darkly amused look on Lex's greyscaled face made her grin. It faded, however, when she bent down to whisper, "I'm not going back."

Lex flipped them. Fingers laced through hers, he pushed her hands above her head and kissed her silent.

§§§

It was the persistent sound of running water that finally woke Lex fully. Isis sliding from his arms and silently rolling out of bed had merely jostled him from his exhausted dreaming. So when she returned about a half-hour later according to his Indiglo watch on the nightstand, in his nightshirt and her cotton-silk pants he was waiting. Lying there he had come to a decision.

"Isis--"

She jumped. "God, Lex! I thought you were still asleep."

"Is everything all right?"

Silently Isis climbed in beside Lex. He could smell his soap rising like a curtain from her skin. "Second thoughts, Ice?" he asked, pulling her into his embrace. Nuzzling her hair as he waited for her answer, Lex remembered the moment he had pulled he green-gold braids -- ashen in the dark -- from their perpetual constraints. She had even stopped wearing it loose in the pool, giving him a flimsy excuse when he asked why.

Finally she said, "Not about you, Lex, or even us. Just…questioning myself," she finished softly.

"Is that why you put on my nightshirt?" he asked with a touch of flippancy in his voice.

"I felt…exposed."

She sounded so empty that Lex felt bad for the jocular tinge to his comment. Wordlessly he turned her in his arm. He tucked her head into the crook of her neck. His long tapered fingers worked themselves into her braids, massaging her scalp. Her eyelashes caressed his neck as she blinked. "My mother began to seriously decline when I was about nine," Les said softly.

Isis raised her head. "Lex, why--?"

"Shh. Let me bare my soul, thank you. She'd never been in the best of health," he continued as Isis resettled herself, "not in my memory anyway. She'd always had a strong personality, however. Mom was the only person that could make my father do anything."

"Persuasive woman," into Lex's neck. He felt her blink rapidly and waited for her to stop tickling him.

"Yes. Very much so. I think I would have a fundamentally different person had she lived. But back to my story:

"Mom was beginning to decline, although at the time we didn't know it, or wouldn't have admitted it had we known. By the time her birthday came in the spring of the next year she had been hospitalized off and on for over six months, with that stay being the longest thus far.

"All my life my father and I had given Mom a present from the both of us. I agonized for weeks trying to figure out how best to break it to Dad that I wanted to give Mom something solely from me. When I finally told him, his lips thinned, he turned back to the mountain of paperwork beside his, now archaic, word processor and said , 'Well it's about time.'

"I devoted nearly the entire month prior to her birthday looking for the perfect gift. I asked the female staff, I asked the married men and the flirts. I asked perfume girls and makeup women who thought I was adorable and strange, florists and dressmakers who found me odd in an endearing way. I remember one frantic afternoon, a mere four days until my mother's birthday, stopping any woman that would talk to a pale, slender, bald nine-and-a-half year old what the perfect gift was. So far it is still the most difficult decision I've ever had to make."

Lex felt Isis' shoulders gently tremble with laughter.

"The one person I didn't seek advice from was my father. He had already begun 'teaching' me, although at the time it wasn't quite as overt as it would become. I knew, however, that asking Dad was entirely unacceptable. I had decided to go it alone, so alone I had to stand."

Lex's hand paused in Isis' hair as he thought of the early years of his mother's sickness. Sighing softly he went on. "Finally it was the day before and I was nearly in tears. I hadn't found anything suitable. There were a number of gifts that I thought might do, but I wanted this to be perfect, not just suitable. It would be the first gift Mom had ever gotten that simply read 'From: Lex Luthor.'

"My father called me into his office just before noon. Tales of my near-hysterical state had made it to his ears. 'Before you know it you'll be using that foolish pump again,' he told me. 'So what's this about, Lex? Not Lillian's gift.'

"I hardly managed to control the quaver in my voice, which, between the embarrassment and disappointment, was acute, when I answered, 'Yes, sir, it does.'

" 'Well then pick something and put your name on it,' Dad told me. 'Lillian will love whatever you give her. She is your mother.'

"I don't know what lost human emotion prompted him to then say, with a now shockingly softer mien, 'Lex, dear boy, don't second guess yourself. You know your mother and you know your own mind. Don't let self-doubt get in your way. Ever.'"

With a rueful smile he said, "It's probably the best and worst advice Dad's ever given me." Lex was silently thoughtful, working his fingers through Isis' slim braids. He bent his head to her hair breathing in the hot-house scent of hyacinth made stronger by her spent body-heat. "Don't let anyone make you doubt yourself." He kissed her hair. "Not even me. Okay?"

No response. It was only then that he realized he didn't feel her eyelashes moving on his skin. "Isis?" Carefully rolling her so he could see her face, Lex cradled her head in his hands. He dropped another kiss on her nose before pulling her close. They slept.

*

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