Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing, so quit asking.

Chapter Two: 'Guy-Not- Ethan and the Transporter Machine'

As Sawyer came to, he realized that he was leaning against a wall. At first, he thought that he was dreaming, or hallucinating at the very least. Jack was always telling everybody not to spend to many hours in the sun a t one time. Once he was sure that he was very much awake (he'd pinched himself a few times to make sure), he started to notice that he wasn't just leaning against some random brick wall, but that he was leaning against the wall of a basement. With a floor. And Star Trek posters. And actions figures.

As disturbing as the posters, actions figures, and shag carpet were, what worried him more (and yes, more that the fact that this was new shag carpet- someone had obviously wanted it there) was that there was a man sleeping on a cot in the corner. A man who from behind looked just like Ethan Rom.

Grabbing the nearest object (which happened to be a very real looking lightsaber), Sawyer crept over to where the sleeping man lay. Raising his weapon to strike, he started to bring the lightsaber down just as the man turned his head and opened his eyes.

"AHHH!" the man screamed, now completely awake. His screams startled Sawyer, who stepped back and dropped his weapon. "Who are you? What do you want? Take my money, but please, leave my five-clawed Wolverine action figure alone! He is my reason for being! Please!" Then seeing what Sawyer had dropped, his eyes widened, and he screamed angrily " What are you doing? Do you have any idea what this is? This is a genuine replica of Luke Skywalker's lightsaber from Episode IV! It cost me ninety-nine dollars mister! I had to save my allowance for six months to buy it! SIX MONTHS!"

By now, Sawyer was quite sure that this guy wasn't Ethan, but that doesn't mean that the guy still didn't worry him a little. " Wait a minute" The guy-who's-not- Ethan said suddenly, " I know you! You were on that plane! You're…Um…Sawyer! That's it!" Exclaimed the strange man, jumping up and down and waving his arms excitedly

"YES! You're ALIVE!" Screamed weird guy, running over to Sawyer, who he swept up into a bone-crushing hug before bursting into tears " And you're HERE!" and then, just as suddenly as he started, he stopped. " Wait. How ARE you here?"

BY now, Sawyer was thoroughly freaked out. First, the strange elevator in the hatch sent him to the house of some crazy guy. Then, the crazy guy hugs him, and now, neither on of them knew what in the world Sawyer was doing in the crazy guys house in the first place! He had been hoping that this crazy man would be able to explain why he was here, but it now seemed that he was as clueless as Sawyer himself.

" How do you know who I am, Trekkie?" Asked Sawyer suspiciously.

" Easy. Once I heard about the disappearance of flight 815 and how there are no clues as to where it could be, I decided to do some research myself. After searching the Internet, I found a site that had information on the flight; it's passengers, and also pictures. That how I recognized you, I've been staring at you're picture for days." Answered crazy guy, causing Sawyer to feel very uncomfortable. " I've been gathering information and trying to think of where you could have crashed. So far, I haven't had much luck, but I never believed that you were dead. You couldn't be dead!"

" So you know about the crash, huh? So how come nobody's come looking' for us?" Asked Sawyer

"Well, they searched for your plane for three weeks before giving up and saying that you were all dead. I never gave up though." Said Weird guy, staring adoringly at Sawyer.

"Right." Said Sawyer, moving as far away from weird guy as possible, "So, since you have no idea how I got here, I'm guessing that you have no idea what this thing is either, do ya?"

"Actually, I do. I've seen something very much like this in TTW."

"TTW?" Asked Sawyer, almost afraid to know.

" Time Travel Weekly. It's a magazine that I subscribe to. Very interesting, it even tells how to build a time machine out of household appliances. Well, a few years ago, they had a big special on teleporting. Apparently, some small company in Russia created something that they call the Transporter. It can move a person or thing from one place to another. I'm guessing that this machine is very much like it."

" Okay…that would make sense. But who are you? And why would this thing bring me to your house?"

"My name is Kirk." He stated. "And you are in Stars Hollow, Connecticut. Might I also add that you're taking this surprisingly well."

" Listen, Trek boy. After everything that I've been through on that island, a little teleportin' not gonna get to me."

" So you were on an island, huh?"

"Yeah."

" Killer monsters, big polar bears, crazy French women, evil guys attacking pregnant women?"

"Yeah," Said Sawyer suspiciously, " How do you know about that?"

" Oh, it's from a story that my uncle's son gave to me once. Nice kid. A little freaky though, he tried to kill my cat. Actually, he said that he hated my cat, and then my cat got sick and almost died. I always thought that he did it, though."

" Nice kid." Answered a sarcastic Sawyer.

" Not really. My uncle adopted him when he married the kid's mom. Then she died and my uncle sent him to live with his real dad. But before that, my cousin gave me a story, about a plane that crashes on an island, and then all kinds of strange things happen to them. I always thought that he needed therapy."

"Huh. What's your uncle's name?" Sawyer asked, the description of the story sounding a little too familiar.

" Brian Porter. Why, do you know him?" Asked Kirk.

"Nope" answered Sawyer, uninterested once he didn't recognize the name.

"Okay." Said Kirk, now equally uninterested.

After a few minutes of trying to think of something new to say, Kirk finally spoke up.

"so why do you think that the transporter sent you here?" He asked.

"I have no idea. The only thing that I can come up with is somethin' that this crazy old guy on the island used to say all the time; The Island meant it to happen."

"Actually, that's not that bad of an idea." Stated Kirk. " Where did you find the transporter?" He asked.

" It was in this hatch in the middle of the jungle. A couple of the guys on the island had been trying to figure out a way to open it for months, but I figured it out before the rest of 'em." He finished smugly.

" So one day, you just, woke up and decided to open the hatch?"

" Yup. I didn't really care what was in it, I was just bored." Sawyer said defensibly. " It took me a while, but I figured it out."

"So for some reason, it was you, rather that some of the smarter, braver, nicer, more respectable, more hardworking, more en-"

"All right, get on with it!" Interrupted Sawyer, a little irritated at the obvious insinuation.

" Okay. So, as I was saying, out of all the other people on the island, you were the one who opened it. If you ask me, that's defiantly has something to do with a greater power."

" You think God wanted me to open the hatch?"

"No. I think that the Island wanted you to!"

" Why in the world would the Island want me to open the hatch? Why not Jack or Locke, or one of them other guys who worry about savin' the world?" Asked Sawyer curiously.

" Maybe it's because there's something happening here that has to do with the Island, and you're the only one who can do what needs to be done." Answered Kirk ominously. " And I get to help you!"

"Whoa! Where do you get off thinkin' that you need to help me?"

" Because! The transporter landed in MY basement! It could have landed anywhere else! Wait!" Gasper Kirk, excitedly flapping his arms, " What if we have to go on a quest, like Frodo and Sam? We get to destroy evil! Oh, I get to be Sam, I get to be Sam, I get to be Sam!" He ran around chanting, much to the exasperation of Sawyer.

"WAIT!" Sawyer shouted. " Weren't they gay? And didn't that little gut lose his hand?"

"No. The thought that Frodo and Sam were closer than other hobbits is a common rookie mistake. They were just friends, I swear. Sam even got married! But yes, Frodo did lose a finger. BUT HE SAVED THE WORLD!" He shouted, dancing around the room before being forcibly stopped by Sawyer.

" How do we even know that that's the reason I'm here? We don't know anything yet!"

"Well," said Kirk, considering, " We'll just have to wait and see. HEY! Maybe someone else will come through the transporter who knows what's going on! Then we'd have a leader! Or we could just wait and see. Do you have anywhere to be today?"

Sawyer looked at him like he was an idiot " I'm supposed to be stuck on a stupid island! Of COUSE I don't have anywhere to be!" Snapped Sawyer.

"Oh, well, in that case, maybe you should check out the town. I could stay here and watch for any more people through the transporter."

Sawyer thought a less than a minute about everything he missed while he was on the island, realizing that all this time, he hadn't even remembered that he was in a town. With food. And coffee. And women who were nice and wouldn't kick his butt.

" Alright." He answered.

Two hours later, after having showered, washed his clothes, and been given a hundred dollars from Kirk's 'secret stash', Sawyer was ready to hit the town. As he was walking upstairs and into the fresh air, Kirk called up to him.

" Sawyer! Welcome to Stars Hollow."